Let's All Be Honest: Raising a Baby Isn't That Different From Puppy Training

Around the time one of my friends had a baby, I adopted a puppy. Whenever I'd check in with her on how things were going, she'd tell me about sleepless nights, messy diaper changes, and constant feeding sessions. Man, I could relate. "It's like how with my dog . . . " She stopped me right there. "It's not the same thing."

"You can leave your dog at home alone." I can? Last time I did that, I had to throw out three bras, two decorative pillows, and a nice pair of heels.

"You can't put your kid on a leash." Oh, really? Then why do they sell these?

"Well, babies grow up." Sure, but when they do, they'll benefit from the same disciplinary tactics we learned in our dog's obedience school. (Making your pet face a wall, preferably a corner, when it's overstimulated sounds a lot like "time-out" to me.)

Alright, alright. Of course I know it's not the same thing. But if you'd just hear me out, there are a lot of similarities that both moms of baby humans and moms of baby dogs can relate to. And isn't it better to focus not on what makes us different but what brings us together?

Babies pee everywhere.
Flickr user Joost Assink

Babies pee everywhere.

Puppies also pee everywhere.
Flickr user /kallu

Puppies also pee everywhere.

Babies are hungry all the time.
Flickr user abbybatchelder

Babies are hungry all the time.

Puppies are also hungry all the time.
Flickr user BuzzFarmers

Puppies are also hungry all the time.

Babies are really into their toys.
Flickr user _-o-_

Babies are really into their toys.

Puppies are also really into their toys.
Flickr user mardias

Puppies are also really into their toys.

You can also carry a puppy.
Flickr user Katie@!

You can also carry a puppy.

Babies sleep a lot.
Flickr user josh

Babies sleep a lot.

Puppies also sleep a lot.
Flickr user Loren Sztajer

Puppies also sleep a lot.

Babies will freak out without warning.
Flickr user nateOne

Babies will freak out without warning.

Puppies will also freak out without warning.
Flickr user Tobyotter

Puppies will also freak out without warning.

Try as you might, you can't really communicate with babies.
Flickr user nelly!

Try as you might, you can't really communicate with babies.

Babies don't need to bathe that often. Which is good, because they usually hate it.
Flickr user valentinapowers

Babies don't need to bathe that often. Which is good, because they usually hate it.

Puppies also don't need to bathe that often. Which is also good, because they definitely hate it.
Flickr user wizardbearr

Puppies also don't need to bathe that often. Which is also good, because they definitely hate it.

Clipping baby fingernails is a terrifying task.
Flickr user _-o-_

Clipping baby fingernails is a terrifying task.

Clipping puppy fingernails is just as terrible.
Flickr user Winniepix

Clipping puppy fingernails is just as terrible.

Babies require several trips to the doctor. And several upsetting shots.
Flickr user R0011646

Babies require several trips to the doctor. And several upsetting shots.

Puppies also require several trips to the doctor. And several equally upsetting shots.
Flickr user Army Medicine

Puppies also require several trips to the doctor. And several equally upsetting shots.

Girl puppies require the same accessorizing.
Flickr user jelene

Girl puppies require the same accessorizing.

Babies chew their own feet.
Flickr user madprime

Babies chew their own feet.

Puppies also chew their own feet.
Flickr user AJU_photography

Puppies also chew their own feet.

Babies are so cute you can't stand it.
Flickr user Jennifer Lord Photography

Babies are so cute you can't stand it.

And so are puppies.
Flickr user Ger Dekker

And so are puppies.