As someone who enjoys kale chips [1] and chocolate separately — and is a huge fan of Compartes [2] — I can tell you that I was both astounded and horrified once I learned that the Compartes Vegan Kale Healthy Kale Dark Chocolate Bar [3] was not a prank, but was in fact a real product made available to the general public for consumption.
Self-described as a "mouthwatering combination of kale crisps, pumpkin seeds, and sesame seeds" on dark chocolate, the bar retails for $10 and looks like literal bird food. While it is true that the 75 percent dark chocolate bar is "bursting with healthy goodness" . . . can't we just leave that to the salads? Why does it have to be in our chocolate?
It was one thing to make green juice gummy bears [5], but to mess with chocolate is a true travesty. LEAVE THE KALE OUT OF THIS [6], PEOPLE. Compartes: you do chocolate so well. Please don't tarnish it with kale. I'm now going to make up for this confectionery abomination by ordering the coconut macadamia chocolate bar [7], which is also vegan and gluten-free, but is delicious and doesn't resemble a salad.