Amy Schumer's doll is a nightmare made of plastic . . . and we love it. She's just like the real Amy herself [1], so she spikes her coffee, uses birth control, and wakes up in strangers' beds. When she has unprotected sex, her beloved owner will know what to do — "Uh-oh, no wrappers on the floor . . . time for plan B!!" Let's try to keep this toy away from the kids and enjoy the hot mess for ourselves. Is that not the cutest cranberry juice six-pack you've ever seen?