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What Would You Do If Your Ideal Wedding Was Out of Reach?

From the walk down the aisle to the last drop of champagne at the reception, weddings are some of the most joyous and memorable celebrations — but it can cost a dreadful amount of money to produce the wedding you picture in your head. If you couldn't afford to pay for something close to what you consider to be your ideal wedding, which of these options would you choose?

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Stellanz Stellanz 9 years
We are in this situation at the moment it's our anniversary today and we can't celebrate it :( even if we destroy our social life for the next 5 months we will still be $6-7K short. I don't know what to do. even eloping wouldn't work cos I’d still want the dress and rings :( no chance of postponing 5 months is long enough now that I’m built up with excitement it's like telling a 5 year old they have to wait for Christmas an extra 4 months JUST CAN'T HAPPEN!!!
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 9 years
Yeah, I think just choose what is important to you. I've angered my close family by choosing to have my wedding in LA, most of my family will have to travel, and I wonder if it is really selfish of me to ask that. But the location is important, and it makes me sad that none of my family will visit us in LA (they think it's pretty much the devil's playground, not even kidding). I am going to spend a ton of the budget on the location (it's very special to my fiance and I), but it's so beautiful that I don't need flowers (they last ONE day), I don't care about the dress, I don't even LIKE cake, and there are so many other little "required" aspects of a wedding that are meaningless to me. Also, I WANT a small wedding, my goal is to feel like I am never "mingling." I think once you identify what is really important to you, like if you are a fashionista and you want a fab gown, or a foodie, or you want a great band, then spend more there. Honestly, reading those magazines can make it seem like every detail MUST be important, but really, it's a ceremony and a party, not a test we must pass with the absolute best of taste to impress our friends!
dootsie dootsie 9 years
I think that spending beyond your means on a wedding is absolutely ridiculous. We all have dreams of a fairytale scenario, but honestly, it's just not worth it. Get married when you want to, and do the best with what you've got. You'll still have the same happy, fond memories. And, in the end, a good picture for your mantle. (Which is all weddings are, anyway.)
ladydanaj ladydanaj 9 years
This is the boat I'm in. I just graduated law school but am in a clerkship right now. My FH is in med school. Right now, the two of us have no money. Most of the wedding venues are around here are between $100-125 per person and we each have big families. (45 cousins on each side, 12 aunts and uncles just on my side plus their spouses, etc.) We're going to try to have the best wedding possible on a skimpy budget since our parents can't help at all.
j00j j00j 9 years
i would put it off until i had enough money to afford exactly what we both wanted. its our big day, and i want it to be special and perfect
Linny Linny 9 years
lucky for me, my dream wedding is tiny and as intimate as possible. it's about the marriage, not the wedding!
keiraz keiraz 9 years
splurging money on a wedding is a waste..I'd rather make a small cute style wedding and enjoy it with my closest ones than be broke for the rest of my life or for like years to go just for one night!
MindayH MindayH 9 years
I don't really want a wedding anyway, so I said elope. If I marry someone who wants a wedding (and I have a suprising # of guy friends who want weddings) I will compromise with a party later on, cause I know that is really all he will want.
honeysugar28 honeysugar28 9 years
Starting off your marriage with debt is a very bad idea. The number one problem for married couples is usually financial reasons. The important thing is to start out your new life as problem free as possible.
lickety-split lickety-split 9 years
if you think the wedding needs to be a certain way, boy are you in for a surprise in married life. there is no such thing as perfect. as lovely as you think your bridesmaids dresses are you're probably the only one that thinks that. the flowers you paid extra for; several people are allergic. the vows you wrote; some folks are gaging. the cake with the $500 cake topper; almost no one saw it and none of them remembered it after the cake was cut. when you remember other people weddings what do you remember? who got married and whether it was raining or really, really hot.
hippiecowgirl hippiecowgirl 9 years
It's not about the wedding. It's about the marriage. You can have a spectacular wedding without breaking the bank. We set our budget well within our means and prioritized. Creativity goes a long way, too! It really bothers me to see couples start their married life out in debt because of the wedding. Unfortunately, the people I know who took out loans to pay for their weddings already have other debt.
Lyv Lyv 9 years
I don't wanna be the one to tell people how to spend their money, but... I'm sorry, I just think it's so pathetic to spend crazy money on your wedding. I particularly dream of the perfect husband and the perfect marriage. The party is just a detail. Are you celebrating that you found your true soulmate or just trying to prove something to your friends?
iloveana iloveana 9 years
I've always thought it was weird to dream so much about a big wedding - am I the only girl who doesn't didn't at all dream about a wedding as a little girl?? Please, there are more important things to do
carhornsinapril carhornsinapril 9 years
TidalWave, I'm putting off my wedding until I can afford it, but not because I need to have an extravagant party; I have a huge family, and they need to be there that day. Just accommodating that many people in an expensive city is pricey, no matter how budget you keep your party. We've put off the ceremony for a couple of years, but the act of commitment happened a long time ago. I think it's a totally responsible move to wait until you've saved up.
lovelipgloss lovelipgloss 9 years
Who said its weird to be engaged over a year? I think the issue is where you place the importance, which is what I struggled with. Marriage is very special and sometimes the emphasis is put on how great the reception is or how fancy the dress is. Make no mistake, I personally wanted people to talk about how pretty everything was... but in the end the joining of the bride and groom are what REALLY make the wedding.
sfbutterfly24 sfbutterfly24 9 years
save not say sorry!
sfbutterfly24 sfbutterfly24 9 years
Why is it crazy to say until you have enough to have the dream wedding? Are you NOT going to spend the rest of you LIFE w/ the other person?? I was just wondering why it is so weird to have an engagement longer than a year when marriage is forever.
gabiushka gabiushka 9 years
Hah, I dont know... we are only married civilly and it was really fast and the church wedding...that is a tuff one I still havent figured out, it's been more than a year. Suggestions??
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 9 years
I worked with what i had and everyone said it was the best they had ever been too. Fun is free!!!!
shanimalcracker shanimalcracker 9 years
This is tough; the idea of the perfect wedding is really a dream for most girls. However, this kind of depends on how much out of reach the ideal wedding is. If it is something where getting less pretty napkins and less food is an option, then there are some corners you can cut to at least get the main effect of the beautiful ceremony.
bellaressa bellaressa 9 years
I say just stay in your budget and remember it's a special day and you have the rest of your lives to share.
lovelipgloss lovelipgloss 9 years
I was engaged for a little over a year before we actually got married. I can't tell you how much money I dumped just on wedding magazines at that time. Although I got a lot of great ideas, the magazines eventually just depressed me. Outrageous wedding gowns that cost as much as a car, cakes that were in the thousands, overnight spa parties to host for your bridesmaids? It all looked so fun but I can't do all that, even with my parents paying most of it. In the end, I was very happy with my wedding but wish I didn't get so caught up with all magazine craziness.
citizenkane citizenkane 9 years
I refuse to skimp on the photographer or my dress, (both of which I am paying for - in cash - myself). Other than that, I do not care.
meumitsuki meumitsuki 9 years
I don't understand going into debt for one day. I was able to have a great wedding for under 10k for 120 people. There are always ways to save.
Renees3 Renees3 9 years
I just want something small, but for a lot of people it's important to them to have a big party with their family. SO I don't think there's anything wrong with holding off until you have the money. Some people say that's putting off your commitment but really does a piece of paper saying your married really make that much difference? If you commited to the relationship it doesn't matter if you're married or not, I think of a wedding as a way to celebrate that commitment so why not have the best party I can?
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