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You Know You're A Mother When: Momzilla

You Know You're A Mother When: Momzilla

I got a call from a friend the other day that was distressed. In the midst of planning his daughter's first birthday, he said his wife had turned into a Momzilla. She had stopped listening to his ideas, was second-guessing the party venue's suggested format and insisted on commissioning a cake that was larger than the birthday girl. And, she was starting to send out to do lists to family members.

I'd never heard the term before so it evoked visions of crazy brides, but the more I thought about it I realized that any woman with children could be considered a Momzilla at some point. Most moms want their kiddie parties to be fun with as few distractions as possible. Is it so wrong to want the best for your tot and to try to do everything you can to ensure that she has a carefree childhood?


katedavis katedavis 9 years
I agree with all the above posts. I think it is crossing the line to give to do lists to family. I went all out for my son's first birthday party, but I never expected anyone to do stuff. I worked on decorations for months and designed and printed the invites on my own. I'm a SAHM and I really enjoyed planning for the momentous occasion, and for sure people thought I was out of my mind when they showed up and found out I made everything, but it's what I enjoy doing. And I made myself tons of lists of things to do beforehand so once the party started I could just enjoy everything that was going on.
barbara-24 barbara-24 9 years
"Is it so wrong to want the best for your tot and to try to do everything you can to ensure that she has a carefree childhood?" No, that's not wrong, but becoming an insane chicken with it's head cut off to ensure your child is having the best damn carefree party ever, seems a little at odds with each other. This is a party for your young child, not for you. (right?) The bottom line is it should be fun. If not everything goes just the way you planned it, I'm sure it's not going to destroy the party. Being a momzilla is like being godzilla, people would like to kill you! You just end up scaring everybody and the person you hurt most is yourself.
faerymagick15 faerymagick15 9 years
I know certain ethnic groups have huge first birthdays. I was best friends with this woman who was full blooded Italian and the first bday party was HUGE! Her little girl received a piece of land in upstate New York from one relative and her son and her daughter both received college savings accounts on their first bdays in massive amounts from their uncle. The party itself wasn't too bad...lots of people, yes...but at a park. The food was amazing, her dad is an unbelievable cook (his sausage and peppers are to die for). The cake was sooo huge! My kids 1st bdays were very small..only about 10 people, with a small cake and balloons and a few gifts. Thats more my style!
Greggie Greggie 9 years
I sat back and enjoyed my wedding. Most brides I know did, actually. Like with my wedding, when it comes to my kids' parties and stuff, I do what I can beforehand but if stuff goes wrong that day, oh well. Stressing over stuff I can't fix doesn't accomplish anything except ruining my day.
Akpril Akpril 9 years
I've been thinking about this quite a bit lately: that the majority of my stress and unhappiness comes from the expectations I put on myself. I want everything to be perfect and happy and anything that does not fall under those two criteria makes me feel like I am failing my kid and myself. Why put that pressure of myself?! It's like our weddings- how many brides actually sit back and just enjoy the night? Or do we stress out trying to make everything perfect and miss out on how beautiful the day is? I'm trying to figure out how to sit back and just enjoy life as it happens, good and bad. I think I am going to be a lot happier this way.
MartiniLush MartiniLush 9 years
Anniekim, I know what you mean. I have to admit that I, myself, have fallen prey to this very urge - planning my son's birthday parties has become a major production for me. His last one was at a paleontology education center where there was a mock dinosaur dig for the (40!) kids to participate in, and I had two lunches catered in - one for the parents and one for the kids. Everyone had a blast, except for me, I made myself a wreck trying to make sure everything was perfect! Why did I feel the need to do this?? I have no idea!! It was temporary insanity is all I can think! I have already told my husband he is REQUIRED to reel me in next time around! LOL! :-)
Greggie Greggie 9 years
There's not a chance in hell I'd ever send to-do lists to my family and friends. It'd be a sure fire way to make sure they don't attend. I can get to the point where I'm micro-managing, but I like that friends and family will tell me to cut it out and let it be.
pinkprincess1101 pinkprincess1101 9 years
my fiancee's niece had an over the top 1st birthday for her daughter it was exactly like quince party, from the huge hall to the decorations the seating the food, but in a way it is understandable the baby is really sick no one expected her to live for her first birthday, but still it was way too much, poor baby she is blind dont know if she even enjoyed it
anniekim anniekim 9 years
I feel that the latest trend in birthdays (especially 1st birthdays) is too go nuts with the party. Around here it is common to hire a venue, invite 100+ guests, clowns, ice cream trucks, caterers etc. That is just too much IMO. I think the overboard mentality is the source of the dad's objections.
roxtarchic roxtarchic 9 years
the only problem i have.... is calling any woman a ZILLA. it's so belittling... weddings and children are STRESSFUL things, and of course you want it to be PERFECT & some people don't do perfect smoothly... i'm not condoning her actions.... (i mean if i were to send my family a to-do list, the first thing they'd to-do is kick my @ss hahah) but the husband who's complaining.... could maybe do a lil more (on that to-do list) and not let her feel like she's going it alone... i know that "ideas" usually equals more things for me to do, why doesnt he say "hey, what do you need me to do" instead of complaining and offering up ideas.... woah... didnt know that would work me up so much.... (my guy's only 7 months, i should probably just warn my husband now huh?) haha
Kimpossible Kimpossible 9 years
There is a big difference between allowing our children to have a carefree childhood and going bezerk over a birthday party imo. And how is the Mother acting this way demonstrating "carefree" to the child anyway? the child picks up on the stress too, so that's not carefree to me. I've known a lot of Momzilla's and they scare me. Between the big birthday bashes, and the "soccer" moms (I use soccer as a general term, it could be anything -dance, cheer, baseball, etc). It's very sad to me how these parents behave.
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