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How Not to Virtually Stalk Someone

Tech Dating 101: How Not to Virtually Stalk Him

One of my favorite scenes in He's Just Not That Into You is when Gigi and Janine are at a bar, and Gigi tears up a guy's business card for not being clear about if he actually wanted to call her. It's a lightbulb moment, since previously she had been staring at her phone non-stop and checking her voicemail every five minutes. We've probably all been there at some point in our lives, but now it's even easier to find out about people on the Internet. With MySpace, Facebook, Twitter and a number of other social networking sites, you can see where people are, what kind of food they like to eat, and what kind of music they are into with just a few clicks. Now that I say that, it's actually kind of scary, right?

And if you're just starting to date someone, it can be very tempting to Google his name and start checking his Twitter feeds every hour to see what he has been doing. But please, resist the urge my friends. If you already know everything about a person after only a few dates, what kind of revelations and cool facts will you uncover when you're actually in the same room? I've put together a list of things you shouldn't do in the early stages of a dating relationship, so you can make the most of your time together, and generally not come off like a creepy online stalker. Find out what they are when you


  • Stay far, far away from 123 People.
  • Don't friend him on Facebook until there's an intro. Like one of you asks, "Hey, so are you on Facebook?"
  • Definitely don't follow him on Twitter (or secretly follow him on Tweetstalk) unless you've exchanged Twitter names.
  • Don't assign him a speed dial until the relationship is on solid ground.
  • Don't call and hang up. You should know this by now.
  • Don't Google Street View his address and try to guess which apartment is his.
  • Don't bookmark or loiter around his Flicker photo stream.
  • Don't friend him on Loopt until you're in an established relationship, or have decided to just be friends. This would be creepy.
Image Source: Getty
Jen-Erate Jen-Erate 7 years
I agree, but no way that woman in the photo staring at her computer is obsessing over a man. She is way too hot to not have him wrapped around her finger.
42dates 42dates 8 years
Totally agree with everything except the speed dial. Modern phones can hold thousands of numbers and can organize contacts. I find it convenient to have all my "black book" names in one place. And to keep my phone locked at ALL TIMES. I find that I'm most worried about people stalking just after the first date. To avoid that, change your voicemail so that your outgoing message does NOT contain your last name. Do it right now. It completely disarms most "people finder" web sites. Also, if you're online dating (which is what I mainly do), register in a different (but nearby) town. Use different towns with every person. Put which town you told them into your phone. Of course, most people exchange mobile phone numbers. My best tip is to sign up for a service like Google Voice (once it is broadly available) and give out that number. It's completely untraceable, plus you can block someone from calling using point-n-click. Beats carrying a prepaid phone along with your normal phone.
emmebeth emmebeth 8 years
Haha...I searched my own name on 123People and I actually found an article about me that I never knew existed!
Frenched Frenched 8 years
Good tips. I agree that, although a lot of information is instantly accessible on the Internet nowadays, it's still healthy to get to know a person the old-fashioned way.
c-a-t-h c-a-t-h 8 years
Very very very sound advice.
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