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Fiance Does Not Want to Register

Ask a Savvy Bride: My Fiancé Doesn't Want Me to Register!

Starting a life as husband and wife is an exhilarating time — the celebrating, the planning, and of course the gifts! But what if you and your fiancé are on different pages? Check out the answer in this special wedding season Ask Savvy question, which will be answered by SavvySugar and a very savvy bride. Submit your questions in our Ask Savvy group.

Dear Savvy,

I am newly engaged and thrilled to start the planning process. My Maid of Honor has generously offered to throw us an engagement party to kick off the celebration and I'm beyond excited to register for gifts. Unfortunately, my fiancé quickly threw a wrench in the equation — he doesn't think we need to register! In his mind, we have everything that we need and thinks it's ridiculous to ask people to spend money on us. As someone who has "always been a bridesmaid, never the bride," I've been looking forward to having my time in the spotlight and picking out each and every wedding gift with care — there are still certain things we are missing in order to start our life together as husband and wife. How can I convince him that we're not being greedy by registering for wedding gifts?

I Want My Registry Regina

To see what a savvy bride has to say about this, keep reading after the jump.

Savvy bride says:

I get both sides of the argument, but this is a decision you're going to have to agree on, so hopefully I can help you find a middle ground. One thing you might want to explain to your fiancé is that registering for gifts actually helps those attending your wedding (as well as an engagement party or shower if applicable). If you don't guide your guests with what you want and need, you could end up with 50 tacky picture frames from some obscure store or kitchen knives that don't match.

Coming up with a list of things you'd like to get is a great way to start your petition. It sounds like your fiancé is trying not to put people out (a very sweet gesture), so be mindful when choosing your kitchen supplies and china — think about what you really need, be mindful of price points, and be sure you give your guests options (some will feel comfortable buying you a cookbook while others will want to splurge on a KitchenAid mixer). Pay attention to the things your fiancé would like, too. If he's really into wine, add some great wine glasses or an interesting decanter to the list. I found in my experience that if he feels more included, it's easier for him to get excited and wrap his head around the point of registering.

As a woman who has been to many weddings, I completely understand that you're excited for it to be your turn, but remember, this is about you and your fiancé — you have to start thinking as one. I hope that after some calm discussion, you guys can agree on a tasteful yet useful registry; and remember, gifts are exchangeable, so there are ways to get what you want at the end of the day!

Ask anything budget-, etiquette-, or planning-related — well, almost anything — by posting your questions in the Ask Savvy group, and I'll find the right expert to help you out.

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