Returning to work after having a baby is a feat in itself. You've somehow recovered just enough to put on regular pants (maybe), regular underwear (maybe), and a regular bra to boot (yeah right). Regardless of when you've chosen to head back to the office, chances are that if you're breastfeeding your newborn, you'll likely decide to pump while you're away from them. You certainly don't have to pump, but not doing so can make some new moms physically uncomfortable, as their breasts can engorge throughout the day.
So what happens, exactly, when you're given that special key to the dimly lit mother's room in the recesses of your office? Absurd things, and then some. Mamas, if you've had to schlep your hospital-grade Medela to the office and found yourself burrowed in some weird room while your coworkers mill around outside, then you have definitely felt the following things.
No matter how discreet you try to be when leaving the room, you always end up walking straight out into a sea of people who all stop working and look directly at you.
Not a good look.
At which point you quickly order a backup of everything you could possibly need to leave at your desk for the future.
The machine sounds so much quieter at home.
You are the epitome of getting sh*t done. You'd like to see someone else try to produce milk and publish content at the same time.
Clunk, clunk, clunk.
"Hi, me again. Can I just sneak in and get my milk out of the fridge? I won't look."