The season premiere of American Horror Story: Freak Show [1] finally arrived this week, and there was a lot to take in. First of all, Twisty the Clown managed to scare the ever-loving crap out of us while making an homage to the Zodiac movie [2], all at once. And, of course, there was no shortage of absurdly quotable moments [3] that we promptly wanted to work into our vernacular. Keep scrolling to see our favorite quotes from the premiere, and don't forget to see how different everyone looks out of their costumes [4].

When Elsa Is Told Not to Smoke in the Hospital

Oh, man. If only. Cut to the entire hospital exploding.

When Elsa Is Talking to the Bette and Dot For the First Time

Elsa! Please! Where even are your manners? Also, doesn't this line almost sound like a Beyoncé lyric?

When Bette Talks About Masturbating, and Dot Interjects

Listen, we don't condone slut shaming; it's just funny because half of one person is calling its other half a slut. Thinking about it makes you dizzy.

When Elsa Totally Dines and Dashes

Um, definitely going to try using this during every future dining experience.

When Jimmy Is Just DONE

Man, if I had a dime for every throat I slashed when I was called a name, I'd have zero dimes. But, well, we all have those moments, right?

This Weird Mother/Son Bonding Moment

Good heavens. There are so, so many inappropriate contexts for this one.