7 Bits of Realness All Working Moms Know About Having to Pump at the Office

Returning to work after having a baby is a feat in itself. You've somehow recovered just enough to put on regular pants (maybe), regular underwear (maybe), and a regular bra to boot (yeah right). Regardless of when you've chosen to head back to the office, chances are that if you're breastfeeding your newborn, you'll likely decide to pump while you're away from them. You certainly don't have to pump, but not doing so can make some new moms physically uncomfortable, as their breasts can engorge throughout the day.

So what happens, exactly, when you're given that special key to the dimly lit mother's room in the recesses of your office? Absurd things, and then some. Mamas, if you've had to schlep your hospital-grade Medela to the office and found yourself burrowed in some weird room while your coworkers mill around outside, then you have definitely felt the following things.

01

When you shut the door to the mother's room and everyone looks up from their desk.

No matter how discreet you try to be when leaving the room, you always end up walking straight out into a sea of people who all stop working and look directly at you.

02

When your midday meeting runs over and you look down at your chest to see that you've started to leak.

Not a good look.

03

When you finally get situated in the mother's room and realize you left your pump flanges at home on the drying rack.

At which point you quickly order a backup of everything you could possibly need to leave at your desk for the future.

04

When you share a wall with the conference room and you're pretty sure the execs can hear your pump.

The machine sounds so much quieter at home.

05

When you're all set up in the mother's room, pumping and typing simultaneously.

You are the epitome of getting sh*t done. You'd like to see someone else try to produce milk and publish content at the same time.

06

When you finally finish, leave the mother's room, and manage to drop everything on the floor.

Clunk, clunk, clunk.

07

When it's technically not your time to be in the room, but you need to leave for the day and your milk is in the fridge.

"Hi, me again. Can I just sneak in and get my milk out of the fridge? I won't look."