The new iPhones [1] are so yesterday. Vertu has released a new Android phone [2] called the Aster, and it will only cost you $6,900. (That's actually quite the steal, considering its Signature Touch model costs $10,300).

What will that much dough get you? A luxurious handmade smartphone that comes with a sapphire screen, titanium frame, and high-quality leather back. Upgrade to snakeskin or ostrich skin for more money. Plus, for six months, you get a free personal concierge you can call up any hour of the day, plus 12 months of free antivirus/antimalware and remote lock services.

Other details you won't remember because you will never buy this phone: 4.7-inch 1080p display, 801 2.3Ghz quad-core processor, 13MP rear camera, 2.1MP front-facing camera, built-in stereo speakers, and 10-band LTE connectivity.

Maybe one will pop up in the feeds of the rich adults of Instagram [3], and we can all roll our eyes together.