Whether you're familiar with the term or not, a "VIP friend" might be your favorite person in the friend group. The opposite of a bonus friend [1] in every imaginable way, a VIP friend is the first person in the group chat [2] to get an invite. As a social butterfly, a VIP friend loves to make their presence known. When they walk into a room, they either already know everyone or they can be found making their rounds and exchanging numbers with strangers in the bathroom.
In other words, VIP friends are the people who thrive in any social setting, no matter if it's in a bar or during an intimate cookbook club [3]. But it's not in a disingenuous way, either: They keep the energy up, make folks feel included and welcome in any setting, and can somehow ease the awkwardness of a silent or empty room.
A VIP friend isn't just great company, though — they're a social safety net. Even if they may not be the person you want to lounge around with like a couch friend [4], their presence makes every event more fun and vibrant. "A 'VIP friend' is the heart and soul of every gathering," friendship expert Shari Leid tells PS.
Experts Featured in This Article
Shari Leid [5] is a friendship expert and life coach at An Imperfectly Perfect Life.
What Is a VIP Friend?
A VIP friend is like the final boss of extroverts. "They are the central figure everyone gravitates toward, and the dynamic force that draws and binds the group together," Leid says. Without the VIP friend around, it may seem like the vibes feel off in the group or the conversation doesn't flow as naturally.
Although VIP friends show up in different ways in every friendship, here are some common characteristics:
- They are the best plus-one. If you're nervous about going to an event by yourself, a VIP friend is likely the first person to offer to go with you. Why? Because they've likely already mastered the art of small talk [6].
- They love to hype you up. Whether it's as simple as complimenting your outfit or introducing you to eligible singles they recently met at the bar, VIP friends are the best at showing you off and making sure people recognize how incredible you are.
- They are the first to arrive. Not only does the VIP friend get the invite, but if it's your own event, you'll probably ask them to arrive even earlier than the start time, too. Yes, this is so they can help set up, but also so that they can manage the awkwardness as the first few guests arrive.
- They know how to navigate almost any social situation. Whether you need help escaping a bad date, handling an awkward conversation, or messaging someone you met online, they always have the solution (and dating app openers [7] at the ready).
Outside of your one-on-one friendship with a VIP friend, they often act as the heartbeat of big groups. "With them, every experience is amplified, every moment feels a bit brighter, and quite simply, they make life feel good," Leid adds.
Why Having a VIP Friend Is the Best
Everyone wants a VIP friend in their life. "Life just seems better with 'VIP friends' around because they bring fun into the everyday, turning even the mundane into something memorable," Leid says. "Plus, they help craft those unforgettable moments that you'll look back on with a smile."
Even if you're not feeling up for a big party or event, VIP friends can make even the simplest moments feel like a good time. Because to them, it's not about what they're doing it's about cultivating relationships with the people they're with.
That said, VIP friends tend to give off main character energy, which can make you feel a bit overshadowed in social settings. It's also not uncommon to feel slightly jealous or insecure about how effortlessly they make new friends or how naturally people gravitate toward them. According to Leid, it's natural to feel like this, but reminding yourself that their light doesn't take away from your own is important and can help reframe these feelings.
Ultimately, a VIP friend is someone who simply makes your life better — not in a way that drains you, but in a way that forces you out of your comfort zone. Though it may take time to meet a VIP friend, once you find one, you'll wonder how you ever survived life (or any social event) without them.
Taylor Andrews [9] (she/her) is the balance editor at PS, specializing in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, travel, and more. With seven years of editorial experience, Taylor has a strong background in content creation and storytelling. Prior to joining PS in 2021, she worked at Cosmopolitan.