Harry Potter can teach us a lot about love, friendship, life, and apparently, a lot about sex, too. Or, you know, at least how to get some. Between the spells and sorcery, there's a magical charm on screen that absolutely translates to IRL — and even online dating apps, too. Enter: dirty Harry Potter pickup lines.
Whether you identify more with being a Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Slytherin, these magical Harry Potter pickup lines are dirty, inappropriate, and completely hilarious. Seriously, Potterheads will get a good laugh practicing these sexual lines on one another. Regardless of if you're using them as a joke or you're sincere about these dirty Harry Potter jokes, they'll spice things up with anyone you have an intimate relationship with (or are trying to have an intimate relationship with).
Try your luck with these sexual Harry Potter lines on true Harry Potter fans, and you may find your match made in Potterhead heaven. Just remember to only send pickup lines to people who you think they will be well received by, or, at least, use your best judgment. If you've never met someone before, it's probably best not to dive head-first into the dirtiest Harry Potter pickup line from this list.
— Additional reporting by Haley Lyndes
You can put your basilisk in my Chamber of Secrets.
Is that a wand in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
I've been told my snake makes Nagini look small.
I don't need the Aguamenti charm to make you wet.
When I look in the Mirror of Erised, I see you.
You're like a bottle of Skele-Gro: you're growing me a bone.
I'll open my Gryffindor and you can most definitely Slytherin . . .
Did you just Expelliarmus? Because your smile is disarming.
One night with me and they'll be calling you Moaning Myrtle.
You can hide your dragon in my Forbidden Forest.
I can be your house elf. I'll do whatever you want, and I don't need any clothes.
If you were a Dementor, I'd become a criminal just to get a kiss.
I'd like to visit your Restricted Section tonight . . .
Did you just cast Petrificus Totalus? Because you just made me stiff.
It's a Portkey — once you touch it, it will take you somewhere you've never been before.
I've been Whomping my Willow thinking about you.
When I need to make a Patronus, you're my happy thought.