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Parents Helping Paying For Your First Home

Letting Parents Pay For Your Home Down Payment

I just read about a study that revealed eight out of 10 first-time property buyers in England are receiving cash from their parents to foot the down payment. It's apparently the highest percentage that they've ever measured, more than two times the number in 2005. This is attributed to the global financial crisis, and English banks now require a deposit too high for people to pay without assistance from mom and dad. Home deposits in America have also risen since the recession, so I'm wondering if a similar trend is happening over here.

What do you think of this — would you ask your parents to help pay for your down payment or wait years until you can afford one on your own?

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srll srll 5 years
This is purely cultural. Old world countries, developing countries or countries with little mobility have multi-generational homes and house purchases all the time. England does increasingly too, due to the bad economy and loan restrictions as well as its huge immigrant population keeping its former traditions. As alluded to above, there are heavy strings attached to receiving parental money as an adult child. One side's father or mother will expect to be quite "involved" in your life and decisions as this money becomes their leverage. So difficulties arise when they tell you where to live, how to raise children, that they should move in with you and your young family, you should pay their vacations, etc. Very rarely is the money truly a "gift". And, btw, you have TWO sets of parents when you're married, not one. So figure out how you want to define your family unit versus your family of origin...
lickety-split lickety-split 7 years
my husbands parent gave him the down payment for his condo. we lived there for 2 years then sold it and bought a house. it was a big help. hopefully i'll be in a position to pass that little bit assistance along to my girls. parents enjoy helping their kids. im guessing that hekping my girls get their own place would let me feel that they were a bit more "settled" and give me piece of mind.
katiekat95 katiekat95 7 years
I was living with an abusive boyfriend and decided to leave one day. While looking for a new apartment my dad suggested buying since it's been a buyers market. I was planning on renting but am extremely lucky and my parents gave me a down payment on a great condo. Without them I wouldn't have been able to afford a down payment. I never would have asked for the money though....
sourcherries sourcherries 7 years
Our parents helped us with our down payment. I think it speaks to how close we are as a family that we are able to do this.
leslievanhouten leslievanhouten 7 years
I think living at home rent free is a way that parents help their kids out with the down payment for a house. My brother lived at home until his mid 20s, never paid rent, and was able to save up to buy a condo with his girlfriend. It's not straight cash, but if Mom and Dad weren't around, no one else would let you live someplace safe for free
elizabethsosewn elizabethsosewn 7 years
maybe as a substitute for a wedding present? i would totally accept that. otherwise I don't think i'd be comfortable asking. yeah unless it was a gift for a specific reason i wouldn't accept it. my parents themselves don't have a house.
itsallabouttheg itsallabouttheg 7 years
i would never, ever ask, and i'm not sure if i would take it if offered. i think buying a home is something i want to do on my own.
lilkimbo lilkimbo 7 years
Oh, that's not what I found odd about your wording. I was referring to your use of "I" (singular) and then "either set of parents," which, to me, implied two people, not one. On a side note, I wish my parents lived in the same city as me! I definitely would have loved to live with them for a few years and have used that opportunity to build up a nice down payment. If you get along well with your parents, I think that's a great idea!
skigurl skigurl 7 years
in any way* less than awesome
skigurl skigurl 7 years
I'm definitely not saying my parents didn't help me at all, or are in any well less than awesome. They rock. I moved back in with them after school and that's how I saved up all the money I did - rent-free (and didn't have to pay for food or anything like that - though I did pay for my own car and phone and student loan), and now that we've moved in, they are super amazing about helping out around the house when my boyfriend is away, and showing us how to fix stuff, how to paint, how to do all the things we had no clue how to do...but I'm just saying financially, they didn't give us/me anything, and I can say we're on financially solid ground as a result of our own smart choices.
lilkimbo lilkimbo 7 years
Fair enough, skigurl. I guess I just thought it was a little odd the way you worded your comment by using "I" but then also mentioning "either set of our families." Lissy, I think you missed my point. I'm willing to wager it would have been a lot more difficult for you to save up that $70,000 if you had to pay for 100% of your household expenses during those three years on your own.
imLissy imLissy 7 years
We didn't need any money, I was able to save $70000 in just three years, but they gave us a little bit extra, just because they're awesome like that. We used it to make repairs on the house though, not for the down payment. Yes, I am living with my husband, but husband or no husband, if you can't afford the house, you shouldn't be buying it. I wouldn't have bought the house if I couldn't have afforded it on my own.
skigurl skigurl 7 years
I see what you're saying lilkimbo, but before I even met my SO I had money saved and a savings plan set up, and if we hadn't bought together, I still would have been able to buy solo (but a smaller/less expensive place) and in that case, if I had to pay closing costs and a downpayment solo, I wouldn't have had the money left over which I've used to buy furniture and keep a 6K buffer in my bank account for future expenses. But I still could have done it on my own.
lilkimbo lilkimbo 7 years
I probably wouldn't ask, but if they offered and I knew for sure they had the money and would still be able to retire on time, etc., I would accept. There's something to be said for being independent, but there's also something to be said for not having to pay $1650/month in rent. Also, I think it's much easier to save for a down payment when you're married/attached. No offense to anyone here, but I don't see how you can say you did something entirely on your own when you did it with your s.o.
le-romantique le-romantique 7 years
When I'm ready to buy a house, I'm hoping I would be financially stable enough to afford it myself. That being said, after relocating after my initial move (to college, in an apartment that I paid for) I moved to another city in that state (FL, my family/parents are in NJ). My parents want to retire down here, so they are purchasing a condo/house and allowing me to live there (and pay rent, no free ride, but definitely cheaper than I pay now) until 1.) I move, 2.) they retire. Whichever comes first. I see nothing wrong with asking for help, or having a hand out, everyone's family is different.
Marshmelly411 Marshmelly411 7 years
I know that in countries outside of the US, parents are much more supportive financially to their kids. A lot of teens in Europe don't have part-time jobs in high school like they do here either (much more focused on schoolwork). I knew a girl from China who was telling me that its extremely common for parents to buy their child a condo/house when they get to be a certain age, and in turn they take care of their parents when they get older (as opposed to throwing them in a nursing home). Despite the fact that its a bit of a different culture than in the US, what is so wrong with this? I don't think it has anything to do with not being "grown up", but shows how close and supportive a family can be. Generally speaking, teens here seem to want to abandon their families and have complete independence the second they turn 18...theres nothing wrong with that, but theres also nothing wrong with relying on your family if they want to help you. My roomate in college wouldn't even ask her parents for $15 when she needed it because she wanted to be "independent". Please. I'm sick of this attitude that twenty-somethings who live at home are somehow "lazy" and/or immature because that is certainly not the case in most situations. That being said, if I were to buy a house (which would not be anytime soon), I would not immediately ask my parents for help if I could afford it. If I really wanted to buy one and they offered me a loan, would I take it? Of course I would. I don't have any shame in that.
skigurl skigurl 7 years
Um, no. If they offered money, I'd probably take it, but I would never ask. I saved up my own downpayment and I feel proud that I did the entire home-buying experience sans help from either of our families. When you're an adult, it's not fair game to ask for help from you parents. Grow up! That said, I have a friend whose parents offered her money for real estate in lieu of ever paying for a wedding, so while I feel like she had it "easier" than me, things are just done differently in her house.
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