Meet Dale. Featured on Funny or Die, Dale wants to tutor you in the ways of the Internet. . . circa 1997. Not only is Dale not smooth at all, he, like many awkward Lotharios, knows how to utilize chat for his own purposes.
But if he's not smooth, neither is the World Wide Web of the late '90s — note the time-lapse editing while Dale waits over 10 minutes to find out what the capital of, uh, Dallas is!