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Ballsy Bride

Dear Sugar
My husband, my daughter and myself have been asked to be in a bridal party. Back story is my hubby and the groom used to be tight, but for the past 3 years, we haven't seen them more than twice. The wedding is coming up, and the expenses are very high. There are only 3 bridesmaids and we are expected to pay for her lavish shower. Add on a pricey dress, a wedding gift, 3 flights, a tuxedo, and I 'm expected to chip in for a piece of furniture as a shower gift. Is this right? I mean, she doesn't even call me on the phone or try to be friends. The most I've gotten from her in 3 years are e-mails with wedding instructions and updates. Am I too cruel to want to back out? The wedding is 5 months away. Panicked Pricilla

Dear Panicked Pricilla
She sure expects a lot from you. The right thing to have done was to address this immediately. Seeing as the wedding is only a few months away, I would just suck it up and be in her bridal party because you said you would. It's not going to cost your husband or daughter any extra to be involved. Also, tell the other 2 bridesmaids that you have financial limitations and that you have X amount to spend on the shower including the gift. I wouldn't bend over backwards for her and if you've drifted apart this much in the past few years, chances are that you will continue to grow apart. Don't over extend your budget. When it's time for you and your husband to give them a wedding present, opt for something small and thoughtful

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