Season seven of American Horror Story [1] premiered on Tuesday night, and the first episode of Cult [2] has us very shaken [3]. While the episode follows two people with polar opposite reactions to the outcome of the 2016 presidential election, the heavy mix of terrifying clowns [4] just brings it to a whole new level. We see Ally Mayfair-Richards (Sarah Paulson) [5] spiral out of control after Donald Trump [6]'s victory. Her marriage to Ivy (Alison Pill) starts to unravel after Ally's debilitating phobias [7] return due to her stress (she's afraid of clowns, small holes, bumps, blood, etc). On the other hand, Kai Anderson (Evan Peters) is thrilled with the new president and starts spreading the word that fear is the thing that will always win in the end.
While Ally tries to control her clown hallucinations for the sake of her and Ivy's son, Oz, he also starts to see them popping up in his neighborhood. Is Kai behind the group of murderous clowns? Is it all in Ally's head? And what the hell is the deal with Winter Anderson (Billie Lourde)? We presume she's Kai's sister, but she's an adamant Hillary Clinton supporter, so their whole dynamic is extremely weird. We're already terrified for episode two, but we need to discuss what has already gone down.
When the Episode Starts With Footage From Election Night and You Immediately Get PTSD
When Ally Starts Hysterically Crying and Her Neighbor Very Calmly Says, "Trump's Gonna Get Us All Killed"
When Ally and Ivy Fear For Their Rights as a Couple and Their Son Tells Them, "I Don't Want You to Not Be Married Anymore"
When Kai Humps His TV After Trump Wins the Election
When Kai Blends a Bag of Cheetos and Rubs the Orange Dust All Over His Face to Look Like Trump
When Ally Catches Oz Reading a Twisty the Clown Comic Book, and It Triggers Her Intense Fear of Clowns
When Ally Goes to Her Therapist and Reveals Her Trypophobia, aka an Intense Fear of Small Holes, Is Also Back
And Then She Quickly Starts to Unravel and Sees Clowns EVERYWHERE
Like When She Enters the Supermarket and Thinks a Group of Clowns Are Stalking and Taunting Her
And 2 Clowns Are Having Sex in the Produce Section While the Others Chase Her Around the Store
But It Turns Out to Be Just a Hallucination (or IS IT?!)
When Kai Speaks at a City Counsel Meeting to Try and Convince Them to Let the Public Burn Down the Jewish Community Center
And They Basically Tell Him to Get Out, to Which He Replies, "There's Nothing More Dangerous Than a Humiliated Man"
When Kai Throws His Coffee on Ally and Ivy After They Hug in Public and Says, "Enjoy Your Latte, B*tch"
AND He Pees Into a Condom and Throws It at a Group of Construction Workers While Shouting Racial Slurs, and They Attack Him
But You Realize That Was His Plan All Along When an Unknown Person Records Them Beating Him Up
When Kai and Winter Talk About Pain (Anal Sex in This Case) and Kai Asks, "Was There Poop?"
And You Realize They're Probably Brother and Sister Since They Have a Weird Pinky Finger Handshake
When Ally and Ivy Hire Winter as a Nanny For Oz and It's Clear She Has Ulterior Motives
And She Immediately Starts Showing Him Videos of Murder and Telling Him He Only Has One "Real" Mom
When Oz Looks Out His Bedroom Window and Sees a Group of Murderous Clowns Slowly Get Out of an Ice Cream Truck
And They Proceed to Enter His Neighbor's House and Brutally Kill the Husband and Wife
The husband also happens to be the same guy from the City Counsel board that told Kai to leave.
When Winter Tells Ally and Ivy That Oz Is Lying About Seeing Clowns Enter Their Neighbor's House
Even though she was the one that brought him outside to look?!?!
When You Thought You Couldn't Take Anymore but the Episode Ends With Ally Waking Up to Find a Clown Next to Her in Bed
