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What to Do With Passive Aggressive Boss

Savvy Confessions: What Should I Do With My Passive-Aggressive Boss?

This reader posted in our anonymous Savvy Confessions group, wondering what to do with a passive-aggressive boss. Do you have any advice for her?

My boss is SO passive aggressive and it drives me crazy!  In the middle of September, I put in for vacation time during Christmas because my boss told us that he needed to know when we were planning to be gone for the holidays.  I stayed in town for Thanksgiving, however my boss insisted on working the day after so the other counselors could be off.   Then, two days ago, I overheard him saying to another co-worker that he was thinking about taking time off at Christmas and the days he mentioned happened to be the same days I had requested (two months ago!).  So I said something to him and asked if there was going to be a problem with me taking the days I had planned on being away.  He knows that my family is out of town, but still asked "Are going out of town for Christmas?"; "yes" I replied, "my husband has also already requested the same days with his job. Do you need me to re-submit my request?"  All I heard him say at this point was "S#!T, S#!T, S#!T!"  My boss has a "knack" for losing important stuff like this, so I re-submitted my request (and made a copy of it for myself this time) & said "would you please let me know if this is going to be a problem as soon as possible?"  His response was "It's fine, I'll just 'bite the bullet' for another holiday and get screwed again."  I was so mad, and just walked away.  He does stuff like this all the time too!  Now, to make things worse, he is taking on additional work for the company and everyone here is dreading what will happen.  He does not regulate his stress well at all, and ends up taking out his frustrations on the rest of the staff (only six people work in our office).  We already work in a high stress environment, and he can make it so much more stressful.  We have addressed his behavior with him, but he does not see it as a problem.  I love my job and have been here less than a year, but I'm not sure if I am willing to tolerate this long-term.  I don't know what to do if he doesn't think his behavior is a problem.

Pose your own anonymous questions or off-load your work confessions by posting in the Savvy Confessions group, and I'll find the right expert to help you out.

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Raiderfan1 Raiderfan1 5 years
I would not take his actions personal. This is the way "He" deals with things. Just be professional and polite. If he tells you your request is fine, document it just in case he loses it or forgets. He may feel he gets over with his actions? That's OK. Just don't cave in at the last minute when he loses it. Not your problem. Let the big baby be a big baby. He will get over it like he always does.
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