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Does Everyone Secretly Want a "Wife"?

Does Everyone Secretly Want a "Wife"?

Thanks to a recent Pew Research study we know now that more women are outearning their partners than ever before. Let’s hear it for the ever-shrinking gender gap . . . right? According to some women, including writer Sandra Tsing Loh, earning more than our partners isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

In a recent New York Times op-ed, Loh says that the constant multitasking and duty-splitting of most modern households make her pine for the days of 1950s housewifery. Except, Loh realizes, she wants to be on the other end of things this time — she wants to continue being the breadwinner, while her partner greets her every evening with a clean house, an attentive ear, and ideally, a good Manhattan. "In the end," she says, "we all want a wife."

What’s your take? Do you think the top-earning partner in a relationship secretly wishes for a stay-at-home spouse to make life easier?

Photo courtesy of AMC

Join The Conversation
goddessru goddessru 7 years
Well, when you put it like that... yes, I do want one! I'm a career gal (for now) and though both my fiance and I work and have good jobs, I get paid more and would appreciate someone to take care of me as much as a man expects that from a woman when they get home. But we are pretty equal, because he is very fair minded, believes in cooking and cleaning as much as I do. I do believe it's a shared job. Especially in this day and age. As for being a stay at home mom, I do want to do that one day when I have kids. Not because I'm supposed to or because my husband makes me or society says so, but because I want to be there to take care of my children. I grew up with both parents working because they had to, so I never really saw them. I just want to make sure I'm present for mine, and it's completely a choice.
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 7 years
lol, i guess i'm not the "onlysourcherry"
nyxmoxie nyxmoxie 7 years
No and I don't really respect househusbands either unless its for a good reason like he stays at home with the kids, but personally I wouldn't want a relationship like that. I respect relationships where they both work.
mek123 mek123 7 years
I've been saying for years I want a "wife". or at least someone to do the chores of a wife while I work. It is not rejecting feminism, it is a fact of life that there are not enough hours in the day to get everything done.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 7 years
Nope, I'm the wife. I want a husband, which I have. :)
sourcherry sourcherry 7 years
I'd definitely prefer to "have" a wife than to "be" the wife myself! It's just not for me at all! But ideally my husband and I would do an equal share of the household stuff and work full time as well. And like onlysourcherry said (ah, how could we not think alike?:P), hopefully we could hire a housekeeper someday...
Spectra Spectra 7 years
I AM the wife. I work part time out of the house and I take care of all the household chores/cooking/shopping/etc. My husband doesn't really have to do a whole lot at home and he does really like it that way.
courtneyd courtneyd 7 years
I enjoying cooking and home projects too much to let him be the "wife". I would love if I could stay home, have my own side business, and do the housewife thing. Alas, this is not in the cards right now... maybe in another couple of years.
Lyv Lyv 7 years
A "wife" as in a "housekeeper" ? Isn't it a little sad to use that word like they're synonymous in 2010 ?
lilkimbo lilkimbo 7 years
It's no secret for me, either. I definitely want a wife! I'm single, but I work kind of long hours and I always talk about how nice it would be to come home to a nice supper and a clean home every night.
bluebellknoll bluebellknoll 7 years
My husband definitely makes more $ than I do and works long hours but he has made it very clear that he EXPECTS me to work regardless. My impression is that he would be jealous that I would be at home "relaxing" all the time. So, for the last couple years I have worked full-time and do 90% of the household work (both indoor and out) and it totally bums me out. I do think he's softening to the idea of letting me find something part-time because he sees how unhappy I am with this situation. I've been a career gal for 20 years...I'm ready for a change. I would love to be a wife!
imLissy imLissy 7 years
I think sometimes that I would want him to be a housedad, so we won't have to deal with daycare and stuff, but then I think.. I want to do all of the housewifey stuff! I wish I can work full time and be a housewife, but unfortunately the two kinda contradict eachother.
teegaall teegaall 7 years
onlysourcherry, I'm the same way. I was talking to a friend about the sort of relationship/marriage that I'd want and she said "Oh, so you want a 'wife'."
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 7 years
It's no secret for me, I joke all the time about how i need a "wife" to take care of these things for me. That said though, I would never want a stay at home husband, as bad as it sounds i would have trouble respecting him. I guess the hope is that we can hire a housekeeper someday. win win!
kimmieb124 kimmieb124 7 years
Not me. I want to be the wife. My husband and I earn fairly equal salaries, but I would prefer not to work outside of the home. I'd prefer to be home with my daughter and take care of the house, but we live in a situation where we both need to do some breadwinning to survive. I love that women have the opportunity to earn money equal with men, but I'd also love to be in the situation where I had the choice to be the wife.
skigurl skigurl 7 years
well i know i don't want a wife, i like being the wife but that said, i think that a successful person who works a lot needs someone to support my relationship we both do a little of the breadwinning and a little of the "taking care of the house and the other person" so i like it the way it is but in terms of cooking and doing the laundry, i like to do it and i like him to get his butt outside to mow the lawn ;)
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