Once upon a time, in certain circles, I was considered stylish, clothing-obsessed, and maybe even fashion-forward. I worked as a magazine editor, and looking good seemed like a job requirement, one that I relished, along with the endless parties, all of which obviously (in my mind at least) required a new outfit. Then I became a mom, started working from home, and my closet full of event-ready dresses, chic tops, and way-too-small skinny jeans sat mocking me . . . for years. My formerly fabulous closet collected dust, then became decidedly outdated and age-inappropriate, as I spent half a decade reaching for the yoga pants, striped t-shirts, and sack dresses that had become my sad staples.
It wasn't until recently, five years after I had my daughter and two after I had my son, that I've reclaimed my inner fashionista, version 2.0. At my daughter's kindergarten curriculum night last week, I complimented a mom friend of mine on her cute top. "That means a lot coming from you," she replied. "You always look so stylish." I thanked her and moved on, but inside I was beaming. It was the first time anyone who had only met me after I became a mom had acted like my style-sense was a given. "Baby, I'm back," I wanted to shout.
Call me shallow, but how I dress has always been a big part of my identity. Somewhere during the years of pregnancy, breastfeeding, and baby and toddler raising, I lost that part of myself, and I missed it. Here are some simple ways that I got it back, and you can, too.
A big part of my years of style apathy (besides consistent sleep deprivation) revolved around me waiting to look like my old, 10-pounds-thinner self before I bought anything that cost more than $20. Eventually, I did lose most of that weight, but surprise, surprise, my body was still different, and I needed new clothes to flatter my wider hips and rounder belly. Once I started accepting my new bod instead of acting like it was a temporary imposition, I wanted to dress it up.
My kids will give me approximately 30-45 seconds to get ready at home, which is why I shower and dress every morning at the gym, while my toddler is safely ensconced in the childcare area. For me, putting on an outfit I put a little thought into (and didn't sleep in the night before) and a little makeup makes me feel more like myself.
I used to love a diverse wardrobe, but these days, I keep it simple. Summer is shift dresses or shorts and short-sleeved tees or button-downs with sandals. Fall and Spring are long-sleeved button downs and skinny or straight jeans with cute sneakers or flats, and in Winter, I pretty much wear an oversize sweater, jeans, and ankle boots every day. If I need to dress things up, I add a statement accessory or heels.
It took me way too long to get rid of the insane number of expensive cocktail and work dresses that I had collected throughout my 20s, but I eventually realized that their day had come and gone, that both fashion and I had moved on. Getting rid of the past freed me up to find a fashionable new look (and a ton of closet space).
Still wearing a nursing bra with a drop cup a year after giving up breastfeeding like I was? Throw it in the trash and go buy yourself something pretty — now.
Shopping as a 37-year-old mom can make you feel like Goldilocks searching for the "just right" store. It seems like every retailer skews too young or too old. Find a few shops where you feel like you could confidently wear pretty much anything inside (mine are Madewell, Anthropologie, and J.Crew), and relieve the stress.
Every woman knows the rule: Have nothing on the calendar and you'll see a million cute cocktail dresses to covet. But when you're looking for a dress for an event, you won't find a single one. Buy the great dress that works with your new style — and that you feel comfortable in — before you need it, so it's already there when you do.
This has been a big one for me now that my household clothing budget has to cover four people, not just me. I've learned that I don't have to spend a ton of money to look stylish, and no matter the cost, it's worth it to me. After all, I like clothes. Always have, always will.