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Unfriending Facebook Friends 2009-10-20 07:30:31

Ask a Geek Girl: Dealing With Annoying FB Status Updates

We probably all have one or two in our update feed: a friend whose Facebook status updates — for any reason — drive you nuts. Maybe they update too frequently, are serious oversharers, or post updates about things you just don't find interesting. Reader DefyAllLogic posted this etiquette question in our Ask a Geek Girl group:

"I've already created lists of 'friends' and 'not really friends' and have my homepage set to only show the 'friends' updates. But I'm starting to think I need to only be Facebook friends with people I'm friends with in real life. Is it wrong to defriend people because their status updates are annoying?"

For my advice,


Now that the friending frenzy seems to have ended, a lot of people are looking to streamline their Facebook friends list. When I asked, 82 percent of you said you've had to unfriend someone, whether it was the result of a failed relationship, a falling-out, or just because you didn't feel close enough with the person to consider them a Facebook friend. I'm a big fan of Facebook's "hide" features that allow you to block out status updates, photos, and other unwanted content from friends. This begs the question: if you don't want to receive someone's Facebook updates, what's the point of being their Facebook friend?

If you're ready to pare down your friends list, create a list of friend standards. Try, "I'm only Facebook friends with people I'd feel comfortable calling on the phone." Having a set of rules in place gives you a defense if your former Facebook friend confronts you after figuring out you've defriended them Besides, if Miss Manners says ignoring friend requests is OK, then gracefully defriending is acceptable, too!


Do you have more Facebook friend advice for DefyAllLogic? Share your thoughts with the group in the comments.

Do you have a tech question you'd like to ask us? Join the Ask a Geek Girl group where you can ask everything and anything related to technology. And you never know, it could be featured on GeekSugar! Here's a detailed guide to posting questions or posts to groups if you are new to the PopSugar Community.

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Join The Conversation
vankunder vankunder 7 years
I have this one friend from college who has such bad status updates, that myself and three other friends have a message feed dedicated just to laughing at how horrendous her statuses are. Mean? Yes. Hilarious? Hell yes.
sparklestar sparklestar 7 years
Somebody I know is CONSTANTLY making updates about her boyfriend and it's driving me crazy! "I hope I get to talk to him tonight" OH SHUT UP.
mouldy mouldy 7 years
i dont really mind random/bad fb statuses but i hate those that PUBLISH ALL THEIR GAMES!!!! I am guilty of playing games too but I don't publish. i dont need to know that it's your personal best 7 times in a row in Pot Pies 2!! OMG.
CiaoBella01 CiaoBella01 7 years
i agree with runningesq! i had (HAD) a friend who would complain to me in person about how horrible her life is and then 3 minutes later she will have an epiphany and find the need to put it on her facebook to let the world know that she is ok and i KNOW she just wants people to comment to be like.. oh sweetie r u ok?! speaking of which i hate people who post comments that are inviting comments. status whores...
Akasha Akasha 7 years
I have had to de-friend people who have gotten into arguments with other people on my facebook wall. I had a situation where a friend from college who is a bit of a right winger got into a huge fight with one of my granola eating-liberal-hippy friends on my wall, and all over one of my status updates that oddly enough was a quote from a 1980's horror movie. I also have had to remove guy I accepted a friend request from because all of his updates were hyper religious and a bit condescending to anyone that isn't a devout Christian. My Jewish, Muslim, Catholic and Wiccan friends were starting to get really offended and wanted to say something, but I just removed him before another fight on my wall ensued. I have also removed someone who refuses to stop sending me random requests to join his Vampire Clan, his Mob, and become a virtual farmer.
SheArtiste SheArtiste 7 years
My own friend list is quite small, compared to some, and only includes people I know who I'd like to keep up with. I've had to tread very carefully with my daughter's friends, who sent me friend requests, but don't want an adult to actually post anything on their pages - it's just that they keep social score with their friend count. For that reason, I'd never 'unfriend' any of them. I hid their updates and only look at their pages occasionally, never leaving comments and never mentioning something they posted on their pages in a face-to-face conversation, or to their parents.
care0531 care0531 7 years
I have defriended people for many reasons. When I first signed up for Facebook I was so excited to see people I went to HS and College with. I becamse friends with all them and then I realized that I am not really close with a lot of these people anymore and I deleted a lot of them. I also found it not a good idea to have co-workers on as facebook friends unless you are really good friends with them.
TidalWave TidalWave 7 years
well there are friends who i want to see their facebook statuses, but voluntarily. i dont want to see it popping up in my feed but i have no problem manually going to their page. i do this about once a week. however, i am only friends with people on FB if i'm seriously friends with them in real life. and not just "we were in 5th grade together" friends either.
caty1221 caty1221 7 years
i agree with both of you.... i've defriended lots of people for annoying statuses. there's this one girl who wrote a status everytime something changed... she'd be like "i hate my life my boyfriend sucks" and then 15 mins later it'd be " love my boyfriend he's the best." the play by play was annoying. i also dislike ignorant statuses either about political things or sensitive subjects those people got defriended too.
runningesq runningesq 7 years
I SO hear you, kate ! other FB statuses that annoy the p!ss out of me: - detailed information about your baby's poop. - ... I had a friend (HAD!) who was bitching and moaning about how the nike outlet didn't sell xs shorts, and how unfair that was. UGH. - the annoyingly "whimsical" posts someone I know makes: "dancing on air, life is so beautiful" blahblah
kismekate kismekate 7 years
I have totally defriended people over their obnoxious facebook status'. I can't STAND people tAlKi*ng lIKe DIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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