POPSUGAR Self Care

We Should All Be Calling Our Friends More - Doctor's Orders

Alexis Berger — Fri, 01 May 2026 12:30:02 -0700

It's a Sunday night and you're on the couch binging Netflix while simultaneously texting your group chat of longtime friends. You catch up on your respective weekends, share recent work wins and coworker complaints, discuss what you had for dinner, discuss relatable relationship gripes. You're "talking" . . . right?

It's not uncommon to rely on texting as a means of regular conversation. It's efficient, you can do it while doing a million other things simultaneously, and it's just, well, easy. Not to mention that texting doesn't require the daunting task of syncing schedules and finding a time when both people can actually talk.

But here's the thing: phone calls are far more likely to support warmth and connection than written messages. And considering that we're in the midst of a loneliness epidemic, as former Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, MD, pointed out in 2023, that's something we could all use. In his "parting prescription for America," Dr. Murthy warned of the negative effects of loneliness, including heart disease, dementia, depression, and more.

Point being, it's a good time to up the ante on the personal connection front. One low-lift way to do so? Calling a friend rather than texting. Phone calls are incredibly helpful ways to feel more connected, creating a sense of intimacy, explains psychologist Yasmine Saad, PhD. Here, experts break down the value of picking up the phone, the best use cases for texting (there definitely are some), and how to approach dialing when you're feeling reluctant to do so.

Experts Featured in This Article:

Irina Firstein, LCSW, is a therapist in New York City.

Yasmine Saad, PhD, is a psychologist and the founder of Madison Park Psychological Services in New York City.

The Case for Making Phone Calls

Calling is simply more personal and informative than texting, says Irina Firstein, LCSW, a therapist in New York City. "It's a much richer way to understand another's internal experience," she explains. When you're reading a text message, you're less likely to understand any nuance in the information being shared. Reading promotes an interpretation of someone's experience, rather than hearing what they're actually communicating.

Consider reading a book versus watching a movie. Your brain takes certain creative liberties when you read. (There's a reason why discussion-based book clubs are so popular; it's very easy to have various takeaways from written stories.) Hearing someone's voice on the phone - plus the tone, intonation, and emotion that comes with it - leaves less room for interpretation. A voice provides an emotional picture, while a text is limited and one-dimensional. It's just not as clear as a person telling you about their experience, Firstein points out.

And while it may seem like you need to allocate a huge chunk of time for any kind of meaningful chat, Dr. Saad says that's not necessarily the case. Even a quickie convo can help you feel more connected. "It's not so much about the length of a phone call, but the content of the phone call," she says. "Connection can happen within a minute if it's the right content."

There's a Time and Place for Texting

There's no need to villainize texting or ration texts sparingly the way we did when each one cost 10 cents back in the early aughts. "Texting is an appropriate way to make plans, change plans, or just say a quick hello," says Firstein. "It's simply more efficient."

Practicality aside, texting can also help create connection in certain scenarios for highly feeling people, says Dr. Saad. "Texting creates a distance and removes you a little bit," she says. "If you're someone who has a tendency to tune in to the negative, texting may help you connect. It can moderate anxiety and fears." For those who cling to perceived judgment from others, the built-in emotional distance of texting acts like a safety net.

Still, she offers the caveat that feeling disconnected in general can be a sign to re-engage and push yourself to connect via phone call. Check in with yourself: If you're feeling like you do need some space and might benefit from some distance, send the text. But if you're craving deeper connection, something as simple as calling the friend whom you would otherwise text can make all the difference.

4 Tips for Integrating Meaningful Phone Calls Into Your Life

Tell Yourself Beforehand "It Will Be Imperfect"

Many people stress that a phone conversation will be awkward, they won't know what to say, or that it will just be bad. To help lower the stakes, Dr. Saad suggests anticipating all of these potential scenarios. That way, if there's an awkward blip, it'll be easier for you to brush it off and not make it the entire takeaway of the conversation. Even if the call doesn't go as planned or is a little uncomfortable, remind yourself that you're still at least working toward connection, Dr. Saad notes. And who knows, it may just go even better than you expected.

Make a Call List

Firstein doesn't look forward to calling people, even though she knows it will be good for her. In order to keep herself accountable, she creates a list of people to call. "I force myself to make a list of people I have not spoken to," she says. "And then just sit down and do it. It feels so good afterward." Who ends up on your call list is a matter of personal preference. Consider including family members you love but don't text, or friends who you text with all the time but rarely speak to on the phone. Or maybe it's someone who always makes you feel good, no matter the means of communication.

Consider The Goal of the Phone Call Ahead of Time

Dr. Saad suggests getting clear about what you want to gain from a given chat prior to dialing. "Identify what you want out of that conversation and orient it toward that," she says. Whether you want to share a funny story, talk about a current event, feel validated about a recent conflict, or simply just vent, you're more likely to end the call feeling positive and connected if you have an intention in mind from the outset.

Be Mindful of Whom You're Calling

Once you know what kind of conversation you're looking to have, be intentional about who you're calling. Ask yourself what you need (or want) in the moment, and if the person you're thinking about dialing will provide that, suggests Dr. Saad. Different people in our lives fulfill different needs, both when it comes to real-life interactions and phone conversations. For example, you'll probably want to call your best friend rather than your grandma for advice on your latest situationship. (Unless, of course, you do have that kind of relationship with your grandma…in which case, go for it.)

Alexis Berger (she/her) is a writer and editor with more than a decade of experience. Previously the deputy editor at Well+Good, she now specializes in creating health, wellness, lifestyle, travel, and beauty content for a number of publications, including InStyle, Self, GQ, Well+Good, Business Insider, and more.

57 Gratitude-Journal Prompts That Will Help You Find the Good Every Day

Caitlin Flynn — Mon, 02 Feb 2026 06:00:30 -0800

It's easy to get caught up in the stressors of everyday life, but taking time out of each day to practice gratitude can benefit both your mental and physical health. Not sure where to start? Try gratitude journal prompts. Research suggests that practicing gratitude can lower stress levels, improve sleep, and strengthen your relationships. It's even been shown to lower levels of cellular inflammation.

If you're ready to try it for yourself, grab a gratitude journal (or any notebook you have on hand) and choose a few of the prompts below to fill out each day. We've even broken up the categories for you depending on where in your life you might need a little more gratitude - whether it's for the people around you, your environment, or life's daily pleasures. You might find that you really do feel happier and healthier when you make gratitude part of your daily routine.

Gratitude Journal Prompts

General

What's something you're looking forward to?
List five things that immediately make you smile.
What cheers you up when you're feeling sad or having a bad day?
What's your favorite hobby, and why does it bring you joy?
What are 10 things you love about yourself? Describe how and why you're grateful for each. Did someone help you develop these qualities?
What unique talent or ability do you possess?
What is the accomplishment you're most proud of in your personal life?
What is the accomplishment you're most proud of in your professional life?
Describe your favorite smell.
Describe your favorite taste.
Describe your favorite sound.
What's your favorite season and why?
What's your favorite time of day and why?
What's a guilty pleasure you're grateful for?
What's the best thing about your current age?
List five things you'll consciously stop to notice and appreciate tomorrow.

Daily Pleasures

What's a simple pleasure that made you happy today?
What's one positive thing, big or small, that happened to you today?
Name an act of kindness that someone did for you today.
Name an act of kindness that you did for someone else today.
What's your favorite part of your daily routine?
What's your favorite thing about your morning routine?
What's your favorite thing about your nighttime routine?
What's your favorite thing about the current season?
Name one luxury you enjoy on a daily basis.

People

Name the family tradition you're most grateful for.
Name a tradition with friends that you're grateful for.
Who has forgiven you for a mistake you made and given you a second chance?
Name at least one thing you're grateful for about each person in your family.
Describe a favorite memory with your parent or parents.
Describe a favorite memory with a sibling.
Describe a favorite memory with a close friend.
Name a person who shaped who you are today.
Name a person you've never met who has inspired you.

Experiences and Activities

What was the most difficult time in your life? Name five things that are better now than they were during that rough stretch.
Describe a painful experience and how it ultimately made you a stronger person.
Describe your most cherished memory.
What is your favorite solitary activity and why?
What is your favorite group activity and why?
Think back on the last year. What positive changes in your life have occurred since one year ago?
Name positive changes in your personality over the past five years.
What positive things do you have in your life that you didn't have five years ago?
As you get older, what things do you notice that bring you gratitude compared to when you were younger?

Places

Look around the room. What do you see that you're grateful for?
Name five things you love about your home.
Name five things you love about your neighborhood and/or town.
What's your favorite way to enjoy nature?
What's your favorite way to enjoy a city?
What's your favorite place that you've traveled to?
Describe a place that's special to you and why.

The Arts

What artist are you most grateful for?
What musician are you most grateful for?
What author are you most grateful for?
Name a book you're grateful for and why.
Name a movie you're grateful for and why.
Name a song you're grateful for and why.
What's a favorite quote that inspires you?

Caitlin Flynn is a PS contributor whose work has been featured in Rolling Stone, Teen Vogue, InStyle, and Glamour.

These Positive Affirmations Will Harness Good Energy For Your Day

Haley Lyndes — Mon, 12 Jan 2026 06:00:02 -0800

The morning is an important time for your mental health. Without powerful daily affirmations to quell anxiety and soothe the unconscious mind, it's easy to slide further and further down the rabbit hole (especially if you're not naturally a morning person). Many of us are inundated with a heavy news cycle, daily stressors, and a looming pile of responsibilities, which can make that a.m. alarm feel more daunting than encouraging. It's completely normal to feel overwhelmed, but the good news is that tools like positive affirmations can have a seriously beneficial impact on your mental health.

In essence, daily affirmations are short statements meant to be spoken until your mind starts to subconsciously believe them. Once the messages are internalized, you can begin to manifest them into existence. Tell yourself you attract positivity, and see yourself start to believe it. Give your goals enough mental energy, and watch them become part of your reality. It may seem like a long shot, but morning affirmations have the potential to limit negativity, improve self-esteem, and positively shift your mindset in the long run. Affirmations can also assist with anxiety, make you feel more empowered, or just help you get through the day (even if you don't believe every word right away).

Expert Featured in This Article

Dr. Angele Close, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and certified mindfulness meditation teacher with a background in psychotherapy.

What Are Positive Affirmations?

Positive affirmations are encouraging phrases that work to relieve stress through repetition. By allowing your mind to become familiar with a certain feeling or emotion, you're setting good intentions and making it easier to access positive energy. "Shifting our mental attention towards our intention has the potential to help us steer away from negative thinking patterns and create a positive change in mood, mindset, and energy," Dr. Angele Close, PhD, a clinical psychologist and therapist, previously explained to PS. Repeat enough positive affirmations, and you can train your brain to alter its own perspective, turning a "bad" day into a relatively good one.

Starting your day with a positive outlook is also an effective way to cope with anxiety and stress. You can use morning affirmations to enhance productivity, confidence, or any area of your life that could use a shift in mental perspective. "Where goals tend to be concrete and achievable outcomes, affirmations are better used as evoking experiences and shifts in being," Dr. Close clarified, although both can be useful. Even if you're a bit skeptical as to whether or not positive self affirmations work, the psychology makes us think they're definitely worth a shot. Try positive affirmations instead of resolutions this year, and see what a tangible difference they make. Read on for 32 positive affirmations specifically intended to improve your mental health, reduce anxiety, and empower you to be the best you can be.

Powerful Daily Affirmations

I don't chase, I attract. What's meant for me will find me.

Today, I align myself with all things meant for my greater good.

I have the power to create my own happiness.

All of my desires are attracted to me.

Everything I need is within me.

I claim my power.

I am grateful for my life. I am ready to accomplish my goals.

Everything works out for me.

I am beautiful, capable, and lovable.

Love and money come to me easily today.

I am always receiving abundance and miracles.

I have it within me to solve any challenges that come my way.

Positive Affirmations For Anxiety

I am at peace. Only positive energy will come my way.

I am worthy not because of what I do, but because of who I am.

It is my birthright to be happy.

All is well in my world.

I choose to be wealthier than I already am.

I am always guided toward my purpose.

My mind is at ease and relaxed.

Everything that I need I already have.

I am worthy of love, and I receive it daily.

I deserve and receive all of my desires.

Positive Affirmations For Mental Health

I am grateful for all the joy, abundance, and love that finds me today.

I am open to receiving love, and I am ready.

I let go of what no longer serves me.

I am worthy of respect and love.

I am attracting positive energy into my life.

I give myself permission to do what is right for me.

I release myself of any energy that no longer serves me.

I will be a positive person toward others.

I am grateful for another day to create a life I love.

I am a magnet of positivity.

- Additional reporting by Chandler Plante and Jade Esmeralda

Haley Lyndes was an assistant editor for PS Shopping where she found and tested the best home, beauty, and fashion products. She is a graduate of Northern Vermont University and has nearly five years of experience in both written and broadcast journalism.

Chandler Plante is an assistant editor for PS Health & Fitness. Previously, she worked as an editorial assistant for People magazine and contributed to Ladygunn, Millie, and Bustle Digital Group. In her free time, she overshares on the internet, creating content about chronic illness, beauty, and disability.

Jade Esmeralda, MS, CSCS, is a health and fitness staff writer and a strength and conditioning specialist. A lifelong martial artist and dancer, Jade has a strong passion for strength and conditioning, sports science, and human performance. She graduated with a Master of Science degree in exercise science and strength and conditioning from George Washington University.

Why Is Camping Out in the Bathroom So Damn Cathartic?

Taylor Andrews — Tue, 02 Dec 2025 13:00:02 -0800

The bathroom is not often a place I find solitude. When I have to go, I'm in and out . . . mainly because I don't want to pick up any hemorrhoids or new germs. But lately, people have gotten more vocal about doing the exact opposite: they stay awhile, settle in, and turn their time on the toilet into a relaxing sanctuary.

Otherwise known as "bathroom camping," this is what happens when people stay in the bathroom to escape reality. Sometimes, it's a parent escaping their kids for five minutes. Other times, it's an employee taking a mental break at work.

Though I happen to be someone who enjoys my alone time in my car, I can understand the appeal of a bathroom break. A closed door and a few extra minutes to unwind can create the perfect environment to exist without the ping of a Slack notification or a husband asking where his car keys are for the fifth time.

"The bathroom has built-in boundaries," psychotherapist Jessica Hunt says. "You can close the door, lock it, and no one questions your need for privacy. That sense of separation, both physically and symbolically, creates permission to pause." Below, Hunt explains more about why so many people find comfort on the toilet seat.

Experts Featured in This Article

Jessica Hunt, LCSW, is a California-based psychotherapist specializing in anxiety, relationships, identity, and life transitions.

What Is Bathroom Camping, and Why Do So Many People Do It?

Just as the name implies, bathroom camping is what happens when someone hangs out in the bathroom for reasons other than having to go. "Bathroom camping is when someone retreats to the bathroom (and stays in longer than necessary) to enjoy quiet time away from everything else," Hunt adds.

Though there are many reasons why someone may do this, Hunt says a big one is to decompress away from demanding jobs, young kids, or draining social interactions. "It is a socially acceptable way to step out of the noise for a minute, scroll, breathe, or simply exist without demands," she adds.

For some people, there's also something therapeutic about sitting on the toilet. "It gives the nervous system a break - a few minutes of quiet and solitude to help shift someone out of a stress response," Hunt says. "There's also something unique about a space where you are physically vulnerable and exposed, yet the space is wholly your own and privacy is the norm."

For whatever reason you like to bathroom camp, know that it's not necessarily a bad thing. (Just don't ask a doctor about your risk for hemorrhoids if you don't want to stop.) Finding a relaxing space where you can disassociate, take a few breaths, and recenter yourself can be helpful when you're stressed or anxious.

That said, Hunt urges you to look at the bigger picture: "If the bathroom is the only place you feel you can breathe, it may be time to create that same sense of calm and solitude elsewhere in your life." In other words, bathroom camping isn't exactly a problem - it's a signal to prioritize more space and rest. If hiding out on the toilet gives you a moment to reset, that's valid, but ideally, your peace shouldn't depend on a locked door and porcelain seat.

Taylor Andrews is the senior balance editor at Popsugar, specializing in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, travel, and more. With eight years of editorial experience, Taylor has a strong background in content creation and storytelling. Prior to joining PS in 2021, she worked at Cosmopolitan.

Why Am I Obsessed With Sitting in My Car For Long Periods of Time?

Taylor Andrews — Tue, 29 Apr 2025 10:45:02 -0700

There's something therapeutic about sitting in my car. When inside, I'm taken to a place where reality doesn't exist: I can simply detach from the constant demands of everyday life by staring blankly at my dashboard, exploring a random passing thought like, "Wait, why do fictional animal deaths make me so sad?"

In these moments parked in the driveway, I find clarity and peace. It's like self-care without the meditation apps and Coconut Cult. I can simply exist without the ping of a Slack notification, spend some time daydreaming about what it would be like to be a coastal grandma, and mentally reset before checking my bank account.

The solitude I find in my car isn't exclusively my own experience, though. Not only are there multiple Reddit threads on the subject, but TikTok creators have also shared videos on the same sentiment. Some people simply enjoy the peace and quiet it brings, while others use their car to process their emotions or feelings.

"Sitting in your car serves as a transitional space - a haven that exists between the outside world and home," psychotherapist Jessica Hunt says. "It's a moment to decompress, process the day, and mentally prepare for what's next." Below, Hunt explains more about why so many people find comfort in the car.

Experts Featured in This Article

Jessica Hunt, LCSW, is a California-based psychotherapist specializing in anxiety, relationships, identity, and life transitions.

Why Do I Love Sitting in My Car?

One reason why you may enjoy sitting in your car is because it feels like a personal bubble. "It's a small, controlled environment where you can relax without interruption, which provides a sense of safety and control," Hunt says. "This is a very comforting escape from the stresses of daily life - even if it's temporary."

In the same way people may decompress by painting, working out, reading a book, or going on a hot girl walk, a moment of solitude in the car could have the same effect - especially for people with children, who may feel like they don't often have alone time. The time in the car may be a rare opportunity for a break from any and all responsibilities or stresses.

On a psychological level, decompressing in your car could be related to the concept of "transition time" or "micro breaks," Hunt says. "These are moments that help us shift from one part of our day to another, allowing us to reset and recharge mentally."

Personally, I like to sit in my car following a workout class. Of course, this may be because I'm tired and the mere thought of moving my hands to start the car seems like too much work. But it's also because it helps me come down from my workout and prepare myself for what the rest of the day has in store.

Either way, it's not a bad thing to use your car as a mobile sanctuary. (It's cheaper than a massage or a flight to Greece, after all.) But if you find yourself needing these moments frequently, "it might be a sign that you need more intentional downtime or stress management in your routine," Hunt says.

"Listen to the cues and explore how you can incorporate more relaxation and moments to recharge throughout your day," she adds. Until then, you can find me in my car.

Taylor Andrews (she/her) is the balance editor at PS, specializing in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, travel, and more. With seven years of editorial experience, Taylor has a strong background in content creation and storytelling. Prior to joining PS in 2021, she worked at Cosmopolitan.

The Millennial Urge to Crack Jokes as the World Burns

Karen Snyder Duke — Tue, 08 Apr 2025 13:00:03 -0700

The stock market had barely groaned its first warnings of a potential recession when my phone buzzed. It was my closest friend from college, sharing a TikTok - the 2025 equivalent of sending a sympathy card or a "thinking of you."

"Millennials bringing out the Recession Pop Playlist after seeing the stock market crash," the video read, as a creator danced to the 2009 hit "Down" by Jay Sean. The next day, she sent me another TikTok - this one a meme of Amy Poehler, dressed in a hoodie and sunglasses, throwing up the peace sign as "Gangsta's Paradise" played in the background. The on-screen text joked that millennials were about to live through our fourth "once in a lifetime" recession.

It was a classically millennial response to these unprecedented times we've been living in - for nearly 20 years. And listen, I get it: My first instinct was to post a screenshot of the S&P 500 dropping 6 percent to my Instagram Story with an acoustic cover of "There She Goes" playing over it. When it was reported that JPMorgan Chase had raised its probability of a global recession to 60 percent, my husband and I turned up some music and danced it out in our living room.

Of course, as someone who entered the workforce during the Great Recession, I know how this plays out, and it's decidedly not funny.

This specific phenomenon seems to be a coping mechanism our generation has developed as a result of our collective trauma. Why face the threat of another recession head-on when you can disassociate from it - or even make light of it?

Of course, as someone who entered the workforce during the Great Recession - and had to scrape by as a temp for 10 months before landing a job with benefits - I know how this plays out, and it's decidedly not funny.

Worst-case scenario, the market crashes and companies respond the way they did when I was fresh out of college: by conducting mass layoffs and implementing hiring freezes. Those who are laid off will join federal employees in flooding an already challenging job market. Job postings that were getting hundreds of applications suddenly get thousands.

At the same time, the American people will learn too late that it can take years, not weeks or months, to build manufacturing plants and processes on American soil, and that some raw materials simply can't be sourced in the US, impacting even companies whose products are "American made." As a result, President Trump's tariffs will create an unprecedented cost-of-living crisis, as companies that import goods or materials pass those costs onto the consumer. Some small businesses simply won't survive it.

For those lucky enough to be employed, wages will stagnate. Young people will move back in with their parents, only to be mocked by older generations whose reckless voting and leadership created an environment where they can't afford to live on their own.

It's a dark picture, right? I take no pleasure in writing out the thoughts that were swirling in my head as my husband and I danced carefree in our living room, as if the world wasn't actually about to collapse around us again.

I wish there was some sage advice I could give younger generations who may be experiencing this for the first time. If I'm being honest, there isn't - but I can tell you that, in the midst of this mess, you'll find a sense of community among those in your generation that you didn't expect. The kind that will keep you going when you've hit rock bottom. That will always hold the same grudges that you do. And that will laugh with you about it 20 years from now, even when you know you shouldn't.

Hope Walz Isn't Scared of Unapologetically Being Herself, Despite the Trolls

Yerin Kim — Thu, 27 Feb 2025 09:25:01 -0800

Image Source: Hope Walz

Hope Walz never intended to become an influencer. Even with almost 400,000 followers on TikTok, she's not sure she identifies with that title. "But I've quickly come to learn that I do have influence," says the 24-year-old daughter of Tim Walz.

Over the past few months following the election, Walz's TikTok has become a place of solace and yes, hope, for folks mourning the Democrats' loss and angered by the Trump administration's actions. In her videos, the social worker and ski instructor shares her favorite skin care, days in the life, and glimpses of her family - including her parents making their famous caramel corn recipe. But she's also not afraid to call out the president and current administration for their anti-trans policies, cuts to national park services, and hateful rhetoric.

She posted her first public TikTok on Nov. 7, the day after election results were called. "We're going to be OK, everyone," she reassures viewers while her brother, Gus, drives next to her. "I didn't expect it to go anywhere," she says of the now-viral video. "I only had 700 random followers, but the video blew up. A lot of the comments were like, 'This is so comforting. If you guys can start to move forward, then we can.' So I was like, I might as well keep posting. Seeing people relate to that made me realize maybe I can be a voice going forward. It was all pretty organic, which was cool. It's fun for me."

A lot of times, people directly involved in politics are very tight-lipped. And that's never who I've been. And that's not who I want to be.

Eventually, Walz began sharing more of her personal life. She's still figuring out her niche on social media, but she knows she wants to use her platform for advocacy. "I think it's nice to see people that are a part of national politics be normal. We don't see that very often," she says. "But I found that my videos where I'm sharing my opinion do best. I'm confident in myself and what I have to say, but seeing people relate to that has helped me start to figure out where I can be. I'm very passionate about politics and advocacy, so I think that's definitely the route I'll end up going on because that's what lights my fire. And I think for the people that follow me, that's what lights their fire as well."

Walz is used to the public eye - her dad has served as the governor of Minnesota since 2019, and she was right by his side throughout the Harris-Walz campaign. But TikTok gave her the agency to share what she wants about her life. "Being able to decide what I post and what people see has been very comforting and empowering for me," she says. As for whether she consults her dad on what she should post, she says she's "very grateful" her parents trust her judgment - for the most part. "My dad texted me the other day and he's like, 'You just posted a great video. Your mom says you should stop saying the F word.'"

Ahead, Walz opens up about voicing her opinions online, prioritizing self-care, forging ahead under the Trump administration, and whether she'll ever follow in her father's footsteps.

Image Source: Getty / Chip Somodevilla

On Using Her Voice

"A lot of times, people directly involved in politics are very tight-lipped," Walz says. "And that's never who I've been. And that's not who I want to be. I'm someone who's going to speak my mind. I think it's pretty powerful to have a voice like mine in the space that I'm in, just calling out the crap."

Whether it's trolls telling her to "get over" her dad losing the election or offensive social media posts from the White House, she's often outspoken against the far-right. "I have conversations with my dad about how to be effective using my voice and I'm playing with that and figuring that out," she says. "So far, I've found being unapologetically myself and being a voice of hope, but also drawing the line when things are ridiculous, is where I'm at right now."

As someone who's in a privileged position, she wants to make sure she's speaking up for marginalized communities. "I am very aware of the body I am in and the position I'm in," she says. "As a white woman, I have to have conversations with other white women and try to draw them in, and I do that by meeting them where they're at and having empathy. But if someone is openly hateful, I do not care what they have to say. It would hurt me if I ever said anything that hurt women of color or marginalized communities, but I don't care what people on the other side have to think of me at this point."

On Moving Forward Under the Trump Administration

"It's really scary," Walz admits. "I don't think anybody in my circle is trying to be like, 'Everything's going to be OK; it's just another administration,' because we're very well aware that it's not."

"What I do to move forward is, I see that stuff, but then I go into my community and do the work that I can do," she says. "I say this a lot on my TikTok: It's hard to stop large mass things going on, but you can do your part by going into your community and volunteering, showing up to a protest, or calling your legislators."

Image Source: Hope Walz

On How She Carves Out Time For Joy

"I lean into the community aspect because that is what's going to get us through: doing work with people that you're around and people that you care about," she says. For Walz, she works at a warming center for unhoused people a few days a week. "I always leave with my cup filled because we are our own little community in there. And when I'm doing work in there, I am making a difference in people's lives and that's what matters."

She likes to do "little things to fill my own cup" on the daily, so that she's able to go out and help others. "Making time for yourself to do things with your people is super important and is going to allow us to get through the next four years. If we're just doom all the time, we're going to get drained," she says. She loves skiing with her friends, going to workout classes, going on walks, reading, and watching some of her favorite shows. (She's currently rewatching "Gossip Girl" for the fifth time and as a Bravo girl, keeping up with "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City" and "Vanderpump Rules.") And while Walz might be a comfort creator for many, she has her own favorites she turns to, like Eli Rallo, Golloria, Kate Glavan, Suzanne Lambert, and Nadya Okamoto.

On Her Favorite Beauty Products

Walz also practices self-care through her skin and hair routines. She actually started investing in her skin care during the campaign: "I was looking to control things that I could control and take care of myself in such a crazy time," she says. "It's become the best thing for me because it's 10 minutes a day that I am solely focused on myself and nothing else." Some of her favorites include:

Tower 28 Beauty SOS Daily Rescue Facial Spray with Hypochlorous Acid ($28): "This is the best thing I've done for my skin. I'll use it in the morning and then sometimes after I sweat. I will probably continue to use it for the rest of my life."
Ole Henriksen Pout Preserve Hydrating Peptide Lip Treatment ($22): "My chapstick is always right next to me. I got this one because Suni Lee told me to. I am always stocked up on this."
Rhode Barrier Butter ($38): "I live in a super dry place, so this really helps. I need to order another barrier butter, but they're all sold out. I had to sign up to remind me when it comes back and I'm going to buy three of them."
Naturium Dew-Glow Tinted Moisturizer SPF 50+ ($23): "This adds another layer of moisture. I know sometimes you can overdo it, but for me, I can't. I'm always like, 'Give me all the moisture.'"
Kerastase Genesis Fortifiant Hair Serum ($62): "My head is always in a hat or a helmet, so I see a lot of breakage. I've started using this and it smells good, it feels good, and I'm noticing a difference, especially along my hairline."

On What's Next

Walz's comments section is flooded with viewers asking if she'll ever run for office herself. While she doesn't necessarily see it in her future, she says she's "never going to close any doors for myself." "A week or two after I first posted my TikTok and gained a bunch of followers super quickly, someone said to me, 'You have more of a following and more influence than a lot of members of Congress.' I'd never really thought about that. But I don't think I actually want to be the person. I do think I should keep my options open because now I do have this platform. If I can do good and make a difference in that role, then, maybe I'll do it. We'll see."

But for now, she sees herself using her social media as more of "a tool" in her career. She recently applied to graduate school for a master's degree in social work, which she still wants to pursue. "I think having this platform will allow me to do it better, which is super cool. From there, I'm kind of floating right now. I'm allowing myself to float a little bit, after this crazy year."

Yerin Kim (she/her) is the features editor at PS, where she writes, assigns, and edits feature stories and helps shape the vision for special projects and identity content across the network. Originally from Seoul and currently based in New York City, she's passionate about elevating diverse perspectives and spreading cultural sensitivity through the lenses of lifestyle, style, wellness, and pop culture. A graduate of Syracuse University's Newhouse School, she has over six years of experience in the women's lifestyle space.

The Best Self-Care Gifts, Starting at $9

Anvita Reddy — Mon, 24 Feb 2025 12:12:02 -0800

A great gift is useful, thoughtful, and shows appreciation to your loved ones. No matter who you're shopping for, you can't go wrong with a present that helps them practice self-care. Self-care can mean so many different things to different people, and we'd define it as anything that makes you feel more nourished and energized about life. Gift-giving is one of our favorite love languages, and we'll take any excuse to shower our loved ones with something special, so we crafted the ultimate self-care gift guide. Because, let's face it, some of the best gifts to give are those we'd like to receive ourselves, and we'd be so happy to open up any of these presents.

Whether it's a massage device as a reminder to take care of their muscles (for that friend dedicated to two-a-day workouts), something for sleep, or some relaxing aromatherapy, there's a top self-care gift at every price point - starting at just $9. We're particularly into self-reflection journals and the weighted sleep mask. Looking for something luxurious? Treat them to a Diptyque candle or an infrared sauna blanket for a five-star spa-like experience. Plus, we found some unique self-care gifts, such as CBD gumdrops that are both delicious and calming and a coffee mug warmer that adds a bit of coziness to anyone's workday.

These goodies will help your loved ones show up for themselves. Shop the best self-care gifts ahead - for your best friends, significant others, or even yourself.

The Best Self-Care and Gratitude Journals For 2025

Kyley Warren — Fri, 24 Jan 2025 09:55:02 -0800

Practicing mindfulness and achieving an inner-zen is (admittedly) much easier said than done - especially these days with so many different distractions right at our fingertips. Oftentimes, it can feel impossible trying to block out all of the outside noise and find time to truly sit with ourselves, our emotions, and even our thoughts. Therapy and other recreational activities like yoga are great tools for helping you to practice peace and gratitude on the daily. But if you're looking for something simpler to do at home that can help you start your day off on the right foot, self-care and gratitude journals are a great alternative to turn to - especially for those looking to embrace the new year with a fresh set of resolutions!

You don't need more than a pen and paper to practice journaling and reap a variety of stress-relieving, mindfulness-promoting benefits. But guided journals - specifically those that are catered to self-care, wellness practices, and gratitude prompts with insightful exercises - may help you keep the habit. They also make beautiful, thoughtful, and caring gifts for any loved ones who are motivated to be their best selves, as they help to ease anxiety and promote more gratitude on the daily.

From self-care journals and document positive affirmations to planners that track your daily to-dos, feelings, and even eating or spending habits, there are so many thoughtful self-care and gratitude journals out there that double as the perfect gifts to give (and receive!) this season - because your own self-care deserves your attention, too. Shop our favorites ahead.

Do Gratitude Journals Really Work? This $35 Version Transformed the Way I Think

Kyley Warren — Fri, 24 Jan 2025 09:45:02 -0800

I'm no expert on happiness, but I do know a thing or two about self-care and how even the smallest habits can improve your mental and emotional wellbeing. Over the years, I've spent countless hours buried in self-help books, absorbing advice from the world's most influential people on how to improve the quality of my life. "Big Magic" by Elizabeth Gilbert, "Outlive" by Peter Attia and Bill Gifford, and "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron remain some of my all-time favorites.

The common theme throughout many of my most-read (and reread!) self-help guides is about the art of mindfulness - knowing not only when to slow down and take stock of all the good around you, but also how being more mindful can positively transform your life, beyond just your attitude. Journaling is one such way to incorporate more mindfulness into your everyday life, and this Season Journals Everyday Positive Journal ($35) has been a personal game-changer in helping me make a regular habit of it.

Ahead, I detail what sets this product apart from other gratitude journals - including how I use it in my daily routine, what it includes, and who would most benefit from investing in this self-care essential.

What Is a Daily Gratitude Journal?

As indicated by the name, a daily gratitude journal is a tool you can use (spoiler!) every day to log your thoughts, manifestations, and prayers, with guided prompts that invite you to be more mindful. While gratitude journals vary in format, they're all designed to help you develop a more consistent journaling habit, while also providing space to practice positivity and gratitude each day.

A 2020 research study promoted by UCLA Health found that practicing gratitude for 15 minutes per day, five days a week for six weeks improved participants' mental wellbeing, and one of PS's own contributors previously detailed the benefits of using a gratitude journal for anxiety.

What I Like About This Everyday Positive Journal

You'd think that someone who writes for a living would be better about journaling on the regular, but alas, it's actually quite the opposite. Beyond filling in my daily planner, I've always struggled to implement a journaling routine that sticks. But unlike other guided journals, this log doesn't require a huge time commitment; each day, it takes me no longer than two to three minutes to fill in the provided journal prompt, which usually focuses on self-reflection and self-love. With how hectic my daily schedule can get, I like that this diary offers a quick way for me to write out my thoughts, without requiring a huge chunk of time in my morning routine.

I also like that this gratitude journal has changed the way I think about and approach situations. I have a tendency to overanalyze things and make my problems seem bigger than they actually are; chronic main-character syndrome, if you will. While I don't deny the validity of my emotions, it does help to put some of my reactions into perspective and remember that the world is actually much bigger than whatever is going on in my day-to-day life. It's easy to take my blessings for granted or forget how fortunate I am.

With this daily gratitude journal, I've gotten much better about recognizing the positives in my life, and as a result, I can approach obstacles with a more measured, optimistic perspective. Since incorporating this gratitude diary into my everyday routine, my friends - ever the sources of earnest, tough love - have also acknowledged that I seem more hopeful (even noting that it's a "refreshing" departure from my usual cynical state). What else are friends for, right?

How to Use the Everyday Positive Journal

In theory, there's no right or wrong way to use this gratitude journal - it's more about incorporating it into your routine in a way that's functional for your lifestyle. I personally like to use it first thing in the morning when I wake up and then again before I go to bed. Instead of reaching for my phone for a doom-scroll that's bound to upset me, I pull out my gratitude journal. Over time, this has trained my brain to think more positively at the start and end of my days.

The posed questions often vary: "How will I show myself love?" "What will guide my day?" "What happened today?" "What am I grateful for?" They're simple questions that have conditioned me to acknowledge even the littlest blessings: the comfort of ice-cold water, a soft pillow to lay my head on each night, friends that text me to check in, healthy parents that live only a few minutes away.

What's Worth Noting?

While this journal is designed for everyday use, it only includes enough pages for four months (120 days). Unlike a 12-month planner that you can use for the entirety of the year, this journal only has enough daily prompts for a third of it, so you'll need to purchase additional journals to get you through the entire year, or consider finding a gratitude journal with enough prompts for the whole of 2025.

Who Is the Everyday Positive Journal Best For?

If you're looking for an easy way to improve your mental wellbeing and dedicate more time to positive thinking, this daily journal is a great tool to help you kick-start that habit. It's modern-looking (and looks great perched on a nightstand or bookshelf), easy to fill in, and requires only two to three minutes of your day, so it's something that even the busiest individuals can fit into their schedules.

Additional Details:

The Season Journals Everyday Positive Journal has 120 days of daily journaling, equal to four months.
It's a hardcover book, and comes with a linen cloth cover and two ribbon markers.
This journal is designed for everyday use, but the Season Journals brand also offers milestone diaries that are designed to support people in different seasons of their lives, including a marriage journal and a pregnancy journal.

Where Is the Everyday Positive Journal Available?

This everyday journal is available to shop at Season Journals and Amazon.

Rating:

Kyley Warren (she/her) is an award-winning writer, editor, and affiliate strategist with more than four years of experience in the publishing space. She currently works as an assistant editor on PS Shopping and is an expert on all things related to shopping and fashion. She previously worked with Entertainment Tonight as a style commerce writer, and her byline has appeared in publications globally.

If You Cope by "Doing," Try These 3 Expert Tips to Avoid Burnout

Lynn Saladino, Psy.D. — Fri, 10 Jan 2025 11:40:01 -0800

It's Friday morning and you're settling into your new therapist's office. It's been two weeks since the end of your 10-year relationship, but when she asks how you're doing, you tell her you're "fine." Of course you are - you ordered three books on grief, scheduled this appointment, and contacted a designer to get the feng shui in your home flowing in the right direction. You're dealing with this breakup perfectly and hope she notices.

If this scenario resonates, "doing" may be your primary coping skill. When times get tough, you hit that to-do list hard and get things done. While this can be helpful and offer a sense of control, it can also lead to burnout and difficulty relaxing. Understanding what drives this tendency and learning other ways to take care of yourself can help you get the most from your "to-do" desires . . . and improve your overall health and well-being.

Why Do We "Do" to Help Us Cope?

The short answer: Doing makes us feel better. Constant motion can lead to feelings of control and efficiency, and possibly even less emotion. While this may be a learned response, it's also rooted in biology. Two of the primary survival strategies are "fight" and "flight," activated states that help us defend ourselves in a crisis. While they were initially intended for survival in the wild, they're also what's fueling your multi-step plan after a loved one dies or your move to a new city when life throws you a curveball.

What Are the Downfalls of This Coping Mechanism?

"Doing" is absolutely a good thing. It's only when it's overused that it can become problematic. Because your body is naturally programmed to find balance - a process called homeostasis - constantly "doing" throws it out of whack. This can then lead to cravings for things that slow you down quickly, like alcohol, unhealthy food, or excessive social media use. Unfortunately, these don't offer much of the necessary restoration; rather, they help you zone out. Alternating between these two extreme states for too long can lead to burnout and unprocessed emotions that can pop up at inopportune times.

What Are Some Other Ways to Take Care of Yourself If Doing Is Your Coping Strategy?

Admittedly, settling your system can be difficult. Coming out of a constant state of fight or flight tells your brain that you're no longer protected from any possible danger, making downtime feel uncomfortable. The key is to be gentle with yourself, finding ways to slow down and process emotions in ways that feel less threatening.

Give your brain space to process: When you're constantly doing, there's little time for your brain to work with your emotions. While meditation is often too intense for doers, activities that let your brain "float" can be more approachable. Choose a task that requires some thinking, but not too much - think cleaning a closet or painting your nails. Do at least part of this activity without other distractions like podcasts, television, or music. Observe what thoughts and feelings come up and jot down things you want to revisit, resisting the urge to solve problems. Being with your thoughts can be challenging, so remember that you can always return to the task and redirect yourself if needed.

Work directly with your emotions: Sometimes anger, sadness, and frustration arise clearly, but other times you may notice symptoms like irritability, fatigue, or muscle aches. Set aside time to get curious about these experiences and actively move through them. For example, you might try a writing exercise that starts with a question like, "What do I feel frustrated about?" Or set an intention for your next boxing class to tap into your emotions through movement. Even small amounts of this type of conscious and concerted processing can release emotions that may be stuck and leave you feeling more clear-headed.

Learn to say "no": Finding more balance is dependent on leaving space between tasks - something many doers have trouble with. Implementing a gentle yet clear strategy for saying no can reduce overwhelm and guilt. Set a goal of reducing your tasks by 10 percent and start with the easiest options first. For example, it may be easier to say no to making cookies for a school bake sale than it is to picking your mother up from a medical appointment. Write down phrases to communicate effectively, like, "I'm sorry I won't be able to do that this week, but I appreciate you asking." Every little bit helps and will reduce your overwhelm throughout the week.

Like any coping strategy, being a doer can have its downsides if it's overused. But the more you learn to care for yourself along with all that "doing," the more you'll see that it can also be your superpower. Try a couple of these techniques, and hopefully, you'll feel more balanced before you know it.

Lynn Saladino (she/her), PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist. Her private practice, Dr. Lynn Psychology, PLLC, has brought a holistic and practical approach to mental wellness for the New York City and Boston communities for almost 15 years. As the psychology editor of Health magazine and the author of its mental health column, Let's Talk It Out, she offered an approachable perspective to mental health concerns. Dr. Saladino is on a mission to make mental health straightforward and fun whenever possible. Lynn is a PS Council member.

A Case Against "Living For the Plot" in 2025

Angel Martinez — Tue, 07 Jan 2025 06:00:02 -0800

We are the generation of living for the plot. Even before our exposure to coming-of-age rom coms and self-focused platforms like TikTok and X, we've seen our lives as stories and ourselves, its main characters. Joan Didion said so herself decades ago, planting the seeds for the often quintessential way 20- and 30-somethings conceptualize our own lives.

"Living for the plot" was originally coined by content creator Serena Kerrigan, but its popularity often resurges during the new year: the perfect time to start a new season or era.

Perhaps it's landed so well with women because traditional gender norms often force us into a stereotypical storyline, regardless of what we truly want. Go to school, finish college, find a job, start a family, and work until we die. When living for the plot, though, young women have the freedom to flip the script. These days, we live vicariously through TikTok users running it back with their exes, stepping into messy situationships, or even moving halfway across the world - the kind of over-the-top storylines we grew up watching on screen.

But in 2025, more women are considering the potential drawbacks of this mindset. And according to experts, the fleeting attention we receive may not be worth the significant mental and emotional toll of seeking out dramatic, risky, or toxic interactions and situations.

In our pursuit of the next great story, we may end up losing sight of who we truly are.

After a bad breakup, Sarah*, a 24-year-old creative, decided to live for the plot and step into the dating scene. "I was the only one among my friends who was doing this, and they enjoyed hearing about all these crazy stories that they would have never tried for themselves," she says. "It brought me great joy to be able to just sit with them, recount all the stupid decisions I was making, and feel like I was a character out of a chick flick we all enjoyed."

But in our pursuit of the next great story, we may end up losing sight of who we truly are - which is in no small part influenced by the social media-driven world we live in. "In today's society, we've become so accustomed to the dramatics of reality TV that it's blurred the lines between authentic experiences and those that are deemed worthy of online attention," says Patricia Dixon, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in relationship counseling, self-improvement, and mental wellness. "As we feel pressured to outdo one another and remain relevant, risky behavior eventually becomes normalized."

Sarah, for example, started feeling guilty about the way she was dating. "Deep down, I knew I was never going to see a lot of the guys I was talking to. But I was leading them on to believe they stood a chance, just because it seemed fun at the time," she says. Indeed, living for the plot can be a rather solipsistic exercise: those around us are treated as mere side quests, conduits for our character development.

This mindset has also been applied outside of the realm of dating. Some have gone rogue when it comes to their social lives, hobbies, and overall life trajectory - with mixed results. Jane*, a 21-year-old student, felt that the solution to feeling alone and bored in a new town was to go out every night. "But when you push your analytical side away for so long, you'll eventually come to regret it," she admits. By the end of her first semester, her life had spiraled out of control. "I remember a couple of weeks where I had missed entire days because I would wake up at 6 p.m.," she says. "I would be out partying all night and wouldn't go home until noon."

According to Dr. Dixon, viewing our lived reality as fiction could lead to dissociation: a disconnect between our thoughts, actions, and identity. Such escapism facilitates riskier decisions, without much regard for the outcomes. But it's also a convenient way to forget just how much time, effort, and resources we waste while treating our lives as a social experiment.

How to Live For the Plot in a Healthy Way

The line between little acts of rebellion and toxic or unhealthy behavior can be a fine one in a world where it seems like everyone is being just as chaotic as you. It is understandably difficult to distinguish which risks are worth taking, and how to even make sure they're calculated enough. "I appreciate the sentiment behind trying everything once, but it isn't always practical or wise. If trying something compromises your values or well-being in any way, it may be best to avoid it," Dr. Dixon says.

For Sarah, it took some outside concern for her to reevaluate how she was living her life. "I justified a lot of what I was doing as it was happening, and only really snapped out of it when my friends intervened," Sarah says. "But remember that they can only help you if you disclose all information to them. Maybe the fact that you're hiding something is already your sign that what you're doing is wrong." Until she figures out what she really wants from a relationship, Sarah has placed herself in a "dating detox" for now.

Meanwhile, Jane found that self-reflection was necessary in changing the course of her actions. After receiving her grades for the first semester, she decided on her own to climb her way out of her rut. Now, her partying days are behind her as she builds a career for herself in journalism. "People tend to confuse overthinking with critical thinking, but you still need to do the latter even when you're trying to avoid the former," she says.

Indeed, finding the right balance for you requires an honest conversation: how do you define an interesting life? Are your sources of fulfillment and validation internal or external? Dr. Dixon recommends examining your motivations: "Are we trying something new because it genuinely excites us, or are we simply seeking validation from others? When we approach new experiences with genuine curiosity and personal interest, we are more likely to remain authentic."

Many folks talk about living for the plot in order to minimize future regrets: booking that spontaneous trip abroad, taking a chance on a fiery love interest, quitting your job to try out your own venture. But this longing may be rooted in the unfounded assumption that things would have always been better on the other side. Sometimes, the awareness we gain from trying isn't worth the pain we get in the process.

Instead, Dixon suggests a reframing tactic when faced with the fear of missing out: "Genuine regret over missed opportunities can be used instead as a compass for the future, inspiring us to make more intentional choices moving forward and embrace opportunities that align with values and aspirations."

The story of our lives can stretch out for several more decades, if we let it. Why is our idea of a good narrative steeped in so much high-stakes drama, anyway? True character development can also occur in moments of quiet reflection, too – something that Sarah is finally wrapping her head around this year.

"Come to think of it, I didn't really do or even learn anything meaningful about myself as I was 'living for the plot,'" she says. "So this year, it doesn't matter if I'm 'boring' by society's standards as long as I'm living a life that's truly mine."

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of interviewees

Angel Martinez is a Manila-based culture writer, consumer researcher, and content strategist. Her work on the internet, identity, and their intersections has been published in Vice, i-D, Vox, and Business Insider, among others.

15 Self-Care Products That Will Ease Stress and Help You Relax

Kyley Warren — Mon, 30 Dec 2024 06:10:02 -0800

We already know that self-care is essential to our happiness, but in the midst of juggling so many other things - like work commitments, relationships, and fitness routines - we don't always prioritize it in the way that we should. Setting time aside for yourself each day is pivotal to your mental and emotional wellbeing.

Fortunately, with so many unique products that are available to shop online, it's never been easier to stock up on essentials that are designed to rejuvenate your soul and help you relax with ease. If one of your 2025 goals is to dedicate more time to self care (a worthy ambition), we've got you covered. From cozy slippers to brightening eye patches and aromatic diffusers, we've curated a guide to the best self-care products, with items that come from top brands like Slip, Hum Nutrition, UGG, Nespresso, and more.

Struggling with feelings of anxiety? Consider investing in a weighted blanket that's designed to feel like a warm hug. Hoping to elevate your evening routine? A bath caddy will add a little extra luxury to your next bath and give you a place to organize your most soothing beauty essentials - like shower steamers or bath bombs. Perhaps you're simply looking for solutions to a better night's rest. A room-darkening eye mask or calming white noise machine can make all the difference.

Regardless of how you practice self care, these items will help you to tame your mind, relax your body, and create a regimen that's manageable for you. Keep reading to shop our picks for the best self-care products, including a few editor-recommended essentials, that'll help you nail all of your New Year's resolutions come 2025.

These Are the Only Products That Get PS Editors Through Periods

Sarah Wasilak — Thu, 10 Oct 2024 14:55:02 -0700

As a commerce editor, I find that the best way to curate a shopping guide is by polling our PS editors, all of whom have plenty of experience when it comes to product testing. So when I came up with the idea to share some of my go-tos for alleviating cramps, headaches, and general fatigue during my period, I knew where to source additional ideas. After chatting with a group of my colleagues, I realized that we all have our own remedies for self-care and self-soothing during this often uncomfortable time of the month.

Some of the recommendations folks suggested were ones I've tried - I feel so much more in-tune with my body when I track my menstrual cycle on an app, for example - but there were lots of items I didn't know existed! From senior content director Jessica Andrews's favorite herbal-infused cooling pads to video director Genevieve Farrell's stick-on body massager for relieving achy joints, I am now embracing a collect-them-all mentality when it comes to this genius must-have list.

Ahead, check out the products we're actually using during our periods, and find out how they earned a spot on our must-have lists.

This $20 Neck Wrap Melts Away My Neck and Shoulder Tension

Anvita Reddy — Fri, 27 Sep 2024 07:06:02 -0700

Any time I get a massage or a facial, every practitioner points out how much tension I hold in my neck, shoulders, and upper back. I'm told that my knots are pretty gnarly. While I should probably see a professional massage therapist to alleviate my muscle tension and stiffness, I can't do that every day - although a girl can dream. Luckily, I found a few at-home self-care tools that help deliver targeted relief for my neck and shoulders, one being the PS Weighted Hot & Cold Neck Wrap Pillow ($20).

As the name suggests, the PS Weighted Hot & Cold Neck Wrap Pillow is a weighted wrap that can be warmed up or cooled down to facilitate at-home temperature therapy. It's also infused with calming lavender and mint notes to deliver a moment of aromatherapy for holistic wellness and self-care. As someone who deals with constant neck and shoulder discomfort, I used the PS Weighted Hot & Cold Neck Wrap Pillow for about a month to see if it helped to relieve my tension.

Ahead, you can read my full review of PS's Weighted Hot & Cold Neck Wrap Pillow.

Experts Featured in This Article

Sharon Gam, PhD, CSCS, is an exercise physiologist and certified strength and conditioning coach.

Ellen Thompson is a certified personal trainer and head personal trainer with Blink Fitness.

What I Like About the PS Weighted Hot & Cold Neck Wrap Pillow:

I've used my fair share of pain-relieving wraps, but the PS Weighted Hot & Cold Neck Wrap Pillow combines all my favorite features into one product. Unlike others on the market, this one does not slip off, even if I'm moving around and getting some errands done. This wrap is designed to stay in place thanks to its rounded shape, weight distribution, and velvety fabric that grips onto my clothes.

It sits perfectly at the base of my shoulders while the collar remains upright, hugging and supporting my neck. The clay beads are allocated evenly throughout the wrap, with channels that keep them in place so they don't all shift to one side. Because I tend to shrug my shoulders up - creating tension unknowingly - I appreciate having the two pounds of weight push them back down. Feeling that pressure reminds me to actively relax my shoulders so I don't cause more stiffness, aches, and pains.

While using the heated neck wrap pillow, it feels as though the tension in my neck and shoulders is slowly melting as I embrace a state of relaxation.

Although the weighted feel helps with relief, being able to use hot or cold therapy is what truly makes this wrap a winner in my book. Instead of using a separate ice pack or heating pad, I can just throw the PS Weighted Hot & Cold Neck Wrap Pillow in the microwave or the freezer to get the temperature therapy I need.

Certified personal trainer Ellen Thompson previously told PS, "Heat therapy helps relax muscles, and increasing the blood flow helps healing and decreases stiffness, whereas cold therapy can provide relief for sore muscles by reducing inflammation and swelling." According to Sharon Gam, PhD, CSCS, "The research isn't clear on which one is better, so it comes down to personal preference." She recommends trying both types of therapy interchangeably to see which one provides you with more relief.

I like to switch between hot and cold, depending on how I'm feeling. For example, on a hot summer day, I use cold therapy for its refreshing feel, but if I'm feeling chilly, I'll use heat. I also prefer cold therapy after a tough upper body workout to help reduce muscle soreness. While using the heated neck wrap pillow, it feels as though the tension in my neck and shoulders is slowly melting as I embrace a state of relaxation.

How to Use the PS Weighted Hot & Cold Neck Wrap Pillow:

When heating or cooling the PS Weighted Hot & Cold Neck Wrap Pillow, it's best to do so in the accompanying storage pouch. To use the weighted neck wrap hot, place it in the center of your microwave for one minute and 30 seconds, flipping it over at the 45-second interval. If it's not hot enough for your liking, you can heat it for an additional 30 seconds, but should not exceed a total heating time of three minutes. For cold therapy, place the weighted neck wrap in the freezer for an hour or longer if needed. If it's too cold to use, let it sit and warm up a little before placing it on your shoulders.

What to Consider Before Trying the PS Weighted Hot & Cold Neck Wrap Pillow:

Because it's quicker to heat the pillow in the microwave, rather than waiting for it to cool down in the freezer, I tend to use heat therapy most often. After several uses, I noticed that the scent of the aromatherapy filling was fading. Although I'm not too particular about aromatherapy in general, adding a few spritzes of your favorite fragrance at the ends of the wrap is an easy remedy.

Who Is the PS Weighted Hot & Cold Neck Wrap Pillow Best For?

The PS Weighted Hot & Cold Neck Wrap Pillow is best for those who often feel tension and aches in their upper back, shoulders, and neck. Whether it's from sitting at a desk for long periods of time, waking up on the wrong side of the bed, or recovering after an intense upper body workout, this neck wrap is something I use pretty much every day. I recommend it to those with posture issues since it helps me sit up straight whenever I wear it. I also travel with the PS Weighted Hot & Cold Neck Wrap Pillow since it adds comfort and cushioning to an otherwise uncomfortable airline seat.

Additional Details:

It has two pounds of weighted clay beads.
It has an aromatherapy filling of flaxseeds, lavender, and mint.
It comes with a storage pouch that should be used for heating and cooling.
It's not washer or dryer safe, so it is best to spot clean.

Where Is the PS Weighted Hot & Cold Neck Wrap Pillow Available?

The PS Weighted Hot & Cold Neck Wrap Pillow is available at Walmart and Amazon.

Rating:

Anvita Reddy is an assistant editor for PS Shopping. She has a passion for products and is an avid reviewer of everything including furniture, mattresses, home gadgets, cookware, tech, and more. Having dealt with acne as a teenager and into adulthood, her expertise lies in beauty. She has tried and tested plenty of skin care, makeup, hair care, and countless other beauty products.

Why Does Crying in the Shower Feel So Damn Good?

Taylor Andrews — Tue, 23 Jul 2024 14:10:03 -0700

Hot take: if there's anything that feels as good as feeling good, it's crying in the shower. Not to be confused with the tears that crop up on your birthday or while sitting in the car, crying in the shower is a different kind of release. It's therapeutic, restorative, and honestly rejuvenating, too.

It's not that I enjoy feeling sad or crying over a fictional creature in "House of the Dragon," per say - crying in general sucks and leaves me with a pounding headache and a snotty nose - but the release I feel after letting it all out in the shower specifically helps me feel more balanced and centered. I feel like a new woman when I'm done.

"Participating in a shower cry can feel almost ceremonial - it's a way of acknowledging and shedding some of those built-up emotions from throughout the day," psychotherapist Brianna Paruolo says. "The act of literally washing your body while releasing emotions can create a powerful sense of cleansing, both physically and emotionally."

Below, Paruolo explains more about why crying in the shower feels so damn good.

Experts Featured in This Article

Brianna Paruolo is a licensed psychotherapist and founder of On Par Therapy.

Why Does Crying in the Shower Feel So Good?

One reason why crying in the shower may feel so good is because of the sensory details. "The shower's warm water and white noise can be comforting, creating a cocoon-like environment that feels protective and nurturing," Paruolo says. Not only does the warm water hit my forehead, alleviating any potential headache from forming, but the steam from the hot shower relieves my runny nose. Physically, there's no better setting to cry than in the shower.

On an emotional level, the shower also provides the perfect private setting to cry without fear of judgment, Paruolo says. "It's a safe space where you can be truly alone with your emotions."

When I'm crying in the shower, I'm not worried about who can hear me or what kind of sounds I'm making. I'm simply releasing all the emotions I've held on to that day.

For these reasons, Paruolo often encourages her clients to "wash the day away," whether that involves a shower cry or not. This helps people quite literally wash away the stressors and anxiety that may have impacted them earlier. When you're finished and you walk out of the shower, it's like a reset. Your day can start over and you can move on.

Of course, crying itself is not usually a fun or enjoyable experience, but it's a necessary one that helps you "connect with your feelings, which is healthy, natural, and important for emotional well-being," Paruolo says. And personally, if crying is inevitable, I'd rather do it in the shower where I can smell like Dove body soap than anywhere else.

Although a shower cry is my preferred way to let out some tears, it's OK if it's not your go-to method. "There's no 'right' or 'wrong' place to cry," Paruolo says. "What matters is that you're allowing yourself to process your emotions." It just so happens that I love processing my emotions while I'm shampooing, conditioning, shaving, and washing my body.

Taylor Andrews is a Balance editor at PS who specializes in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, and more. In her six years working in editorial, she's written about how semen is digested, why sex aftercare is the move, and how the overturn of Roe killed situationships.

Ancestral Wood Therapy Is My New Summer Body Self-Care Routine

Johanna Ferreira — Fri, 21 Jun 2024 09:00:02 -0700

This story is part of Como Celebramos, in which we're sharing how we're honoring our favorite summertime Sunday rituals.

Wood therapy, often referred to as maderoterapia in Latin America, has been making its rounds on TikTok ever since Tracee Ellis Ross posted a video on Instagram last summer practicing it on her body. However, the treatment, which works in combination with lymphatic drainage massage, is by no means a new trend.

Experts Featured in This Article

Leidy Maryory Valencia is a certified esthetician, a lymphatic drainage specialist, and the founder of Maryory Wellness.

Having grown up in Queens, NY, I remember seeing countless medical spas in Jackson Heights or Astoria - often owned by Colombians or Brazilians - offering treatments like lymphatic drainage, wood therapy, and butt cupping. After years of making lymphatic drainage massages part of my body care and wellness ritual, I decided to start incorporating ancestral wood therapy just in time for summer.

"Wood therapy is an ancient technique for body sculpting that uses various hand-held wooden tools that help break down fat, promote blood circulation, smooth the skin, and reduce the appearance of cellulite, but it needs to be used in combination with a lymphatic drainage massage in order for it to be effective," says aesthetician and lymphatic drainage specialist Leidy Maryory Valencia.

If you're unfamiliar with lymphatic drainage massages, the technique originated in Europe and later made its way to Brazil and Colombia. It is a gentle massage that encourages the natural drainage of the lymphatic system, which keeps body fluid levels in check and helps fight off infections. While lymphatic drainage alone can help with reducing water retention, inflammation, and bloating, incorporating wood therapy can significantly help when it comes to toning and sculpting the body.

While I know wood therapy lacks scientific research, I had no hesitation trying out the treatment for the first time a few years ago. After all, I'd grown up witnessing the real results it provided for the women in my community - including those who hadn't undergone plastic surgery. I got my first wood therapy session done a few years ago and was amazed by how much more defined my abs and butt looked afterward. Since then, I've occasionally had estheticians incorporate it into my lymphatic drainage massages. This year, I decided to start doing a few sessions with Valencia leading up to summer.

Valencia uses a specialized massage technique combined with hand-held wooden tools, such as rolling pins and vacuum-suction cups, to support lymphatic drainage and sculpt the body to appear more toned and smoother. These wooden tools come in various shapes and are often referred to as warmers, breakers, and drainers, each with a different sculpting function.

"I usually open the lymphatic system very gently using my hands first. The main ones are in the neck area, the clavicle area, and the plexus solar area," she says. "Before doing body sculpting with the wooden tools, we have to open the solar plexus area, because that's how we're going to start moving all the inflammation out of the body. I like to use the warmer tools to help warm up the body and then use the breaker tools to help break up the fat. We don't touch the lymph nodes with the breakers - we go straight to the fat. Then I use the drainers just to drain whatever fat was broken."

A wood therapy treatment is by no means a comfortable massage. Because of the wooden tools, it's a lot more vigorous than a regular lymphatic drainage massage. But it's also not particularly painful. Like dry brushing for the body and gua sha for the face, the motions use a light amount of force. My body was slightly red after my recent session with Valencia, but I was left with absolutely no bruising or scars.

"The good thing is none of the motion needs to be hard. You just want to use enough force to warm up the body, and you want to be careful that you're not being too aggressive on your bones or skin," Valencia says, adding that she likes to incorporate a cinnamon and clove body oil to provide a gentle glide and assist in reducing inflammation.

While there's no clear evidence to track when wood therapy originated, many lymphatic drainage experts believe it was an Indigenous practice in South America dating back centuries, and was used to drain, detox, and sculpt one's body.

"In Colombia, they used to carry loads of coffee from the coffee farms, and so they used to collect bamboo sticks and drained themselves after long hours of labor and it was something they did that was just common sense to them," says Valencia, who also likes to work with a real bamboo stick she purchased in Colombia. "My aunt used to do it after doing any type of physical labor. I've been seeing wood therapy being incorporated with lymphatic drainage massages for body sculpting my entire life in Colombia. But it became popular like dry brushing after lymphatic drainage massages became more popular."

After my wood therapy sessions, I always feel less inflamed, less bloated, and overall a lot lighter. Like regular lymphatic drainage massages, wood therapy is not a weight-loss treatment. But in combination with regular exercise and healthy, mindful eating, it can assist in tightening, toning, and sculpting the body. You also want to drink plenty of water following the treatment to help release toxins.

Incorporating wood therapy as part of my wellness routine not only keeps my body detoxed and sculpted, but it also makes me feel connected to my ancestral roots. It's a non-invasive treatment that, with consistency and healthy lifestyle habits, is a lot more effective than you'd think.

@popsugar.official
Summertime fine is an understatement! Our editor Johanna Ferreira is taking self-care to a whole new level in the form of ancestral wood therapy. According to aesthetician and lymphatic drainage specialist Leidy Maryory Valencia, "Wood therapy is an ancient technique for body sculpting using various handheld tools that help break down fat, promote blood circulation, smooth the skin, and reduce the appearance of cellulite. However, it needs to be used in combination with a lymphatic drainage massage in order to be effective." Read more about Johanna's session and join us as we celebrate our Sundays alongside Walmart. Link in bio. #WoodTherapy #Massage #TikTokBeauty #LymphaticDrainage #SelfCare
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Johanna Ferreira is the content director for PS Juntos. With more than 10 years of experience, Johanna focuses on how intersectional identities are a central part of Latine culture. Previously, she spent close to three years as the deputy editor at HipLatina, and she has freelanced for numerous outlets including Refinery29, Oprah magazine, Allure, InStyle, and Well+Good. She has also moderated and spoken on numerous panels on Latine identity.

I "Treated" Myself Once Every Day For a Week

Nandini Maharaj — Wed, 05 Jun 2024 05:15:02 -0700

There's a name for when you indulge in small and affordable pleasures, like having a pastry with your coffee. On TikTok, it's called little treat culture. Maybe you reward yourself with an iced latte for getting through an intense workout, or you book a spa appointment after finishing a big project at work.

As a former therapist, I know how important it is to practice self-care and celebrate your wins. Even though I've learned to be more financially responsible, my guilty pleasure is shopping for clothes. I love getting a new sweater in a bright color for spring or a cozy knit for winter. (In my mind, it's always sweater weather.) But sometimes these purchases leave me feeling more guilty than happy, so it's worth finding other ways to reward myself that don't cost as much.

As an experiment, I spent a week treating myself with something either free or inexpensive - once a day, every day. Here's how it went.

How I Treated Myself Every Day For a Week

Sunday

It's hard for me to escape the Sunday scaries. If you're not familiar with this term, it's that feeling of dread as you start thinking about what you need to accomplish during the week. After writing a to-do list, I treated myself to a nap with my dogs on the deck.

I didn't make note of the time or set an alarm to wake up. I just let myself fall asleep when I felt tired. All I noticed was the orange glow you see when you shut your eyes and the sound of birds chirping. I wasn't sure how long I slept but I woke up feeling more refreshed than when I nap on the couch.

Monday

It's a 10-minute walk to the building where I work. This Monday, I decided to take a detour and treat myself to a triple-chocolate cookie topped with chunks of white chocolate, which cost $2. When I got to my desk, instead of diving into emails right away, I spent a few minutes looking out the window at a view of the mountains. I had a bite of my cookie while I sipped on an iced coffee I had made at home. The cookie was still warm, and it was the perfect combination of crispy edges and soft center. I started feeling like I wanted a glass of milk, so I saved the rest of my treat for lunch.

Tuesday

I continued the food theme on Tuesday. Since I had a couple of meetings in the afternoon, I decided to treat myself to lunch. I went to a nearby restaurant and ordered $17 pasta with goat cheese and truffle cream. The restaurant was a bit noisy, so I ended up taking my meal back to the office.

I savored each bite of pasta while watching an episode of "Teen Mom: Family Reunion." I didn't look at my email or anticipate what I would say during forthcoming meetings. I just focused on eating and letting my food digest.

Wednesday

I love having two dogs; there's always someone to cuddle with. But sometimes I miss having one-on-one time with them, especially my french bulldog, Rusty, who helped me grieve the loss of my dog Dally.

Since I was working from home today, I was able to take my other bulldog, Frankie, for a solo walk in the morning. Then, I spent 30 minutes outside alone with Rusty. We played for a bit and then he fell asleep next to me. I didn't take any pictures or videos like I would normally. I wanted to focus on being present and enjoying our time together.

Thursday

I had a different take on treating myself this day: I decided that Thursday was a day to relieve myself of obligations. I declined a meeting with an acquaintance whom I hadn't spoken to in over a year. (They hadn't inquired about my availability. They just said that they had been too busy to reach out after starting a new job and requested a video chat at a specific time.)

Later at lunch, I had a slice of pizza and didn't eat the crust. It's my least favorite part of a pizza, but I always feel pressured to eat it because I grew up with family members who thought that wasting food is a sin.

Friday

To close out the workweek, I opted for some retail therapy. I bought a $30 concealer to replace a product that was almost finished. Since this makeup purchase felt more like a necessity, I also treated myself to a pair of sneakers that were on sale for $45. I have a few pairs of these shoes in neutral colors, so I thought it would be fun to get something I already love in a bright pink color. (Think Barbie pink.)

Saturday

For the last day of this experiment, I had a solo, mini movie marathon. I bought popcorn for $6 from a local movie theater and headed home to watch "Now and Then" followed by "The Baby-Sitters Club." Watching these movies was a back-to-school ritual I used to do every summer, even when I was in grad school.

I'm three times the age I was when I first saw these movies. Still, it was fun to reminisce and sing along to "Band of Gold" and "Knock Three Times" during "Now and Then." The original plan was to watch a movie I hadn't seen before - or at least something from this century - but I found myself agonizing about what to watch and instead went for something comforting and nostalgic.

Final Thoughts

The most eye-opening part of this week was how much I equate productivity with self-worth. I've always felt like I needed to do something to be deserving of a reward. This experiment pushed me to make each day a "treat day," regardless of what I accomplished. While I wouldn't necessarily treat myself every day of the week going forward, this experiment encouraged me to think of small habits I could incorporate into my weekly routines.

One habit is making time to rest at the start of the week rather than trying to catch up on sleep after a long workday. Other practices I would carry forward include incorporating more one-on-one time with my dogs and enjoying a decadent treat from time to time. This week also got me thinking about breaking people-pleasing habits: saying no to meetings or gatherings that don't serve me well is something I'd like to continue. And in the spirit of letting things go, making new purchases inspired me to go through my assortment of makeup and skin-care products and discard expired items.

All in all, I would recommend occasional treat days to help silence the internal debate on whether you're doing enough. Treats may seem frivolous, but they can provide joy and comfort, which we need and deserve.

Nandini Maharaj, PhD, is a trained therapist with a master's degree in counseling and a doctorate in public health. Her writing on health, wellness, relationships, and dogs has been featured by PS, Self, Well+Good, Business Insider, Apartment Therapy, the American Kennel Club, and more.

How Puzzles Can Help You Practice Mindfulness, According to a Psychologist

Victoria Moorhouse — Tue, 04 Jun 2024 13:25:03 -0700

For as long as I can remember, my household has been preoccupied with puzzles. Right now, it's a 2,000-piece challenge of a garden scene, complete with a few cats. I've never really been interested in helping out with the jigsaw task at hand. In fact, I'm usually the anxious Chatty Cathy distracting my family members from zoning in on the activity with my self-soothing rambles. When they do zone in, though - wow, they're calm, relaxed, and nearly in a meditative-like state.

Is it true, however, that puzzles have a calming, meditative effect? I reached out to a licensed clinical psychologist to find out.

Experts Featured in This Article

Michelle McCoy Barrett, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist, certified yoga instructor, and scientific advisory board member for R3SET supplements. Her expertise is in mindfulness and stress management.

"Puzzles are more than just a way to pass the time," Dr. Barrett says. "Particularly during periods of high stress, becoming immersed in a puzzle can be like practicing a mindful meditation - relaxing your mind and body, decreasing stress, and even slowing your heart rate and lowering your blood pressure."

Dr. McCoy Barrett continues by referencing meditation teacher and author Lodro Rinzler's words: "Mindfulness is the type where you bring your full mind to an object." With puzzles, Dr. Barrett notes that you're in the moment and focused on the task, but this particular task also hands over a sense of control. "During uncertain and stressful times, things that give you a sense of control, no matter how small, have a calming effect on the mind," she says.

But puzzling isn't the only pastime that can help you gain those mindfulness rewards. Dr. McCoy Barrett points to activities that consume your focus like crocheting, knitting, adult coloring books, painting by numbers, playing a musical instrument, or simply walking with mindful attention in nature.

"Hallmarks of these activities are time lapse (i.e. losing track of time), a calm mind, and lack of distracting thoughts," she says. "It's all about the process, not whether you consider yourself to be a game person or even particularly artistic. Just try to find immersive activities that require intense focus, attention, and behavior that leads to some form of completion, no matter how trivial. Engaging in these activities will allow your mind and body to relax and help you combat stress."

I'm not sure I'll ever get into puzzling, but hand me a set of colored pencils to de-stress, and I'm set.

Victoria Moorhouse is a beauty content director for Vox Media, where she oversees content for L'Oréal's Makeup.com and Skincare.com. She was previously a senior editor for PS, where she worked with partners to cover health, fitness, and wellness. She's also contributed many beauty articles to the site.

38 Simple Ideas For Taking Care of Yourself When You Need It Most

Hilary White — Tue, 04 Jun 2024 11:45:03 -0700

The best way to be able to care for others is to start with caring for yourself. Especially in the last few years, it's become more apparent than ever that self-care is essential to your mental health and overall wellbeing, and taking the time to listen to what you need and address it doesn't make you selfish, it makes you strong.

Some days, getting out of bed is a feat. Sometimes anxiety and depression can be crippling. Sometimes something terrible happens that you have little or no control over, but it rocks you to your core. In these moments, or hours, or days, you should take measures to care for yourself - mind, body, and heart. Everyone is different, so their version of self-care can might not be the same as yours, but here are some general tips for taking the time you need to heal.

Identify the activities and actions that make you feel good.
Find somewhere quiet and meditate as needed.
Reread one of your favorite books.
Start the day with a positive affirmation.
Watch shows that are funny or comforting.
Take time to yourself, away from others.
Get a full night's sleep regularly.
Do daily check-ins with yourself.
Put on fresh, comfortable clothing.
Light a candle and fill your home with your favorite scent.
Take a relaxing bath.
Visit your favorite spot in the city you live in.
Turn down invitations or cancel plans that bring you anxiety or stress.
Take a day off of work if you can to re-center yourself.
Write down a list of things you are thankful for.
Drink a glass of water.
Read inspiring quotes.
Spend time outside.
Listen to your favorite band or song on repeat.
Ask for help if you need it.
Do not force yourself to do anything you don't want to do.
Eat a balanced diet, but treat yourself to your favorite guilty pleasure.
Write down what you're thinking and feeling.
Breathe in and out.
Unplug from social media.
Exercise.
Listen to a calming playlist.
Pet an animal.
Do yoga.
Turn off your phone for a day.
Splurge on something that sparks joy.
Schedule an appointment with a therapist.
Watch your favorite movie or TV show from childhood.
Take a nap.
Do something that inspires and motivates you.
Make future plans for a trip or event you're excited about.
Spend time with a close friend or family member.
Remember that self-care is not optional, it's essential.

Hilary White is the former PS Living editor.

Everyone Could Benefit From This "Self-Care For Latinas" Book

Zayda Rivera — Tue, 04 Jun 2024 09:05:02 -0700

Raquel Reichard has been a voice in Latine media for more than 10 years. But what many may not know is how she has prioritized her self-care over the years and how that's had a direct impact on accomplishing her personal and professional goals. Now, she's sharing some of her secret sauce with others through her new book, "Self-Care For Latinas."

"'Self-care For Latinas' is an invitation to explore how you are feeling, mentally, physically, and spiritually," Reichard tells PS Juntos. "It's an appeal to prioritize your well-being holistically and realistically; and it's a toolkit providing you with data, resources, and practices to care for yourself wholly."

The 33-year-old Puerto Rican, who was born in Queens, NY, and raised in Orlando, FL, where she currently resides, includes more than 100 practices and exercises for readers to discover. Reichard shares that some will be new to readers while others are time-honored traditions.

"The book helps Latinas understand why we, specifically, must care for our mind, body, and spirit, and how we can do this no matter what our daily lives look like," she says.

Reichard describes self-care as a foreign language we must learn. Becoming fluent in the language of self-love helps to re-engineer the way we were brought up thinking about self-care. In fact, it was intentional for her to begin the book with a focus on destigmatizing mental health, releasing the guilt that comes with self-care, and unlearning marianismo, an idealized traditionally feminine gender role characterized by submissiveness, selflessness, chastity, hyperfemininity, and acceptance of machismo in men.

"For generations, these have been the cultural and social barriers that have stopped so many of us from caring for ourselves the way we need to be cared for," she says.

When Latinas take the lead on their mental health, it comes with its own set of challenges both internally and externally.

"If you have shame around your mental health, you will continue to ignore your untreated trauma," Reichard adds. "If you feel guilty about taking time for yourself because you saw people who look like you, and maybe raised you, sacrificing their every dollar and hour, then you may not invest time and money into your well-being."

But it doesn't stop there. Other cultural nuances have been attributed to placing mental health and self-care as a low priority in a Latina's life. Things like immigration status, financial income, sexual orientation, and even down to our complexion can leave Latinas feeling worn down, hurt, and unsure of what to do about it all.

"The microaggressions that Black and Indigenous Latinas experience daily look and feel different from that experienced by white and mestiza Latinas," she says. "The emotional wounds of trans and disabled Latinas may be different from those who are cis and able-bodied."

In the same way, Reichard says the lives of undocumented, lower-income Latinas are often a much heavier load than those who have legal status and lofty salaries.

"Despite these differences, so many of us are living with untreated generational traumas, bruised inner childs, resilience fatigue, and overall feelings of unworthiness," she says. "Many of us exist within cultures that instill us with competing values and messages."

While self-care won't right systemic wrongs or solve all (or even most) of the issues worrying you, Reichard says, it will allow Latinas a moment to identify what is needed and not needed in their lives. Understanding this will help to better navigate life in ways that serve, heal, and nourish themselves.

Reichard writes passionately about self-love and self-care because it is on the top of her priority list, and she lives and breathes the benefits of this lifestyle. As the deputy director of Somos, Refinery29's channel by and for Latines, Reichard's demanding career makes prioritizing self-care a necessity.

"I wake up early so that I can prioritize my time with myself before my workday begins when my mind, body, and spirit feel fresh," she explains.

For a well-rounded approach to self-care, Reichard focuses on morning routines to fuel her day, and evening routines to help her wind down and conclude her days in peace. This may include taking a warm bath, going to bed early, reading a book, watching a rom-com, dancing salsa in her living room, or calling a friend. These routines aren't meant to be overwhelming or add to your to-do list. It could be as little as one hour dedicated to you, and that can be enough of a self-care boost to keep you balanced, mentally healthy, and free. After all, self-care is a form of resistance against a society that deems rest as lazy and unmotivated.

Reichard aligns with a famous quote by Audre Lorde, a self-described "Black, lesbian, mother, warrior, poet," who said: "Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare."

"The reason it's political warfare, the reason it's resistance, is because it pushes back against the white supremacist capitalist patriarchy that runs on all of us, but especially women of racially and ethnically marginalized identities - self-immolation," Reichard says. "Self-care, which is also tied to community care, is a divestment in the white supremacist capitalist patriarchy and an investment in ourselves and our folks."

So the next time you decide to begin your morning with meditation, writing in a gratitude journal, doing some yoga, walking, dancing, or simply sitting in silence while sipping on a great cup of coffee, know that you are taking care of you, something previous generations never had the chance or privilege of enjoying. "Take what serves you and table what doesn't," Reichard advises. "As I get older, self-care for me is really just being able to listen and understand what my whole self - my mind, body, and spirit - is communicating to me, and heeding this wisdom."

Zayda Rivera is a former PS Contributor. She has been a professional writer for more than 20 years. Z is a certified Reiki Master-Teacher, yoga and Zumba instructor, mindfulness and meditation guide, tarot reader, and spiritual mentor.

Are We Kidding Ourselves Into Believing "Self-Care" Is Fun?

Ariel Baker — Mon, 24 Apr 2023 15:45:03 -0700

Over the last few years, there's been a big trend in the use of beauty products, routines, and treatments being branded as "self-care." From the TikTok-famous "elevated shower" to having entire days dedicated to "maintenance," it's hard to scroll on any social media platform without being bombarded with information on how something can help you to live your most optimal life.

This makes sense, considering many people found hyperfocusing on their routines during the COVID-19 pandemic as their only form of refuge and control. Here's the thing: some might find getting a weekly manicure or doing their multistep skin-care routine at night relaxing. I, however, do not.

I know, I know; bad beauty editor. But if I'm being honest, so much of my beauty routine feels like a chore with dire consequences if ignored, as opposed to something that calms my mind and centers me after a long day. Every night, when I'm on the fourth step of my regimen with three more to go, body ready to levitate straight into bed, what is it that forces me to keep going? The answer: this is supposed to be my me time - no matter how torturous and not "for me" it actually feels.

This goes beyond a nightly postshower ritual. Everything from doing my nails to figuring out which hairstyle I want to do next feels like an obligation that I absolutely must keep doing . . . or else. I don't know what this dire consequence is, but it's almost as if I'm not functioning at my highest potential unless I keep a strict hair, nail, and facial schedule, among so many other things - and I'm not the only one. "My beauty-related self-care involves getting my nails done, tinting my eyebrows, and self-tanning," POPSUGAR's staff writer and social producer Renee Rodriguez says. "It's basically anything that will make me feel good once it's done."

Still, Rodriguez admits that she finds these tasks laborious. "I wish I could drop my hands off at the nail salon and pick them up in an hour - same with all my other self-care activities. It's so time-consuming, and the actual act of doing it is a f*cking hassle." She even admits there have been countless instances where she's realized in the middle of the night before a big event that she needs to do a beauty-related task and ended up doing it in a panic, making the experience feel like anything but self-care. Yet she keeps up with it because it makes her feel great in the end. "When you look good, you feel good," Rodriguez says. There is some truth to that: when you love the way you look, your self-esteem gets a boost. But Rodriguez admits that her routine probably wouldn't be as excessive if it weren't for outside influences. "Eyebrow tinting was the first beauty-related 'self-care' that I ever did, and it was after an excessive amount of waxing in sixth grade," she says. "For everything else, though, I definitely think social media, friends, and family influenced me into wanting to do them."

Self-care looks different for everybody - some people may actually enjoy the process of doing their hair, nails, and makeup regularly, but it's also OK if you don't. Not every aspect of your routine, beauty or otherwise, has to be in the name of self-improvement. At its core, "self-care" is supposed to be about taking care of yourself and showing up as your most authentic self. If having your hair curled daily, wearing a fresh Gel-X set, and getting a spray tan like clockwork allows you to do so, then by all means, enjoy yourself to the fullest extent. However, if you prefer to be more low-key, you're not doing anything wrong. If at any point your beauty routine starts to feel like a chore rather than a treat, maybe it's time to take a step back and think about what the term really means to you.