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Would You Spend the Holidays Apart to Save Money?

My best friend is in her first few months of blissful marriage and she and her husband are busy planning their first holiday season as newlyweds. The plan is to visit his family on the East Coast, but because of an unpredictable income in a weak economy, she has been considering staying at home in California while her husband travels east.

She is fine with spending the holidays apart, but knows that the family wouldn’t take the news well if she sat this season out, so she’s being a (reluctant) trooper and spending the dough. Would you spend the holidays away from your special someone to save money?


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cooper cooper 8 years
When you are married your priority is your spouse - not your family (barring any very serious or serious/ unforseen circumstances). Its that simple.
Dubn8tr Dubn8tr 8 years
I agree with those that say if it's that expensive, then they should both stay home.
LoveSarah LoveSarah 8 years
I would just see if one of our family members would help out with the plane ticket as our Christmas present or something. But, as some one else said, if their finances are that bad, neither should go. It really isn't fair to either of them for one to be away.
Schaianne Schaianne 8 years
I think if finances are that tough - neither should go. And the families in question should understand that!!
Deidre Deidre 8 years
I agree with a few earlier posters -- it's a completely different story for me now that I'm engaged instead of just dating. This will be our first holiday season that we spend together. So we're splitting the time between families. Thanksgiving with his, Christmas with mine. Spending the season apart was no big deal before, but now we're intent on making the holidays a special time for us both. We're starting a family together eventually -- so the traditions will start this season! Besides, seeing loved ones is what the holidays are all about for me. I'd cut back on a tree or presents before I'd cut back on travel to be with my loved ones.
Liss1 Liss1 8 years
No, we always spend it together. We usually get together with his family on christmas day and then my family the next day and it works out good that way.
gabiushka gabiushka 8 years
No, that is why we save the rest of the year: for special occasions.
LaurenG22 LaurenG22 8 years
If you are married, why not just spend the holiday together and create your OWN traditions as a marital unit? IF it is that expensive, just stay home together.
sonya-ina sonya-ina 8 years
In fact, my husband and I are spending this coming New Years apart so he can make some extra money. He gets double pay if he works the holiday, so I'll be staying with my family and he'll be heading home to work. It makes me sad, but we definitely need the money.
cali_student cali_student 8 years
I'm actually not going home east this Christmas since it's getting too expensive to balance bills with school, books etc. and I had three weddings to go back for this summer. :S But my dad's coming to visit over Thanksgiving so it's not so bad. Incidentally, if some of you haven't checked lately, flight prices have come down quite a bit from a couple of months ago... so take a look again if you haven't lately!
Kimpossible Kimpossible 8 years
I think it would depend on how long it had been since he'd seen his family and any elderly/ill family members who are in the mix. Otherwise, we're married and we are the family now if we both couldn't go then it would be us staying together at our home. We've actually had to do this the past 2 years since we moved away from all of our family on the East coast. However, we've both been back to see our parents separately this year - just not for a holiday. Holidays are spent together at home with our children.
bkitdwnchica bkitdwnchica 8 years
only if it was for something important
0fashionqueen 0fashionqueen 8 years
I agree with you hm and I like my space, but when you are serious with somebody then no way would I ever spend it without my spouse.
hmcmcd hmcmcd 8 years
no way. I have never and would never. Even when our parents lived 2 or 3 hours apart from each other we always made it work. Some years we would do Christmas eve with my family and Christmas day with his. Some years we would get up super early and do one in the morning for Christmas breakfast and then one a night for dinner. But never apart. When my sister and her husband lived in MA (we live in Fl) my mom would always offer to buy one of their tickets so that they only had to pay for one and that way they could both come. I can't imagine a family not offering at least that.
0fashionqueen 0fashionqueen 8 years
I just mate this guy and we have not being together for to long, but he is going somewhere for the holidays and I am going somewhere for the holidays. However, I wold never spend time away from my husband whom I just married on the first holiday. I would find a way to be with him and as for me and my new boyfriend maybe some other time; like the next holiday.
carak carak 8 years
we're spending thanksgiving with his family, but christmas i'm not sure about. i think he will be spending it with his family and i'll be staying here with my family. money is not that much of a factor because his family is 5 hours away and mine is 15 minutes away, so he'd be able to drive. i'm just not able to get off from work, i have christmas eve & christmas day off, he has christmas day and the day after off. i have to work the day after. i really dont want to spend the holiday apart, but his family is farther away so we don't get to see them as much as my family.
heineken67 heineken67 8 years
I would if we still lived together the rest of the year. It's a much harder choice now that we're stuck being long distance for a few years.
HeidiMD HeidiMD 8 years
I would definitely consider it, especially if money was a problem. Unfortunately, both of our families live very far away (my dad lives in Alaska, and his parents live in Maine) from where we live in Seattle, so it would be pricey either way. However, they are all coming here this year for our wedding.
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 8 years
No way. There are many things I'd cut back on (any Christmas presents for starters) before giving up my time with my family or fiancee for the holidays. I'm in an LDR, and it's going to be tough for him to come home, but totally worth it.
psterling psterling 8 years
When my husband and I were dating it would've been ok but now we're married and we're a family so it would be a lot harder to be separated. I would still considerate but I don't think either one of us would really be in favor of it.
ilanac13 ilanac13 8 years
it's interesting that you posted this today. my fiance and i were JUST talking about this last night because he wants to go to Dallas to see his family for thanksgiving but because of financial issues, it's going to be hard...i told him that it would be ok if he went to see them, and i would stay east in NYC. i don't know if that's what we'll end up doing, but i've certainly considered it.
Shopaholichunny Shopaholichunny 8 years
Nope I would not and could not. I have not spent the last 2 (holidays) years with my boyfriend because of the War in Iraq and finally this year he will be home with me and I'm NOT gonna let him go anywhere! ;) :love:
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