7 Tips For Making Friends When You’re Shy
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It's hard enough to make friends as an adult when you're a talkative, extroverted people person; it's even more challenging when you're the introverted type. But the first thing to remember is that you're not alone. While being shy can often feel kind of isolating, there are plenty of other people out there who are going through the exact same struggle — and they're probably looking for a friend just like you!
The key to making friends when you're shy is to accept yourself just as you are. You don't need to pretend you're a loud party animal in order to make friends (and besides, if you tried to do that, you'd just be left frustrated and fatigued). Here are seven tips for making friends when it just feels too scary to walk up to strangers and say hello.
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Focus on Mutual Interests
It's difficult to force friendships with people who don't share a common interest. If you're like most shy people, you might not always be 100 percent outgoing, but I bet that when it comes to your favorite hobbies, you can really get talking! Join a group based on hobbies that you love (and love to talk about), and it'll be easy to meet like-minded people.
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Hit Up Your Most Outgoing Friend
We all have that one extroverted friend who seems ready to chat with strangers anytime, anywhere. Ask your friend to introduce you to their other friends when you're out and about together. You never know who you'll meet!
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Take a Class
There are a lot of reasons why it's so much easier to make friends as a kid, but one of the primary reasons is that you have school to connect you. If you're already out of school, take a class at your local community college or learning center. Study buddies can easily become lifelong friends.
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Consider a Side Hustle
Another place where people commonly make new friends? Work! If you're not feeling any of your current coworkers, consider getting a low-stress side hustle you love where you're likely to meet new people.
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Find Your Comfort Zone
If parties aren't your thing (or, conversely, if they are your thing!), then use that information to determine where you'll go looking for your next friend. You're unlikely to make friends in scenarios where you don't feel comfortable.
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Practice Positive Affirmations
No matter what social situations you find yourself in, you're unlikely to make lasting connections if you don't reach out to people. I've totally been there! Working on your inner confidence is key to making friends, especially if you're on the shyer end of the personality spectrum. Practicing daily affirmations, like "I am funny, smart, and interesting. Anyone would be lucky to be my friend," or "I am outgoing and make friends easily. It's not difficult for me to talk to new people," can help change your mentality around the introduction process.
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Follow Up
Finally, a stumbling block that many adults discover when meeting new people is that no one seems to follow up after they've met each other. If you really enjoyed meeting someone, shoot them a quick text to say it was great to meet them. There's no harm in inviting them out to grab coffee or partake in a mutual interest together either!