45+ Halloween Jokes For Kids That Will Bring Out Their Evil Laughs

Updated on 10/27/2018 at 5:30 PM

Halloween can be a very spooky holiday (there's never a shortage of haunted houses, scary stories, and horror movies), but when you have kids, it's fun to lighten the mood a little to give things a less terrifying spin. And to them, there's really nothing not to love about Halloween. They get to dress up in awesome costumes, walk around their neighborhood with their friends, and get free candy all night long! And since kids love jokes — both hearing them and telling them — we've put together a great compilation of kid-friendly Halloween ones. They'll make you a hit at your kids' Halloween party and make them a hit with their friends at school. Keep reading to see them all now, and prepare to do your best evil "muhahaha."

Jack-o'-Lantern Jokes

These jokes are sure to put a smile on your child's face that's bigger than a jack-o'-lantern's!

What are jack-o'-lanterns afraid of? Things that go pumpkin the night.
How do you fix a broken jack-o'-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
What do you call a pretty pumpkin? Gourdgeous!
Why was Cinderella not very good at softball? Because her coach was a pumpkin.
Why was the jack-o'-lantern afraid to go on the roller coaster? It had no guts.

Haunted House Jokes

These not-too-scary jokes about haunted houses are great for kids.

What do they have to drink in haunted houses? Ghoulade.
Why are haunted houses so tall? They have hundreds of horror stories.
Which haunted house room do ghosts never go into? The living room.
What kind of TV do you find inside haunted houses? Big scream TVs.
What's for dessert at the haunted house? Booberry pie.

Skeleton Jokes

These silly jokes about skeletons are sure to tickle your little one's funny bone.

What was the skeleton's favorite musical instrument? The trom-bone.
What do you call a foolish skeleton? Bonehead.
When does a skeleton laugh? When something tickles his funny bone.
Why didn't the skeleton dance at the Halloween party? He had no body to dance with.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.

Witch Jokes

People may think your child put a spell on them for making them laugh (and cackle, perhaps) so much with these charming jokes about witches.

What do you call a witch at the beach? A sand-witch.
What was the name of the witch with one leg? Eileen.
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
What subject do they teach at witch school? Spelling.
Why won't a witch wear a flat hat? Because they see no point in it.

Vampire Jokes

Make sure you start these with "I vant to tell you a joke! Bwahahaha!"

Why did the vampire get kicked out of the house? Because he was a pain in the neck.
Why did Dracula take medicine? To keep from coffin.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher? Lots of blood tests.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.
How does a vampire flirt? She bats her eyes.

Werewolf Jokes

These werewolf jokes are sure to have your kids howling with laughter.

What do you call a werewolf with a fever? A hot dog.
What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock? He got ticks.
What do you call a werewolf with no legs? Anything you like — he can't chase you.
What did the clown do at a werewolf's party? Had them howling all night.
Where do werewolves hate shopping? The flea market.

Candy Jokes

Here are some sweet jokes about Halloween candy to share with your Baby Ruth — or whatever their name is.

What kind of bear has no teeth? A gummy bear.
What kind of candy would a drowning person like to have? A Life Saver.
What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
What is a leopard's favorite candy? Dots.
Knock, Knock "Who's there?" "Ben." "Ben who?" "Ben waiting to get candy all day!"

Monster Jokes

Even monsters would let out monstrous laughs when hearing these funny jokes.

Who did Frankenstein take to the dance? His ghoulfriend.
What type of monster loves dance music? The boogeyman.
Why wasn't there any food left after the monster Halloween party? Everyone there was a goblin.
What did the critics say about Frankenstein's art project? It's a monsterpiece.
What is a monster's favorite cookie? Ghoul scout cookies.

Black Cat Jokes

Your child will have good luck sharing these puuuurfect jokes about black cats with their friends.

What did the black cat have for breakfast? Mice Crispies.
How did the black cats end their fight? They hissed and made up.
What is a black cat's favorite color? Purrrrrrple.
What is cleverer than a talking black cat? A spelling bee.
Why don't black cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.

Ghost Jokes

Your little guy or ghoul will be the life of the Halloween party when sharing these friendly ghost jokes.

What's a ghost's favorite dessert? I scream.
What did the ghost say to his sweetheart? You look bootiful tonight.
What kind of streets do ghosts live on? Dead ends.
What's a ghost's favorite game? Hide-and-go-shriek.
Why did the ghost stop telling jokes? Too many boos.