Consider it the holiday gift list to end all lists. Gwyneth Paltrow [1]'s Goop Gift Guide [2] has arrived, and it's every bit as over the top as we imagined. Still, there are a few pieces that had us really scratching our heads. From the exorbitantly expensive to the just plain confuzzling (a $2,000 safety pin earring, anyone?) we rounded up the nine fashion finds that seriously had us saying WTF. Plus, we added in a little of our own commentary, just for fun.
Anita Ko Gold Safety Pin Earring
What the caption says: "This single earring works perfectly with a simple stud in the opposite ear."
What it should say: "This single earring is so expensive, we decided to forgo its pair."
Shop it: Anita Ko Gold Safety Pin Earring [3] ($1,995)
The Row Rina Fringed Cape
What the caption says: "A totally chic, wearable blanket."
What it should say: "We could wear our whole living room for less."
Shop it: The Row Rina Fringed Cape [4] ($3,190)
ArtizanWork 3D Silhouette Charm
What the caption says: "The sort of thing you'll have forever."
What it should say: "The tiny, expensive charm you'll lose immediately."
Shop it: ArtizanWork 3D Silhouette Charm [5] ($1,100)
Valentino Canvas Trolley
What the caption says: "Yeah right, but how cool is this?"
What it should say: "Luggage that's precious enough for its own first class seat."
Shop it: Valentino Canvas Trolley [6] ($4,545)
Golden Goose Slide Sneakers
What the caption says: "14 yos know Golden Goose?"
What it should say: "14 yos don't know Golden Goose and don't care either."
Shop it: Golden Goose Slide Sneakers [7] ($575)
Charlotte Olympia Kinky Clutch
What the caption says: "Kinky Indeed"
What it should say: "The clutch so luxe, you handcuffed it to yourself."
Shop it: Charlotte Olympia Kinky Clutch [8] ($1,295)
Balenciaga Leather Biker Jacket
What the caption says: "Quite simply, the only leather jacket you'll ever need."
What it should say: "For the 1 percent who want to feel edgy."
Shop it: Balenciaga Leather Biker Jacket [9] ($2,745)
Harry Winston 1.95 Carat Diamond Ring
What the caption says: "Be still our beating hearts."
What it should say: "The price tag may give you a heart attack."
Shop it: Harry Winston 1.95 Carat Diamond Ring [10] (price on request)
Sarah Chloe For Goop Pinky Ring
What the caption says: "Tough, but nicely feminine too."
What it should say: "The indulgent solution when all of your other fingers are already adorned."
Shop it: Sarah Chloe For Goop Pinky Ring [11] ($1,298)