Our favorite jailbirds on Orange Is the New Black [1] haven't just worked their way into our hearts; they also make us crack up. Some of the lines on the Netflix show are so funny that we want to repeat them — even if, you know, they were originally used in the prison context. They're just too good, so we've figured out how you can use them in your non-Litchfield life, while you're sitting around waiting for more details about Orange Is the New Black season six [2] and peeping on the cast in real life [3].

After You Regulate on Someone

Every Monday

When You've Got So Much Pizza

When Someone Crosses You

When Your Friend Has B.O.

When You Dress Business Casual

When You're Hangry

When You're Leaving to Go Anywhere

At the Salon

After the Salon

When You Need to Soothe Someone

When You're Rocking a New Outfit

At Sunday Brunch

When You Get Dumped

When You Need to Inspire Everyone

When Complaining

When Documenting Behavior

When You're in a Fight With Your BFF

When Something Is Really Depressing

When Someone Doesn't Get Harry Potter

At KFC

When You See a Terrible Pair of Shoes

When You're Raging at the Bakery

When You Need the Last Word

When You Need a New Put-Down

When You Need Someone to Shut Up

When Counting Your Blessings

When Falling For a New Person

When The Help Is Not on TV

When You Admit You're Wrong About Diet Dr Pepper Tasting Like Regular Dr Pepper

When It's More Than Regular Crazy

While Watching Trashy TV

When You Need to Woo Someone With Some Real Poetry

In a Fight With Your Significant Other

When Your BFF Needs a Compliment

When You Need to Explain Your 'Do

When B*tches Gots to Learn