Try not to scream. The master of Cumberbitches, Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch, took to Reddit today to answer all of Sherlock, Star Trek Into Darkness, and Hobbit fandoms' burning questions. This is the Reddit AMA to end all Reddit AMAs. We present some of _BenedictCumberbatch's best moments on The Front Page of the Internet.

Do you, Matt Smith, and Tom Hiddleston have cheekbone-polishing parties?

_BenedictCumberbatch: "We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend f*ck fantasy. Get to work on that, Internet."

How he responded to this image:

_BenedictCumberbatch: "Phenomenal. Why does Matt have the hammer? Sure it's the wrong household tool? Shouldn't it be a sonic toothbrush with a screwdriver on the end of it? And what's Simon Pegg doing staring at my abundant locks? And where's his right hand?"


What's the weirdest encounter you've had with a fan?

_BenedictCumberbatch: "Ted Danson at a pre-Oscar party screaming across a floor of people like Leonardo DiCaprio, Ray Liotta, Kristen Stewart, Kirsten Dunst, et al. while pushing past them and knocking their drinks. "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! IT'S F*CKING SHERLOCK HOLMES!"

What was your favorite prank, done by you or to you, on or off set?

_BenedictCumberbatch: "Neutron cream. Come on, people!

PS. Anytime you're in a restaurant with a group of friends and one of them goes to the restroom or bathroom (presume there are many nationalities involved in this AMA), tell the waiter that it's that person's birthday. Not only is it fun to embarrass the hell out of the poor victim, but you get free cake in the bargain."

My wife would sincerely like to know if you are wearing anything under your robe . . .

_BenedictCumberbatch: "You should be asking who's naked under it with me."

There are millions of reasons as to why I watch Sherlock, and your perfect comedic timing is most definitely one of them!

_BenedictCumberbatch: "Thank you. I learned from the master, Martin Freeman."

Is fame different from how you imagined it would be?

_BenedictCumberbatch: "You can't imagine fame. You can only ever see it from an outsider and comment on it with the rueful wisdom of a nonparticipant. When it happens to you, it doesn't matter what age or how, it is a very steep learning curve. The important thing to realize in all of it is that life is short, to protect the ones you love, and not expose yourself to too much abuse or narcissistic reflection gazing and move on. If fame affords me the type of ability to do the kind of work I'm being offered, who am I to complain about the downsides. It's all relative. And this are obviously very high class problems. The way privacy becomes an every shrinking island is inevitable but also manageable and it doesn't necessary have to get that way . . . "

Has your sass increased since working with Martin Freeman, or were you always this sassy?

_BenedictCumberbatch: "Well of course Martin will be furious unless I say I owe it all to him. And believe me, his wrath is more fearsome than any dragons."

Is it hard to keep the secret of how Sherlock survived? Do you ever have the urge to tell someone?

_BenedictCumberbatch: "I cry myself to sleep at night. And then wake up laughing."

QUICK. What's in your pocket right now?

_Benedict Cumberbatch: "My hand."

How are you typing?

_Benedict Cumberbatch: "My left foot."

It's all very good, so do yourself a favor, and read Benedict's Reddit AMA in its entirety.