Lately, swimwear has been on my brain. With the warm weather, I've felt the urge to add to my growing collection of age-appropriate but cute suits. While the resurgence of the one-piece has definitely increased my options, I've gotta tell you, I've been a little disheartened by what they're lacking in one particular area of coverage. So, swimwear companies, I'd like to make a simple request from us moms out there: please continue making on-trend, stylish, and even sexy one-pieces, but could you please also make some that cover our bums?
Recently I was at a resort populated by many adorable teens and 20-somethings, many of whom were sporting this latest trend of, let's call it, the half-thong [1]. Their perky little bottoms were semi-exposed, and I have to admit, they looked pretty cute. I'd like to think mine would have looked equally adorable when I was their age, but I'm coming up on my 37th birthday, and despite the borderline torturous number of squats [2], lunges, and pliés I force myself to do weekly, I've officially passed the point of an exposed bum being anything but inappropriate.
Beyond the physical realities (thank you, gravity, childbirth [4], and lessening skin elasticity) that have left my backside less high, mighty, and dimple free than it used to be, there's also the truth of what a day at the pool or beach looks like now versus when my bum was in top form. During those good-old days I would spend hours lounging, doing nothing more than thumbing through a book or magazine and occasionally flipping myself over for an even tan. Today, however, I spend most of my time chasing after a toddler and preschooler [5], and that cute half-bum-out style would undoubtedly turn into a full moon after my first sprint to keep my 2-year-old from swallowing a mouth full of sand or chlorine-saturated pool water. Not a good look, if you ask me.
I get it that these days, butts are big, both trendwise and in actual size. Sporting a sizable rump myself, I'm grateful for the bum love. But that doesn't mean I want the world to see mine only half covered by a strip of spandex.
So many times during my search (mostly online) for the perfect one-piece, I've thought I found the perfect suit, only to be disappointed when I click the rear view. That reversible twist one-piece: colorful and cool in the front, half covered in the back. A tank top: sporty from the front, barely there from the back. That scoopneck with subtle but sexy lace-up sides: totally half-assed. I've had some luck with my old stand-by J.Crew and even with Loft, a store I now refer to as the gateway mom shop. But every time I see a superchic one-piece suit, I get cautiously excited. Maybe this will be the one the designed to cover all my bits. And when I see it's not, there's only one way I can describe my reaction: totally bummed.