POPSUGAR Parenting

The "Power Pause" Is Changing How Working Moms Approach Career Breaks

Taylor Andrews — Mon, 03 Aug 2026 06:00:05 -0700

The term "stay-at-home" parent never resonated with Neha Ruch. "The first time I had to use that phrase to describe myself, it just didn't fit," she tells Popsugar. After realizing the language felt outdated and limiting, she created a different term that felt more on brand. Enter: the "power pause."

Ruch, the founder and CEO of Mother Untitled, coined the term as a way to reframe the stigma around what a stay-at-home parent looks like. As she describes it, a power pause is an intentional break from the workforce, often to prioritize childcare needs at home. But unlike the traditional view, a power pause comes with the intention of returning back to work in whatever capacity that looks like for you.

With the rise of childcare costs and parents wanting to spend more time with their children, power pauses are becoming more and more popular - especially for women. According to an American Mothers on Pause study fielded by Proof Insights, one in three working moms are "somewhat, very, or extremely likely to leave their jobs for stay-at-home parenthood in the next two years."

Rather than viewing a career break as a step backward, however, many people in a power pause see it as a strategic decision: It's an opportunity to be more present for their children while also allowing space to reassess goals and return to work later with less stress and burnout. But even though the power pause has its benefits, it doesn't come without some risk.

Before deciding if a power pause is the right move for your family, Ruch explains everything to know about this movement and why it has become so popular for working mothers.

Experts Featured in This Article

Neha Ruch is an expert on parenting, women, work, and identity. She is the CEO and founder of Mother Untitled, a platform that helps ambitious women lean into family life, and also the author of "The Power Pause: How to Plan a Career Break After Kids - and Come Back Stronger Than Ever."

What Is a Power Pause?

A power pause is a "phase of life in which a parent deliberately shifts their time, focus, and energy away from their career and toward their children and household," Ruch writes in her book, "The Power Pause." During a power pause, the parent can then find clarity on what they want to pursue in the future once their kids have reached a certain age. Whether it's transitioning back to work or exploring a new business venture, the intention of the power pause is to "come out stronger - more yourself - on the other side."

The reasons why people may choose to take a power pause vary. According to the American Mothers on Pause study, 83 percent wanted to spend more time with their children, 77 percent wanted to be more available to see their children's milestones, and 62 percent said that childcare was too expensive.

Though the amount of time spent is entirely up to the individual, Ruch says it's common to see someone take a power pause for two to five years - most often when children are younger and less independent. That said, they can happen at any point. "This is one chapter in the long game of work and life, and there's tremendous amounts of dignity in it," Ruch says.

What Are the Benefits of a Power Pause?

One of the most obvious benefits of a power pause is that it allows for more time spent with a child or children. Of course, this allows for parents to be more present for milestones - both big and small - but it also helps them strengthen emotional connections with their children.

Another benefit is that there's less stress in the home. "The household may run more smoothly, more efficiently, and more calmly," Ruch says. "When one parent shifts their relationship to be able to do more of the intellectual and emotional labor in the home, the partner working out of the home benefits." And really, whether power pausing allows you to attend to your child's specific needs, manage the family calendar, or keep laundry going more efficiently, the whole house benefits.

With the rise in childcare costs, a power pause may help financially, as well. By staying home, one parent can offset daycare expenses while still having the option to return to work later.

What Are the Risks of Taking a Power Pause?

The most common reason people may not want to take a power pause is because they are worried it will hurt their career when they return. Some women have also reported feeling like they lost a part of their identity when they took a break to focus on childcare.

"This is one chapter in the long game of work and life, and there's tremendous amounts of dignity in it."

This is why Ruch says it's important to think of it as a pause - not something that has to be forever. "I encourage women when they're shifting away from their traditional work to remember that those skills and those experiences do not evaporate or just go away," she says. In the time of your power pause, you may develop even more skills or traits that can help you in your career when you decide to return.

Another downside may be thinking you're not as important or successful at home, but Ruch says you have to redefine how you view success. After all, the person taking a power pause contributes to the household just as much as the person working outside the home does. Even if they're not bringing in income, they're saving money, managing the general household responsibility, and taking care of children. "A lot of it comes down to knowing that you're still ambitious, still modern, and you can still be successful," Ruch says - even if it looks different than before.

Though you can save money by taking a power pause, finances can also be a risk. Ruch recommends having money conversations with your partner to make sure you can financially make it work. "Discuss how you value money, how you budget for this, and how you are going to value each other's contributions," she adds.

Is a Power Pause Right For You?

It could be, but this is also not the right choice for every family. For this reason, Ruch says it's important to assess all of your options before choosing to power pause. If you love your career but also want less stress in your home or more time with your kids, she encourages you to see if there's a way to get that in the role you already have. For example, you could ask about part-time or remote opportunities at your current place of employment. You could also decide that you don't want as much management responsibility, which could free up some time in your calendar.

If you're feeling burned out and would benefit from a break, then a power pause could be the right move for you. However, first consider asking for a sabbatical or look into other jobs that could give you a little bit more flexibility and less stress than your current job.

If you ultimately decide not to power-pause, know that you're not doing your children a disservice by working out of the home. "As long as children feel loved and safe by their caregiver," Ruch says, "it doesn't matter if you work out of the home or in the home."

And if you do decide a power pause makes the most sense for your family dynamic, then get intentional about what goals you want to achieve during this time. Why? Because the time you spend away from work can make you "really powerful" when you return, Ruch says.

At the end of the day, Ruch says a power pause isn't just about raising your kids, but about raising yourself too: "When you're not moving through the day-to-day of your traditional work, you can actually be able to study yourself about what lights you up, what piques your interest, and what conversations inspire you."

Taylor Andrews (she/her) is the senior balance editor at Popsugar, specializing in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, travel, and more. With eight years of editorial experience, Taylor has a strong background in content creation and storytelling. Prior to joining PS in 2021, she worked at Cosmopolitan.

Why a "Living Room Family" Is What Many Modern Parents Are Striving For

Taylor Andrews — Mon, 03 Aug 2026 06:00:05 -0700

In today's world of digital distractions and personalized spaces, it's easier than ever for young children to disappear into their rooms with an iPad or some toys. But for families that prioritize time together in the living room, connection becomes part of the daily routine.

Experts refer to this kind of dynamic as a "living room family," and it's exactly what it sounds like: a family that makes it a point to spend time together in a living room or other shared space. Instead of retreating into their own rooms, family members may gather on the couch to read books together, work on a puzzle at the coffee table, or watch a show on Netflix.

Much like a "kitchen table family," a living room family creates an environment that makes it easy to build familial bonds without effort. And though the quality time isn't always intentional or particularly structured, by simply being together in a shared space, children can feel more comfortable, supported, and connected.

"The idea of a 'living room family' captures the value of togetherness - not in a forced way, but as a daily rhythm that can help families stay connected in small, meaningful ways," adolescent mental health expert Caroline Fenkel, DSW, says. "Creating a welcoming shared space where everyone feels they can comfortably gather can give a family those small moments that add up to a lasting sense of closeness over time."

Experts Featured in This Article

Caroline Fenkel, DSW, LCSW, is an adolescent mental health expert and the chief clinical officer at Charlie Health, a treatment program for teens and adults struggling with their mental health.

Tamar Z. Kahane, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist and the founder of The Kahane Center, a mental health center that offers psychological and neuropsychological services.

What Is a Living Room Family?

A living room family is one that sees its common areas as central gathering spaces. "For these families, the living room is where family members feel welcome to come together regularly, whether to relax, chat, or share their day's events," Dr. Fenkel says.

When spending time together in the living room becomes normal for your family, Dr. Fenkel says it lets children see their parents as available and engaged, even if they're doing something different in the space. "This simple, consistent access to one another helps children feel safe and grounded, knowing they have a secure base where they belong."

While closeness is a major part of having a living room family, it's not the only benefit. According to clinical psychologist Tamar Z. Kahane, PsyD, having a living room family also creates a "breeding ground for children to develop social cognition skills." In a shared space, children can learn from overhearing conversations and observing family dynamics. They can also learn how to be around others, how to socialize, and how to share.

How to Create a Living Room Family For Your Children

If you want to raise children in a living room family, you can start by making the living room a welcoming and accessible space. "Set up spots where kids can play, read, or work on small projects, even if they're just small containers or designated corners," Dr. Fenkel says.

As a parent, you'll also want to make sure you spend time in the living room yourself, which will "subtly encourage others to do the same," Dr. Fenkel adds. You don't have to necessarily be doing an activity with your children during this time, but being present is the most important part.

Another important note is that you don't have to have a living room in order to create this kind of family dynamic. Though it may be more challenging, Dr. Kahane says that you can create a shared space in whatever area makes sense in your household. "This too can be seen as potential learning opportunities for children to improve their ability to take turns, develop distress tolerance, and become more flexible."

Additionally, it's OK if you don't have a compatible schedule with the other members of your family. "When both parents work, of course it's harder to have this family time," Dr. Kahane says. For some families, it may not be realistic for this dynamic to happen every day, she adds. "But even if families can set aside Friday night as family time or other pockets of time, this can be helpful."

At the end of the day, building a living room family is all about connecting with your children and partner. Find whatever way that works for you and your family to do just that.

Why Letting Your Kids Fail May Be the Ultimate Parenting Win

Tiffany Nieslanik — Mon, 03 Aug 2026 06:00:03 -0700

Did your kid forget their lunch? Mess up a class presentation? Get left out of the group chat? Oof. The parental urge to swoop in and fix things is real. But here's the hard truth - every time we rescue our kids, we might be making things worse for them in the long run.

Research indicates minor struggles now build confidence, resilience, and problem-solving skills later for kids. When we let children fail in developmentally appropriate ways, they don't just learn how to handle failure - they learn how to recover from it.

Jessica Lahey, author of "The Gift of Failure," witnesses this firsthand: She travels to schools all over the United States and leaves her email address so that kids can reach out to her. The majority of messages she receives illustrate kids feel they'll never measure up and that many believe their parents' love for them is tied to their performance at school.

Watching our kids fail is uncomfortable, but stepping back is one of the best things we can do for them, allowing them to develop skills they'll need for life. Here's why - and how - to let kids fail in a way that helps them grow.

Experts Featured in This Article

Jessica Lahey is a writer, speaker, and the author of "The Gift of Failure" and "The Addiction Inoculation."

Kendra Read, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and the vice president of care strategy and delivery at Brightline.

Why Parents Struggle to Let Their Kids Fail

Logically, parents know failure is a learning opportunity, so why do we grapple with letting our kids struggle? "It comes from a place of love, empathy, and a deep biological instinct to protect our children," explains Lahey.

Clinical psychologist Kendra Read, PhD, adds, "Failure – in big and small ways – is a certainty of life. Most misconceptions I see about failure come from thinking about the concept in terms of absolutes." When parents believe children should never fail, or when they catastrophize the consequences of small failures, they aren't setting kids up for long-term success.

Another challenge is that many modern parents have fewer children later in life and apply workplace problem-solving skills to parenting. Lahey says, "We take the tools and knowledge we've learned from work and transfer it to parenting, but we don't get a lot of feedback as parents. So, we co-opt our children's failures and successes." We tend to take the blame that has to be owned by the kids instead of helping them learn through the experience.

When we constantly step in, we also unintentionally teach kids learned helplessness. "We are telling them, 'I don't think you're competent enough to do this yourself,'" Lahey says. Over time, kids internalize this belief, undermining their confidence and ability to handle challenges.

The Science Behind Failure and Growth

Resilience is built through struggle. The difference between someone with high self-esteem and someone with low self-esteem isn't the absence of failure, says Dr. Read. It's the ability to recognize that failure is normal, and that self-worth isn't tied to perfection. "If you don't have the opportunity to experience failure, you don't have the opportunity to practice these skills."

Kids need what Lahey calls "desirable difficulties" - challenges that feel hard but are within their ability to overcome. She references Laurence Steinberg's research on risk-taking, which points to the fact that a little kid's physical limitations will keep them from getting too hurt. Consider a teenager who has never climbed a tree and is suddenly being egged on by friends to do so. As a young child, they wouldn't have been able to climb as high, but now their risk of getting hurt is much greater. "We need to let kids try things that are developmentally appropriate, even if we are scared," says Lahey.

Another factor to consider is parental accommodation. This urge to rescue kids from uncomfortable experiences leads to changing the environment in a way that prevents kids from learning that events might not be as bad as they thought. "When we constantly step in to prevent distress, we teach our kids that we don't think that they can handle the challenge," Dr. Read says. This avoidance perpetuates that cycle and increases kids' anxiety over time rather than reducing it.

How to Let Your Kids Fail - Without Letting Them Flounder

If you need to incorporate more successful failure into your family life, begin with small, low-stakes challenges. Before stepping in to help a child, Lahey suggests asking yourself, "Am I depriving my child of a learning opportunity?" She provides examples like letting your kids order their own food or manage their homework. "Even if you have shy kids, they have to speak to grown-ups eventually, so help them learn that skill," Lahey says. Plus, these experiences serve as stepping stones for bigger challenges later in life.

As a family, shift how you talk about failure and success. When a child comes to you with a problem, resist the urge to offer immediate help or reassurance. Instead, ask, "What do you think?" and give them space to weigh in to encourage self-reflection and problem-solving.

Dr. Read also cautions against a parent's temptation to issue blanket reassurances to kids like "It'll be fine" or "It's no big deal!" She says, "When we do that, we tend to inadvertently invalidate how our kids are feeling." Instead, acknowledge their feelings and discuss possible outcomes, including what would ultimately happen if the worst thing occurred. This helps kids build realistic expectations and trust in your advice, Dr. Read says.

Use these discussions to encourage progress over perfection. Try to change the focus from outcomes (grades, awards, etc.) to effort and persistence to help you and your child begin to see failure as a learning opportunity. Instead of jumping in to fix mistakes, Lahey says, "Stop. Take a breath. Ask yourself, are there skills here that are important to be learned? And if I take over, will I deprive my kid of this life experience?"

Finally, normalize failure at home. Let kids see your mistakes or talk about ones you've made and how you handled them. When your kids make mistakes, Lahey suggests asking, "Do I want my kid to do this perfectly, perfectly safely right now, or be able to do it themselves next time?" If your kids balk at trying to do it themselves or feel uncomfortable with failure, work on telling them, "I know this is hard, and I know you can do it" rather than stepping in.

That same advice applies to parents learning to step back. It might be hard, but you can do it.

The Long-Term Payoff: Raising Confident, Capable Humans

Parenting trends shift. Gen X kids usually had more independence, while millennials were often helicopter-parented. Now, a balanced, scaffolded approach is emerging - one that fosters independence while providing support.

Kids who fail, recover, and try again grow into adults who can navigate setbacks, solve problems, and advocate for themselves. The ability to take action in the face of challenges is a skill no one can learn for them and one that cannot be taken away.

Dr. Read also points out that not all environments are equally safe, particularly for Black, transgender, and gender-nonconforming youth. A step-wise approach to independence allows for both skill-building and necessary safety considerations.

Letting go can be challenging, but as Lahey reminds us, "Learning opportunities don't happen on our timetable. They happen when a kid needs to learn something, and there are a limited number of opportunities during their time with us." As parents, our job is to make sure we don't miss those moments.

By allowing kids to experience failure in a safe and supportive environment, we're giving them the tools to navigate life with confidence, resilience, and self-trust. And that's an ultimate parenting win.

Tiffany Nieslanik is a freelance writer in Denver, CO, with over a decade of experience. She generally covers working motherhood, parenting, travel, music, and lifestyle trends

The Rise of the Dad Club

Emma Glassman-Hughes — Mon, 03 Aug 2026 05:55:02 -0700

Getty

With any new baby, there's an endless list of unexpecteds - but what first-time dad Joe Gonzales least expected was his own crisis of confidence. Suddenly he wondered about going out alone with his infant son, what people would think, and if he could handle any medical or diaper-related emergencies. At his lower moments, he even recalls asking himself: If I take him to the bathroom, are people gonna think I stole this kid? It wasn't until October 2024, when he put out a call to other new dads in his Brooklyn neighborhood suggesting a meetup in McCarren Park, that he began to relax.

"We just sat around and talked. No pride, just, 'Hey I'm learning this, you're learning this,'" Gonzales tells Popsugar. "There's a lot that goes into parenting that's maybe new discoveries, and they're scary, but seeing dads that were willing to have those conversations with you was just really encouraging. It filled a need."

It wasn't long before news of that gathering caught wind in the NYC parenting scene, sparking demand for regular meetings of the newly minted Brooklyn Stroll Club.

"If we want a better community, a better state, a better country, there's some small things we can do at home by being the best parent we can be."

All over the country, there are dads like Gonzales craving connection - not just with their kids, but with each other. These dads want the world to know that modern fatherhood looks different than it did when they were kids - and maybe even unrecognizable from what their own dads experienced a generation before them.

Dads today have more license than ever to be vulnerable, present, and tender with their kids, partners, and themselves. And for those who don't have the space they need, many are carving it out, creating intimate experiences for the dads and kids in their communities where they didn't exist before. It's the era of the dad club, and we're all better for it - whether you yourself are a parent, a child, a partner, a friend, or just a daddy admirer. (Pedro Pascal fans count.)

More attuned, insightful, openly loving dads translates to better families and better societies, Gonzales says, especially at a time when reproductive rights have been so eroded and pregnancy has become even more politicized. Being a parent himself has given Gonzales more empathy for his own wife, and for parents in general - understanding the costs, not only of material things like daycare and living expenses, but also the mental and spiritual toll of raising a child today.

"I think dads, when they're present and active and listening to not only their child but their partners, can advocate for what is really needed for the best of their family," he says.

Courtesy of Joe Gonzales

Many dad club leaders believe their groups and others like them are revolutionizing parenting, giving dads permission to take more active roles in their families. Gonzales, for one, has now memorized the anatomy of the family diaper bag, and doesn't hesitate to take his baby for walks, with or without his Brooklyn Stroll Club companions. "Being outside with your kid can be crazy anywhere, and being outside in New York is crazy in general," he says. "But now I know what's in my baby bag, I know if he's hungry or tired. I can give him what he needs. I've gained that confidence."

To see this daddyhood renaissance for ourselves, PS checked in with four dad clubs from coast to coast. Meet the groups below and learn about how they're bringing dads together to break the stigmas around fatherhood and reunite with the joys of parenting.

Get to Know 4 Dad Clubs

Dads Coffee Club - Los Angeles

Sara Sanei / Courtesy of Ron Holden Jr.

Dads Coffee Club isn't Ron Holden Jr.'s first community organizing effort. He previously founded the Ride for Black Lives, a twice-weekly bike ride through greater LA to foster a "positive safe space" for his friends and neighbors.

While that group has dwindled a bit (they meet something more like once a quarter now), he's been busy with a few other big projects: namely raising his daughter alongside his partner, working full-time as a creative director at an agency, and running a new community group dedicated to bringing dads and kids together at his favorite coffee shops around his hometown.

Holden Jr. refused to believe that becoming a dad meant he had to sacrifice his favorite things, including adult pleasures like basking in the ambience of a cool cafe. Long before Dads Coffee Club was launched in January 2025, he'd already made a habit of taking his daughter to coffee shops on his own, turning one of his favorite formerly solo hobbies into a bonding opportunity for the two of them. And while the DCC meetups, which have grown to host upwards of 50 dads and kids apiece, are notably less zen than those one-on-one dates, he's dedicated to encouraging dads to share their passions with their kids even at a young age.

"As an adult you still want to try to do adult things, and trying to figure out a way to incorporate your child into your world is important," he tells PS.

Most attendees have young kids in tow, but some come alone - whether because their kid had a separate playdate, or, in the case of one recent dad, they just left home for college. Holden Jr. finds the range of ages especially gratifying, like when he gets to watch a dad of a 21-year-old offer some pearls of wisdom to a dad of a 6-month-old.

The connections he's fostering at DCC give him hope for the future. And with his second baby due this summer, that future is looking especially bright.

"The way our community and our society looks starts with our home situation, so I'm super glad that there's a change and some momentum into what fatherhood can or should look like," he says. And the rise of dad clubs is reflective of that. "If we all want a better community, a better state, a better country, there's some small things we can do right at home by being the best parent we can be."

Mindful Music Group For Dads - Brooklyn

Zack McTee / Courtesy of Dan Saks

According to founder Dan Saks, some attendees of the Mindful Music Group For Dads surprise themselves with how much they're able to approach playing music without judgment or trepidation - the way their kids might.

Saks, a certified music therapist and founder of Qualia Music, is a professional musician, but the sessions are specifically designed for dads who are not. Instead they're meant to provide space to play around with percussion instruments for roughly 45 minutes, and just kind of . . . see what happens.

Oftentimes the sonic result is "surprisingly more delicate than anything else," Saks tells PS. It doesn't tend to sound like a drum circle with a specific groove, but it can range from a "kind of soundscape-y" quality to more straightforward "banging." But it's never an hour of pure banging and screaming, "even if that's what people really want to do," Saks jokes.

Saks, who plays in a band called The LeeVees, had found some success as the creator and host of the children's musical podcast "Noodle Loaf" when his two kids were small. But as they got a little older, now 10 and 13, he decided to take his love of music in a different direction and pursue a license in music therapy from Slippery Rock University. An internship at the Brooklyn Conservatory of Music led to the creation of the Mindful Music Group For Dads, a dedicated space for what Saks calls "attending on purpose to the moment-to-moment experience with a nonjudgmental, friendly-towards-oneself presence."

"I just had this idea that it could serve as a way to get together where language and words aren't the focus of the connection," he says.

Because there are already plenty of other social groups designed to bring new dads and their babies together, Saks wanted to offer something different. "Other groups are usually meeting somewhere with your baby, and I think that's great, but the conversations then are about sleep training, toileting, and being tired," he explains. "It's about the role as 'dad.'"

Instead, he wanted to create a space where dads can exist outside of that. "Where they're not just a 'provider,' and they can just be more themself," he says.

Daddy Stroller Social Club - Dallas-Fort Worth, TX; Cleveland; Atlanta

Carmen Bridgewater / Courtesy of Kalvin Bridgewater

When Kalvin Bridgewater's wife gave birth to their daughter in October 2019, he was so focused on helping her navigate her postpartum depression that he didn't even notice his own. "I was so depressed about becoming a father, not knowing how to be a father, not knowing if my daughter would be comfortable around me," he tells PS. "I was wondering if my daughter will ever love me. But I didn't want to overshadow my wife's needs."

When COVID restrictions eased the following summer, he asked a few of his fellow dad friends to join him for what was supposed to be a casual stroll. Eight hours in, they'd all opened up to one another about their shared postpartum depression and the challenges they'd faced as new dads. When their meetups became more regular, the Daddy Stroller Social Club was born. That was in Dallas-Fort Worth - but now, there are DSSC chapters in 22 US cities, including in Cleveland, Detroit, and Atlanta.

In 2024, Mitchell Phelps piloted the first chapter offshoot in Cleveland, recruiting dads he would see at the grocery store and elsewhere about town. Now there's a consistent group who meet for what DSSC leaders call their "strides," or their group walks and park hangs.

Similarly, Myer Krah kicked off the Atlanta chapter. A Navy vet, Krah left the military a couple years ago so he could be a steadier presence in his five young kids' lives. Since then, he launched his own podcast, "Here 4 the Dads," and works full-time as a professional fatherhood advocate and parenting coach.

According to Phelps, the chapter leaders talk regularly in a group chat, and bonded after undergoing an eight-week orientation course that ensures they're all joining for the right reasons: to support other dads and foster community. "Especially Black men, we don't show our weaknesses and are taught that being vulnerable with another male is not important," he says. But at DSSC, "we've broken down lots of walls and barriers."

For Krah, fatherhood has unleashed emotions he never knew he had. "Since I had my second child, I am more sensitive to things I wasn't before - I cry sometimes watching a Disney movie," he admits with a laugh.

And the DSSC community has helped him embrace those new emotions rather than push them away. "I have four boys. I don't want them to have to live with this feeling of being alone, when I have the opportunity to make some changes in our culture today," he says. "We have the opportunity to save ourselves and change our culture in a way that suits us."

Brooklyn Stroll Club - Brooklyn

Nick Lanton / Courtesy of Joe Gonzales

Now a senior producer at Hypebeast, Joe Gonzales worked as a tour photographer in a past life, and credits what he saw on tour with rapper Lecrae as having influenced his approach to fatherhood. In between shows, and from several time zones away, Lecrae would get on the phone with his son to help him with his homework. "When I think of Stroll Club, I think of that, and how important it is to maintain your career and find your purpose but also remain present," Gonzales says.

Finding that balance has remained a goal ever since. When Gonzales and his wife moved to New York, the two Texas natives initially struggled to locate social groups that prioritized family as much as career climbing. So when he couldn't find what he was looking for, he started it himself.

What began as a small gathering in the neighborhood park has grown into a Discord community with almost 2,500 members and regular in-person events that draw over 150 participants, bringing out dads and kids from as far away as Staten Island and New Jersey for a couple of hours of loosely structured community playtime.

Gonzales has seen firsthand how low the bar can be for dads, and he wants to raise it. "Even just walking with my son, everyone's like, 'Oh let me get the door,' and my wife doesn't get the same sentiment," he tells PS. "That's telling of how men and dads have been represented in culture, and how women are the backbone of everything and they don't get the love or respect."

One way he tries to compensate for that imbalance is by acknowledging that dad clubs like his - though they are clearly a growing trend - are pulling their inspiration from generations of women, especially mothers, who have gathered together to perform the essential but mostly unpaid labor of community-building. "Women have been doing this for decades, they're so good at creating those communities where they feel safe and seen," he says.

When he's out with his son, he gets a lot of fawning comments from strangers for what he calls "the bare minimum" - taking his child for a walk. "I don't wanna be celebrated for doing the bare minimum, I wanna be celebrated for being a good parent," he says. "It's the biggest honor of my life and it's the biggest honor of the dads in the group."

Emma Glassman-Hughes (she/her) is a former associate editor at PS Balance. In her seven years as a reporter, her beats have spanned the lifestyle spectrum; she's covered arts and culture for The Boston Globe, sex and relationships for Cosmopolitan, and food, climate, and farming for Ambrook Research.

The Lorelai Gilmorification of Millennial Moms

Jennifer Heimlich — Mon, 03 Aug 2026 05:55:02 -0700

When "Gilmore Girls" debuted on The WB in 2000, teen girls everywhere adored the quietly confident teenage character of Rory. Played by Alexis Bledel, she had the kind of life that adolescents dream of: a mom who treated her like an adult, Ivy League-level intelligence, cute boyfriends, and a hometown that looked like it'd smell of pumpkin spice year-round.

Today, those teen girls have grown up. Many of them started their own families, and as they rewatch - and again rewatch - the series, they no longer see themselves in Rory, but in her quippy, caffeine-obsessed mom Lorelai, played by Lauren Graham. "It's hard not to admire her," says Shannon Healey, a single mom from Pennsylvania.

It's not only the character's deep well of witty one-liners that's earned her a community of mom fans; Lorelai has the kind of relationship with her daughter that many women dream of. As she puts it herself in one episode, "We're best friends first, and mother and daughter second." She's the "cool mom" millennials wanted to have as teens - and now want to become themselves.

Experts Featured in This Article

Kiva Schuler is a parenting coach and the co-founder of the Jai Institute For Parenting. She is also the author of "The Peaceful Parenting (R)evolution."

Sure, their relationship dynamic is a bit extreme (it is a teen drama, after all). But there are many real-life moms who see the characters' tight bond, and are attempting to re-create it at home. Healey, for instance, says she's intentionally followed Lorelai's footsteps when it comes to her open, share-all-the-things communication style. "I never wanted my daughter to feel like she needed to keep things from me," she says. "I wanted there to be open lines of communication. We can have a conversation, hopefully, without judgment."

For other moms, it's Lorelai's respect for her daughter that they love. "Lorelai saw Rory as a person and tried to be there for her instead of pushing her to be someone she isn't - she wanted her to be herself without shame," says one mom from the South, who asked to simply go by Yellow. She says she relates to the way Lorelai deliberately parents Rory differently from what she experienced growing up under controlling parents.

She's the "cool mom" millennials wanted to have as teens - and now want to become themselves.

"I think a lot of parents in our generation resonate with not wanting to be what their parents were," parenting coach Kiva Schuler says. She points out that while Lorelai's mother and father were oppressively strict and at times downright manipulative, Lorelai parents from a place of warmth and connection - something that may be appealing to the kind of mom who diligently follows TikTok tips on gentle parenting.

At the same time, there's also something to be said for Lorelai's life beyond her identity as a mother. She's got a successful career, close friendships, and sexy romantic relationships. In many ways, Lorelai's approach stands in stark contrast to the style of modern parenting that's become so intense and all-consuming the US surgeon general issued a warning about it in 2024. What if, instead of being seen as work, parenting was more rooted in friendship? Clearly, the role of "best friend" is far less demanding than that of "anxious parent completely overwhelmed by the stress of trying to raise the perfect child."

"When we look at a lot of what's happening right now, and very significant mental health challenges, one conversation that I think we all really need to look at is overparenting," Schuler says. "It doesn't need to look like that."

On the other hand, Schuler points out that Rory is portrayed as an independent child who seemingly doesn't need much parenting, which lets Lorelai off the hook a bit. But still, she says there's value in Lorelai's more hands-off approach. In her own life as a single mom and business owner, Schuler says her two kids ended up taking on a lot of responsibility at a young age. "I carried some guilt about that for a while," she admits. "But now that I look at who they are, I don't know that that was a bad thing."

To be clear, there are multiple Reddit threads questioning Lorelai's choices and debating whether she's a good parent. Many criticize her emotional immaturity, her selfishness, and her lack of boundaries with Rory. "We all have this goal that our children at some point become our best friends," Schuler says. "But in an ideal world, it shouldn't feel that way until children are fully cooked, right?"

Yet some modern moms say Lorelai's flaws have only made her more influential on their own choices. For instance, Yellow says she's learned from the way Lorelai often pulls Rory into her own drama when it comes to things like her dating life and finances. "Sometimes I notice myself unloading too much and pull back," she says. "To be honest, funny as this sounds, if I hadn't seen 'Gilmore Girls' and disliked that part of Lorelai's parenting, I'd probably have done it more!"

Healey, meanwhile, says watching Lorelai's trouble with setting boundaries validated similar challenges she's faced herself. "She often crosses lines and blurs that mother-versus-friend relationship, which is tough as a single mom," she says. "I know that I really struggle. You don't have a partner backing you up, so being the bad guy can be very hard."

Schuler says that if the character of Lorelai were to come to her for advice in real life, she'd tell Lorelei to really look into and question her deep-seated desire to be a friend rather than a mother. "She would need to go through the process of really understanding the fear or grief or loss that is keeping her from sitting in that role of parent," she says. "That is a choice that has so much history and so many of her unmet needs underneath it."

Still, Schuler says that doesn't mean Lorelai is a bad parent, or a bad example to follow. She believes there is a way today's "Gilmore Girl"-loving moms can imitate the best of Lorelai while also avoiding her mistakes. "We can be two things at once," she says. "We can be warm. We can be compassionate. We can be curious about our children's worldview and experience and not assume to know better about their life than they know themselves. And also, we can be their teacher, their guide, their mentor." (And maybe think twice before giving them quite so much coffee.)

Jennifer Heimlich is a writer and editor with more than 15 years of experience in fitness and wellness journalism. She previously worked as the senior fitness editor for Well+Good and the editor in chief of Dance Magazine. A UESCA-certified running coach, she's written about running and fitness for publications like Shape, GQ, Runner's World, and The Atlantic.

Why "Nacho Parenting" Could Be the Solution For Your Blended Family

Taylor Andrews — Wed, 25 Feb 2026 06:00:02 -0800

When it comes to raising children, parents are often told that it takes a village. But sometimes, even the most loving villages can become overcrowded with conflicting opinions and various parenting styles. Because of this, some adults are choosing to adopt a new strategy called nacho parenting - an approach that encourages folks to step back rather than step in.

Nacho parenting is the shortened term for "not your kids, not your problem." (Yes, it's what "mind your business" would be as a parenting style.) And though it can be a strategy applied in any scenario that involves a child that isn't yours, it's most specifically used to define stepparent roles. Below, child psychologist Sandra L. Whitehouse, PhD, explains more on nacho parenting and whether it's an effective parenting style.

Experts Featured in This Article

Sandra L. Whitehouse, PhD, is the associate clinical director and a senior psychologist at the Child Mind Institute.

What Is Nacho Parenting?

In general, nacho parenting means "not your kid, not your problem," so if you see a child that isn't yours acting up or throwing a tantrum, you would avoid intervening. However, Dr. Whitehouse says that nacho parenting is a style more commonly used in blended families. "Nacho parenting is a playful way of saying that stepparents should step back and disengage from trying to parent their partner's children," she says. "Instead, a stepparent's main role is to support their spouse or partner and respect the children's biological parents as decision makers."

If you are practicing nacho parenting, this means stepparents would avoid asserting authority and disciplining their stepchildren. Instead, the stepparent would focus on "building a solid relationship with the children," Dr. Whitehouse adds.

The Pros and Cons of Nacho Parenting

For blended families, Dr. Whitehouse says nacho parenting can be useful with clear communication. "Children, especially those adjusting to a new family structure, tend to be more open to a stepparent who doesn't try to replace their biological parent or disrupt routines," Dr. Whitehouse says. "The other parent might also be more willing to accept and work with the stepparent." Fortunately, these two factors could make the transition much easier for everyone involved.

However, nacho parenting can sometimes distance the stepparent from the rest of the family or create a power imbalance, Dr. Whitehouse says. If the child knows the stepparent won't discipline them or intervene, this could cause them to act out or behave poorly on purpose.

Outside of blended families, nacho parenting can be an effective strategy when dealing with kids who aren't your own - especially since there's no one right way to parent. However, Dr. Whitehouse says that you should feel empowered to step in if the child is doing something that "has caused, is causing, or could cause harm to themselves or others." If it's not urgent, she recommends speaking to the biological parent directly first, but if it needs to be addressed right away, she advises you to "keep your cool, be fair and firm, and follow up with a conversation with the biological parent."

Is Nacho Parenting Effective?

For blended families specifically, nacho parenting can be very effective when boundaries and expectations are clear. "Biological parents and stepparents should understand the roles that each will play, and children should be told about the stepparent's supportive role and given an opportunity to ask questions and share their thoughts," Dr. Whitehouse says. This can help stepparents ease into the family system more naturally.

That said, there's no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to parenting. What may work for one family may not work for your family, and that's OK. "Like any approach to family life, its success depends on patience, empathy, and flexibility. Ultimately, each family creates its own harmony," Dr. Whitehouse says.

Taylor Andrews is the senior balance editor at Popsugar, specializing in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, travel, and more. With eight years of editorial experience, Taylor has a strong background in content creation and storytelling. Prior to joining PS in 2021, she worked at Cosmopolitan.

What Co-Sleeping as a Family Actually Looks Like

Lena Felton — Tue, 16 Dec 2025 05:05:02 -0800

When lifestyle content creator Hunter Premo first posted a video of the massive bed in which she sleeps with her husband, 2-year-old, and 5-year-old every night, she didn't expect it to get thousands of comments of other parents weighing in on co-sleeping. From messages of encouragement to comments like "I'm so glad I never did this," it was clear people had thoughts.

The family's bedtime routine looks like this: they'll read books together, then put their five-month-old down in her crib, which is right next to the bed. Then, they'll all drift off to sleep around 8 o'clock. And Premo is adamant that it's the right choice for her family.

"To me, I look at it as more time together when they're little and one day they won't want to sleep with us, so we're just soaking up those moments while we can," she tells Popsugar.

Sharing an extra-large bed with her kids wasn't necessarily what Premo had on her parenting bingo card, but when her oldest was about 14 months, he got sick on a vacation. Premo and her husband let him sleep in their bed the whole trip, and "everyone just slept so much better," she says - so the habit stuck. When her middle son turned 2, he wanted to sleep with them, too, so "we were four deep in a king bed." Premo assumes that when her youngest grows into a toddler, she'll want to join in as well. "What is often viewed as a 'last resort' has ended up being one of my favorite parts of motherhood," she says.

Social media is filled with the myriad of ways parents try to tackle bedtime, whether that's diligently sticking to sleep-training techniques like the Ferber Method or practicing attachment-style sleeping. For many millennials who grew up with parents who had an "off limits" mindset about kids sleeping in their bed, co-sleeping can feel particularly out there - prompting questions about the actual mechanics of all sleeping in bed together, how couples find time for intimacy, and whether it's good for kids' development.

Co-sleeping technically refers to any situation in which families sleep in the same room, while bed-sharing involves parents sleeping in the same bed as their kids. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises against bed-sharing until a child is 1 or older. It also reports that approximately 3,500 infants die of sleep-related causes, including sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), every year. As for a safe sleeping environment for infants, the AAP recommends: "supine positioning; use of a firm, noninclined sleep surface; room sharing without bed sharing; and avoidance of soft bedding and overheating."

Experts Featured in This Article

Craig Canapari, MD, is director of the Yale Pediatric Sleep Center. He's the author of "It's Never Too Late to Sleep Train" and co-host of the podcast "The Sleep Edit."

Director of Yale Pediatric Sleep Center Craig Canapari, MD, always advises families to follow the AAP's guidelines when it comes to safe sleeping. The research is mixed on bed-sharing after infancy, he says - there's not a lot of data on whether co-sleeping is a hindrance in terms of development, nor whether it has specific benefits, either.

"This is an issue of: different families make different choices," Dr. Canapari says. But there are some questions parents can ask if they're considering co-sleeping. "Everyone in the household deserves to sleep well. So if there's a child in the parent's bed, is the child sleeping well? Are both parents sleeping well? Is there enough space for everyone to feel comfortable? And is the child able to successfully separate without tears or anxiety?"

For families we spoke to who have opted to bed-share and co-sleep, the answer is yes. Nathalia Castellon, an actress who also runs her own boutique digital marketing agency, says that when she was pregnant with her now-4-year-old son, she did "tons of research" about the best way to get him to sleep, and everything she saw was about sleep training. She tried the Ferber Method - which encourages children to learn to self-soothe through brief, timed check-ins - but remembers there being a lot of "anxious energy" around bedtime. When her son was about 9 months, he grew out of his crib, and Castellon and her fiancé bought a Montessori floor bed - which was big enough for her to lie down on, too, and she would stay there until her son fell asleep.

"And with that, everything that I had worked so hard for to sleep train went out the window," she says. "It wasn't that I thought co-sleeping was good or bad, it was just kind of my journey."

"It wasn't that I thought co-sleeping was good or bad, it was just kind of my journey."

These days, Castellon doesn't sleep with her son all night, but they'll read a bedtime story, talk about his day, and play music until he falls asleep. "Sometimes I fall asleep and I stay there and then I wake up at 1 a.m. and get out," she says. "Or he falls asleep and I get out and he stays by himself."

For Castellon, this routine has reduced her own anxiety around putting her son to bed. And as for how it's affected her relationship with her fiancé? "Actually, dad's very happy," she laughs. "It doesn't take much time out of my night. It promotes my relaxation after he passes out - whether I'm watching shows with my fiancé or just winding down. I don't lose time. If anything, it improves my time, because I know he's well-rested."

Rachael Shepard-Ohta, co-host of the "You're So Right" podcast, had a similar experience. She tried sleep training her now-8-year-old son, but after a "traumatic" 11 months, she didn't want to do the same with her second child. She started looking into co-sleeping, and eventually enrolled in a sleep-consulting certification program. When she had her two younger daughters, she started bed-sharing soon after giving birth. "I would bring them to bed, I would nurse them to sleep in bed, they would fall asleep beside me, and I would scroll on my phone, watch a show, and then go to sleep too," she says. Shepard-Ohta and her husband's three kids started sleeping in their own rooms at various ages quite easily, she says. Her youngest is 3, and she'll still come into their bed in the early morning hours.

"It was just life-changing," Shepard-Ohta says of her family's experience bed-sharing. "I felt so much less anxious, I felt so much better rested, they were doing well, my husband was really supportive of it."

Again, Dr. Canapari warns against any bed-sharing until children are older than 1. "The challenge here is, especially in infancy, that the risk of suffocation or SIDS is very real," he says. "And it's such a horrible outcome, it's really hard to recommend - even if there may be things that reduce the risk."

As a parenting influencer who shares about sleeping methods online, Shepard-Ohta is aware of the criticism around co-sleeping, but she believes the Baby-Led Sleep and Holistic Sleep sleep-certification programs she did and books she's read (including "How Babies Sleep" by Helen Ball and "Safe Infant Sleep" by James McKenna) ensured a safe sleeping environment for her kids. Her followers are also generally curious about the other potential drawbacks of bed-sharing - Shepard-Ohta gets a lot of questions about time for intimacy, for example.

"For me personally, postpartum was not when I was most interested in intimacy anyway, so it was kind of fine with me," she says. "My husband was not threatened by our baby. He saw this as a very short season where our relationship might come second and the baby's needs might come first, and my sleep might come first. I think he knew that my sleep - and therefore my mental health - was crucial to the whole family's well-being, so he was kind of willing to do whatever it took for that to be the priority for that short time. And I think you also learn to be a little more creative. It doesn't always have to happen in your bed at night."

In the end, these parents have found the time with their kids - falling asleep hearing about their days, waking up to snuggles - outweighs the potential drawbacks. "We're never going to be able to get these moments back," Castellon says. "So whatever consequences might come with it, I'm prepared for it because it's so worth it now, not just for me but for him, too. And yes, there's occasional bruising - sometimes you'll get kicked in the ribcage. But I just think it's worth it."

Lena Felton (she/her) is a senior director of special projects at PS, where she oversees sponsored packages, tentpole projects, and editorial partnerships. Previously, she was an editor at The Washington Post, where she led a team covering issues of gender and identity. She has been working in journalism since 2017, during which time her focus has been feature writing and editing and elevating historically underrepresented voices. Lena has worked for The Atlantic, InStyle, So It Goes, and more.

"Soft Guidance" Does What Gentle Parenting Can't

Emma Glassman-Hughes — Thu, 11 Dec 2025 06:00:02 -0800

It's a well-documented fact that no kid wants to do chores. By definition, chores are the tasks kids slog through because someone told them they have to do them, or because it's how they afford their bucket of popcorn before sneaking into an R-rated movie. No kid actually likes them. Right? Well, no kid except for Tyler Butterworth's kids. In fact, they've even been known to assign themselves new chores just because they look . . . fun.

Recently, after Butterworth made a video teaching his elementary-aged son how to clean the bathroom - featuring safety goggles, many giggles about "poo particles," and Butterworth's signature certificate of completion upon learning a new life skill - the professional content creator's younger daughter asked if she could clean the bathroom the next day.

The secret, Butterworth thinks, comes down to the way he teaches his kids to take ownership over their household chores. Instead of dictating to them what needs to get done, he rolls up his sleeves and shows them exactly how to do each chore, providing a safe space for them to try themselves and fail - and also crack a smile, or several. With this approach, he's taught them a range of life skills, from how to change a tire to weed-whacking the yard.

Experts Featured in This Article

Madeline Levine, PhD, is a psychologist, educator, and author of three books including "The Price of Privilege," which examines emotional problems in affluent teens.

"These simple things maybe parents don't expect their kids to know how to do, but I want to challenge [my kids]," Butterworth tells Popsugar. "I want them to be self-sufficient, I want them to know how to do all these things. Just telling them how to do it is not successful. Keeping it fun and light-hearted is what makes them pay attention."

Lately, there's been a wave of caregivers demonstrating similar parenting styles on social media. Logan Connell, @logancx.life, has his toddler help him feed the dog, clean the kitchen, and make dinner. Tiffany, of @freedomhavenfarm, creates what are certifiably the cutest videos on the Internet, featuring her toddler, Sophia, as she helps her bake, tend to their garden, and feed their chickens. Across a spectrum of ages, kids are learning to contribute to family needs in low-stakes settings that are gentle-parent-approved - kid-safe knives for chopping veggies, for example - but that demand more from them than the traditional gentle parenting that has become so popular with Gen X and millennial parents.

And parenting experts are pleased to see this shift.

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"The gentle parenting - things that have emphasized the kid's emotions, and have parents being extremely concerned with what children are thinking and feeling - that's for the most part good," psychologist Madeline Levine, PhD, tells Popsugar. "But there's a whole other part of childhood development that's been ignored."

The family is a child's first community, Levine says, and in a community, "you need to know how to do stuff." But in many households that deploy classic gentle parenting, children are expected to contribute very little, if anything, to the family community. When that attitude follows them into adulthood, it can lead to a crippling fear of failure, which further prevents them from learning to be self-sufficient. Throughout her 45-year practice in a wealthy part of the Bay Area, she's seen this pattern repeat itself countless times.

"A good chunk of my practice for the last 40 years has been a kid who didn't get into the college they wanted or the traveling team they wanted, and they're just destroyed," she says. "You have to fail in order to develop some resilience, hopefully not failing in terrible ways but in small increments that you can handle. That's the heart of resilience. To know that you can fail and it's not the end of the world."

Parents who take the time to intentionally teach their children how to do chores and help out around the house are building a kind of confidence that is stronger than whatever comes from telling their kids how great they are, according to Levine. "Research shows that [behavior] doesn't encourage competence, it encourages doing the same thing over and over again," she says. "If you want to encourage confidence, kids have to do stuff. And sometimes they'll fail at it, but if a kid is working with a parent, there's some soft guidance. If a kid puts bleach into the laundry, the parent can say it's wrong."

"Kids are capable of so much more than we think."

Of course, not all parents can devote the time for elaborate life-skills lessons. Levine herself is "well aware of the financial demands people are under now," and understands the fear that doing household chores with a young kid will ultimately just slow parents down. And when time is money, many parents feel they can't afford to lose it.

But ultimately, it's a matter of priorities - and being practical about what kids can handle. For instance, maybe don't expect your 3-year-old to mow the lawn. Instead, bring them out to the garden to help you weed.

"You may think 'it's easier to do it myself than to teach a kid,' and in its start-up phase, it's probably more time-consuming up front, but it pays dividends," Levine says. "As soon as a child is physically capable of taking a sponge and wiping off a table, I would encourage it. Kids are capable of so much more than we think."

Plus, working alongside your children is a bonding activity. "It's important to prioritize family and to find opportunities to spend time with kids, whether it's doing something good in the community or in the house," Levine says.

Butterworth, who has a military background, has adapted some of his army training into his parenting style. After each skill lesson that his kids complete, they receive a certificate and a handshake, like a mini military awards ceremony. The kids each keep an "I Love Me" book, or a binder where they log all their certificates so they can reference what they've accomplished, another bit of inspiration Butterworth took from the Army.

"When they turn 18 [I want them to] have a binder with all their certificates in it with all the lessons in them that they've learned from me and my wife," he says. "The more I can teach them in terms of life skills and common sense, the better."

With this method, Butterworth has managed to do the unthinkable: make chores enjoyable for his kids. Of course, there are some tasks they're not wild about, like shoveling horse poop. (The family of four lives on a farm.) But when they help out, it gives them "a sense of pride knowing that dad isn't out there doing everything himself." And every task that they tackle together brings them closer - something Butterworth values especially now, after years of working a night-shift job that prevented him from being present with his kids during their earliest stages of life. He missed a lot of bedtimes and early morning rises - the small, quiet moments that are so special to parents of little kids.

"It's not that I'm making up for that now," he says. "But if I can spend time with my kids in a positive way and teach them something, just being present, it's always a good use of my time."

Emma Glassman-Hughes (she/her) is the associate editor at PS Balance. In her seven years as a reporter, her beats have spanned the lifestyle spectrum; she's covered arts and culture for The Boston Globe, sex and relationships for Cosmopolitan, and food, climate, and farming for Ambrook Research.

How to Survive the "Sundown Scaries" as a New Parent

Taylor Andrews — Mon, 01 Dec 2025 06:00:03 -0800

If you're a parent, you may already be familiar with the emotional shift that can happen when the sun goes down. During the day, you might feel OK, but at night, the waves of anxiety can roll in: "Am I a bad parent?" "Am I doing this right?" "Is there something I could be doing better?"

As one new parent describes in a viral TikTok video, "I'm fine and happy all day, but once it hits 5 p.m. and gets dark, I just cry." It's the point in the day when you might feel most alone in your parenthood journey, spiraling over your new reality.

Though you may have never had a name for this feeling, "sundown scaries" is what many new parents are calling it on TikTok. And according to experts, it's a completely normal experience. But why do parents experience the sundown scaries? And is there any way to combat these feelings? Below, child psychologist Sandra L. Whitehouse, PhD, explains.

Experts Featured in This Article

Sandra L. Whitehouse, PhD, is the associate clinical director and a senior psychologist at the Child Mind Institute.

What Are the Sundown Scaries, and Why Do They Occur?

The sundown scaries is a term many people use to describe the increased anxiety or sadness that can set in when the sun goes down. Though it may happen most often to parents during the newborn stage, Dr. Whitehouse says that sundown scaries can happen across every developmental stage, from infancy to the teen years.

Though the sundown scaries can look different for every parent, the most common symptoms are heightened anxiety, homesickness, loneliness, and sadness. In the comment section of the aforementioned TikTok, one person said, "Homesick is the absolute best way to describe it! I told my husband it felt like I was at a sleepover, and I just want my dad to come pick me up and bring me home." Another commenter shared: "Three days postpartum, and I cry about everything. The thought of her never being this little again? Crying. Random times in the shower? Crying. It's truly a whirlwind of emotions."

As for why this happens: Dr. Whitehouse says you can thank evolution for feeling this way. "Nighttime and dusk was a dangerous time for our ancestors - this is when the predators came out, our ancestors couldn't see as well, and when they went to sleep, they were less able to monitor their environment," Dr. Whitehouse says. "Being anxious and hyperaware of their surroundings kept them alert for incoming threats and helped to keep them safe to survive."

"The sun setting is so triggering because you feel like everyone will sleep except you."

In other words, your body (and emotions) may be shifting into an evolutionary protection mode for your little ones. As one person mentioned in the TikTok comments, "The sun setting is so triggering because you feel like everyone will sleep except you. It gives you such anxiety."

It's also possible you're experiencing a behavioral shift. "In the evenings, our 'rational mind' starts to shut down, allowing our 'emotional mind' to be more active and less managed by logic," Dr. Whitehouse explains. This is why you might feel more worried or anxious about parenting issues at night versus during the day. "Everything will feel like the end of the world at night. When the sun comes up, you will realize you are OK," one person shared in the comment section of the TikTok video.

How to Combat the Sundown Scaries

First, understand that the sundown scaries are a normal experience. Recognizing your experience isn't rare can help ease the anxiety because you know you're not the only one to feel the way you do, Dr. Whitehouse says. Once you've acknowledged your feelings, she recommends incorporating a routine into your evenings that can provide structure.

In this routine, Dr. Whitehouse encourages you to build in some downtime. This can look however you want it to, but she suggests tending to your body and physical health: work out, listen to your favorite music artist, share some quality time with your partner, and try breathing exercises. "These practices tell our bodies that it's OK to relax and help to counter the natural ramp-up in anxiety that happens at night," Dr. Whitehouse explains.

Finding and fostering your community is also important, as parenthood can be a lonely experience. Reach out to your close friends, communicate your needs with your partner, and make friends with new parents by sharing the joys and challenges of parenthood, Dr. Whitehouse says.

If the feelings you experience during the sundown scaries begin to stretch into the daytime, you may be experiencing postpartum depression. According to Dr. Whitehouse, the difference between postpartum depression and the sundown scaries is that "PPD symptoms are more common throughout the day - not just happening around sundown." If you think you could have PPD or your sundown scaries begin to feel overwhelming, Dr. Whitehouse recommends consulting a primary care provider or medical professional.

Ultimately, parenthood can hit hardest after dark, so it's important to make space for your needs and lean on people who can keep those evening spirals in check. With the right tools and the right people by your side, nights can start to feel a lot less sundown scary-esque.

How "Type C" Became the Ultimate Cool Parenting Style

Taylor Andrews — Tue, 25 Nov 2025 06:00:03 -0800

You've likely heard of type A parents: they're the ones with color-coded family calendars and a strong stance against screen time. You've likely heard of type B parents, too: they might not enforce bedtime, and don't care whether their child has broccoli on their plate. But a new wave of parenting is on the rise that's a blend of both. Welcome to the world of type C parents.

First coined by Ashleigh Surratt on TikTok, the concept of a type C parent has been a trend all over parenting corners of the internet. One person commented on a viral TikTok from Surratt, "Finally one I relate to. So organized in the most nonsensical way." Another person commented, "I just discovered that I am a type C mom." So what is a type C parent, exactly?

Though the type C approach isn't necessarily a formal parenting style, it represents a balance many modern parents are trying to embrace. These parents might, for example, show up to a birthday party on time . . . but their kid might be missing a shoe. They might bribe their child with candy, but only if it has five ingredients or less.

Instead of following rigid routines or a parenting plan the people in a Facebook group recommended, type C parents tend to be more flexible and willing to embrace the chaos. The method certainly has some benefits. "This approach nurtures well-rounded, emotionally secure children and fosters a deeper parent-child connection built on trust, empathy, and mutual respect," adolescent mental health expert Caroline Fenkel, DSW, says.

Below, Dr. Fenkel explains more on what type C parenting looks like and how parents can incorporate it into their own household.

Experts Featured in This Article

Caroline Fenkel, DSW, LCSW, is an adolescent mental health expert and the chief clinical officer at Charlie Health, a treatment program for teens and adults struggling with their mental health.

What Is a Type C Parent?

"A type C parent embodies a balanced approach to parenting, sitting somewhere between the high-control tendencies of a type A parent and the laid-back nature of a type B parent," Dr. Fenkel says. This means that while they may be more strict about certain things, they may also be more lenient in other areas.

Of course, a type C parent can decide what this looks like, but most often, they tend to focus on "providing emotional support and nurturing resilience while setting clear boundaries and expectations," Dr. Fenkel explains. The approach has upsides for the children involved. "This style emphasizes the importance of structure and emotional connection, allowing children to feel secure and understood while encouraging independence," she adds.

Though a type C approach will look different for every parent, here are a few examples, according to Dr. Fenkel:

The parent is actively involved in their child's after-school activities or sports, but they don't micromanage.
The parent is present and empathetic when their child is frustrated, but they encourage their child to problem-solve themselves.
The parent maintains an open line of communication with their child, allowing them to express their feelings without fear of punishment or expectations of perfection.

Potential Benefits of Practicing a Type C Approach

If you have a type A parent or have seen one in action, you'll know the energy can be intense. Schedules are meticulously followed, good grades and extracurricular activities are often expected, and children may feel pressure to perform. While this can create structure in a child's life, it can sometimes lead to burnout and perfectionism.

Type B parenting, on the other hand, follows a very different path. Kids are encouraged to be kids, and there's typically less structure in these households. And while this can build independence, it can also be inconsistent for children and lead to uncertainty around expectations.

The type C approach is seen as the middle ground between these two approaches. "When children are given the space to express themselves within a framework of consistent expectations, they develop a stronger sense of self and a better ability to navigate emotional challenges," Dr. Fenkel says. "This balance helps them feel supported and capable, setting the stage for healthy relationships and personal growth," she adds.

How to Incorporate a Little Type C Parenting

Embracing a type C parenting style is easy, especially since it doesn't mean strictly adhering to one distinct philosophy. But according to Dr. Fenkel, it starts by "recognizing that resilience and emotional intelligence are as critical as academic or behavioral success" in a child's development.

In other words, by being structured and consistent but also empathetic and hands-off, you can set up your children for success. "As awareness of emotional intelligence and mental resilience has increased, so has the recognition that children thrive best in nurturing and structured environments," Dr. Fenkel adds.

Because as important as it is to complete a school project on time or to eat vegetables (even when they don't want to), it's just as important for children to feel safe being themselves and knowing their worth isn't measured against perfection. So while it's OK to lean into structure when necessary for your child, it's also OK to let them simply be just that - a child.

Taylor Andrews (she/her) is the balance editor at PS, specializing in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, travel, and more. With seven years of editorial experience, Taylor has a strong background in content creation and storytelling. Prior to joining PS in 2021, she worked at Cosmopolitan.

My Baby Tried Little Spoon’s Mango Purée - and Lost His Tiny Mind

Marisa Petrarca — Fri, 17 Oct 2025 11:45:02 -0700

Image Source: PS Photography | Marisa Petrarca

I know I'm not the only new mom who's looked forward to the day their baby could finally try solid food. It's something that made me smile long before he could actually do it - probably even something my husband and I talked about on our babymoon, months before he was born. Don't get me wrong, though; I've cherished every bottle, every snuggle, every sleepy milk-drunk smile that's come with breastfeeding, but watching my little one discover the joy of food felt like a major milestone. So when our pediatrician gave us the green light to start single-ingredient purees, I could hardly contain my excitement.

Around the same time, I discovered that Little Spoon - the organic baby food brand I'd been seeing all over my feed - had just launched at Target. Until now, it was only available through the brand's website, so its retail debut felt like perfect timing, especially for someone who uses Target's same-day delivery as often as I do. Ahead, I'm sharing my experience introducing Little Spoon's baby purees to my son - and how something as simple as mealtime brought us both a little more joy, a little more mess, and a lot of peace knowing exactly what's in his food.

About Little Spoon

Little Spoon is America's No. 1 online kids' food brand, and it's now available at Target stores nationwide.
The brand offers fresh, nutritious meals and snacks for babies, toddlers, and big kids made with real, clean ingredients.
Every product is free from synthetic preservatives, artificial flavors, sweeteners, or dyes, and all baby and toddler products are tested for 500 toxins and contaminants.
Products come ready to serve, making it easy to grab and go without fuss.

What I Like About Little Spoon

Buckle up, because there's a lot I love about Little Spoon. For starters, every product is made with real, simple ingredients - no preservatives, no artificial additives, and free of junk. As a cautious parent, I wanted to know what that actually means for the food I'm feeding my baby, and I was impressed to learn that all baby and toddler products are tested for over 500 toxins and contaminants. The brand also uses a process called high-pressure processing (HPP) - essentially cold pasteurization - to keep its Babyblends and Smoothies fresh without heat, which helps preserve nutrients and flavor. The result is food that's safe, nutritious, and honestly tastes like something I'd eat myself (and I definitely did). More on that in a second.

Second to safety is how much my baby loves it. I ordered several purees, and so far we've tried the banana, sweet potato, and Little Spoon Mango Babyblends ($3). Each one has been a hit, judging by the smiles, high-chair fist smacks, and eager open-mouth leans toward the spoon. The mango, in particular, earned the most enthusiasm. He kept grabbing the spoon with an excitement I hadn't seen before, which convinced me to try a bite, then another. My husband eventually had to remind me it was supposed to be our son's meal, not mine.

It's also exciting knowing that he can grow up with Little Spoon. The brand truly offers something for every stage, starting with single-ingredient Babyblends like the ones we tried, all the way up to multi-ingredient blends that sound better than my own breakfast some days. See: the Little Spoon Pear, Raspberry, Date, Coconut Cream, Quinoa + Vanilla Babyblend ($3). Once we graduate from purees, we'll move on to early finger foods, and eventually, when life gets busy and we need a quick, balanced option, Little Spoon's toddler and kid meal plates - the modern, healthier version of the Lunchables I used to beg my mom for - will be waiting for us. I foresee myself stealing a bite of the Little Spoon Mac and Three Cheese ($6), made more nutritious with hidden butternut squash (genius).

Lastly, I love what the brand stands for. The fall campaign, Built for This, is described as "a celebration of the messy, magical, and unpredictable reality of parenting," and I couldn't agree more. I don't care how corny that sounds; watching my little one in a moment of pure joy, covered in mango purée from head to toe, is pure bliss. Little Spoon gets it, from understanding the needs of busy parents to delivering on what matters most for their smallest customers.

Image Source: PS Photography | Marisa Petrarca

What to Consider About Little Spoon

I think the most important thing to consider about Little Spoon is that it isn't a must for every family. If you already love making your own purees and your little one's thriving on them, it probably makes more sense to save your money and invest it elsewhere. But for parents looking for convenience without compromising on quality, it's a solid solution. As a mom who works from home and has to cut corners in certain areas to save time, it's been a win for me - one less thing on my to-do list, and my baby genuinely loves them.

One more thing to note is that not all of Little Spoon's products are available at Target - at least, not yet. Right now, you can find the Little Spoon Organic Oatmeal Baby & Infant Cereal ($6) and the Little Spoon Organic Kale Apple Curl Baby Puffs ($5), along with pantry snacks, frozen meals like the Little Spoon Super Chicken Dippers Frozen Kids' Food ($10) and refrigerated items such as smoothies and Little Spoon YoGos ($3) in stores. The purees my son and I are obsessed with are still available exclusively through the brand's website for now. The benefit of shopping at Target, though, is that you can buy Little Spoon items à la carte, something you can't do through the brand's website, which operates on a subscription model.

Where Is Little Spoon Available?

Little Spoon products are available direct-to-consumer through the brand's website and at Target stores nationwide.

Marisa Petrarca (she/her) is a contributing editor for PS Shopping and has over seven years of experience writing and editing beauty, fashion, and lifestyle content. She was previously the senior beauty editor at Grazia USA and the style and beauty editor at Us Weekly. Now freelancing, her work has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Allure, Marie Claire, and more.

I'm a New Mom and This Manual Breast Pump Is a Godsend

Alexis Felder — Wed, 01 Oct 2025 12:10:02 -0700

Image Source: PS Photography / Alexis Felder

When I got pregnant, one of the most exciting but also intimidating things I thought about was breastfeeding and pumping. Beyond the bonding experience, I knew how important it was for health reasons, especially since I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Breastmilk can help lower the risk of both my baby and I developing Type 2 diabetes later in life, which made it even more essential for me to be all in. Still, if you've ever scrolled through breastfeeding content on TikTok, you know just how overwhelming it can be. Between the endless tips, tricks, and passionate opinions and debates on production, schedules, and pumps, I honestly didn't know where to start.

One thing I did know? I was going to be an on-the-go mom. While electric pumps are amazing, I need mobility. I want something that can move with me around the house, running errands, or on vacations - especially since I have to stay on a two-hour schedule for now. That's what led me to the Willow Wave Wearable Manual Breast Pump ($35).

Keep scrolling for my honest thoughts on the pump so far.

What I Like About the Willow Wave Manual Pump

The biggest draw for me is that the pump is portable. It doesn't require charging and it's light enough to toss into my purse or diaper bag, or I can keep it in the car for emergencies. It's perfect for regular pumping sessions but it's also a lifesaver when you need relief from engorgement. The travel case (which is included) makes it easy to take anywhere.

Performance-wise, this pump doesn't hold back. It's hospital-grade with two-phase suction (stimulation and expression) and an ergonomic handle that doesn't wear my hand out. The 24mm soft silicone flange makes it comfortable to use and helps with milk flow, which is great for those with sensitivities and helps prevent pain.

Another standout feature for me is discretion. I've always been private about breastfeeding so the fact that this pump fits inside my nursing bra is huge. Unlike other manual pumps that require lifting your shirt, this one lets me keep my shirt completely down while still giving me access to the handle.

Finally, like many baby products these days, the Willow Wave comes with an app, which I love. I'm constantly researching or looking up tips, and the Willow app gives me access to feeding support. And if you have any of their other pumps, you can use it to adjust suction levels, track your milk volume, and more.

Image Source: PS Photography / Alexis Felder

Is the Willow Wave Manual Pump Easy to Use?

Collecting milk is a breeze. The easy-pour spout keeps spills down, so I don't waste a single drop (which we know is a huge deal). You can use it in the car or anywhere without any issues.

Cleaning is another area where this pump shines. As a first-time mom, the thought of scrubbing endless baby items was overwhelming, but this pump is dishwasher-safe. You can just pop it on the top rack. This is where your partner can step in to help with breast pumping.

What to Consider About the Willow Wave Manual Pump

While a portable breast pump is great for my lifestyle, others may prefer an automatic, hands-free option. The highly-rated Willow 360 Wearable Breast Pump would work better in that case, or you can opt for the portable Willow Go® Wearable Breast Pump instead.

Image Source: PS Photography / Alexis Felder

Final Thoughts on the Willow Wave Manual Pump

If you're a mom who values mobility, privacy, and convenience, the Willow Wave Wearable Manual Breast Pump is worth considering. The price point is great, it's portable and powerful, and it's designed for moms on the move. It's been a game-changer in making pumping feel a little less overwhelming.

Where Is the Willow Wave Manual Pump Available?

The Willow Wave Manual Pump is available on the brand's website.

Rating:

Alexis Felder, widely known as LexiWithTheCurls, is a geriatric millennial and lifestyle influencer based in Atlanta. A trailblazing beauty blogger turned freelance writer, Alexis has contributed to publications such as The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Ebony, Essence, MadameNoire, and more. As an avid traveler, she enjoys exploring new destinations and sharing her adventures with her audience.

I Tried KiwiCo With My Kids and It Turned STEAM Into Family Fun

Angela Elias — Tue, 02 Sep 2025 09:35:02 -0700

Image Source: PS Photography | Angela Elias

Shrinking my 6- and 9-year-olds' window of screen time has been a trial-by-fire process. Tears have definitely been shed - my own included - but I've found that fostering boredom at home is less painful when there's a baseline of offerings. While our library card has earned every cent of our household's tax dollars and our bin of Halloween costumes makes for some pretty inventive play scenarios between the two kids, I've been wanting to throw in a wild card that engages them in a different way.

I'd heard about KiwiCo - a monthly subscription service that delivers "super fun, hands-on projects" that come in the form of boxes, or "crates" as the brand refers to them - but had never tried them for my kids. With a budding artist who dabbles in STEAM (science, technology, engineering, arts, and mathematics) and a history buff who devours nonfiction, I thought the KiwiCo Kiwi Crate ($24) and the KiwiCo Atlas Crate ($24) would be worth trying.

What's the Criteria For a Good STEAM Subscription Service For Kids?

When testing out this subscription service, I wanted to get a feel for how much independent play it actually fostered, since both boxes were created for my kids' exact age group. I also wanted to gauge whether my children were genuinely enthusiastic about the boxes. Would they be excited enough to get started without my prompting them? Or would I have to be the one ultimately doing everything while encouraging them to join? I also considered the amount of shelf life each project got. In other words, after building the project, would they continue to engage with it?

What I Like About KiwiCo Crates Subscription Service

It turns out that the activities and projects you create are a genuine good time for kids and adults. Our first Kiwi Crate was the archery set, which I built with my 6-year-old. As you can imagine, it was a huge hit. We were delighted with ourselves when we saw that the bow we built functioned seamlessly. Instead of arrows, it comes with balls wrapped in Velcro (phew!), and its accompanying felt board is double-sided. We switched back and forth between playing for points and feeding the googly-eyed monster by shooting into its mouth, which my 6-year-old loved. The thoughtful details that come with the crates - like the handy archery tips, archer glossary, and cut-out prize ribbons that celebrate milestones such as making your first bull's-eye or pulling off an impressive trick shot - make the whole experience feel extra special. True story: once the kids went down, my husband and I shook up a martini and had an archery showdown. I may have won.

Image Source: PS Photography | Angela Elias

Our first Atlas Crate, a geography and culture-focused box, had a Netherlands theme and couldn't have been more charming. It came with a huge letter the boys could unwrap that revealed oversize, hole-punched cards that contained a beautiful map, fascinating stats, and even a crossword-inspired game to review everything they learned. The crate also included a Van Gogh-inspired yarn art project, a recipe card for Speculaas cookies (which we're definitely making!), a DIY windmill, and instructions for traditional Koningsdag games. This crate had a lot to unpack between the reading materials, cooking and gaming experiences, and the building and art projects. Unlike the archery set, which we had created in about 15 minutes and immediately began playing with, this one was a slower burn. I spearheaded the reading portion, which ended up being a nice change of pace for evening story time, and the boys took the lead with the art and building projects.

Image Source: PS Photography | Angela Elias

What to Consider Before Trying KiwiCo Crates Subscription Service

If you're like me, your first question might be whether these crates can be done without you getting involved. The honest (albeit annoying) answer is, it depends. Even though both the Kiwi Crate and the Atlas Crate are created to accommodate kids ages 6 and up, I definitely needed to jump in with my 6-year-old. He started off wanting me to be hands off, but then got stuck several times and needed my help. One thing I didn't realize until after both kits were done is that you can scan the QR code in each crate and watch a step-by-step video of how to build the project. While this may not have entirely let me off the hook, it might have given him a little more independence. My 9-year-old is a less detail-oriented kid and has a lower frustration threshold, so I think personality type matters just as much as age.

Image Source: PS Photography | Angela Elias

Who Is KiwiCo Crates Subscription Service Best For?

These crates are great for kids who like to create things with their hands and for parents who want to engage their kids in quiet, focused play. The nice thing is that they have a $30 monthly "pay as you go" subscription option that doesn't require you to subscribe for an entire year. It's a nice way to test out some of the crates to see which one really sparks your child's interest. After trying a couple of crates, I'm also planning on buying some of the items in their shop as birthday gifts since they seem to appeal to so many types of kids.

Additional Details

The subscription crates are grouped by interests and ages, which span from babyhood to adulthood.
The crates mainly focus on science, art, and engineering projects, but some branch out to include geography and culture as well as design and crafts.
After you receive your crate, you can access bonus online content by scanning the included QR code.
You can even shop for projects à la carte, which make really unique gifts, and members save 10 percent.
Subscriptions start at $24, but right now, you can get 20 percent off sitewide with a minimum purchase of $49 using the code LABORDAY.

Where Is KiwiCo Crates Subscription Service Available?

The KiwiCo Crates are available to shop directly from KiwiCo's website.

Rating:

Angela Elias (she/her) (she/her) is a contributing editor for PS Shopping, where she reviews everything from beauty products to kitchen gadgets, curates can't-miss sales, and creates "best of" shopping roundups. In her former roles at PS, she led the relaunch of its Latine identity and family-focused verticals, directed its Home vertical, and hosted shopping segments. She has nearly 15 years of experience working in the lifestyle space as a writer, editor, content strategist, director, on-camera talent, and publicist.

Solo Parenting vs. Single Parenting: What's the Difference?

Emma Glassman-Hughes — Tue, 12 Aug 2025 13:50:03 -0700

Throughout most of modern history, the script for parenthood has been pretty straightforward: get married, bear children, raise children, take a cruise to Aruba, die. But today's child-rearers have more options than ever before, ranging from different parenting styles and partnerships to IVF and adoption. Our view of people who choose not to raise children with a partner has also shifted dramatically, and we've seen a rise in solo and single parenting since the 1970s to prove it.

In 1984, March 21 was designated National Single Parents Day, to "recognize the courage and dedication" of single parents. Marriage rates overall dropped nearly 20 percent between 1970 and 2021, according to a report from the Center for American Progress. That same organization also reported that in 2023, one in five US households with children under 18 were run by single mothers. While there are many factors that contribute to these trends, including the increasing financial independence of women, one thing is clear: for a big chunk of Americans, partnered parenting isn't the only way to go.

Still, there's not a lot of information about the meaning of single parenting vs. solo parenting, or what it really looks like to raise kids fully on your own. They may sound pretty much identical, but solo parenting and single parenting are different endeavors with different challenges and expectations that can impact parents - and kids - in distinctly different ways.

Here, we break down the difference between solo and single parenting and some important considerations for both.

What Is Solo Parenting?

Solo parenting can look different depending on the situation, but typically it means that one of the parents is out of the picture - on either a permanent or temporary basis - for significant stretches of time. Whether that parent is gone on extended work trips, deployed overseas in the military, or has died, the at-home parent often identifies as a "solo" parent rather than a "single" parent because there's still a partner in the picture, even if their existence is more spiritual.

But some solo parents, like writer Fiona Grinwald, believe single parenting becomes solo parenting only when there's no other parent around, even part-time. Grinwald was widowed when her children were 6 years old and wrote about the transition to solo parenting in a 2017 HuffPost essay.

"Solo parenting - whether by choice or by design or by just damn bad luck ― is something altogether different [than single parenting]," she wrote. "I don't get every second weekend 'off' . . . It's just me. Some days I actually find myself wishing I had someone to fight with over a particularly difficult decision, rather than having to contemplate all angles on my own."

While there isn't a complete consensus about what qualifies as single versus solo parenting - it's more of a feeling than a hard social category - it's typically accepted that solo parents assume complete responsibility for the family, usually for reasons out of their control, while single parents may still split that responsibility with another partner.

Solo Parenting vs. Single Parenting

Many single parents share custody of their children with another person, whether that's an ex or a partner who doesn't live with them. A solo parent, however, does not typically have that resource. A solo parent is the sole caregiver all the time, leading some solo parents to feel insulted by what they deem the misappropriation of the term in certain contexts - like playfully claiming to be a solo parent when your spouse takes a short trip, works long hours, or only does the "fun parent" tasks.

On the subreddit r/workingmoms, for example, one person recently posted that someone becomes a solo parent "when the other parent of their child has abandoned said child or passed away/been incarcerated. Solo parents have many struggles that don't apply to even single parents and have a very hard time finding understanding and advice for their specific situation."

Calling yourself a solo parent in the wrong context "diminishes and invalidates what solo parents actually deal with and go through," that person said, adding that "solo parenting is only a term that was made necessary because of the huge difference there is between the lives of solo parents and single parents."

The Challenges of Solo Parenting

Single parents face regular discrimination at work, in housing, and from financial institutions, according to the policy group Single Parents Rights, which reported 80 percent of surveyed single parents have experienced some form of discrimination. Since the 1970s, single mothers, particularly women of color, have had to contend with the stereotype of the promiscuous "welfare queen" who wants to take advantage of social services. And while it's certainly more culturally acceptable to raise children on your own today than it was 40 or 50 years ago, it remains difficult for many reasons.

For one, couples privilege is real, especially when it comes to taxes and finances. Married couples get significant tax breaks and typically have lower tax rates. The IRS has a "qualifying widow(er)" status that widows and widowers with dependent children can select when filing taxes for two years after their spouse's death, which can be helpful, but financially supporting children on your own can still be overwhelming.

Also, holding the full emotional, financial, and physical responsibility of child-rearing on your shoulders is a massive undertaking. Many solo parents didn't expect to be on their own when they decided to have children, and often didn't start out alone, making the transition from shared parenthood to solo parenthood especially challenging.

Even partnered parents who can regularly lean on their significant others for support are still facing a mental health crisis. The American Psychiatric Association recently reported that one third of parents overall consistently experience "high levels of stress" compared to just 20 percent of the rest of the population. On top of that stress, Mental Health America says single parents in particular are likely to experience feelings of loneliness, especially around making decisions alone.

But a life without a significant other doesn't have to mean a life without community. It's crucial for solo and single parents both to surround themselves with adults they can trust, according to Mental Health America - people they can ask for help and validation. To build up a network, MHA recommends joining the PTA at your child's school, striking up a conversation with other parents at the playground, or researching some single parent support groups.

"Ignore the voice in your head that says people are too busy or don't want to hear from you," MHA writes. "No one expects you to know all the answers, especially on your own."

10 Items Every New Mom Should Have, According to "Pregnant Pause" Podcast Host Danielle Cadet

Deena Campbell — Mon, 11 Aug 2025 12:05:02 -0700

The Expert Edit features interviews with specialists about the products they swear by in their chosen field. For the latest installment, we spoke to "Pregnant Pause" podcast host Danielle Cadet about her top product recommendations for new moms.

Danielle Cadet is a first‑generation Haitian American media powerhouse: a Northwestern grad turned editorial mastermind, who served as Editorial Director at Netflix's Strong Black Lead before becoming Executive Editor and Vice President of Content at "Essence," and now founder of the "Pregnant Pause" podcast. But amid those high-profile titles, one role shines brightest in her own life: that of mom.

"Motherhood has made me an all‑around better person," she tells Popsugar. "I love more fully now that I'm a mom. I feel more deeply. I see more clearly." It wasn't always a foregone conclusion: at one point, her accelerating career made family feel out of reach. "I wanted to be a mom in theory - in the way we're told one day you'll grow up and become a mom," she explains. "Dating was a challenge, and I couldn't control motherhood the way I could control my professional trajectory."

Then came a shift. She met her husband. "I knew he would truly be my partner, not just in bringing that life to fruition, but in maintaining it." Her first child arrived during the pandemic, at a juncture when she was simultaneously stepping into a demanding role at a major tech company. The resulting solitude led her to search for podcasts by and for Black moms, and when she couldn't find them, she launched her own.

"I don't ever want any Black woman to feel alone in her motherhood journey," she shares. "I hope any woman searching for a community finds ours and joins it." And when it comes to navigating that journey (diaper blowouts, airport meltdowns, late-night feeding sessions), Cadet has a few go-to tools that make life just a little easier. Below, she shares the 10 products that help her stay grounded - and sane - as a mom of two young girls.

Hailey Bieber’s Favorite Breast Pump Is on Sale For Less Than $200

Naomi Parris — Wed, 06 Aug 2025 06:00:10 -0700

Hailey Bieber has long graduated from just being Stephen Baldwin's daughter turned fashion model who's graced every major magazine cover. With just a little over a decade in the industry, the 28-year-old has cemented herself as one of our generation's most influential stars, from her bestselling beauty brand Rhode to her sartorial taste that sends new trends into the stratosphere (hello, bandage dresses and polka dot capris). Apart from the glitz and glamour of being an industry it girl, Bieber most recently entered her most meaningful era yet - parenthood with husband, Justin. This month will mark a year of being mother to Jack and to commemorate the occasion, Bieber took to her Instagram story to share the items she swore by during pregnancy and postpartum. And of course, we curated the breakdown just for you (especially the pregnant and new moms).

"Since my son is almost a year, I wanted to finally share all my favorite pregnancy and post baby things that I loved and couldn't live without and some I still use to this day," she wrote on the first slide before starting a series of IG stories posts. We all loved seeing her baby bump, which she kept super smooth and glowy thanks to these surprisingly affordable products: the Bumpology Bump Butter ($30), Glow Organics Pure and Organic Belly Butter ($25), Trilastin Stretch Mark Cream ($58), Naturium The Glow Getter Whipped Multi-Oil Body Butter ($20), and the Bio-Oil Natural Skincare Oil ($22). The Rhode Glazing Milk ($32) and Rhode Peptide Lip Treatment ($18) are also mainstays in her skin-care routine.

As for what she used post-pregnancy, Bieber wasn't afraid to go all out, using everything from investment gadgets to dietary supplements. She used the Earth Mama Organic Nipple Butter ($14, originally $17), Silverette Original Nursing Cups ($60) for nursing, the Syntic Liter Glass Milk Bottles ($27, originally $33) for storing milk overflow, and the Momcozy All-in-one M5 Wearable Breast Pump ($200) - you can also get the M5 Bra Bundle ($166, originally $230) at 20 percent off in honor of World Breastfeeding Week, just use code WBW2025. When changing baby Jack, she often gravitated to the Weleda Baby Calendula Diaper Cream ($10, originally $14) and Coterie Baby Wipes and Diaper Kit ($190). She also keeps the Vita Coco Pure Coconut Water ($2), BodyArmor Fruit Punch ($3), and Trace Minerals ConcenTrace Mineral Drops ($36) on hand to ensure both her and the baby stay nourished.

Naturally, Bieber isn't shy to give a look, so her maternity fashion finds were equal parts chic and practical - even while lounging in her son's nursery or around the house. Some of her favorites include the Skims Cotton Jersey Boy Short ($22) and Nursing Sculpting Bra ($22, originally $44), the Aloha Collection Day Palms Holo Holo Tote ($64), the Bombas Everyday Compression Sock 3-Pack ($90), and the Bumpsuit Cloud Slim Pant ($145), Bumpsuit Velcro Waist Trainer ($89), and Bumpsuit x Lauryn Bosstick Armadillo Baby Carrier ($275).

Naomi Parris is an assistant shopping editor at Popsugar, based in New York. With over eight years of experience and previous roles held on the brand's Beauty and Operations teams, she enjoys telling stories that merge fashion, beauty, and Black culture. Naomi has also lent her skillful pen to Essence Girls United, Elle, Bustle, and Elite Daily. When she's not crafting shopping roundups, high-profile features, beauty op-eds, or trend guides, you can find Naomi behind her blog "Eli-Nay," where she inspires readers through style guides, cultural pieces, and innovative content on her Instagram.

Why Everyone Wants a Playdate With the "Pinterest Parent"

Taylor Andrews — Mon, 21 Jul 2025 14:25:02 -0700

These days, it's easy to aspire to be the "Pinterest parent." The parenting style raises children with aesthetics and perfectionism in mind, and with its handmade party favors, color-coordinated chore charts, and lunch boxes packed with nutritious (but always crustless) sandwiches, it's often thought of as the gold standard of parenting.

Not as relaxed as type C parents but not nearly as traditional as tradwives, Pinterest parents make raising children look fun, easy, and, yet somehow, effortless. "They're the ones who plan ahead, who find joy in crafting family traditions, and who use creativity to build connection," adolescent mental health expert Caroline Fenkel, DSW, says.

But just because Pinterest parents seem to have it all together on the surface doesn't mean they actually do. Despite appearances, Pinterest parents likely go through the same struggles as any other parent. Below, Dr. Fenkel explains more on what it means to be a Pinterest parent, and why you don't have to be good at crafts or baking in order to be considered a good one.

Experts Featured in This Article

Caroline Fenkel, DSW, LCSW, is an adolescent mental health expert and the chief clinical officer at Charlie Health, a treatment program for teens and adults struggling with their mental health.

What Is a Pinterest Parent?

Like a Pinterest board, a Pinterest parent works to have their life perfectly curated. "It's someone who seems to have all the details of parenting perfectly planned - creative lunch boxes, themed birthday parties, chore charts that double as artwork," Dr. Fenkel says. But it's less about Pinterest itself and more about having a "polished, curated approach to parenting," she adds.

For example, Pinterest parents tend to be organized, creative, and thoughtful. When they spend time with their children, they like to be present in a way that's fulfilling but also stimulating (think: less screen time, more crafts). "They tend to express love through structure and presentation, whether that's a color-coded calendar or a handmade costume," Dr. Fenkel says.

Of course, there are a lot of benefits to being a Pinterest parent. "Kids thrive when they know what to expect," Dr. Fenkel says. "Whether it's a consistent bedtime routine or a special Saturday morning ritual, those small anchors help build emotional regulation."

And while children may not appreciate the perfect snack tray or DIY sandbox you created, it's the feeling of showing up consistently that is so beneficial, Dr. Fenkel says.

Is Pinterest Parenting the Best Parenting Style?

There's no right or wrong way to parent. What works for one parent may not work for you, and that's OK. "Whether you're a planner, a go-with-the-flow type, or somewhere in between, what matters most is that your child feels safe, loved, and understood," Dr. Fenkel says.

If you're a parent who thrives off of organization and structure, Pinterest parenting may be easy for you. But this type of parenting style is not for everyone, and if it doesn't work for you, that doesn't make you a bad parent. "Parenting is already a full-time emotional job, and not everyone has the time, energy, or resources to add extra flair," Dr. Fenkel says. For this reason, she says the goal with your kids should be to think more about being present than perfect.

"Some of the most effective parenting happens in the small, unglamorous moments, like offering a hug after a hard day, listening without judgment, or holding a limit even when it's hard," Dr. Fenkel says. "Those things don't show up on Pinterest, but they matter so much more."

Whether you do or don't identify with being a Pinterest parent, rest assured that your child likely won't remember if their birthday cake was homemade. Instead, they will remember how you made them feel. "Parenting doesn't need to be picture-perfect," Dr. Fenkel says. "It just needs to be consistent and genuine."

Taylor Andrews (she/her) is the balance editor at Popsugar, specializing in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, travel, and more. With seven years of editorial experience, Taylor has a strong background in content creation and storytelling. Prior to joining PS in 2021, she worked at Cosmopolitan.

The Summer's Hottest Parenting Hack? Boredom

Jennifer Heimlich — Mon, 21 Jul 2025 05:45:02 -0700

Every afternoon between 3 and 5 p.m., Ashleigh Surratt's three kids have nothing to do. Sure, there are some boundaries, like "no jumping off random things" and "hurting each other is not OK." But otherwise, it's entirely up to the kids, all under the age of 4, to figure out for themselves how to fill the time.

"The first two weeks I started this, it was terrible," Surratt tells Popsugar. "There were a lot of tears, and I got really overstimulated really quickly. But now I find that their best play comes maybe about 10 minutes after we start 'boredom hour.'"

Surratt isn't the only one intentionally giving her kids time to get bored this summer. Whether they call it "kid rotting" or letting children have a "wild summer," more parents are talking about simplifying summertime by skipping camp and other back-to-back activities in favor of allowing kids to just . . . chill. And experts are here for it.

"In the 30-year span of my career, unstructured time has decreased into almost nonexistence," says child psychologist Sandra L. Whitehouse, PhD. "Kids go from school to after-school sports or activities, and then into summer day programs or sleepaway camps."

You can blame it on the pressure today's parents face to shape their kids into competitive college applicants, or perhaps the pervasive, social media–driven mom guilt over any uncomfortable lulls in the day. "As a parent, we think that's our problem to solve. Maybe unconsciously, we think it's a barometer for whether or not we're a good parent," says clinical psychologist Becky Kennedy, PhD.

But by always giving kids so much stimulation, its absence can feel especially extreme, so they inadvertently may be quicker to feel - and whine about being - bored, Dr. Kennedy says. "It's also a reason why boredom is so important," she adds. Many children have grown used to getting a consistent dopamine hit from all the activities adults have organized for them. Learning to get by without that is actually super healthy.

Experts Featured in This Article

Sandra L. Whitehouse, PhD, is the associate clinical director and a senior psychologist at the Child Mind Institute.

Becky Kennedy, PhD, is the founder of the online parenting service Good Inside.

"Boredom might be exactly the reset their brain needs," Dr. Kennedy says. "If we can hold space for it (instead of rushing in to fill it), kids start to stretch new muscles: frustration tolerance, creativity, problem-solving. These are the building blocks of resilience." Having unstructured time also allows kids to build skills like experiencing their world on their own, feeling their feelings, and organically connecting with peers - traits that are essential to success as a child, teen, or adult, Dr. Whitehouse adds.

"Boredom might be exactly the reset their brain needs."

Surratt says that, at first, she thought her toddlers were too little to handle two hours of deciding what to do all on their own. "All my 1-year-old wants to do when she's bored is dump out the cereal box," she says. "But I then realized, she is finding her own way of play. I'm watching her pick up, squish the cereal, play with the different textures. She's sitting there for far longer than she would have had I given her a crinkle book on a nice blanket." When Surratt stopped trying to always curate fun for her toddlers, it unlocked new parts of their imaginations, and they started to play games she never could have thought up herself, she says.

The many benefits of downtime became especially obvious to Dr. Whitehouse during the lockdown stage of the pandemic when she saw a surge of usually overscheduled teenagers get admitted to the acute inpatient psychiatric hospital where she was working. "They simply didn't know what to do with themselves, didn't have a sense of their identities beyond being overachievers," she says. "They hadn't yet developed age-appropriate emotional awareness or coping strategies because they were too busy to experience their emotions, let alone learn to cope with them."

But let's be honest: de-escalating summer activities doesn't only benefit kids. It also takes pressure off parents to serve as their children's de facto "cruise director" throughout July and August. "Signing up for less means a lighter mental load for me," says Stephanie Seferian, a podcaster and mom of two girls, ages 8 and 11. Summer camps and activities can be ridiculously competitive to get into, with stiff fees, stressful logistics, and sometimes busy back-and-forth commutes. By embracing a more old-school, you-do-you approach to summer, Seferian feels she herself is able to slow down (and be a better, less overwhelmed mom).

The bonus of this is twofold. Obviously, parents get a little breathing room. But Dr. Whitehouse also points out that seeing adults be comfortable with their own free time helps kids feel more equipped to handle it themselves. Similarly, when parents don't jump in to solve their kids' boredom, it sends a message: there's nothing wrong with being bored. "Kids can only learn to tolerate feelings we tolerate in them," Dr. Kennedy says. "By tolerating boredom yourself, your child will learn to as well."

Of course, not every family is able to let their kids get bored: if both parents work outside the home, for example, and there's no grandma's house nearby where the kids can go, they often have no choice but to enroll everyone in supervised activities over the summer.

Also, not all kids can handle boredom the same way. For some neurodivergent kids or those with anxiety or mood disorders, it's not just uncomfortable - it can be downright triggering. "Boredom is not just 'I don't know what to do.' It's 'I feel untethered and overwhelmed,'" Dr. Kennedy says.

Meanwhile, children with a high need for stimulation might find not-so-great ways to entertain themselves, Dr. Whitehouse warns. They'll act up just to create some excitement, knowing that if they damage things or break rules, they'll get some of the attention they're craving. "Parents may worry they can't leave these children alone for a second or Armageddon occurs," she says.

Even among families who can let their kids go a bit more feral, the practice isn't without its challenges. Surratts admits that things can end up broken in her house by 5 p.m. Other days, she's left to clean up a giant mess. "Sometimes I feel like the cost was not really worth it," she says.

Another pitfall? As much as adults might imagine nostalgic summer days spent taking bike rides to the park and ice cream parlor, many kids today are all too happy to fill every hour of their free time on their phone or the family iPad. "Screen time defeats the purpose," Dr. Whitehead says. "It's a distraction."

That's why psychologists and parents alike say it's helpful to give downtime some scaffolding, particularly for kids who struggle with it: schedule the free time intentionally ("When a child expects boredom, they're less likely to interpret it as a problem," Dr. Kennedy says); suggest an activity or two at the beginning so they have some healthy ideas to start with; and set clear limits around how much - and what kind of - screen time is allowed.

Then again, maybe we don't need to overthink it. Boredom doesn't have to be another thing that parents carefully manage in order to optimize their children's lives. Maybe downtime is just that: a way to give kids (and parents) a break during summer vacation.

"Children don't always have to be striving for something," Seferian says. "They can just be."

The New Ways Parents Are Memory-Keeping

Jennifer Heimlich — Tue, 24 Jun 2025 10:45:10 -0700

Given how many photos parents take of their kids, you might assume their shelves would be overflowing with baby books. But that's not usually the case. "Honestly, I don't have time to do the baby book," says Sarah Steward, a mom of two in Cambridge, MA. "It is just so much effort, and it feels really final because you can't edit it."

Since we no longer need to physically print out photos just to see them, taking that extra step (and then organizing them inside a book alongside handwritten captions) often feels like one chore too many - especially at a time when so many parents are already so stressed out that the Surgeon General issued a warning about it.

But that doesn't mean today's parents aren't keeping memories of their kids. They're just leveraging newer technology that makes things easier.

"I'm a little obsessive about preserving the small memories that I can already tell are lost day-to-day," says McKenzie Graham Willits, a mother of two in Cincinnati. She's one of many millennial and Gen Z parents PS spoke with who are turning to multiple avenues for memory-keeping - most of which weren't available to our parents' generation. Here are some of today's most popular options.

The New Ways Parents Are Memory-Keeping

Video Compilations

As fun as it is to look back at old camcorder footage from the '80s and '90s, those home videos can be a bit unwieldy (read: long and often boring). These days, parents are more likely to turn to apps like 1 Second Everyday, or 1SE, to create a highlight reel.

Graham Willits, for instance, says she uses a paid version of 1SE to string together slightly longer clips of a few seconds each. "I like to pick and choose which are the most indicative of their personalities in that moment," she says. "And I do a video for each of our family vacations." Other parents create a year-end compilation for every birthday, with daily memories packed into a video that ends up amounting to only six minutes.

Voice Memos

Photos and videos aren't the only things our phones can record. Some parents, like Samantha Stahl of Burlingame, CA, use voice memos to capture all those darn things their kids say. "Things like learning to count, the way they sounded as a little person or said things their own way ('handgabur!'), funny conversations and songs, the way they sound gaming with friends, showing off at a school band/choir concert," Stahl says of the kinds of clips she likes to record.

She came up with the idea when her older neighbors talked about wishing they could have "bottled up the noise" of their sons when they were still little. She finds it a major benefit that she can record surreptitiously to capture a realistic slice of life. "Because as soon as you get the camera out, they're at the stage where it's no longer spontaneous," she says.

Time Capsule Emails

Some people rolled their eyes at Meghan Markle earlier this year when she admitted to sending her kids near-daily emails before they're even old enough to read, but it's something many of today's parents do (though maybe not with the same frequency). The idea is that by creating an email account now, parents can share memories that their kids will be able to access in the future.

Rebecca Santiago, a mom of three in Camden, ME, says she likes to write emails to her daughters on special occasions, like the night before their birthday, for instance, or whenever they're in a particularly cute phase. She'll include quotes of things they've said, a photo or two, and sometimes thoughts on what it's like parenting them.

"It's also fun because then I have it in my sent folder so I can look back through stuff if I care to, like a digital baby book," she says, adding that she plans to give each child access when they're around 10 or 12 years old.

Photo-Keeping Apps

With cameras essentially attached to us 24/7, the cell phone photo libraries of today's parents can become majorly overwhelming. It's no surprise then that there are several apps available that make it easier to feature the best shots in a separate place.

MiniMemories, for instance, lets users text a daily photo and caption to a dedicated number. The number will then send back a text every morning with a photo from the past, in addition to letting users search the database. "[We] can see what was happening with him on this day five years ago, and that just sparks other memories," says Steward, who uses the app regularly.

Other apps, like Qeepsake and The Short Years, allow users to turn favorites into, yes, a physical baby book if desired.

Social Media Profiles

Some parents set up separate social media accounts (often set to private) for their kids, sharing them with close friends and family members. "I used the accounts as a pregnancy journal," Graham Willits says of the profiles she created for each of her daughters. When each was born, she uploaded a post that recounted their birth story, then posted every month throughout the first year. "And now every year, I come back and post a year-end summary with a few pictures and videos," she says.

Other parents simply upload favorite photos and videos throughout the year, using the child's account as a regularly-updated album that's easy to share with exactly who they want to see it on a platform that many are already checking daily.

Cloud-Based Photo Albums

Not every parent feels comfortable leaving their kids' memories in the hands of a social media company that technically owns the images and could disappear at any time. As a result, many choose to upload their images to a password-protected online photo album hosted by Google or Amazon, or to a free app like FamilyAlbum or Tinybeans.

"It brings peace of mind that all of the photos are on the Cloud, so if a computer or phone dies, everything is already backed up," says Santiago, who pays for space for three Google albums for her three girls. She and her husband both have Google Pixel phones, so their pictures and videos are automatically uploaded to Google Photos. She just takes time once a month to pick out her faves and caption them. (Pro tip: the Santiagos also upload pics of their kids' artwork so they don't need to keep physical copies.)

Santiago particularly likes that friends and family who have the link can add comments or even upload their own images when they visit, too. "It's a pretty easy way to keep the grandparents involved, especially when they live far away," she says. Plus, she links the home TV's screensaver to the albums so that favorite memories are constantly popping up - no digging out a baby book required.

The Case for Becoming a "Cool Basement Parent"

Taylor Andrews — Wed, 18 Jun 2025 05:05:02 -0700

When you become a parent, it can feel almost inevitable that you somehow simultaneously lose all sense of how to be cool. One minute, you think you're up to date on the newest TikTok trend . . . the next, you're looking up why your teen keeps saying "6-7." But if you one day notice your home has become the unofficial headquarters for your children and their friends to hang out, you may have just earned yourself the title of "cool basement parent."

The cool basement parent is someone who creates an environment for their children (and their children's friends) to hang out - yes, sometimes in a basement, but also in whatever communal space is available. And in this case, the term is less about parents actually being with their kids, and more about providing the pizza rolls, comfy couches, working WiFi, or newest game consoles - in addition to a safe and comfortable environment.

Popularized in a thread on the r/Parenting subreddit, the term gained traction when one user shared how becoming the cool basement parent changed their life in ways they never expected. "Yes, our grocery bill is insane, and sometimes the noise gives me a headache, but I know where my kids are and who they're with," the user said. "The most amazing part? These teens actually talk to us with real conversations about their lives, dreams, and worries. That alone is worth all the noise and extra pizza I've bought."

Below, adolescent mental health expert Caroline Fenkel, DSW, adds more on why being a cool basement parent could be beneficial for both you and your children.

Experts Featured in This Article

Caroline Fenkel, DSW, LCSW, is an adolescent mental health expert and the chief clinical officer at Charlie Health, a treatment program for teens and adults struggling with their mental health.

What Is a Cool Basement Parent?

"A cool basement parent is someone who creates a home environment where kids feel comfortable hanging out and bringing their friends," Dr. Fenkel says. More often than not, these parents may embrace the recently trending type C approach: cool basement parents might not manage their kids as closely a type A parent, but they're also not as laid-back as a type B parent.

Instead, the cool basement parent gives kids the space to be independent while also establishing boundaries and rules. "These parents aren't trying to be their kids' best friends," Dr. Fenkel adds. "They're trying to create safety, structure, and connection."

The Benefits of Being a Cool Basement Parent

If you have a hard time keeping a dinner table conversation going with your kids, becoming a cool basement parent can help you see your child's world up close. "You get to observe how they interact with friends, how they handle conflict, and how they behave when they feel safe," Dr. Fenkel says.

"This is a mindset, not a floor plan."

Plus, being a cool basement parent can build trust between you and your children. "When a teen knows they can be themselves at home, it strengthens your relationship and gives them a sense of security that extends into other areas of their life," Dr. Fenkel adds.

Perhaps most importantly, being a cool basement parent is great for your children to build emotional resilience. "Having a home environment that's calm, supportive, and open gives teens a place to explore their identity without fear of judgment," Dr. Fenkel says. "It helps them build confidence, regulate emotions, and feel a sense of belonging."

How to Become a Cool Basement Parent

Similar to how you don't need a kitchen table in order to raise a kitchen table family, you don't need a literal basement to become a cool basement parent. "This is a mindset, not a floor plan," Dr. Fenkel says. All you need is a space where your children have privacy but can still be within your reach should something happen or they need anything.

Once you've figured out a space for your children, Dr. Fenkel says becoming a cool basement parent starts with making small, consistent choices. Have some snacks available, learn the names of your kids' friends, and give them space without altogether disappearing. "Let your child know that their friends are welcome and that you're available but not overbearing," Dr. Fenkel says. "That balance is where the magic happens."

When it comes to becoming a cool basement parent, it isn't about wanting to be labeled as "cool" according to your kids' standards. Instead, it's about creating the kind of home they want to come back to. So even though creating an inviting space for your children and their friends may make your basement smell like burnt pizza rolls, it may be worth the smell. At the most, you'll build a stronger relationship with your children. At the very least, you may come to find out what "6-7" actually means.

Lululemon’s Viral New Parent Backpack Is $59 Off Right Now - and It’s Selling Fast

Haley Lyndes — Thu, 12 Jun 2025 14:03:01 -0700

Image Source: Lululemon

There are a bunch of baby items new parents don't actually need (think: wipe warmers, bottle sterilizers, maybe even a changing table - yeah, really). But one thing you do need? A good diaper bag. Because when you're out with a newborn, you're carrying everything - bottles, diapers, wipes, snacks - it adds up fast.

So what makes a diaper bag . . . good? First, it needs to look cute, because we're not living in the '80s anymore. It also has to be practical enough to handle all the chaos and make you feel like you've got your life together. That's where Lululemon's New Parent Backpack ($139, originally $198) comes in. It's a viral hit, editor-approved, and has a sleek, gender-neutral design with pockets that actually make sense. Oh, and it's on rare sale in the lavender shade - because why not pick it up for almost $60 off?

What Is the Lululemon New Parent Backpack?

Image Source: Lululemon

This backpack is designed to keep parents - both new and seasoned - as prepared as possible. That means pockets on pockets on pockets . . . on pockets. 11 total, to be exact. From zip compartments to hidden stash spots to exterior bottle holders, this bag has a place for everything - creams, toys, binkies, you name it - and keeps them all safe, organized, and easy to reach.

The side pockets are roomy enough for larger water bottles or baby bottles, and it also comes with padded shoulder straps, a separate pouch that can be worn as a crossbody bag, and a removable changing mat - all made with water-repellent materials. Even if you're not a parent, this backpack works just as well for gym sessions, work trips, and weekend getaways. Bottom line: it's built to keep up with real life, whatever that looks like for you.

Why Our Editors Love Lululemon's New Parent Backpack

Image Source: Lululemon

"I'm hardly exaggerating when I say I've tested what feels like every diaper bag on the market since becoming a parent, and this one stands out for several reasons, starting with its features. It has a ton of space for the usual chaotic lineup (diapers, wipes, snacks for you, a change of clothes, and then some). But what really impressed me is that it comes with a removable pouch you can wear as a crossbody and a portable changing pad. That's clutch for moments when you don't feel like hauling the whole bag but still need the essentials on hand. Bonus points: my husband actually likes the way it looks, thanks to the sleek black design. The only drawback, in my opinion, is that it doesn't have an insulated compartment for bottles." - Marisa Petrarca, contributing editor, Shopping

What Reviewers Say About Lululemon's New Parent Backpack

Image Source: Lululemon

"I wish I had purchased this as soon as we had our baby! We bought a cheap one at first, but this bag is on another level. It has so much room, feels sturdy on your back, and the straps don't slip. We even keep the LifeVac at the bottom (first-time parent here), and there's still plenty of space for diapers, clothes, wipes - and more. I love the hidden pocket at the top and all the side compartments inside the bag that help keep everything organized. It's so easy for travel and clips right onto the stroller. I can't say enough good things about this bag! I know it's not cheap, but if you have the option to get it, I highly recommend!" - anonymous

"This bag has been great so far - easy to wipe clean, more storage than you'd expect, and the side pockets even hold Nalgenes (I was worried they'd be too small). There are tons of pockets, and it's really comfortable to wear. I do agree with other reviewers - I wish they'd offer more color options instead of releasing three pink shades in a row. I got the Solar Grey and actually like it more in person than I thought I would!" - erincatherine

"Love this bag. It has so much room inside and is super lightweight." - lindseyc

Haley Lyndes is a shopping writer and editor with more than seven years of experience in the publishing space. Specializing in home and lifestyle, she covers everything from furniture and mattresses to beauty products and fitness gear. Previously, she was an SEO commerce writer for Apartment Therapy and The Kitchn. Her writing has appeared in Buzzfeed, Travel & Leisure, and Real Simple. When she's not reviewing her latest home finds or interviewing celebrities, you'll likely find her out for a run - she's also a marathoner.

Adrienne Bailon Is on a Mission to Debunk Latina Fertility Myths

Johanna Ferreira — Tue, 10 Jun 2025 07:00:02 -0700

Image Source: Photo by Gilbert Flores/Variety via Getty Images

Before Adrienne Bailon began her challenging fertility journey, she had few concerns about conceiving with her husband, Israel Houghton - a confidence she attributes to the fertility myths she grew up hearing as a Latina.

"People literally would tell me, 'Girl, you have caderas (hips). Somebody looks at you [and] you'll get pregnant," Bailon tells PS. But since welcoming her now 2-year-old son, Ever James, via surrogate, the actress and singer has been refreshingly transparent about the challenges she faced while trying to get pregnant. It's all in hopes of not only normalizing these conversations within the community, but also educating others while they still have options.

"My mother and my sister did not have the same journey that I had, so there was so much shame [and] so much denial. There was also a period of just feeling like, well, if everyone else was fine, did I do something wrong? Did I wait too long? Is this a punishment?" she says. "There were so many different emotions that I went through during the six years of wanting to become a mother, so I feel like for me, the greatest thing I could do is normalize the conversation, especially for us Latinas who never have these conversations."

Growing up, Bailon never heard conversations about women using surrogates to carry their babies. And while it's become more common among celebrities like Kim and Khloé Kardashian and Paris Hilton, it's still rare to hear about Latinas choosing that path, which is why it felt so jarring for Bailon to even bring it up with her Puerto Rican mom.

In a previous interview, Bailon recalled how emotional she became after telling her mom that surrogacy might be her only option. Her mother's initial reaction - not rooted in malice - was, "Why would you want someone else to carry your baby?" Although her mom and sister became her biggest supporters throughout her fertility and surrogacy journey, the experience highlighted just how important it is to educate Latinas and Latine families about infertility and the damaging fertility myths that still persist in our communities.

"It's so harmful on a societal level. Stereotypes like those in general are just not okay," Bailon says. "Those ideas could actually stop you from possibly remedying a situation that could be fixable because you can be in denial and think, 'There's nothing wrong with me.'"

Bailon admits she spent a long time in denial about her own fertility issues and her ability to carry a pregnancy to term. It wasn't until she suffered a miscarriage at five months, after implanting one of her last remaining embryos, that she began seriously considering surrogacy.

"I think having these conversations is super important because hopefully people can get help sooner," she says. "The less you are in denial, the sooner you can get help."

Another challenge Bailon hadn't anticipated was how she'd feed her baby, since she wouldn't be able to breastfeed. For the first year, she gave him donated breast milk. When it was time to transition him to cow or other milk, however, she was reluctant because she thought breast milk was the healthiest option. Her mom stepped in.

"My mom is my best friend," Bailon shares. "And my mom, of course, was like, 'Nena, you already know he needs toddler milk.'"

The toddler milk Bailon's mom fed her as a child - Nido - is the same one Bailon now gives to Ever. So when the brand reached out for a partnership, the former "Cheetah Girls" star was all in.

"We transitioned to that, and there were so many things that I loved about it, [like] the fact that gut health has always been super important to me; that was one of my first conversations with the pediatrician. I was like, 'What can I do to ensure that he has great gut health?'" she shares. "They recommended possibly looking into probiotics, so I love the fact that this covers that as well for us. I love that it has all these nutrients for his brain development and so much more. And ultimately, it's been really great and convenient as a mom to have this in multiple ways. We travel nonstop. I love the fact that it isn't a liquid. It's a powder. We can take this through TSA with no problem."

Image Source: Nido

Bailon is the first to admit that her fertility journey was not cheap - it's something many Latinas can't access or afford. As a result, in addition to normalizing conversations around fertility, egg freezing, IVF, and surrogacy, she also wants to make these treatments and resources more accessible for women in her community.

"All the things that I was able to do are because I have money . . . For me, it was important to provide resources, provide information, and share my story in detail," she says. "I did an entire YouTube series with my foundation, Faith and Familia, where I shared literally every detail of every test I got done - every procedure that I had done in this process."

Faith and Familia, which launched this year, is a place where women can find resources and information, as well as funding for families that want to go through fertility treatments but cannot afford them.

"It's important because the reality is if I wasn't who I am and I wasn't making the money that I make, this just wouldn't be realistic," she adds. "And almost all of my girlfriends, they wouldn't be able to afford [any of] it either. It's very rare, and so I am well aware of that."

Besides raising her son and helping others with fertility, Bailon has her hands full. In addition to running her fashion and accessories brand, La Voûte, she starred in the Off Broadway production "Take the Lead" at New Jersey's Paper Mill Playhouse this past April. On May 9, she released a Spanish gospel album, "Coritos Vol. 1," in collaboration with her husband, Israel Houghton, as well as Unified Sound, Nate Diaz, Aaron Moses, and Lucia Parker. It's clear Bailon is in a season where she's manifesting it all - from motherhood to music and everything in between. And she wants people to know the road to where she's at today, at 41, wasn't easy - but it was well worth it. She hopes her story reminds fans that it's possible to pursue their career dreams and build a family too.

"[You] just can't stop. [When] one door closes, you just keep pushing through, and I hope that I'm raising my son that same way," she says. "If you have a heart for something or you're passionate about it, just keep going after it. Hard work and determination definitely pay off."

Johanna Ferreira is the content director for PS Juntos. With more than 10 years of experience, Johanna focuses on how intersectional identities are a central part of Latine culture. Previously, she spent close to three years as the deputy editor at HipLatina, and she has freelanced for numerous outlets including Refinery29, Oprah magazine, Allure, InStyle, and Well+Good. She has also moderated and spoken on numerous panels on Latine identity.

"Baby Shower Blues" Were the Pregnancy Side Effect I Didn't Expect

Kelsey Garcia — Mon, 02 Jun 2025 05:10:02 -0700

The 18-inch balloons were too big after all. It was the morning of my baby shower and the car was moderately packed with flowers, drinks, and sandwich boxes when my husband approached with these comically large balloons in shades of pastel green, blue, and pink. The day prior, Rob had texted me from the Dollar King to confirm the balloons would be fine, since they're bigger than average, and I wrote, "Oh! OK! Should be fine."

It wasn't fine, but we managed to wrestle nearly all nine balloons into the backseat and even the trunk. (One flew away and one quickly lost its helium.) With every turn, the entire car squeaked as the latex rubbed together. Rob caught a photo of me with one of the pink balloons on my lap, competing with my baby bump. It's a sweet photo, and I'm smiling in it, but in the moment, I wanted to cry.

The truth is, I had baby shower blues. I had been struggling leading up to the celebration, and I was trying to shake those emotions as best I could as we made the 20-minute drive to my friend's house in Angelino Heights, where the shower would be taking place. When we arrived, another balloon popped on the metal fencing as we brought them into the backyard.

It didn't start out that way: when we first began planning the shower a few months prior, I was appropriately excited, enthusiastic even. Since we live in Los Angeles and far from family, I assumed we'd plan it ourselves and keep the event intimate, with just local friends in attendance; more of a sprinkle, if you will. We'd have sandwich platters, play one game, and eat my favorite strawberry cake. Simple.

At some point, however, and I'm not sure why, I decided to do a cursory search on baby shower etiquette and whether it's common for expecting couples to host one themselves. Reddit quickly informed me it is, in fact, quite gauche. Oh dear.

But there was no time to pivot, of course. I didn't want to hand off the responsibility and ask a family member to plan from afar. Plus, I'm the first in my group of friends to have a baby, meaning no one else was really even sure what a shower entails. And so, even though I knew the reasons why it was more practical to do it ourselves, from that point on, I fended off feelings of embarrassment and self-pity.

Admittedly, our timing also wasn't great: we had chosen Mother's Day as the date for the shower, thinking it would be fitting and cute - a wink to my forthcoming role. In reality, that meant several friends wouldn't be able to make it because, well, they had to spend the day with their own mothers, understandably.

You know how some people dread their birthday and always end up crying over the gifts, cake, and added attention? Well, I never quite understood that. I love my birthday! But for some reason, with my shower, I understood, and all the gifts, cake, and attention suddenly felt overwhelming.

I've tried to reflect on why.

At play here are, of course, all the pregnancy hormones running amok. These days, I start crying if the wind looks at me the wrong way. While I hate to live up to the stereotype and therefore avoid blaming much of anything on fluctuating hormones, it's a factor that's hard to ignore.

As the day approached, I also found myself really missing my family. I could rationalize it up and down and wholly understand why it just wasn't realistic or feasible or possible - with the distance being what it is - but that didn't change the longing. I wished they could be there, is all. (Before you begin to feel bad for me, I should note that many family members will travel to be here for the baby's actual birth, which is far and away more significant.)

But there was another big why. As much as the shower was a celebration of a new chapter, it also signified the end of another. I am so excited to become a mom and embrace all the ways it will radically inform, affirm, and change my life, but I liked my old life, too, and I think a part of me was grieving that one.

Though these feelings were all bubbling beneath the surface, I will say that it was a pretty great day. Friends mingled, ate, and suggested baby names - some more serious than others. (Safe to say we will not be going with "Chicken.") It was simple, as planned, but I was glad we did it, and I would have likely regretted not doing it at all.

In one of my favorite photos from the shower, Rob is cutting the cake as eager friends stand around. One of our oldest friends is standing between us, after joking about how they were our first child. Everyone's laughing and I look so happy - and I was, despite it all.

When we came home, Rob and I immediately began putting things back into place. We stowed away decor until the next party, tablecloths were thrown in the hamper, gifts were unboxed and organized, and after recapping the day over dinner, we enjoyed another slice of strawberry cake in comfortable silence, and it was perfect.

Kelsey Garcia (she/her) is the associate content director of PS Balance, where she oversees lifestyle coverage, from relationships to parenting to financial wellness. Kelsey is passionate about travel, dating trends, and changes in the workplace. Before joining the PS team as an editorial assistant in 2015, she interned at Elle and Harper's Bazaar, among other publications.

Dads, It's Not Babysitting If It's Your Own Kid

Dr. Kate Balestrieri — Mon, 12 May 2025 06:00:02 -0700

When a man refers to caring for his own children as "babysitting," it reveals a troubling mindset: childcare is mother's work, and any involvement from the dad is optional. This phenomenon - where men frame caring for their own children as a favor rather than a responsibility - is a symptom of deeper inequities in emotional and domestic labor.

These imbalances don't just strain relationships: they can also take a toll on mothers' physical and mental health, identity, and sense of self-worth.

In the media, motherhood is often portrayed as a wondrous, joyful, fulfilling journey, and at times it absolutely is. However, motherhood can also be filled with unexpected tolls: invisible labor, unmet expectations, and simmering rage. All too often, many mothers are gravely disappointed to discover that they are expected to be the default parent.

The "Babysitter" Mentality: A Symptom of Gendered Parenting

When a partner refers to watching the kids as "babysitting," it minimizes the roles fathers play and perpetuates the idea that mothers are the default caregivers. Cue the chorus of men and, yes, even some women, shouting, "It's not that deep!" Except it is.

This language is not just flippant semantics. It's a reflection of deeply entrenched gender role expectations that determine who is responsible for the emotional and domestic labor in a household and who gets to benefit from it.

According to research, women are still expected to perform the majority of childcare and housework, even in dual-income households. A study by Bianchi et al. (2012) found that mothers spend significantly more time on caregiving and household tasks than fathers, even when both partners work full-time.

This imbalance is often invisible to men, whose insulation from mental and physical labor may leave them unaware of how much actually goes into managing a household and raising children.

The Disappointment of Unequal Partnerships

Many modern women enter relationships and parenthood expecting an equal partner, only to find themselves ruefully disappointed when their partner doesn't step up how they hoped. This disappointment isn't just about parity in who changes diapers or does the dishes; it's a disappointment in realizing they are unseen, unsupported, and undervalued.

When you're the only parent who knows the pediatrician's number, who keeps track of extracurricular activity schedules, and who soothes nighttime fears, it's easy to feel like you're parenting alone.

Especially when left unaddressed, this dynamic can lead to resentment and emotional distance in relationships and make the woman feel like a parent to her partner, which can lead to a drop off in desire. As Darcy Lockman writes in "All the Rage: Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership," many mothers feel a profound sense of betrayal when they realize how unevenly the burdens of caretaking are distributed. This betrayal isn't just about disparities in labor, it's about what it represents - namely the broken promise of partnership.

The If you've ever felt a surge of anger while folding laundry at midnight or packing yet another school lunch, know that you're not alone. Maternal rage is a common – though often unspoken - experience, due to societal pressure to label motherhood as a joyful sacrifice. This rage is a response to the relentless demands of emotional and domestic labor, compounded by a lack of recognition and support.

Even when you're surrounded by family, the emotional weight of being the default parent can feel desolate. Research by Rizzo et al. (2013) found that mothers who shoulder the majority of childcare responsibilities are at a higher risk of experiencing loneliness and depression.

Maternal isolation is exacerbated by cultural expectations that mothers should be endlessly patient, selfless, and nurturing, only caring for themselves after everyone else is taken care of. Such expectations leave little room for expressing anger or seeking help.

The Challenges of Truly Equal Co-Parenting

Achieving truly equal co-parenting can be more difficult than it sounds. Even when both partners are committed to sharing responsibilities, societal norms and workplace structures often get in the way. For example, women are more likely to take on flexible or part-time work to accommodate childcare needs, which can reinforce the idea that they are the primary caregivers. Meanwhile, men may face workplace stigma for taking parental leave or prioritizing family over career.

These structural barriers are compounded by ingrained gender roles. Even when men want to be more involved in parenting, they often lack the skills, initiative, or confidence to take on caregiving tasks, or they hide behind strategic incompetence. This can lead to a cycle where women, feeling overwhelmed, step in to "fix" things, further entrenching the imbalance.

The physical and emotional burden of caretaking disproportionately falls on women. Emotional labor, the invisible work of managing family dynamics and anticipating needs, is overwhelmingly shouldered by mothers. This includes everything from remembering birthdays to mediating sibling conflicts, integrating extended family dynamics, and planning family vacations.

Anger as a Catalyst For Change

When we acknowledge and express our rage at the inequities we face, we challenge the systems and norms that perpetuate them. We can turn our anger into action at the personal and societal level. Here's how:

Talk to your partner about how responsibilities are divided. Use specific, granular, examples to illustrate the emotional and domestic labor you're carrying for your family. Be prepared for defensiveness but remain unwavering in your expectation for a more equitable divide. Frameworks like Fair Play by Eve Rodsky can be a good start to help facilitate these discussions.
Learn to exercise your "no." You don't have to be the default parent for every school event, doctor's appointment, or playdate. Instead, encourage your partner to take ownership of these tasks. The idea that mothers should be selfless martyrs is old, tired, and not realistic.
Practice self-care. It is okay to prioritize yourself and your own needs and aspirations. Your relationship with yourself is the relationship you will have your whole life, and staying connected to your authenticity is an integral part of being human. It makes you a better parent and partner too, not that you should do it for others.
Support policies that promote gender equity, like paid parental leave, affordable childcare, and flexible work arrangements.
Speak up in social settings. Pressure for mothers is often reinforced through internalized misogyny and fear of social consequences. Staying quiet perpetuates these patterns. Whether or not they will admit, it's very likely that other moms feel the way you do too. Speaking out about how you feel creates a climate where other women feel safer to do so.

Caring for your own children isn't babysitting, it's parenting. And until we challenge the gendered norms that frame childcare primarily as women's work, mothers will continue to bear the brunt of emotional and domestic labor. This isn't just a personal issue, it's a societal one, especially in a political climate actively trying to wind back the progress made toward a more equitable society.

By having honest conversations, setting boundaries, and advocating for change, mothers can harness their collective power and move toward a future where parenting is truly a shared responsibility. So the next time your partner says he's "babysitting," gently remind him that it's not babysitting if it's your kid. And then hand him the diaper bag, walk out the door, and take some well-deserved time for yourself. You've earned it.

Kate Balestrieri, PsyD, is a licensed psychologist, a certified sex therapist, the founder of Modern Intimacy, and What Happened to My Sex Life? A Sex Therapist's Guide to Reclaiming Lost Desire, Connection, and Pleasure. Passionate about sex positivity, pleasure equity, and healing from trauma, she hosts the "Get Naked With Dr. Kate" podcast, which helps people live an empowered sexual and relational life.

The Problem With "Ego Parenting"

Taylor Andrews — Wed, 23 Apr 2025 07:10:02 -0700

When you're young, it's easy to assume your parents know everything. They set bedtime, soothe your sore throats, and make sure you're never late to soccer practice. But as you get older, you may start to see them not just as parents, but as people - people who also make mistakes, overreact, and let their emotions get the best of them. When parents struggle to acknowledge these human moments, that's when "ego parenting" can creep in.

Though it's not a formal parenting style, ego parenting is something that can show up when parents feel challenged or like they have to maintain power over their children in every situation. It can look like refusing to back down in an argument, needing to be right or "win" every power struggle, or avoiding apologizing in an attempt to keep control.

Unlike "gentle parenting" or "permissive parenting," ego parenting isn't always intentional. In many cases, many may not even realize they're doing it. But for children, it can have a lasting effect. Here's how to recognize the signs and what to do about it if you notice yourself falling into the patterns.

Experts Featured in This Article

Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, is an anxiety, trauma, and attachment therapist based in Los Angeles.

Caroline Fenkel, DSW, LCSW, is an adolescent mental health expert and the chief clinical officer at Charlie Health, a mental health treatment program for teens and adults.

What Is Ego Parenting?

"Ego parenting is when a parent is parenting from their own need to feel good, right, in control, or validated," mental health therapist Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, says. "It's less about supporting the child's growth and more about protecting the parent's image or feelings."

Adolescent mental health expert Caroline Fenkel, DSW, adds that ego parenting can occur when a parent is more concerned with their image than their child's actual needs. For example, a parent might push their child into playing a sport or doing an activity that the child isn't interested in - maybe because the parent wanted to be great at the sport when they were younger, or perhaps because not participating in the activity or sport would reflect poorly on the family.

Though ego parenting can look different for every family, here are a couple of common examples:

If a child gets a bad grade, instead of working with them to understand what's going on at school, a parent might be more concerned about how it will reflect poorly on them.
If a child feels overcome with emotion, a parent may not acknowledge it or tell them to stop being dramatic because they are uncomfortable with the emotion themselves.
If a parent raises their voice or overreacts in a situation with their child, they may avoid apologizing in an attempt to maintain authority.

The Problem With Ego Parenting

When children are raised by ego parenting, it can have a lasting effect on their confidence. "They often internalize the belief that love is conditional - that they're only worthy when they perform, behave, or feel a certain way," Dr. Fenkel says. Over time, this can lead to anxiety, perfectionism, low self-esteem, and a fear of making mistakes, she says. Groskopf adds that even in her own practice, she has seen adult clients who still believe that they're only lovable when they're perfect or convenient.

Unfortunately, even if ego parenting isn't intentional, it can come from a generational cycle. "Most of us parent the way we were parented, or we fall into patterns we never intended to repeat," Dr. Fenkel says. But if you want to move toward healthier parenting habits, you have some options.

How to Avoid Ego Parenting

Avoiding ego parenting starts with recognizing the behavior. "When you catch yourself reacting from ego, try to pause and ask, 'Is this about my child's needs or my own discomfort?'" Dr. Fenkel says. "Self-awareness is the entry point to change."

"You don't have to be a perfect parent to be a healing one."

Once you've acknowledged this is something you want to work on, Groskopf encourages you to get curious about your child's behavior - not defensive. This means instead of prioritizing your own needs, try to understand what would be best for your child by asking them, listening to them, and making decisions that are best for them.

Then, learn the power behind apologizing. "When a parent admits they were wrong, it gives a child permission to be imperfect, too," Dr. Fenkel says. "It shows them that relationships can bend without breaking, that repair is possible, and that accountability is a strength."

So, the next time you overreact, make a mistake, or say something that you shouldn't have, know that apologizing is more productive than not. "Saying something like, 'I shouldn't have spoken to you that way, and I'm sorry,' builds emotional safety and models exactly the kind of resilience we want our kids to develop," Dr. Fenkel says. "You don't have to be a perfect parent to be a healing one."

At the end of the day, the goal is that your children feel safe and supported. "Parenting isn't about getting it right all the time - it's about staying connected, even when things are messy," Dr. Fenkel says. Fortunately, when you start acknowledging your own mistakes and vulnerabilities, you can then create space for your child to do the same.