Most people will resolve to eat better, exercise, and stay health conscious for 2016. It's pretty much the same spiel each year. Most of us know that going to McDonald's for a Big Mac is not a great choice for our bodies and that we would be better off eating veggies and lean proteins, so there's no need to beat a dead horse.
What most people don't think about though is how important it is to have more sex with their partners. Why? Well, some people get all red in the face when you start a conversation with them about sex. Some people may think that if someone is open to sexual conversation, perhaps that woman or man is "loose," but in my opinion, those people are missing out. Then again, I'm the girl who wrote two songs about ovarian and sperm function (proper words were used in all verses — no potty words!) for her middle school sex education teacher, fondly known as "Banana Boobs" by the kids.
I am so sorry Banana Boobs for calling you that behind your back.
You don't have to be one inch kinky and could even prefer sex in the missionary position each time, and having more sex would still be crucial for you and your relationship in 2016. Here's why:
Think about when you first had your child/children. All the bonding — snuggling, bottle feeds, nursing, cosleeping, or just rocking that little one to sleep — helped you to form a bond with that child. Sex does the same thing for your relationship. It is a reminder of why you chose this person. It is a connection you have with no one else. When you have sex with your partner you're reminding that person, "Hey, I love you still." When one partner keeps rejecting the other partner sexually, it can be incredibly damaging to the partner's self-esteem and ultimately, the partnership. Do not become roommates because constant separateness and platonic activities create space between two people. This doesn't mean you have to be up each other's butts in order to stay together but that getting physical keeps the love alive.
You two are both setting the stage for what your children's future relationships will look like in so many ways. Take time for each other and don't feel like a bad mother when you do so. Being a good wife or partner is just part of your new job description as mom. Don't ever feel bad for wanting time alone with your partner. If you start to feel like you could care less if you ever spend a single minute with your main squeeze, it's time to start thinking about why you feel this way, and perhaps maybe it's time to separate or see a counselor together.
With sex, you can reverse your everyday life roles. Are you a type-A person? Perhaps sexually, you can be submissive. Are you an introvert by day? Maybe you can get your freak on during role-play, dirty talk, or a wee bit of S&M at night. Fifty Shades, perhaps? When you have a partner you love and trust, sex is a safe place to let loose and have fun, and having fun keeps you younger and healthier. See? More sex = younger = healthier!
OK, so now that I've sold you on why you should get intimate more frequently with your partner, you're probably wondering how that's supposed to happen. Here are my tips and solutions: