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20 Times Rory and Lorelai Taught You Everything You Need to Know About Love and Life

Mar 13 2020 - 7:15pm

Feel like reminiscing about mother-daughter duo Rory and Lorelai Gilmore [1]? We know we always do. Thanks to their close, quirky relationship, Rory [2] and single mom Lorelai Gilmore [3] (played by Alexis Bledel and Lauren Graham, respectively) shared plenty of witty back-and-forths and one-liners over the course of the show's original seven seasons. As any avid fan of Gilmore Girls [4] knows, sarcasm reigned supreme on the show, so here are the best Rory and Lorelai conversations and quips on breakups, sex, dating, and more!

— Additional reporting by Haley Lyndes and Tara Block

On the appropriate time to talk about sex.

Lane: Sex, is it great?

Rory: Not in front of the books, Lane!

On how to pick who you date.

Rory: You cannot date Luke.

Lorelai: I said nothing about dating Luke.

Rory: If you date him, you'll break up, and we'll never be able to eat there again.

Lorelai: I repeat, I said nothing about dating Luke.

Rory: Date Al from Pancake World, his food stinks.

On being the ultimate wingwoman.

Rory: Hey, my mom's not wearing any underwear!

On the best way to get over a breakup.

Rory: No men. Just lots and lots of Chinese food.

On the upside of poor life choices.

Lorelai: If you're gonna throw your life away, he'd better have a motorcycle!

On keeping your priorities straight.

Lorelai: Don't study so much that you get brilliant, go mad, grow a big bald egghead, and try to take over the world, OK? 'Cause I want to go shoe shopping this weekend.

Rory: Promise. I will not go mad until we get you some boots.

On not leaving fate to chance.

Lorelai: Yes, I left behind a glass slipper and a business card . . . just in case the prince is really dumb.

On getting back in the dating game.

Emily: Now take me through this step by step. You see a man, you walk up to him, and you say?

Lorelai: "Hello."

Emily: Is that too forward?

Lorelai: No, it's the appropriate way to indicate you're open to a social engagement. Unless, however, you are approaching a weasel. Then I believe the proper signal is just to offer him your hindquarters.

On happily ever after.

Lorelai: It's all any of us wants, to find a nice person to hang with 'til we drop dead. Not a lot to ask!

On how prostitution works.

Rory: One of them, a married man, had a long conversation with — how shall I put this delicately? — a woman of less-than-reputable nature.

Lorelai: Do hookers charge to let you talk to them?

Rory: Depends on what they're doing when they're talking to you.

On attraction not being the most important thing.

Lorelai: I'm attracted to pie. It doesn't mean I feel the need to date pie.

On being in love.

Rory: I just don't want to do or say anything else that's going to be completely moronic.

Lorelai: I'm afraid once your heart is involved, it all comes out in moron.

On being slutty.

Rory: You're happy.

Lorelai: Yeah.

Rory: . . . Did you do something slutty?

Lorelai: I'm not that happy.

On being OK being single.

Rory: I don't want to be that kind of girl. The kind of girl who just falls apart because she doesn't have a boyfriend.

On making a lasting impression.

Lorelai: I'm going to make out in the coatroom. Don't eat my chicken.

Rory: That's going on your tombstone.

On the first-date-outfit dilemma.

Rory: Now I'm supposed to look pretty and girly which is completely impossible because I'm gross and I have nothing to wear.

On holding grudges.

Rory: You just want to hold a grudge.

Lorelai: Yes. Burns more calories.

Rory: That's not true.

Lorelai: Yes, it is. How do you think your grandma got those legs of hers? She's not exactly a StairMaster gal.

On making sacrifices.

Rory: I'm going to have to quit drinking coffee, and I love coffee!

On sexual fetishes.

Lorelai: If it was physically possible to make love to a hot beverage, this would be the one.

On going to therapy.

Lorelai: I can't believe you're going to a therapist. You know, they're totally going to ask you about me.

Rory: What?

Lorelai: They always want to ask about your mother. It's OK. Say whatever you want. But make sure you start with "my mother's very hot."

Rory: Yes, that won't seem at all disturbing to the doctor.


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