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What Do You Think of This Wedding Fund-Raising Tradition?

In the US, pre-wedding events can include an engagement party, a bridal shower, bachelorette and bachelor parties, and a rehearsal dinner. But engaged couples in Manitoba, Canada have one tradition that's unique to their community: Socials are pre-wedding parties thrown by engaged couples hoping to raise thousands of dollars for their weddings. These types of parties are held in other parts of Canada, too, but Manitoba considers the tradition to be a rite of passage.

The socials are thrown at an inexpensive venue and the couple makes money from the admission fee guests pay and the no-host bar. Businesses and sports teams are asked to make donations that are raffled off at the social, and the couple makes money from the raffle proceeds as well.

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Join The Conversation
lizlee89 lizlee89 9 years
that sounds really tacky, but it's no different that asking for things that you want for your house and life together for wedding gifts - that's why I like Mexican tradition - no wedding gifts, no bridal shower gifts, no bachelor/bachelorette gifts - it's your choice to get married, no one else should have to pay for your decision - that's why I hate so much that people make their bridesmaids & groomsmen pay for their dresses and tuxes...
j4everlasting j4everlasting 9 years
For the person who commented on how if people stopped going to these things they might have more money to throw a wedding. You may have a point, but I think alot of people in these communities kind of look at it as an investment into their wedding when they go. I mean think about it. Instead of going into debt to pay for the wedding you as the families and couples who are around you to come to this party and pretty much pay back what you've already invested. It's more like a long term plan rather than a short term.
skigurl skigurl 9 years
a Stag is more for the fun of it than to raise money, i think i mean, i go there to party, have a good time, see people you haven't seen in a long time and talk about how fun the wedding is going to be...i mean, you pay money for a ticket but its no different than cover charge at a bar....and i'm happy if the couple can earn some money doing it, but i think it's more for the social aspect and as part of the wedding planning rituals that make weddings so fun
missyd missyd 9 years
I live in Canada as well (not in Manitoba though). And as RobinSparkle said, in my area they do Jack and Jill's a bit. I'm on two minds regarding the tackiness of it. Yes, I agree with the side that feels that you shouldn't be asking others to pony up $$$ for YOUR wedding. It is a little embarrassing. HOWEVER, as half of a young couple who are currently engaged and cannot afford to get married, it would be quite a blessing. Better than any china set or spaghetti strainer. I have spent so many nights crying over wanting to get married but can't...and cant save for it either because bills call my name as it is. So in the situation, yeah, this kind of event would be a godsend. But I don't know if I could swallow my pride to do it.
duck-duck-goose duck-duck-goose 9 years
Traditions interest me. This one is different -- I'd never heard of it. I wouldn't feel comfortable doing this, but then I live in a small town in upstate New York. This practice is not common in our community (yet). (Plus, I don't drink. Big social drinking parties never captivate my interest.)
kiwitwist kiwitwist 9 years
I think it is stupid. A lot of them are called "Stag n' Does" around where I live. People ask for far too much money, too often.
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 9 years
Maybe if people didn't go to so many of these parties then they could save up for their own weddings... I don't think it can be "tacky" exactly, since our Canadian posters have commented on how common and accepted they are, I just don't know how much sense it makes to throw a party to make money in order to throw a party. Just because something doesn't make sense to me doesn't necessarily make it tacky though!! It sounds just like any other wedding tradition that baffles me!
tkoblondee tkoblondee 9 years
I think it's actually a good idea. Most people like to get together and spend money at a bar...why not get together and have that money go for a good cause? It seems like you could really get to know people in your community a lot better too. What I think is tacky is going into debt so that you can have a wedding that costs as much as a large downpayment on a house.
lickety-split lickety-split 9 years
if it's the way thing are always done in that country i don't have a problem with it. reminds me of the "money dance" that some people do. i can't remember which culture it is, but i've been to wedding in the past and the participants look forward to dancing with either the bride or groom and (i think) pinning money to them. still think that if you get divorced before a couple of years of marriage you should have to give the money back, lol.
ShePirate2010 ShePirate2010 9 years
That is like the most UNromantic thing ever!! How stupid.
hottdana hottdana 9 years
so I live in Alberta but most of my family is from manitoba so I know a little bit about this. Most people in the community are more than happy to attend a social in support of the couple, it's a great excuse to go out and have fun. it's not like they're knocking on your door with a donation box, you go to the social if you want and help them out. if you don't agree with it then you just don't attend and if you're okay with it then you go have a good time with your friends.
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 9 years
to each his own but i would be mortified asking someone else to pay for my wedding if we cant afford it we wont have it seems like charity to me gasp
Gossamer Gossamer 9 years
This sounds really awkward. People can't get in unless there is an entrance fee? So is there like a bouncer at the front? I don't know, getting money as a gift and asking for money are completely different things and I would not ask anyone to pay for my wedding, but thats just me. Anyway, why not just charge an entrance to get into a wedding? And have a pay bar? they seem about equal, all seem cheap and needy but then again if its Canadian tradition I guess its accepted there sort of like expecting bridesmaids to bring three different presents.
Lil-Maw Lil-Maw 9 years
Yeah, I guess it's so common around here that I never really thought that I was tacky or wh*ring myself out. I mean, the majority of the friends that will be there have also had Stag and Does that I have attended and spent money at and not been insulted about doing so. I guess we're just a really tacky community and don't realize it.
RobinSparkles RobinSparkles 9 years
BTW, I'm in Mass, and a Jack and Jill is pretty common around here.
RobinSparkles RobinSparkles 9 years
Isn't this similar to a Jack and Jill party?? I don't think it's a bad idea, especially because guests typically look forward to the party! Jack and Jill's around here are usually less formal, have prizes to give out, open bar, and are a lot of fun. Plus, it gives people who might not be invited to the wedding or want to go to the wedding (especially if it's small) an opportunity to contribute and celebrate with the couple (ie my parents going to my friend's Jack and Jill, but not going to the wedding).
jessie jessie 9 years
yeah..sure..lets get married on someone elses when we divorce 5 years later, it wouldn't of cost us a thing. not the best idea someone ever came up with. TACKY
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 9 years
WOW...I would never whore myself out like that!
julieulie julieulie 9 years
I don't anyone has the right to call something tacky that is performed in a community. To transport this to the middle of NYC would indeed be quite criticized because it is not the norm. But who are we to criticize something that an ENTIRE community does? The people who are invited are used to them, so they are probably not offended by the invitation, and there is no reason to call it tacky. That said, I would never do it, but that's because I don't live somewhere where it is done -- so my guests probably WOULD be offended!
sfbutterfly24 sfbutterfly24 9 years
I dont think it lacks class or common sense if it is a tradition that the community has. Some cultures have a money dance others don't give gifts but give a envelope w/ cash. Its also not like they are asking for money for nothing they are have a fundraiser. In other cultures a wedding is a very big deal for the community and everyone gets involved. I find that it is mostly here in the states that a wedding is a more me thing than a we (the couple,family and community) thing. Just my 2 cents.
j4everlasting j4everlasting 9 years
No one is forced to go to these socials. I've been to my fair share, and I think if you're willing to throw one, and people are willing to come, then there's nothing wrong with it.
javsmav javsmav 9 years
I guess if it's a custom, then your guests will understand it & expect it. However, I think if anyone tried it in the States it might be frowned upon. I couldn't do it, but I also don't like the idea of wedding gifts either. I just want people to come party with me at my wedding, not give me money or gifts.
cherrylistic cherrylistic 9 years
No Way i would never do this it like no one can come to your bash unless they forked over cash HOW embarrassing who ever has done this.
linds1019 linds1019 9 years
Why should a community come together to pay for someone else's wedding? If someone can't afford the wedding they want, they should either wait and save up the cash or plan a less expensive wedding. This idea lacks class and common sense.
SkinnyMarie SkinnyMarie 9 years
to me its not any different then the money dance, or the the pay for shots (when its open bar), or the pay for a kiss.
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