American Horror Story: Cult may be weaving one tale of terror surrounding the election and humiliated men and what happens when they lash out — which is scary in a pointed-commentary way — but this season of Ryan Murphy's horror anthology is also letting loose with a marauding gang of murderous clowns, which is scary in a 100-percent-OMG-nightmare-fuel way.
So far we count seven clowns on the show — if you don't count the politicians . . . ba-dump-bum! — so here is your guide to the clowns of AHS: Cult.
A fan favorite, AHS couldn't do a clown-themed season without bringing back Freak Show's Twisty . . . even if it's just in the form of a comic book tale playing out on screen inside little Ozzy's head.
This clown with comedy, tragedy, and rage represented (complete with a phallic nose on each face) is first seen terrorizing Ally in the grocery store. He is also part of the gang that murdered the Changs and . . .
. . . may or may not have been in bed with Ally. Jury's still out as to what is real and what's a hallucination.
This charming young woman stalks Ally in the grocery store and is later the clown who bursts out at her from the back seat of her car. She also helps murder the Changs and then sends Ally tumbling over the stair railing in episode two. Quite the busy little bee.
Is a clown dressed as a little girl the creepiest of them all? Perhaps. This girl is part of the grocery store / Chang murder crew.
. . . the two clowns gettin' down on the watermelon.
This is the clown who comes into Ozzy's room in episode two but thankfully decides to leave little Ozzy alone. But also . . .
. . . he's the clown who Ally may or may not have seen jerking off into the soup at the restaurant. Ewwww.