Motherhood presents many moments where all you can do is slap your forehead with the palm of your hand and say, "Are you kidding me?" Call it mommy brain or simply blame having too many distractions; I'm pretty sure it happens to most of us daily (if not several times a day). Just yesterday I took my son to the dermatologist and somehow among all my efforts to keep him behaving I also totally forgot to ask the one question that I made the appointment for in the first place. Cue palm to face. Simply put: motherhood can make you feel like you're absolutely losing it, which is why we can all relate to these hilarious face-palm moments.
And it rips to shreds in the washing machine.
And don't have any sandwich bread.
And you realize that you suck at making homemade play-dough.
And you go check on the water after 10 minutes only to find that you turned on the wrong burner.
And push blend without putting on the top of the canister.
And learn that Crocs shrink when hot (no, seriously, they really do).
And she feels otherwise.
And you realize her backpack is sitting on your kitchen counter.
And realize it needs to cook for another hour, but your child is going to melt down in no less than 10 minutes unless he eats.
And your little one wakes up to nurse way earlier than expected.
And find that you forgot to actually turn it on before heading out for the day.
And everyone complains and refuses to eat any of it.
And see that you just ran over your daughter's favorite toy.
And it turns out he has strep, an ear infection, a UTI, and the flu.
And totally forget that it's not dishwasher safe.
And your son got your daughter's and your daughter got your son's.
And your child can't get the door open so you have to get out of your car in the middle of the car line and help her.
And realize you forgot the tops for your bottles at home.
And didn't set the timer.
And you come across a letter that says it's your day for snack.
And you didn't realize you were having a serious wardrobe malfunction until you get in your car to go home.
And you make a giant hot carafe of formula instead.
And they look exactly like chocolate-covered frozen penises.
And totally forget about them until you discover them on top of your closet months after the occasion.
And you find them in the microwave the following morning.
And you totally ruin it.
And so it's smoothies all around.
And completely ruin what it is you were trying to preserve.
And quickly burn the crap out of it.
And realize your kids got cheese stains all over your back and you had no idea until your husband came home from work and asked why you have cheese all over your back.
And leave it in the car overnight.
And you realize there is one in there from three days ago and it smells like mildew.
And they come out all stuck together.
And you realize your brood ate nothing but loads of sugar and processed food.
And it's a total fail.
And you have to dig through the trash.
And realize you packed your toddler's socks instead of your own.
And never actually lock the ones with the really dangerous stuff.
And he says, "That's not road . . . that's tape."
And they ask why Mommy doesn't have to put her shoes away too.