POPSUGAR Sex

Popsugar’s 2026 Sex Awards Submission Guidelines

PS Editors — Mon, 13 Jul 2026 06:00:01 -0700

We've got something spicy in the works! Popsugar is kicking off its first-ever 2026 Sex Awards in celebration of the most pleasure-inducing products on the market. From vibrators to smutty books, lingerie, lube, and games - there's a lot to feel good about in the pleasure department.

Our goal? To find the most unforgettable sex products to indulge in and delight in this cuffing season. The winners will be selected by our trusted team of Popsugar editors and industry experts. These journalists and subject-matter experts will crown the 15 hottest items of the last five years that they reach for again and again.

Eager to learn more? Here's everything you need to know about submitting products for Popsugar's 2026 Sex Awards.

How to Submit Products for Consideration

Brands can fill out an entry form to submit their products for consideration by the panel of judges (members of the PS team). For Popsugar's 2026 Sex Awards, we will be accepting submissions from July 13 at 9:00 a.m. EST until August 3 at 5 p.m. EST.

Here are a few things to remember before entering a submission:

Please fill out one entry form per product. For multiple submissions, fill out one form per entry and submit a separate fee for each product. There is no need to submit separate forms for multiple shades of the same product.
We require a fee of $150 to be paid for each product submission via the Stripe link. You'll need to include your Stripe payment confirmation ID in the submission form. The fee is nonrefundable.
Both the payment and entry form must be submitted by the deadline; Popsugar is not responsible for payments absent an accompanying entry.
Late submissions will not be accepted under any circumstances.
You can submit any new product launched between January 1, 2021, and August 31, 2026. There are no exceptions.
Limited-edition products will not be considered.
After we review all submissions, we will be in touch about samples for any products that our judges are considering but have not previously had the chance to test.

See here for the Popsugar Sex Awards terms and conditions.

Next Steps: Samples and Testing

After we review all submissions, we will be in touch about samples for any products that our team is considering but has not previously had the chance to test.

We will not be able to test products that arrive after our sample deadline, so please be on time. From there, our editors will begin testing (and re-testing) to find the very best. Only winning products will be notified at the time of publication.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: When are the winners being announced?

A: Winners will be announced mid-September.

Q: What if the product is launching within the acceptable time frame, but no product link exists?

A: This is OK, as long as you still have samples for editors to test. The product will need to have at least a preorder link by August 31.

Q: Are reformations accepted?

A: Products must be newly launched between January 1, 2021, and August 31, 2026. Reformations are OK as long as substantial changes were made to the product, but simply the "revitalization" or repositioning of a product is not eligible.

Q: Are new shades or colorways of existing products eligible?

A: Yes, they qualify.

Q: Are limited-edition products accepted?

A: No, limited-edition products are ineligible.

Q: Are the awards open to UK brands or just US?

A: The product/brand can be UK-based, but it must be widely available to shop in the US.

Q: Are apps/digital products being considered?

A: Yes, product-dependent. We have a "Games" category, which can include apps and digital product submissions.

Q: Are supplements eligible?

A: No, supplements are not eligible.

Q: Are men's and women's products both eligible?

A: Yes.

If you have any further questions, you can reach us at popsugarawards@popsugar.com.

Thanks!

Last Call for Prime Day Sex Deals Up to 60% Off, From Lelo to Womanizer

Balim Tezel — Fri, 26 Jun 2026 07:15:03 -0700

Whether you're looking to pleasure yourself, spice things up, or have fun with a partner, Amazon Prime Day has some genuinely great deals on sexual wellness products that are still live - but not for long. I curated a mix of bestselling picks that includes everything from a Katy Perry-approved vibrator to a romantic bra. With countless deals going strong on the final day, it can be hard to know what's actually worth buying - and that's where I come in. I've handpicked the best picks available right now (all at least 20 percent off), prioritizing products I know well and have written about before, along with a few new finds I think you'll love. Trust me, I've been doing this for years and I know the deals that are actually worth it. Don't wait too long - the final hours of Prime Day start now.

Our Favorite Prime Day Sex Deals

A playful little gift: Sex Checks at $8, originally $10
A lube that plays well with toys and partners: Astroglide Liquid at $9, originally $12
A sexy lingerie moment: Lilosy Floral Mesh Lingerie Set at $18, originally $20
A romantic bra: Wingslove Sexy Lace Bra at $17, originally $30
A shower head made for two: Boona The Original Tandem Shower at $119, originally $199
A Katy Perry-approved vibrator: Womanizer Premium 2 at $151, originally $189

Looking for even more sales? Shop more of Popsugar's editor-curated Amazon Prime Day picks and subscribe to our newsletter for more shopping recommendations. Plus, make sure you sign up for Amazon Prime so that you don't miss a moment of the sale.

Update on June 26, 2026 at 10:15AM ET: I made sure all of our Amazon Prime Day sex deals are in stock and still on sale.

The Best Sex Toys to Shop This Year, According to Sex Experts

Taylor Andrews — Wed, 24 Jun 2026 06:05:02 -0700

Valentine's Day isn't just about chocolates and roses - it's also an ideal moment to upgrade your pleasure routine. Whether you're shopping solo or with a partner in mind, today's sex toys are designed to meet a wide range of wants and needs, across all genders and sexual orientations.

For example, if you want to find an anal sex toy, you have the option to go with anal beads, butt plugs, or anything with a flared base, which all offer different sensations. If you want the best sex toy that will stimulate your clitoris, you can go for a simple bullet vibrator or opt for something a little bit more intense, like an oral sex toy. And if you want something that offers both external and internal stimulation, you can try a rabbit vibrator.

But of course, we understand if you haven't tried any of the options above or if you simply don't know where to start. Good news for you, that's where we come in.

Whether it's your first time buying a sex toy or you're looking for a new vibrator to add to your bedside drawer, we've curated a list of the best sex toys on the market, according to sex experts. From dildos to G-spot vibrators to clit suckers and more, our product recommendations include a diverse range of options that you'll love whether you're an experienced masturbator or not.

According to our experts, here are some of the best sex toys to shop ahead of Valentine's Day. Enjoy!

The Best Sex Toys

Curved glass for exploration: Gläs Mr. Swirly Glass Dildo at $20, originally $66
Enjoy 20 percent off this award-winning vibrator with code POPSUGAR20: Smile Makers The Firefighter Vibrator at $65
Strengthen your pelvic floor: Biird Yonii Eggs at $90, originally $119
Rumbly anal vibrations: Je Joue Vesta Vibrating Plug at $67, originally $79
Small but powerful bullet: Playboy Pleasure Bunny Bunch Bullet Vibrator at $65
Sleek suction favorite: Satisfyer High Fashion at $75
Perfect for dry humping: Dame Pom Vibrator at $82, originally $103
Targeted G-spot pleasure: Playboy Pleasure Aurelie G-Spot Tickler Vibrator at $84
Sonic clitoral stimulation: LELO Sona 3 Cruise at $125, originally $179
Dual clit and G-spot play: Womanizer Duo Clitoral & G-Spot Dual Stimulator at $149, originally $219
App-controlled rabbit vibrator: We-Vibe Nova 2 Rechargeable Rabbit Vibrator at $127, originally $159
Cult-favorite wand: Magic Wand Rechargeable at $127
Warmth and suction combo: Mila Aura Pleasure Accessory at $135, originally $180
Smart orgasm-tracking tech: Lioness Smart Vibrator at $189, originally $229
Ultra-quiet clit sucker: Womanizer Next Clitoral Stimulator at $183, originally $229

Experts Featured in This Article

Danielle Bezalel, MPH, is the creator, executive producer, and host of "Sex Ed with DB."
Jessica O'Reilly, PhD, is a sex and relationship expert at sex toy brands Womanizer and We-Vibe."
Sasha Andrews, is a sex expert at HerahHaven.ai, an AI erotica site.
Carol Queen, PhD, is an author, educator, and the staff sexologist for sex-toy retailer Good Vibes.
Nicole Moore is a relationship therapist and founder of the "Love Works Method," a program that has helped people find lasting love fast.
Marla Renee Stewart is a sex expert for Lovers and co-author of "The Ultimate Guide to Seduction and Foreplay."
Tyomi Morgan is a certified sexologist, pleasure coach, and the creator of The Cowgirl Workout, a workout that helps people feel more confident in the cowgirl sex position.
Suzannah Weiss is a sex expert and the resident sexologist for Biird, a female-led pleasure brand. She is also the author of "Subjectified: Becoming a Sexual Subject."

11 Editor-Approved Sex Gifts That Won't Disappoint in the Bedroom

Haley Lyndes — Thu, 19 Feb 2026 11:35:02 -0800

Whether you have a new flame or just want to boost the bed chem, sexy gifts can be a fun way to make the first move. Depending on what your S.O. is into, you can deliver pleasure-filled gifts that are innocuous enough to be opened in front of the family or gifts that are intended to be unwrapped without an audience. I curated a mix that includes everything from an editor-tested sex toy and arousal serum to a Mulberry silk robe and a fragrant, French bubble bath that's perfectly indulgent. If your idea of a sexy couples gift is one that focuses on the actual act or a romantic gesture (my kind of foreplay), there's something here for everyone.

The Best Sexy Gifts

A water-based lubricant: Nixit Water-Based Personal Lubricant at $16
A playful way to initiate intimacy: Why Don't We Spice It Up Game at $32
Set the mood with a fragrant candle warmer: Xjzjy Candle Warmer Lamp at $32
A tingling, warming serum for foreplay: Epiphany Clit Arousal Serum at $34
A lacy bra she'll wear on repeat: Savage X Fenty Romantic Corded Lace Unlined Underwire Bra at $35, originally $60
French bubble bath that smells incredible: L'Occitane Lavender Foaming Bath at $42
The best massage accessory: Kate McLeod The Sex Stone Sensual Massage Bar & Intimacy Oil at $48
A sex toy for him that pleases you: Maude Band at $52
A pillow to get you into position: Liberator Wedge Intimate Sex Positioning Pillow at $89, originally $96
A slippery-soft robe: Quince 100% Washable Silk Robe at $120, originally $272
A clit-sucking toy that's a guaranteed pleaser: Womanizer Next at $179, originally $229

The Sex Lives of Olympic Athletes

Elizabeth Gulino — Wed, 11 Feb 2026 14:50:02 -0800

Every four years, the greatest athletes in the world come together to compete at the highest possible level their sport has to offer: the Olympics. This year, thousands of athletes, from figure skaters to snowboarders to bobsledders, have poured into the Games' host city ready to compete for the gold, follow their dreams, and, apparently, have sex.

It's not exactly a secret that athletes in the Olympic Village are horny - in fact, they've admitted it themselves. Soccer player Hope Solo told ESPN in 2012 that "there's a lot of sex going on" at the Olympics. Josh Lakatos, a US trap shooter, even revealed that he's "never witnessed so much debauchery in [his] entire life," while swimmer Ryan Lochte added that he'd guess around 70 to 75 percent of Olympians partake in between-the-sheets activities. "Hey, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do," he said.

While the Olympic Games are thousands of years old, the infamous Olympic Village has only been around for 100 years - but the lore of what goes on inside the private, athletes-only residence halls runs deep. It's been said in GQ that someone once "woke up in the village one morning with nothing but a baguette on," and even Grindr allegedly crashed during the 2012 Games in London, according to The Daily Mirror.

Experts Featured in This Article

Kelly Campbell, PhD, is a psychology professor at California State University, San Bernardino who has studied the link between love and athletic performance.

And we get it: these athletes are young, hot, amped up on pre-competition energy and obviously at their athletic peak, meaning that getting down and dirty in the Village is pretty much unavoidable. Psychology professor Kelly Campbell, PhD, thinks so. She spent the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver interviewing Olympians inside the Village and studying the effects that love and romance have on athletic performance. Based on her interactions, Dr. Campbell says that the athletes (at least, some of them) are definitely having sex.

"You can attribute it to a lot of things. If you think about who's there, it's people who are relatively matched in age, they're all extremely physically fit, they have these characteristics that are already going to create this heightened environment," she tells PS.

She also interviewed people who worked in the Olympic Village, including cafeteria and food delivery workers to get the inside scoop. "As the Games progress and people are there longer, [the workers said] you start to see these little partnerships happening," she says.

Before attending the 2020 Tokyo Games (which were held in 2021 due to the pandemic), Ali Gibson, a basketball player representing Puerto Rico, tells PS that finding out what goes on in the Village was one of the things she was most looking forward to - besides competing, of course. "The Village is everything," she says. "Everyone's talking about how all of the athletes are going to interact and be around each other, so that was definitely something I was looking forward to."

After attending the Games, Gibson says that most athletes are super focused on competing - that is, until their event ends. "They let loose after that," she says.

Like, really let loose, according to Viktoria*, a Tokyo 2020 Olympic athlete who requested anonymity. "By the time my competition was over, I had only one thing on my mind - to hook up and release this pent up energy," she tells PS. "It's crazy in the Village. Athletes download Tinder just for those two weeks and set their location to the few [miles] radius of the Olympic Village, and both men and women are always on the lookout for a good catch."

"There's another mini Olympics happening - the hookup Olympics."

"Amongst your closest friends in your team, there's another mini Olympics happening - the hookup Olympics," she adds. In that iteration of the games, some events consisted of who can kiss the most people in one night, who can get a gold medalist into bed, and who can find out which sports team had the best performance off the field - and in the bedroom. "It's the most fun ever," she says.

"Because the Olympics comes around only once every four years, you almost feel like this is your one moment to go all in and experience the craziness," Viktoria adds. "We would have parties every night once we were done with the competition and I would always end up with someone new. It's definitely one of the craziest experiences of my life."

Both Viktoria and Gibson's first Olympics was Tokyo 2020, which came with a new rule: no leaving the Village. "Usually what happens is athletes throw parties," Gibson says. "[They] rent out penthouses or whatever and throw parties around town at restaurants at night, but you couldn't leave the Village because of COVID unless you were going to a game or practice, so all of the parties had to be handled in the Village."

And no, those "anti-sex beds" (which were debunked) didn't stop the athletes from fornicating, either. Viktoria says being forced to stay in one place made the athlete's quarters feel like the "Love Island" villa. "There was definitely still intimacy happening throughout that Village, for sure," Gibson says. (Fortunately for the 2026 Winter Olympics specifically, it seems the Olympics committee ditched these cardboard beds all together, according to a TikTok shared by Team Great Britain's ice dancer Phebe Bekker.)

On what surprised Viktoria most during her time in the Village, she recalls, "Some athletes who are married or in committed long term relationships decide that the rules don't apply in the Village." She adds, "Not all of them, but some. My friends and I always made sure we did a few background social media checks on the athletes to make sure we weren't hooking up with married athletes."

"People go wild. Australia always has the best parties after, and so does Great Britain," says Hannah*, a five-time paralympic swimmer who requested anonymity. "It's wild. You don't think that everyone is hooking up, but everyone is literally hooking up. And you come to find out after the Games that some people were hooking up with multiple people."

While Hannah says she didn't partake in the frenzy of Olympic hookups, she did get to bring in her boyfriend (now husband) to do the deed. "It was fun to bring [him] into the Village just to say I did that in the Village," she says.

While there are athletes who certainly have sex at the Olympics, the happenings in the Village aren't as salacious and scandalous as the media makes them seem. There are definitely opportunities to let your freak flag fly, like Viktoria says, but that's not the reality for what appears to be the majority of athletes. "It's not that crazy," Kyra Condie, a US climber, tells PS. "My expectations were that it was going to be totally insane, and I think, depending on how involved you are in it, it's not that crazy. I'm not walking around a corner and seeing people hook up."

The intrigue we have about the Olympic Village may have erupted into the obsession that it is today back when the condom program was first introduced in 1988. Although the aim was to bring awareness to HIV and AIDS, instead, the public became more interested in whether or not those thousands (and thousands!) of condoms were actually being used. And while there isn't a way to figure out exactly how many condoms end up in the trash, the 2000 Sydney Games had to have 20,000 extra condoms shuttled in after the first 50,000 wasn't enough. It's reported that this year, 10,000 rubbers - along with packets of lube - were sent to the Milan 2026 Winter Games.

Sex, in general, is a topic that's both taboo and a significant part of our everyday culture. "Americans have a very strange relationship with sex," Dr. Campbell says. "We shouldn't talk too much about it in school, but yet we can use it to sell hamburgers and plaster it all over billboards. It's partly that dichotomy that makes it interesting because if it weren't secretive, it wouldn't be as interesting."

But it's also the fact that we, the public, don't know what goes on in the Olympic Village that makes its intrigue all the more intense. "We see in the public what's going on with their sport, but we don't see anything else," Dr. Campbell says. "Everyone's wondering, what about the rest? We don't have that lens, it's private, so people are going to have an interest in it."

"What I'd like the public to understand is that when you're in an elite, high performance sport, there's many days, weeks, and months of the year when we're separated from normal life and everyday society," Viktoria says. "When you're in the competitive season, you don't get to meet anyone new or have a normal social life. For us, being in the Olympic Village is like having all of those missed out opportunities concentrated into two weeks. It's not like we're doing anything out of the ordinary!"

*Names have been changed.

Elizabeth Gulino is a freelance journalist who specializes in topics relating to wellness, sex, relationships, work, money, lifestyle, and more. She spent four and a half years at Refinery29 as a senior writer and has worked for House Beautiful, Complex, and The Hollywood Reporter.

This Valentine's Day, You Deserve a "Queen Night"

Taylor Andrews — Thu, 05 Feb 2026 09:45:01 -0800

You don't need a last name like Bridgerton to feel like royalty this Valentine's Day. If you want to be treated like a queen in the bedroom - and I mean, eagerly and utterly devoured by your partner - it starts by hosting your very own "queen night."

As the name implies, a queen night is an experience devoted entirely to you and your pleasure: You set the pace, decide the moves, and simply let yourself receive. Though Valentine's Day is often sold as a holiday dedicated to celebrating the love between both partners, a queen night puts the focus on one person. Why? Because for many women, it can make sex that much more enjoyable.

"Many people find it hard to be present during sexual activity because they're focused on pleasing their partner or being good enough for someone else," sex expert Nicole Moore says. "A queen night is a great opportunity for the receiving partner to focus on the sensations in their own body, since they're not focused on pleasing someone else."

By removing the pressure and allowing yourself to fully receive, you, my queen, can finally let your body feel what it's supposed to feel during sex. And if that doesn't sound like the best gift for Valentine's Day, I don't know what does. Below, Moore explains how to host the perfect queen night.

Experts Featured in This Article

Nicole Moore is a relationship therapist and founder of the Love Works Method, a program that has helped people find lasting love fast.

What Is a Queen Night?

A queen night is all about catering to one partner's preferences and fantasies. "It's a romantic ritual where couples spend a night focused solely on one partner's pleasure," Moore explains. "One partner gets to practice fully immersing themselves in pleasing their partner while the other partner gets to practice fully receiving pleasure." (Though it's called a "queen night," know that this term is completely gender neutral regardless of how you identify. If you prefer, you can use "king night" or "royalty night" instead.)

Of course, there are many benefits to hosting a queen night, but the main one is that it helps one partner learn how to receive. "The purpose is to expand your capacity to receive pleasure and to be present and in your body during intimacy," Moore adds.

"The purpose is to expand your capacity to receive pleasure"

During sex, people may sometimes focus and prioritize their partner's pleasure over their own. But during a queen night, you don't have to worry about reciprocating, whether your partner is enjoying themselves, or if you are taking too long to orgasm. "For some people, sex often feels transactional or like they're going through the motions," Moore says. "A queen night is their chance to experience what sex and intimacy is like when there's no expectations and only receiving."

How to Host the Perfect Queen Night

Hosting a queen night for your partner is a great way to love on them. "It shows them that you're paying attention to their needs and that your giving to them is not conditional," Moore says. Here's how to actually pull it off so it feels intentional.

Start with a conversation. Tell your partner you want to host a queen night for them. Ask them if there are any fantasies, sex toys, kinks, or sex positions they'd like to try. If there's nothing new they want to try, ask them how and what they would like to receive. "A great way to set the mood is to have the receiving partner write a desires list of how they want to feel, any words they want to hear, and any ways they'd like to receive pleasure," Moore adds.

Set the scene. When it's time to have your queen night, make it about more than sex. Clean the sheets, create a sex playlist with their favorite songs, cook their favorite dinner beforehand, and adjust the lighting. "One of the best ways to set the mood for a king or queen night is to make the night about more than just sex," Moore says.

Take your time. Once the scene has been set, it's time for your partner's queen night. Let things unfold slowly, and stay present by communicating with your partner as the sex happens. Remind your partner that there's no rush or pressure to orgasm and that you just want them to feel good.

Indulge in aftercare. When your partner is satiated, it's time to indulge in their favorite forms of aftercare: cuddling, watching TV, going on a walk, cooking food, ordering food, etc. Remind your partner that there's no need for a follow-up performance. Talk about how your partner felt, what they enjoyed, and what they'd like for next time. "The concept of receiving can often be a triggering one," Moore says. "Don't be surprised if deep emotions or tears come up at some point during the queen night - even if they're tears of joy."

Though queen nights are great ways to connect with your partner, they're not something you have to schedule every week. Regardless of how often you have them, look at them as a reset for your sex life - a reminder that you're allowed to enjoy sex without worrying about reciprocating or being fair. Even the women of "Bridgerton" would likely agree that the most powerful people in the room are the ones who know how to receive (. . . and what a pinnacle feels like).

Taylor Andrews is the senior balance editor at Popsugar, specializing in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, travel, and more. With eight years of editorial experience, Taylor has a strong background in content creation and storytelling. Prior to joining PS in 2021, she worked at Cosmopolitan.

A Case for Fingering

Taylor Andrews — Thu, 29 Jan 2026 06:05:01 -0800

Once upon a time, fingering was one of the main characters of sex. When it happened in your parents' basement or the backseat of a car, it felt the way pleasure is supposed to feel: hot, new, and exciting. But somewhere along the way, fingering got lost in the kiss-to-fuck pipeline. It became an afterthought, something many of us demoted to a brief, optional stop during foreplay. And that, my friends, is a travesty.

When fingering is done well, it is the sex. It's intimate, low-pressure, and capable of delivering some great orgasms. Sure, some people are bad at it (and that's probably how it lost its appeal in the first place), but fingering doesn't deserve to be written off. If anything, it's worthy of a comeback tour. With help from sex expert Nicole Moore, here's how to put some respect back on its name.

Experts Featured in This Article

Nicole Moore is a relationship therapist and founder of the Love Works Method, a program that has helped people find lasting love fast.

A Case for Fingering

We should be incorporating our fingers more during sex for one simple reason: because it feels good. Whether by itself or in combination with a tongue, fingering is a great way to warm up the body for more pleasure or reach orgasm right then and there. "Adding non-intercourse forms of pleasure into your sex life can make it feel more well-rounded and interesting," Moore says. Plus, it can often feel better for those with tighter vaginal canals or conditions like endometriosis, she adds.

Unlike a penis or sex toy, fingers tend to offer more control and precision, too. Depending on what you like, they can go slower or faster, apply more or less pressure, move to the right or to the left, and generally respond better to what your body wants in real time. The problem? Too many people don't know how to properly finger.

According to Moore, it starts by learning the "come hither" motion. "Insert two fingers into the vagina with your palm facing upward and glide them back toward you while applying pressure upward," she says. "This movement can really stimulate the G-spot and provide intensely pleasurable sensations."

With this in mind, avoid fingering in a straight in-and-out motion. Instead, curl your fingers. The motion is less about how fast you move in-and-out and more about how you stimulate the vaginal wall once your finger(s) are inside. "Favor slower movements with more controlled pressure," Moore adds.

To really elevate your finger game, combine the fingering motion with your tongue or a sex toy on the clitoris. (Yes, this is the two-fingers-and-a-tongue combo you may have seen on TikTok lately.) As you move your fingers inside, apply pressure to your partner's clitoris via a tongue or sex toy for a blended orgasm.

Like many things, fingering takes practice. What works for one partner may not work for the next. And since exploration is half the fun of sex in the first place, that's kind of the point. At the end of the day, better sex isn't always about adding something new to your routine. Sometimes, it's about revisiting something, even if you haven't done it since high school.

This Showerhead Designed For Masturbating Is All I’m Using This Valentine’s Day

Hayley Folk — Wed, 28 Jan 2026 15:56:02 -0800

In this day and age, folks with vulvas have seemingly infinite ways to experience intense orgasms. From buying a new vibrator to exploring spicy suggestions from TikTok, there are truly so many ways to reach an orgasm. But sometimes you might just want to get back to the tried-and-true basics of masturbating with your hand - or, even better, with a trusty showerhead.

Yes, like many people who were born in the '90s, one of the first ways I explored masturbation was not only by using my hand but utilizing the removable, hand-held showerhead at the suggestion of a friend in the tenth grade. With a lack of discreet, easy ways to get my hands on innovative and beginner-friendly toys, I had to get creative with what I had.

But now, as we enter into a more sex-positive world, companies are taking the tried-and-true to the next level - and that includes designing a fancy showerhead made specifically with your orgasms in mind. Enter: The Womanizer Wave ($59, originally $119).

Created by Womanizer, the Womanizer Wave is the first product of its kind: a hand-held showerhead that yes, you can shower with, but more importantly, you can also use for masturbation. After hearing about the Wave, my first thought was "I can't wait to try this." And shortly after, I tried and reviewed what may have become one of my favorite innovations to ever hit the market - and yes, I'm using it on Valentine's Day. Here's what to know.

What I Love About The Womanizer Wave

When I received the Womanizer Wave and opened the box, the first thing I noticed and loved about it was that it doesn't look like a sex toy, like the obvious-looking Gläs Mr. Swirly Glass Dildo ($20, originally $66). It looks like a normal showerhead. So for anyone who installs it in their shower, no one would ever know it's also made for self-pleasure. And speaking of installing, this sex toy was easy to configure. It took me only a minute or two to put it together, and then it was ready for action.

When I first tried the Wave out, I noticed (and majorly appreciated) its different functionalities. As someone who is eco-conscious, I was worried I'd be using too much water during my masturbation sessions. But the Wave actually saves water; with EcoSmart tech, it allows users to use 60 percent less water than conventional showerheads, while still being able to make me orgasm. (A win!)

I also loved that using The Wave isn't too intense of an experience. I personally don't tend to like sex toys that make me reach climax too quickly, and using The Wave felt like a journey to an orgasm vs. an immediate arrival. Anyone interested in using this plaything could really plan a date night for themselves, with wine near the tub and reading their favorite book, while also using The Wave intermittently through their self-exploration.

It was hard to imagine what a clitoral-stimulating showerhead would look like or how it would function, but luckily, we live in a world where we don't have to.

What's Worth Noting About The Womanizer Wave

As the first-ever combined showerhead and clitoral water massager, I had high expectations for The Womanizer Wave. Having been created by bathroom experts Hansgrohe and the pleasure specialists at Womanizer, I found that the Wave has several things worth noting.

For one, it has three different water jets to switch back and forth from. One is a steady shower stream, called Powder Rain, which you'd likely use to actually wash your hair. Then, there's the first stream, called a PleasureWhirl, which moves the water in a circular motion to hit just the right spots. The last stream, called the Pleasure Jet, is more of a steady and concentrated stream of water. And with all of these streams, the user can adjust the water pressure with the Intensity Slider button, which moves up and down on the showerhead handle.

Another bonus: the shape of the showerhead was compact and easy to hold, while the long hose made it easy to move around with it in the shower. If you want to sit down in the bathtub (like I did) or you prefer to stand up or crouch on the edge, it's not hard to take the showerhead with you.

Who Is the Womanizer Wave Best For?

After using The Womanizer Wave, I think that while it's intended for vulva-havers, anyone could use it if they wanted to. It all depends on what you're into. While it is specifically made for clitoral stimulation, folks of all genders and genitalia could get creative with it and use it to explore other erogenous zones.

Is the Womanizer Wave Worth It?

At 50 percent off, I'd say the answer is yes. Though, it depends on if you're someone who regularly uses a showerhead to masturbate or enjoys masturbating in the shower. Personally, I don't typically reach for my showerhead often because I tend to prefer trying out spicy new toys in the comfort of my bed. But for those who love the feeling of water and a good shower masturbation session, I definitely think it could be worth the price.

It's also worth mentioning that your chances of reaching an orgasm while using the Wave are quite high. When compared to using a traditional showerhead, 88 percent of users have said it's more arousing, 86 percent said it's more suitable for masturbating, and 73 percent say it's also easier to climax, according to Womanizer data. All that to say, if you're into it, it could be worth making the splash.

Additional Details About The Womanizer Wave

The Womanizer Wave is not only easy to install, but it also comes in three color options: chrome, black and white. So if you're worried about color coordination in your bathroom, it makes it easy to find a match. When you order the Wave, it also comes with a five-year warranty, free shipping, and of course, discreet packaging. All in all? One of the best, most innovative sex toys you can buy.

Where Is the Womanizer Wave Available?

The Womanizer Wave is available on the brand's site and Amazon.

Rating

Hayley Folk (she/her) is a freelance writer, editor, and podcast host based in New York City. She is the host of the "Naked Folk" podcast - a sexual wellness and relationships podcast - and she writes for major publications about the LGBTQ+ community, travel, lifestyle, sex, and wellness. In 2022, she received her master of fine arts in creative writing from The New School.

How to Have Sex With Your Friends (and Not Fuck It Up)

Emma Glassman-Hughes — Wed, 28 Jan 2026 08:20:02 -0800

Children of the '90s have three core fears: quicksand, getting stuffed into a locker, and having sex with a close friend. Our elders in film and TV warned of these canonically agonizing ways to die, be publicly humiliated, and worse - to ruin a friendship. And while few of us have ever had to get unstuck from a sinkhole or unfold our limbs from a cold, metal container, many have attempted friend sex, and many more have thought about trying it. In a survey of 2,000 US daters last year, dating app Flirtini found that two-thirds of women had fantasized about sleeping with a friend, and more than half had fantasized about a friend while hooking up with someone else.

But it's hard to shake the stigma that surrounds sleeping with your friends. Either it will lead to a deep, life-altering romance, or it will create an unbreachable rift in the friendship - at least that's what we've been told to believe about adding sex to a platonic dynamic (or the less savory term, friends-with-benefits). If we were to trust the media we consumed as kids, we'd think there are only two outcomes, and neither of them involve staying friends.

Sex therapist Sarah Chotkowski isn't buying it. "It's absolutely possible to stay friends with someone after you've had sex," Chotkowski tells Popsugar. "Though you have to be pretty self-aware to pull off having sex with your friends."

Experts Featured in This Article

Sarah Chotkowski, LICSW, is the founder of the Pomegranate Institute, a virtual sex therapy private practice for individuals, couples, and polycules in Massachusetts.

In queer circles, friend sex stigma still exists, but it carries a little less weight. Queer sex therapist Keanu Jackson recently affirmed his followers on TikTok that "there is nothing wrong with having sexual relationships or sexual contact with your friends." Chotkowski, who is also queer, says that sex with friends might be more common among queer folks because they're "more likely to have deep platonic intimacy with people they also find attractive."

Ultimately, attraction to a friend is very common, Chotkowski says. "Our close friendships contain care, love, and trust, often across years if not decades. These are all important precursors to great sex. Our friends celebrate us at our best and don't judge us (too much) at our worst. In many ways, it's the closest we come to unconditional love."

The following six steps to successful friend sex can apply to anyone - regardless of sexual orientation - who can "conceptualize sex as a natural extension of the care and chemistry that already exists in the relationship," as Chotkowski puts it. If that's you, having sex with a friend could absolutely be the move.

Step One: Have an Honest Conversation With Yourself

Before you do anything drastic, sit yourself down for a nice chat. Some questions Chotkowski recommends asking:

"What are you truly hoping to get out of the relationship?"
"What are you willing to give?"
"Are there boundaries you need to keep in place to protect your heart, or are you comfortable letting things unfold more fluidly?"

Chotkowski suggests actually writing it all down in a little pact to yourself, so there's no backtracking if the other person pitches a dynamic that isn't a good fit.

Step Two: Have an Honest Conversation With Your Friend

Time to bring in the friend. This is when you discuss everything you've been chewing on individually, to gauge if your friend shares that same attraction and desire to do something about it. If protecting your friendship is really important to you, you're going to want to have this conversation in private, while both of you are sober, Chotkowski says.

This part can be terrifying, trying to guess how your friend might respond. But remember that this person cares about you and wants the best for you. "It's actually pretty badass to put yourself out there emotionally," Chotkowski says. "There's nothing wrong or embarrassing about going after what you want, even if you don't get the outcome you expect. No one has ever died from embarrassment."

If the friend feels the same way as you, it's time to discuss shared goals, and to establish some basic ideas about what this new level of intimacy between you will contain, Chotkowski says. Some things to ask:

"Are you sleeping with and/or dating other people?"
"What are your safer sex practices going to be?"
"Is there anything you reserve for serious romantic partnerships (like a sleepover) that this relationship won't contain?"
"Are there things the friendship used to contain (like talking about our dating life) that are going to be put on pause?"

Step Three: Have Sex With Your Friend

This one is pretty self-explanatory.

Step Four: Consider Some Temporary Guardrails

In the time following a hookup with a friend, amp up the sensitivity. "If the goal is to transition back to friendship," Chotkowski says, "maybe you plan to do only daytime hangouts for a bit or avoid talking about who you're dating."

Step Five: Continue to Tend to the Friendship Outside of Sex

If the sex felt good and you think you want to continue exploring it while also maintaining your friendship, Chotkowski recommends prioritizing hangouts that are not focused on sex. "If going thrifting was your thing, still go do that, and don't tack sex on the end of it." Schedule separate dates that are for sex and dates that are for friendship, Chotkowski says. "It will make it easier if you decide to ever transition the relationship back to friendship without sex."

Step Six: Extras to Consider (and One Non-Negotiable)

Whenever you're expanding your sexual circle, getting regular STI tests is a non-negotiable. Another tip Chotkowski shares is to identify one person, ideally a neutral party, to confide in about the situation, so that you always have a clear-headed sounding board if things get a little sticky between you and the friend you're sleeping with.

Remember that life is long and relationships change, and if you and your friend care as much about each other as you think, you can work through more than you might realize.

"Relationships do not have to be one specific way to be meaningful. Platonic friendships can be deeply meaningful, so can romantic ones, and platonic ones that contain a little bit of spice," Chotkowski says. "Don't be so narrow in your definition of 'meaningful' or 'important' that you miss out on something wonderful."

Emma Glassman-Hughes (she/her) was the associate editor at PS Balance. In her seven years as a reporter, her beats have spanned the lifestyle spectrum; she's covered arts and culture for The Boston Globe, sex and relationships for Cosmopolitan, and food, climate, and farming for Ambrook Research.

Don't Sleep on "Quiet Sex"

Taylor Andrews — Mon, 26 Jan 2026 06:05:02 -0800

I've always thought that the louder the sex was, the hotter it must be. But recently, I've found myself loving quiet sex - not the kind that's awkward, of course, but the kind that is intentionally more silent.

To me, loud sex feels performative and completely overstimulating. With everything already going on during intimacy, I don't want to have to think about how I sound, whether I'm making enough noise, or if my responses are meeting some sort of imaginary standard. Instead, I want to stay fully in the moment.

Quiet sex strips away the theatrics and the need to perform, which helps me focus more on what I'm feeling and less on what I sound or look like. There's no pressure to exaggerate a moan or fake any noise, and the sex just becomes about connection - the breathing, the touching, and the closeness.

It's like using a blindfold: by removing your sense of vision, you start to notice details you otherwise wouldn't have if you could see. Turning down the noise works the same way.

Prioritize pleasure over performance.

Without the distractions of music, background sounds, or forced moans, you may notice things about yourself or your partner you hadn't before. Perhaps it's the feeling of your partner's hand tightening against yours in a certain position. Maybe it's the way the blood rushes to your cheeks when you're close to orgasm. Whatever it is, these are the beautiful and natural moments that make sex sex.

That said, noticing these little discoveries doesn't mean you have to completely suppress your natural sounds. Quiet sex is not about forcing silence completely. If a moan comes naturally or you want to dive into dirty talk, then by all means, let free whatever sounds come out of your mouth. But my point is to prioritize pleasure over performance. When you focus more on the sensation, you may find that you can orgasm faster or more intensely than you ever have before.

Now I know the thought of quiet sex can be intimidating. Fortunately, I'm in a long-term relationship that makes trying anything new easier than if I wasn't. But even with that added boost of comfort, it takes courage to let go of expectations and allow yourself to be fully present with someone without the act. Still, it's worth it.

Good sex doesn't mean you need to make it louder, bigger, or more complicated. Really, it just needs to feel good. And in my opinion, the hottest thing you can do is turn the volume down and listen to what your body's been trying to say (without the Oscar-worthy performance).

The Rise of Sober Sex

Taylor Andrews — Mon, 12 Jan 2026 13:50:02 -0800

For as long as I can remember, drunk sex has been marketed to me as the cheat code to better sex. Thanks to movies, TV shows, and music (see: every country song that mentions a cold beer), I thought if I wanted to lower my inhibitions or feel confident enough to make a move, it would start with a couple of margaritas at happy hour or a bottle of wine before bed.

But lately, there's been a shift. More people are realizing that the best sex - the kind that's bold, fun, and genuinely pleasurable - may not be fueled by tequila shots or beers at all. It's happening when we're completely sober.

As the sober-curious movement continues to grow, it's clear people's relationship with alcohol is evolving: Gallup reported that only 62 percent of Americans under 35 drink alcohol, which is down from 72 percent two decades ago. With fewer people relying on alcohol in their daily life, there may be fewer using it as a crutch for sex, too.

Experts Featured in This Article

Tawny Lara is a sober sex expert and the author of "Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without the Booze."

Amanda Chatel, 43, still considers herself a social drinker, but she says she prefers to be sober during intimacy. This realization came after she noticed how much alcohol had played a role in her sexual experiences. "Whether it was a one-night stand, something casual, or sex I had with partners, alcohol was usually involved to some degree - especially with the first two scenarios," she says. "I started to wonder if I'd ever had great sex or if I simply thought I did because my judgement was clouded by alcohol."

For Jessica*, 25, sober sex became more common once she entered a relationship. Wanting to prioritize sober intimacy and connection with her partner, she says she's now having even better sex than before. "We are both confident, communicate, and are able to have great intimate moments and fun without counting on something in our system to motivate us to do it."

While everyone's reasons for choosing sober sex look different, one of the biggest benefits may be the simplest: it feels better. According to sober sex expert Tawny Lara, alcohol is a central nervous system depressant, which means that while many people use it to numb anxiety, it can also numb physical sensation. "This means that you're not feeling as much pleasure as you could be feeling," she says. In some cases, alcohol can also lead to erectile dysfunction, vaginal dryness, and dry mouth, which are all things you likely don't want to experience during sex, Lara adds.

"I'm much more aware of how my body experiences pleasure, and that's allowed me to get more creative with partners and explore new things."

This is true for Chatel, who says her body feels more pleasure without alcohol. "When things aren't numb or watered down by alcohol, sensations are heightened," she says. "I'm not saying that it guarantees I'm going to climax every time during sober partnered sex, but I'm much more aware of how my body experiences pleasure, and that's allowed me to get more creative with partners and explore new things."

Outside of the physical sensations, Jessica says she appreciates the mental effects, too. "I feel good after the fact because I know the experience was me in a non-influenced state. It's almost a sense of like, 'Wow I did that!' while feeling more connected with what I like and need."

Despite the belief that liquid courage is necessary to try a new sex position or feel more confident asking for what you want, sobriety can also help unlock a sexier state of mind. This is because being sober doesn't make sex less fun, it makes it more intentional. It creates space to explore kinks without dissociating, to advocate for yourself without second-guessing, and to feel genuinely confident naked.

While Chatel says alcohol once helped mask her insecurities, sober sex has given her the tools to address them. "With sober sex, I can communicate my needs and insecurities better instead of trying to hide from them with alcohol," she says.

In Lara's personal experience, sobriety also clarified what she actually wanted from sex. "[Before I got sober], I tried more adventurous things in the bedroom because I was trying to be a cool girl. I was trying to be that kinky, sexy, adventurous person because I thought that's what sexual partners wanted from me instead of figuring out what I want."

At the end of the day, sober sex isn't about making pleasure something clinical or serious. Instead, it's about being fully present in your body, your desire, and your curiosity. When you're not under the influence, orgasms hit harder, boundaries feel clearer, and saying "actually, can we try this instead?" feels easier.

Of course, alcohol can make sex feel less anxiety-inducing. But the people having the best sex - the ones who are empowered, confident, and hot - are finding the value in sober sex, too.

*Name has been changed.

Popsugar’s 2025 Feel-Good Awards: Sex Winners

Taylor Andrews — Fri, 12 Dec 2025 05:00:00 -0800

Sorry "Mean Girls," but Coach Carr had it all wrong: sex isn't the problem, it's the solution. There are few things in life that boost your endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin levels faster (and more enjoyably) than an orgasm. And because our brains don't release that kind of happy-chemical surge for just anything, it's worth exploring all the feel-good ways to help you get there.

It's not always easy. As someone who has reported on sex for more than six years, I know that finding the right pleasure products feels a lot like landing a Beyoncé tour presale code: rare, but also life-altering. That's exactly what we wanted to capture when selecting our winners for Popsugar's very first 2025 Feel-Good Awards. This year, our team tested 2,138 products spanning our five core categories of sex, beauty, health, fitness, and home to find the items that met our rigorous mood-boosting criteria.

As Popsugar's resident sex expert, that meant I, along with other enthusiastic staffers, had the pleasure (pun intended) of testing dozens of submissions to select this year's sex winners. From a vibrator that spared us from texting our exes out of boredom to lube that practically lived on our nightstands, ahead we give you the five sex products that had us begging for MORE, MORE, MORE!

In This Post:

Best Feel-Good Vibrator
Best Feel-Good Lube
Best Feel-Good Sex Toy
Best Feel-Good Lingerie
Best Feel-Good Adult Game

Cyber Monday's Best Sex Deals Are Ending Soon - These Are My Must-Buys

Haley Lyndes — Mon, 01 Dec 2025 15:00:04 -0800

If your Black Friday cart was all sweaters and skin care, Cyber Monday is your chance to . . . round things out - but you'll have to move fast. Some of the best sex and intimacy deals of the year are happening for a few more hours, and they're too good to ignore. Treat yourself, treat your partner - it's a judgment-free zone. Here are the top Cyber Monday sex deals still going strong (for now).

In This Post:

Cyber Monday Sex Toy Deals
Cyber Monday Kink Deals
Cyber Monday Lube and Serum Deals
Cyber Monday Lingerie Deals

Our Favorite Cyber Monday Sex Deals

A straightforward lube that plays well with toys and partners: Astroglide Liquid at $8, originally $12
A playful little gift that walks the line between sweet and NSFW: Sex Checks at $9, originally $10
The vibrator holding the number-one spot on Amazon: Ava Vibrator at $11, originally $22
A romantic-meets-bold lingerie moment that's hard not to love: Lilosy Floral Mesh Lingerie Set at $15, originally $18
A fan-favorite bra: Savage x Fenty Romantic Corded Lace Unlined Underwire Bra at $30, originally $50
A popular clitoral massager you'll use again and again: Nancy Lem Clitoral Massager at $89, originally $159
The Katy Perry-approved toy that simulates oral sex: Womanizer Next at $149, originally $189
One of the bestselling rabbit sex toys on the market: Lelo Soraya Wave at $194, originally $269

Looking for even more sales? Shop more of PS's Cyber Monday deals, and subscribe to our newsletter for more shopping recommendation

Update on Dec. 1, 2025, at 5:45 PM ET: I updated the prices and double-checked availability, because nothing kills the mood like clicking add to cart and getting hit with "out of stock." (Not on my watch!)

The Cyber Monday Sex Deals Heating Up Early - Up to 60% Off

Angela Elias — Sun, 30 Nov 2025 14:40:02 -0800

Whether you're looking to spice things up for the holidays, explore something completely new, or stock up on a favorite category, there are loads of good sex deals for Cyber Monday already live. With items that are suited for solo pleasure or partner play, you'll have plenty of options. I curated a mix that includes everything from an editor-tested sex toy to a Mulberry silk robe and even a bondage starter kit. Bottom line: there's a little something here for everyone.

In This Post:

Cyber Monday Sex Toy Deals
Cyber Monday Kink Deals
Cyber Monday Lube and Serum Deals
Cyber Monday Lingerie Deals

Our Favorite Cyber Monday Sex Deals

A playful little gift that walks the line between sweet and NSFW: Sex Checks at $9, originally $10
A straightforward lube that plays well with toys and partners: Astroglide Liquid at $8, originally $12
The vibrator holding the number-one spot on Amazon: Ava Vibrator at $11, originally $22
A romantic-meets-bold lingerie moment that's hard not to love: Lilosy Floral Mesh Lingerie Set at $15, originally $18
The Katy Perry-approved toy that simulates oral sex: Womanizer Next at $149, originally $189
A popular clitoral massager you'll use again and again: Nancy Lem Clitoral Massager at $89, originally $159
One of the bestselling rabbit sex toys on the market: Lelo Soraya Wave at $196, originally $269
A fan-favorite bra: Savage x Fenty Romantic Corded Lace Unlined Underwire Bra at $30, originally $50

Looking for even more sales? Shop more of PS's Cyber Monday deals and subscribe to our newsletter for more shopping recommendations.

Update on Nov. 30, 2025 at 5:30 PM ET: I double-checked that all of our favorite Cyber Monday sex deals are still live - because nothing kills the mood faster than an out-of-stock product. I also added Maude's Soy Massage Candle, which is perfect if you're looking for an excuse to ask for a massage (and maybe a little sexy time) on these chilly nights.

The Best Early Black Friday Sex Deals, Including $70 Off a Viral Massager

Balim Tezel — Thu, 27 Nov 2025 15:15:02 -0800

Editor's Note: Black Friday has officially started, so we're no longer updating this early deals post. You can find all the best Black Friday Day deals (in every category) here, and you can find all our Black Friday coverage here.

Black Friday hasn't even arrived yet, but the deals? They're already getting hot. While everyone else is filling their carts with air fryers and TVs, the real ones know this time of year is about investing in your sex life. Before you restock your go-to beauty favorites and fitness essentials, make a little room in your cart for something that'll actually make you feel good – literally. We're talking the vibrator that never lets you down, the lube that lasts all night, and lingerie that doubles as main-character energy.

It's basically a self-love starter pack (or couples therapy in one click). Plus, these discounts are too good to wait for, because nothing kills the mood faster than "out of stock." From TikTok-famous vibrators to silky lubes and everything in between, I rounded up the best early Black Friday sex deals you can shop now, no awkward aisle browsing required.

In This Post:

Best Early Black Friday Sex Deals on Lubes
Best Early Black Friday Sex Deals on Toys
Best Early Black Friday Sex Deals on Lingerie
Best Early Black Friday Sex Deals on Condoms

Our Favorite Early Black Friday Sex Deals

A playful little gift that walks the line between sweet and NSFW: Sex Checks at $9, originally $10
A straightforward lube that plays well with toys and partners: Astroglide Liquid at $9, originally $12
The vibrator holding the number-one spot on Amazon: Ava Vibrator at $11, originally $22
A romantic-meets-bold lingerie moment that's hard not to love: Lilosy Floral Mesh Lingerie Set at $15, originally $18
A fan-favorite bra: Savage x Fenty Romantic Corded Lace Unlined Underwire Bra at $39, originally $50

Whether you're exploring your solo era or spicing things up with someone else, scroll ahead for the hottest deals to shop before they disappear faster than your ex's text replies.

Looking for even more sales? Shop more of PS's Black Friday deals and subscribe to our newsletter for more shopping recommendations.

Update on November 27, 2025 at 6:15 PM ET: I updated prices and checked availability for all products, and I added the celebrity-endorsed Womanizer Premium 2, plus a bestselling rabbit sex toy.

5 Thanksgiving Sex Positions to Try When You're Full but Horny

Taylor Andrews — Mon, 24 Nov 2025 05:00:02 -0800

Between the ham, potatoes, and intrusive questions that come from distant relatives, Thanksgiving isn't exactly known as the sexiest holiday of the year. Most of the time, people are way too busy eating, digesting, or falling asleep on the couch to think about anything sex-related.

But if your second helping of stuffing makes you feel like you also wouldn't mind getting stuffed later, sex doesn't have to be completely off the table. With the right sex position, Thanksgiving sex can be very possible - it just maybe requires a little creativity, minimal effort, and a locked door if you're staying under the same roof as your parents.

Whether the pumpkin pie surprises you as an aphrodisiac or you find yourself wanting to get off to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade buzz, here are the best Thanksgiving sex positions to try this year. (But no worries if you're too tired to take off your clothes: sex on Black Friday fortunately hits, too.)

Experts Featured in This Article

Zachary Zane is a sex and relationship expert for #LUBELIFE.

Sarah Tomchesson is a certified sex educator and marketing director at Magic Wand.

Mindy DeSeta, PhD, is a certified sexologist and sexuality educator at dating app Hily.

Josefina Bashout is a tantric sex expert.

The Best Thanksgiving Sex Positions, According to Sex Experts

Spooning Sex Position

Spooning is the ultimate lazy sex position. "It doesn't require all that much movement - just mild thrusts from the inserting partner - and it's not like cowgirl where you bounce up and down, which would be the last thing I would want to do after a heavy meal," sex and relationship expert Zachary Zane says. To get into the spooning sex position, lie side by side with your partner, making sure both of you are facing the same way. (Yes, like how a spoon stacks up with another spoon.)

The Mutual Masturbation

If you're too full to have sex on Thanksgiving, give mutual masturbation a try. This refers to the act of pleasuring yourself right next to your partner, so it doesn't require any effort besides whatever you want to do to yourself. "You're both on your back, so no one is on their stuffed belly. Plus, it's low energy, high reward," Zane says.

The Bent-Over Stand

If standing feels like too much work for a Thanksgiving sex position, certified sex educator Sarah Tomchesson recommends the bent-over stand position. "After a big holiday meal, nobody wants to feel squished or pinned under body weight. Bent-over sex keeps both partners upright, supported, and breathing comfortably - no heavy pressure on full bellies," Tomchesson says. In order to get into the position, stand with your partner. Then, the receiver should bend over on a hard surface (or bed) creating an angle that allows for penetration.

The Classic Oral-Sex Position

. . . or as sexologist Mindy DeSeta, PhD, calls this sex position: the "Grateful Giver." There's no better way to show your gratitude for someone than by going down on them. "With you and your partner being completely satiated from the meal or tired from the tryptophan, allow your partner to lie back and relax," Dr. DeSeta says. "This position is all about gratitude and generosity - take your time, pay attention to their responses, and show them exactly how thankful you are for them." To get into this position, the receiving partner should simply lie on their back with their legs slightly apart.

The Stuffed Pillow

For the person on top, missionary can often be a tasking sex position. But tantric sex expert Josefina Bashout recommends trying a softer, more supported missionary sex position on Thanksgiving: the stuffed pillow. To get into this position, simply move into a missionary sex position where the receiver puts a few pillows underneath their hips. Instead of quick thrusts, however, Bashout suggests focusing on energy flow and emotional closeness. "Trace fingertips, whisper affirmations, and sync breath with rhythm," she says.

Meet the Voice Behind Your Favorite Erotic Audio Stories

Taylor Andrews — Mon, 03 Nov 2025 06:00:03 -0800

You'd recognize her voice even though you'd probably never know her face. She's the one whispering in your ear through your AirPods, telling you exactly what she wants to do to you. Yes, she may make you moan, close your eyes, and forget where you are for a second, but she's not your girlfriend or latest hookup. She's the voice behind some of the Internet's most-streamed erotic audios.

Meet Rina, the anonymous Canadian creator whose job description includes making people orgasm without ever touching them. She started working for Quinn, an audio erotica app, in 2022 as a creator. And to her, it's an "honor" that people get off to her voice. "It's one of the best feelings in the world for me," she says.

But there's a lot more that goes into being an erotic audio creator than simply reading a script. Not only does Rina write most of her audios herself, but she produces them, too. "I only record one audio per recording session, as I believe that each one deserves the most energy, care, and attention that I can put into it," she says. "I really pour a lot of myself into the performances, so focusing on crafting each one with its own dedicated time just feels right to me," she says.

Curious what else goes into creating the perfect audio erotica? Rina opens up about the intimate process behind her recordings, and how her job has even helped influence her own sex life.

Popsugar: Can you walk me through what a recording session looks like?

Rina: I like to write and edit during the day and record in the evening or at night, because I believe the ambience for a recording session is really important. When it's time to record, the vibes in my studio match the vibes of the audio - dim lighting, scented candles, and listening to music that matches the vibe beforehand.

PS: Do you ever change anything about your voice to appear more "sexy" in the audio?

Rina: I like to modify my voice a little, depending on the character that I'm playing. Each audio is its own scenario with its own unique character. In order for the listener to feel more immersed, I'll use a different voice, tone, and style that I feel suits them best. It's really fun to play around with what I can do differently with my voice to help the listener really feel these characters come alive.

PS: How do you find the inspiration for your stories?

Rina: I really enjoy exploring different dynamics and trying out new things. A lot of the stories I have told recently come from listener requests on Instagram - I love to poll my audience on what they'd like to hear and what they're in the mood for, like femme dom or switch-y vibes. I love to see their excitement and feedback when I deliver on that.

PS: How important is voice tone, pacing, and breath to creating a believable erotic experience?

Rina: It's honestly everything. Dirty talk, as with any other performance, is a delicate art. Audio erotica and all the small, precise details that go into it are my life's passion. I love to experiment and play with different ways to use breath, tone, and pacing. For example, a simple exhale into someone's ear is sexy on its own, but if you draw it out and move it from one ear to another . . . yeah, that's the good stuff.

PS: What's your favorite story you've recorded?

Rina: It's so hard to choose just one! I think one of my favorites is "It's Always the Shy Ones." This was the first audio where I began to explore F4F breeding kink ideas with ejaculating straps. After creating this, I got comments saying things like, "this made me feel so normal about having this kink" and "this really unlocked something in me," and it feels really rewarding to be able to give people these experiences in a fun and safe way.

"Audio erotica and all the small, precise details that go into it are my life's passion."

PS: Any embarrassing stories?

Rina: Probably the time I was recording a really intense cunnilingus scene. It was at a part in the audio where I was really working hard to help the listener's character achieve orgasm - like nose buried in their metaphorical crotch, growling into it, slurping, sucking, licking, getting really feral - and I suddenly choked on my own spit while inhaling and trying to do all these things at once. One glass of water later, I was totally fine, but the people I live with definitely heard it. Whoops.

PS: Have you ever listened to your recordings?

Rina: I clean, sound design, and edit my own audios, so there's a lot of listening, re-listening, and re-re-listening in my studio. I go into a recording knowing precisely what I want it to sound like when it's finished, and it takes hours of work to achieve that, so I'm always really proud of the final version when it's all done.

PS: Do you have any tips for people who want to incorporate more dirty talk into their bedroom routine with their partner?

Rina: Be yourself, communicate, really allow yourself to have fun, and try new things. Fantasies and role play are also a fun way to talk dirty. I find when it's more of a two-way conversation rather than just "lines" here and there, it really takes a lot of pressure off everyone involved to "say the right things," and really makes for a memorable experience.

PS: How has recording erotic audio changed your personal relationship with sex?

Rina: It's impacted me in so many positive ways. Dirty talk comes naturally, talking about sex is really easy, and it's really emphasized to me that self-pleasure, in tandem with audio erotica, is one of the best ways to give oneself love, care, and pleasure.

The 21 Best NC-17 Movies to Stream Tonight

Hilary White — Tue, 28 Oct 2025 09:20:02 -0700

For the unfamiliar, NC-17 movies are basically big-budget porn films with a plot - and come with very, very explicit sex scenes. The best NC-17 movies are much raunchier than your mainstream sexy flicks, but there's enough acting involved to keep them from veering too far into the porn lane. (Not that there's anything wrong with that!)

There's a trove of NC-17 movies to stream on YouTube, Amazon, and other sites - whether you're looking for some new masturbation material, something to add to your foreplay with a partner, or just a great watch that happens to be filled with lots of nudity. Our curated list of the best NC-17 movies to stream caters to different moods, too, and includes plot lines that involve forbidden love, longing for ex-lovers, steamy will-they-won't-theys, and much more.

Some of our favorite NC-17 movies feature kinks and fetishes, BDSM play, and even real sex - not the simulated version orchestrated by intimacy coordinators that we usually see in big blockbusters.

The following list of movies is sure to fulfill your NC-17 fantasies, and maybe spark some new ones, too. Keep reading to see the steamiest and dreamiest NC-17 movies to stream now.

I’m a Sex Writer, and These Are My Last-Minute Prime Day Sex Deal Splurges

Balim Tezel — Wed, 08 Oct 2025 15:10:02 -0700

Today is the last day of Amazon Prime Day 2025, and while everyone is filling their carts with beauty essentials and fitness gear, don't forget to treat yourself (or your partner) to something sexy. This is the perfect chance to stock up on bestselling sex toys, silky lubricants, lingerie you'll actually want to wear, and condoms that'll help turn your night into something unforgettable. The best part? These goodies are discounted for Prime Day, so you can indulge without guilt. I know finding the best deals for products that don't disappoint is harder than keeping your hands off a new vibrator, so I went ahead and found all the hottest items for you to buy.

In This Post:

Prime Day Sex Toy Deals
Prime Day Lubricant Deals
Prime Day Lingerie Deals
Prime Day Condom Deals

Our Favorite Prime Day Sex Deals to Shop

The viral vibrator that will blow your mind: Magic Wand Mini at $76, originally $100
Our favorite long-lasting water-based lube: Astroglide Water Based Lube at $6, originally $8
This set is the ultimate mix of cute and sexy: Lilosy Sexy Floral Embroidered Mesh Sheer Underwire Lingerie Set at $18, originally $20
A safe way to extend pleasure: Durex Performax Intense Natural Rubber Latex Condoms at $6, originally $8

Looking for even more sales? Shop more of Popsugar's editor-curated Amazon Prime Day Sale picks and subscribe to our newsletter for more shopping recommendations. Plus, make sure you sign up for Amazon Prime so that you don't miss a moment of the sale.

Update on October 8, 2025 at 5:30 PM ET: I made sure all of these Amazon Prime Day sex picks are in stock and still on sale. I added more amazing Prime Day deals I can't gatekeep, including the plusOne Bullet Vibrator and THXSILK Silk Nightgown.

11 Sexting Examples to Copy When You're Too Horny to Think

Taylor Andrews — Thu, 02 Oct 2025 09:35:02 -0700

Sexting is one of the hottest ways to connect with a love interest. Not only can sexting be used as a form of foreplay, but it can also be a way to introduce new kinks, fetishes, and sex positions you may want to explore with a partner. While deciding who you want to sext (and which sex toys you may want to keep close while you do) is the fun part, knowing how to sext isn't so simple. Enter: our round-up of sexting examples below.

When it comes to sexting a new partner or someone you haven't had sex with, the most important thing to establish is consent. This means you should refrain from sending unsolicited nude photos or messages without the other person agreeing beforehand. Once consent is established, you can start referring to the below sexting examples as inspiration.

Not sure how to sext, though? First off, know that there's no right or wrong way. Whether you copy and paste these sexting examples or you craft the sexts yourself, as long as you and your partner feel comfortable with how the conversation escalates, that's what is important. Simply describe what you would want to do to your partner or what you'd want them to do to you.

If you need some inspiration, we've got you. Below, you'll find real-life sexting examples between consenting adults below. Feel free to copy and paste as you see fit or use them to come up with sexting ideas yourself. The fun has only just begun.

Sexting Example 1: Go Into Detail

Image Source: Anonymous

Some people prefer to send short quick sentences while sexting, others prefer long paragraphs that feel like you're reading an erotic short story. If you prefer the latter, this example is great.

Partner 1: Start kissing your lips, then work down to your neck while playing with your nipples . . . hearing you start to moan will make me rock hard as I suck on your tits and finger your tight pussy . . . eventually I'll work my tongue down to your pussy and eat you out as long as I want . . . making you begging me to fuck you . . . finally I slip the tip of my cock in you as your moans get louder . . . I'll throw your legs on my shoulders fuck you long and hard and hearing you scream.

Partner 2: God I love the thought of that so much.

Partner 1: Getting excited?

Sexting Example 2: Ask for Consent

This example sext shows how to check-in with your partner throughout your sexting conversation to make sure everything is OK. All it takes is a "Should I keep going?" to ask for consent.

Partner 1: Well when I woke up from my nap earlier, I was thinking about kissing you nice and slow . . . moving down to your neck . . . and then your perfect nipples . . . down to your navel . . . and slowly further down . . . rubbing my tongue up and down and side to side around your clit.

Partner 1: Hope that isn't too much . . .

Partner 2: Nope not at all.

Partner 2: I'm horny. 🙃

Partner 2: Perfect nipples? You can't be thinking about me then lol.

Partner 1: I love your nipples.

Partner 1: Should I stop or keep going? Ha.

Partner 2: Oh by all means please continue.

Partner 1: Then I'm gonna flip you over and do the same thing to your ass with my tongue . . .

Sexting Example 3: Suggest a Fantasy

Image Source: Anonymous

Sexting is a great opportunity to introduce a new fantasy or role-play idea. The following conversation gives a great example on how you can use sexting to see if your partner would be into it or not.

Partner 1: You know what sounds really sexy?

Partner 2: Do tell. 😛

Partner 1: You being blindfolded while I go down on you.

Partner 2: Ooh that sounds really hot.

Partner 1: If I get one, want to try it?

Sexting Example 4: Get Descriptive

This horny sexting example shows just how easy it is to sext; just describe what you would want to do to the person if they happened to be in the same room as you. (Note: the below sexts are inspired by a real conversation.)

Partner 1: I'd love to bend you over 😍 I want you to feel every inch of me as I rub your clit.

Partner 2: That sounds incredible baby.

Partner 1: I wish you could feel me inside of you. I want you to ask me for more. 🙈

Partner 2: I'm so turned on thinking about that. 😩

Partner 2: I want you in my mouth.

Partner 1: I wish I could see you masturbating.

Sexting Example 5: Make Your Intentions Clear

If you want to see your partner in something special during sex, bringing it up during your sexting conversations is a pretty low-stakes way to gauge how they would feel about it. (Note: the below sexts are inspired by a real conversation.)

Partner 1: Wow, you made me lose my breath.

Partner 2: I can't wait to see you again. Are you going to wear something sexy the next time I see you?

Partner 1: Yes, I have a lot of lingerie at home that I'd love to wear for you.

Partner 2: I bet you look so stunning in it. Can't wait to see it.

Sexting Example 6: Keep It Simple

Image Source: Anonymous

If you find yourself unsure of what to say, sometimes starting with an easy "I want you" goes a long way and gets the point across.

Partner 1: I want you.

Partner 2: Oh yeah?

Partner 2: Perhaps I've been thinking about you nonstop.

Partner 1: Yes . . .

Partner 1: I'm hard af.

Partner 2: And how I wish you were in town.

Partner 1: I wish I was too.

Partner 1: I need you to drain me.

Partner 2: I want you to push me up against the wall and pin me back slowly undressing me.

Partner 1: Hmm I'd love that. Kissing down your body.

Sexting Example 7: Be Explicit

Here is yet another session of two consenting adults going back and forth on what they'd like to sexily do to each other with lots, and lots, and lots of description. The more horny details, the better.

Partner 1: After I finish tasting you . . . I'm going to slowly make my way back up to your lips . . . and tease the outside of your tight wet pussy with the head of my cock . . . until you can't stand it anymore and grab my hips to thrust me deep inside you . . .

Partner 2: Mmm yes please.

Partner 2: I want you to tease me so much I'm dripping wet in anticipation waiting to have you fill me up so deep pounding me hard while I moan as you go inside me.

Partner 1: I can't wait to fill you up with so much of my warm cum that I've been saving up for you.

Sexting Example 8: Check-In With Your Partner

Image Source: Anonymous

For a different way to sext, instead of describing what you'd want to do to your partner, you can check in with them after a sexual experience, as seen here. Use the time to ask them what they liked about the experience, and what they would want to continue doing.

Partner 1: How're you feeling after last night baby?

Partner 2: I had so much fun devouring your pussy. You're everything.

Partner 1: I can't stop thinking about it.

Partner 1: What was your favorite part?

Partner 2: Hearing you moan when I had you in doggy. So ducking hot.

Partner 2: Fucking lol.

Partner 1: Yeah? You liked that baby?

Sexting Example 9: Get a Temperature Check

Sexting is a great place to introduce some of your kinks. If you happen to be into something kinky (like, say, wanting yourself or your partner to be naked all day), telling your partner about it will help you gauge their interest.

Partner 1: God the pre cum is so hot.

Partner 2: Well you have me very turned on.

Partner 1: Oh yeah?

Partner 1: How bad do you want me?

Partner 2: I want you so fucking badly. I just want to have you in any way I want.

Partner 2: Make you stay naked all day for me to use whenever I want.

Partner 1: Oh fuck yes.

Partner 1: I want multiple rounds all day long.

Partner 2: Ask and ye shall receive.

Sexting Example 10: Lead Your Partner

Image Source: Anonymous

If you're still unsure how to sext, a great way to get the conversation rolling is by prompting your partner. Just as this example sext shows, say something like, "What would you want to do to me right now if we were in the same room?"

Partner 1: I would love to know all the terrible things you would want to do to me.

Partner 2: Well I think I would have you walk through the door, then push you up against it and pin your hands above your head as I kiss you.

Partner 2: Use my hands to feel all over your body and take off your clothes. Then put you on your knees and put my cock in your mouth while I grab your hair.

Partner 2: Then take you to my bedroom and eat your pussy. Gently using my teeth and sucking on your clit while I use my fingers.

Partner 1: Yes please pin me down and have your way with me.

Partner 1: I would love to show you how good I can make you feel while I shove your cock down my throat cupping your balls and playing with your taint.

Sexting Example 11: Set the Expectation

You can also use your sexting conversation to set the expectation for the next time you see each other. If the expectation is that you two will go multiple rounds with each other, then by all means, let them know.

Partner 1: I want to have you in every position. Slow and fast and deep.

Partner 2: I will spread my legs so wide for you.

Partner 2: I want you multiple times as much as possible, have you out of breath.

Partner 1: I wish I had my face in between your legs right now.

Partner 2: You would be tasting my sweet cum right now.

Partner 1: I hope your fingers are in your pussy right now.

Partner 1: Where do you want me to cum?

Partner 2: All over my big tits.

Partner 1: And if you were here right now you could feel how hard I am right now.

Yes, Even Lukas Gage Has Had an Awkward Threesome

Taylor Andrews — Tue, 30 Sep 2025 05:05:01 -0700

Lukas Gage is a walking contradiction. At least, according to himself. When the "White Lotus" actor opened up to Popsugar about what he needs from a partner, he wasn't sure how to explain it: "I need love, and then I need to be left alone. I need a lot of attention, and then I need you to play hard to get. I need really intense one-on-one time, and then I need to spread my wings." And if that sounds confusing, that's kind of the point.

Just like the non-celeb normies of the world, Gage has toxic traits, experience with STIs, and conflicting views on hookup culture. He's also had an awkward threesome and enjoys a very specific kink that may surprise you. But unlike his role as a sex bot in his most recent film "Companion," this is what makes Gage surprisingly human.

As a spokesperson for HealthySexuals.com, a campaign that raises awareness for PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis), a prescribed medication to protect individuals against the transmission of HIV, Gage is using his platform to normalize conversations around sex and prevention.

After speaking to the West Coast native, it's clear he knows a thing or two about how to impress someone in the bedroom, which may or may not include a naked back handspring.

Popsugar: What does a healthy sex life look like for you?

Lukas Gage: A healthy sex life for me means being proactive about my health, being educated, being informed on all testing, and being very open and on top of it with my prevention options, like PrEP. I take PrEP, and I think the scientific advances that they've had with this medication is amazing. We should all be having open conversations about it and not be afraid to discuss this amazing med.

PS: You mentioned that testing is important for a healthy sex life for you. Have you ever had an STI?

LG: I was in a relationship with someone, and I thought it was monogamous, but it turned out it was not [monogamous] on the other end. I was surprised with some STDs, and luckily, that experience was a huge catalyst in being on top of prevention options.

PS: What does your prevention look like now?

LG: Just being very routine with my testing, not being lazy and making it a huge part of my self-care. Just like working out or eating healthy or meditating, I have made it a part of my routine. I wake up, have my vitamins, coffee, and my PrEP.

PS: What do you think people should know about getting tested?

LG: I think that they should know there's nothing shameful about protecting your health and being educated and informed. I think knowledge is power, and it's easy to go get a test - there's so many options that you can do, there's so much information that's out there.

"I would be annoyed to date me sometimes."

PS: You recently played a sex bot in "Companion." Would you ever own your own sex bot?

LG: Look, I have some conflicting thoughts about that. Ultimately, the answer is no, but I would be very tempted to. I would have to take it out for a night just to give it a try. But I wouldn't date one, no.

PS: What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you during sex?

LG: It was a threesome gone wrong. I was not wanted, and it was embarrassing. I thought because I was the person being invited into it that I would be the special one, but it turned out, I wasn't their cup of tea. I'm an acquired taste.

PS: If you really want to impress someone in the bedroom, what is your go-to sex move?

LG: A roundoff back handspring. I took gymnastics as a kid, so I still can do a back handspring. A naked back handspring? Can't beat that.

PS: What is your toxic trait?

LG: I'm really needy. I need a lot of attention. I need a lot of validation and a lot of words of affirmation - so much it's even annoying for me. Or, I cry a lot. I think that annoys people. I'm a big crier. I would be annoyed to date me sometimes.

PS: What is your biggest sexual turn-on?

LG: Being ignored. I like to be ignored by somebody for some reason, that's a little humiliation kink that I have. I like to be ignored, but it's part of the game, and then I want to be loved and fulfilled afterwards. But yeah, I think there's a part of me that likes to just be treated like a ghost.

PS: Your upcoming memoir "I Wrote This For Attention" comes out on Oct. 14. What was it like writing it?

LG: It was a crazy experience: it was cathartic, it was scary, it was really hard. It took a lot of rewrites, and a lot of notes. It was a crazy experience, but rewarding . . . hopefully.

The "Speed Bump" Is TikTok's Favorite Lazy-Girl Sex Position

Taylor Andrews — Thu, 25 Sep 2025 15:35:02 -0700

When it comes to exploring different sex positions, there's a time and place for each one. Want a classic? Go missionary. Ready to be in full control? Try cowgirl. But if you're looking for something that is easy, hot, and endorsed by horny TikTok users all over the app, the speed-bump sex position is your next move.

A variation of doggy, the speed-bump sex position hits all the right spots, which is why it tends to be a favorite. For many people, it's also a move that they probably already do without realizing it has a name. In the comments of a viral video about the sex position, one person said: "I been knowing about speed bump before I knew the name." Another added, "after some researching what this even is, I realize I've been doing this, and can confirm it's a favorite."

So what is this TikTok-famous sex position, and how can you get the most out of it? Relationship and sex expert Nicole Moore explains below.

@itstreylander
get that pillow ready
♬ original sound - ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 a y

Experts Featured in This Article

Nicole Moore is a relationship therapist and founder of the Love Works Method, a program that has helped people find lasting love fast.

What Is the Speed-Bump Sex Position, and How Do You Get Into It?

This sex position is named the "speed bump" because the person on the bottom, well, looks like a speed bump. "It's a modified version of the doggy-style position where, instead of the receiver being on their knees, they lay flat on their stomach with a pillow underneath their hips to raise them up slightly," Moore says.

To get into this position, it's best to be on a flat surface like your bed, the kitchen table, or a couch. Similar to how you would get into the prone bone sex position, if you're the receiver, lay flat on your stomach. Then, "place a pillow or rolled-up towel underneath your hips so your hips and rear are slightly elevated in the air," Moore says. (The difference between the prone bone and speed bump is that in prone bone, the receiver is flat, but in speed bump, the receiver's hips are elevated.)

If you're the person on top, make sure your partner's legs are pressed together. Then, in a kneeling position (you can also be slightly hunched over), move your legs to the outside of your partner's so you're straddling their thighs. Enter them from that position.

Why Is the Speed-Bump Sex Position a Favorite?

Though there are many reasons why the speed-bump sex position is a favorite, Moore says the main benefit is its access to the g-spot, which is an erogenous zone located about a couple inches inside the vagina on the inside wall. Because the receiver of this position has their hips elevated on a towel or pillow, it tends to make the angle more pleasurable. (However, just note that if you are using a big sex toy or your partner is on the larger size, this sex position may make the receiver feel more "full," which can sometimes feel uncomfortable.)

The speed bump can also be considered a lazy sex position for the receiver. "It's very minimal effort for the receiver, so it's a great position to do when you're in the mood but also lacking energy," Moore says. Translation: perfect for a slow Sunday morning romp or quickie before your kids wake up.

Lastly, this position may help lower your inhibitions. Because you're not face-to-face with your partner, you may find that you're more present and can experience more pleasure without worrying about what your face looks like or what sounds you're making, Moore says.

Speed-Bump Sex Position Tips

To get the most out of the speed-bump sex position, don't forget to add clitoral stimulation to the mix. Because most people with a vagina cannot orgasm from penetration alone, adding a vibrator or manually stimulating your clitoris during play can make the position feel better, Moore says. "Experiment with adding in sex toys to the mix, which can be placed under you as you lay flat on your stomach."

Moore also recommends experimenting with how many pillows or towels you use underneath your hips. "For some, using multiple pillows may increase the pleasurable effects," she says.

Most importantly though, don't force the position if it's not working for you and your partner. Some people say that this position can make them feel uncomfortable, like their partner's penis or the sex toy is too big or poking them in the stomach. If this is the case, as with any position, "only do it if it works for you and your partner," Moore says.

How Dirty Talk Freed Me in the Bedroom

Amanda Chatel — Fri, 19 Sep 2025 08:40:01 -0700

It was only my second time with Paul* when he asked me what I wanted him to do to me in bed. Immediately, I froze. Paul knew that I wanted to explore my submissive side, the one that I had imagined was there but had yet to discover, so he had my utmost trust and my consent. I just had no idea playing into his dominance would involve a crash course in dirty talk too.

"I want you inside me," I said sheepishly.

"Do you?" he asked. "How bad do you want me inside you? Tell me."

"Really bad," I responded.

"I want details," he said. "Tell me how to touch your pussy."

"Like, how you want to," I whispered, following up with, "Could you not say that word, please?"

"Which word? Pussy?" he asked.

"Yes, that one," I said.

For as long as I could remember, "pussy" was among a handful of words to which I had an aversion. It was something about the "ussy" sound which also made hearing "wussy" and "hussy" nearly unbearable. It had nothing to do with the body part and everything to do with the way the "S" slid off my tongue. It was right up there with "moist" and "panties" or, even worse, "moist panties." I simply couldn't bring myself to hear it, let alone say it.

"You have a pussy," he said as he slipped his fingers inside me. "Now tell me how to touch it."

Eventually, talking dirty became less and less awkward, and it started to become something I truly enjoyed.

None of the guys I had been with before Paul had ever communicated with me like this. I felt vulnerable, and also like I had no idea where to start.

"I like where your fingers are, but maybe a little deeper," I said.

"Where are my fingers?" he responded. "You can say this, just yell it out for fun!"

I paused. I reminded myself it was just a word. "Pussy," I said quietly. "I want to feel your fingers in me and then your mouth on my pussy." And though it wasn't exactly a breakthrough moment, it was certainly a step toward feeling more comfortable talking dirty to a partner. (It also came with some epic sex afterward, too.)

In the months I dated Paul, he pulled from me bits and pieces and implanted thoughts that had never crossed my mind. For him, whose second language was English, it was fun to play with the dirty words of my first language, words that I struggled to say because of my own issues and peculiar sensitivities to specific sounds. It was definitely a process with many baby steps, but I went from being able to say words like "pussy" and "cock" on their own to using them in complete sentence. This ability made me feel more confident in the bedroom.

In the safe space that Paul provided, one that was free of judgment and shame, talking dirty became less and less awkward, and it started to become something I truly enjoyed. Paul helped me to not only talk dirty, but to tap into my desires, embrace them, and then be fully open about them no matter how vulnerable it made me feel in the moment. Looking back, it seems as if he knew my ability to talk dirty was always there, but it just needed some major unearthing to release it. And let's just say he was more than willing to help me find my words.

Long after my relationship with Paul dissolved, I continued to practice what he taught me with other men. I was unapologetically candid with my words during sex, and in most cases, the men I found myself with were just as vocal as I was. Once I was able to harness my ability to talk dirty in bed, I never looked back.

Now, dirty talk is as an integral part of my sex life, and it's almost become a type of kink or fetish I need to orgasm. Not only have I included it during foreplay and by sexting a partner some pretty graphic sexual scenarios before seeing them, but I also find myself talking dirty when I'm masturbating.

Touching and physical sensations are important for my sex life, but dirty talk has made my orgasms feel more complete. And now, I'm a better lover because I know how to communicate exactly what I want.

*Names have been changed

Amanda Chatel is a PS contributor with a sexual health, mental health, and wellness focus.

Horny While Grieving? "Mourning Wood" Is More Common Than You Think

Taylor Andrews — Fri, 19 Sep 2025 08:35:02 -0700

Grieving the death of a friend or family member can sometimes feel impossible. Some people may find comfort in surrounding themselves with loved ones, while others might attend a grief retreat in hopes of finding tools to heal. For some people, however, the most unexpected symptom of loss isn't the tears, the brain fog, or the numbness: it's the insatiable surge of horniness.

"Mourning wood" is the surprising wave of arousal that can hit during the process of grieving. Someone with mourning wood may want sex more often than usual, crave more physical touch with a partner, or feel turned on during moments that they otherwise wouldn't be.

In one popular Reddit thread, one user asked if it was OK to feel horny shortly after a loved one dies. "My grandmother of 94 recently died three days ago," the user stated. "I started feeling a bit horny (a bit more than usual). I feel sad, guilty and anxious. Is it normal or even ok to feel this or is something wrong with me?"

On a different Reddit thread, another user asked if grief can actually increase your libido. "I think I might be so overwhelmed with emotions and unable to process them that it's resulted in a higher libido," they said.

As confusing as mourning wood can feel, the answer is yes, a heightened state of arousal can absolutely be a normal response to grief. Below, psychologist Lienna Wilson, PsyD, explains why this can happen, and what to do if you're experiencing this type of grief response.

Experts Featured in This Article

Lienna Wilson, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist with a private practice in Princeton, NJ.

What Is Mourning Wood, and Why Does It Occur?

Though mourning wood sounds similar to morning wood, these are not the same experiences. "Mourning wood is a slang term for occurrences of heightened sexual arousal that sometimes occur during the grieving process," Dr. Wilson says. "It has nothing to do with morning erections, and can be experienced by any sex throughout the grieving process." Unlike morning wood, mourning wood is completely gender neutral. Anyone can experience mourning wood, no matter your gender or sexual orientation.

According to Dr. Wilson, the reason you may experience heightened horniness while grieving could be because you simply want to feel better. "Psychological pain activates some of the same areas of the brain as physical pain, and when the body is in pain, it craves a release of endorphins," she explains. And what releases these feel-good chemicals in the body? Orgasms.

People may also look to sex and physical connection as a coping mechanism. "A lot of people crave physical comfort during grief," Dr. Wilson says. "Sexual intimacy can provide a much deeper physical connection and comfort, especially if it is with a partner that you know and trust."

That said, some people may experience the opposite of mourning wood. According to Dr. Wilson, the stress you experience when you're grieving can increase your cortisol levels, which might actually decrease overall sexual arousal. "However, a need for endorphin pain relief might counterbalance that, leading to sexual arousal," she adds.

Is Mourning Wood a Normal Response to Grief?

There's no "normal" way to grieve. What works for one person may not work for another. For some, grief can bring about emotional withdrawal, loss of appetite, or difficulty sleeping. For others, it can bring an increased need for closeness, comfort, and, yes, even sex. "Everyone grieves in their own way, so there is nothing wrong with having heightened sexual urges when grieving," Dr. Wilson says.

That said, if a person is using sex as a distraction, it may not be so healthy. "If you notice that you feel emptier or experience feelings of guilt, then it may not be a good coping behavior," Dr. Wilson says. For this reason, she recommends always consulting with a therapist or grief specialist who can help you work through your feelings.

What to Know About Guided Masturbation, According to an Expert

Sara Youngblood Gregory — Mon, 15 Sep 2025 13:20:02 -0700

If you're looking to change up your masturbation technique, allow me to put you on to guided masturbation - basically a masturbation tutorial to help you reach orgasm. Think of it as masturbation instructions, if you're into that.

Guided masturbation tells you "when and how to please yourself," feminist porn advocate and expert Angie Rowntree says. "You don't need to 'think' - you can just feel. It's another wonderful tool in your arsenal of self-care and self-pleasure."

No matter your specific kink taste or how experienced you are at touching yourself, there's likely a guided masturbation session out there for you. Below, dive into the world of guided masturbation and how it can be helpful for your self-love journey.

Experts Featured in This Article

Angie Rowntree is the founder and director of the ethical, feminist porn site Sssh.com.

What Is Guided Masturbation?

Generally, guided masturbation is an audio-only recording you can listen to while masturbating. The audio tells you how and when to touch yourself, and it also sometimes incorporates a storyline to keep you engaged and in a sexy headspace.

"Guided masturbation is an exciting way to up the ante in your self-pleasure journey," Rowntree says. "Even though the fun is solo, hearing an enticing description of what you're going to do or experience next can be highly arousing. Part instruction and part imagination, guided masturbation invites you to explore what is generally familiar territory in new ways."

Whatever your experience level, there are a range of guided-masturbation audios to choose from, including masturbation instructions, hands-only sessions, guided sex-toy play, and edging sessions. If you're new to self-pleasure or you've never experienced an orgasm, guided masturbation takes out the guesswork by incorporating storylines to connect you to your desire and provide clear, step-by-step masturbation instructions on what to do with that desire.

The Benefits of Guided Masturbation

For one thing, using guided masturbation as part of your self-care routine can help you to learn how to communicate what you like and dislike during partnered sex. "The act of verbalizing sexual desire is powerful. Sometimes hearing someone else describe it is the 'lightbulb moment' you need when you're otherwise at a loss for words," Rowntree says.

Secondly, if you're in a rut, having trouble with wandering thoughts during pleasure, or feeling a little bored with sex in general, guided masturbation can help introduce new ideas and skills. You may also discover desires or erogenous zones you didn't even know you had.

Another plus is that guided masturbation is a great way to enjoy ethical porn, which is a type of porn that prioritizes the well-being of sex workers, offers a feminist alternative to the male gaze and the traditional porn industry, and promotes marginalized performers.

Best Guided-Masturbation Apps and Sites

Ferly is a sexual-wellness app that draws on a team of sex educators, medical professionals, therapists, and researchers to help guide you to better sex. The app emphasizes the science of sex and has a "learning-by-doing" mission - meaning the app is full of guided sessions. Ranging from touch-based lessons to mindfulness practices and featured programs, there's something here for you. Subscriptions start at $18 per month.
Dipsea is an erotic audio porn app that centers queer storytelling and diversity of experience. Casting voice actors and writers, the app caters to lovers of intense storylines, character-driven scenes, and consent-first chemistry. There's a large catalog of sexy stories, sleep scenes, and wellness sessions to blend desire with sexual wellness. Subscriptions start at $13 per month.
Guided by Glow is an audio-only site with sessions ranging from eight to 25 minutes. This guided masturbation audio caters to women as its main audience, but performers are men, women, and nonbinary. The site emphasizes breath and meditation to relax and ground you during self-pleasure. Subscriptions start at $13 per month.
Sssh.com is a feminist, ethically produced, indie adult-cinema company. It offers a range of porn, from VR and narrative film to guided masturbation. There's porn catering to an array of sexualities, but across the board, women's pleasure is the primary focus. Subscriptions start at $20 per month.
Quinn is a super user-friendly audio porn site founded for and by women. The site has plot-based audio, guided masturbation, dirty talk, and more. There's also a very helpful playlist guide, including for beginners, queer folks, and others. Subscriptions start at $5 per month.

Sara Youngblood Gregory was a contributing staff writer for Popsugar Wellness. She covers sex, kink, disability, pleasure, and wellness. Sara serves on the board of the lesbian literary and arts journal, Sinister Wisdom. Her work has been featured in Vice, HuffPost, Bustle, DAME, The Rumpus, Jezebel, and many others. Sara's debut nonfiction work, "The Polyamory Workbook," about navigating ethical nonmonogamy, is out now.