POPSUGAR Celebrity

The Funniest One-Liners From Chef Graham Elliot

Jun 10 2014 - 4:20am

I'm not sure what's more shocking: seeing Graham Elliot's amazing weight transformation in person, or discovering that he's no serious chef critic in real life but rather a total goofball with a dirty mouth, throwing down some serious F-bombs and keeping the crowd in a fit of giggles. During his cooking demo at San Francisco's Chipotle Cultivate Festival [1], the chef invited the crowd to shout out questions while he cooked. Without further ado, read on for his funniest lines.

On meeting Morrissey when he dined at graham elliot [2]: "Not only does he have incredible hair, but he smells good too."

Regarding his take on cioppino: "I'm probably going to bastardize it and make a tomato soup."

On his decision to cover a pot with a frying pan: "I'm going ghetto-chef style. This is how I do it."

His response to the vegan protesters [3]: "You got that foie gras log in the back? Let's get that going!"

Further mocking of the protesters: "You hurt that cow's titties getting out that butter!"

On whether or not a culinary degree is necessary: "I think I graduated with a 1.6. Not one restaurant has ever asked if I went to culinary school. I would probably lie and say I have a doctorate in butchery."


A guy to look out for on this season of MasterChef [4]: "[We call him] 'Texas Cutter.' You will understand why you don't mess with Texas. You can't mess with it, but you can f*ck with it."

On whether or not the MasterChef judges share a text message group: "Some of us are more tech-savvy than others. Some people are more advanced and others still have BlackBerrys."

Regarding future restaurant ideas: "Sometimes I wish I could open a Mexican restaurant so I could name it 'Sí or No.'"

Responding to his burnt halibut: "I f*cked that fish up, but my octopus looks good!"

His worst kitchen injury: "Worst injury? My ego had taken quite a bruising sometimes."

The city with the best food: "This is a PC answer, but everything is equally great except for New England."

The craziest thing he's eaten: "Balut, which is like egg with legs. That's hard-core."

On what durian tastes like: "Durian is like eating an ass, which I know some people are into. They don't even let it on airplanes. Just saying."

Describing his wife's cooking: "My awesome wife is an amazing cook. She's going through the organic health phase. She made a gelatin-free jello. My poor kids. Pinterest is screwing them! But I love you!"

Fun kitchen fact: "We call the microwave 'chef Mike' in the restaurant."

His plating method: "When plating, you want to look like you stumbled upon it in the woods. Sadly this is not in a bread bowl like in the wharf. You know, bread bowls make good hats."

A chef that inspires him: "Thomas Keller [5]. It's like Saint Keller when he walks in the room. Everyone gets down on their knees and does the sign of the cross."

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