20 Times Rory and Lorelai Taught You Everything You Need to Know About Love and Life

Lane: Sex, is it great?

Rory: Not in front of the books, Lane!

Rory: You cannot date Luke.

Lorelai: I said nothing about dating Luke.

Rory: If you date him, you'll break up, and we'll never be able to eat there again.

Lorelai: I repeat, I said nothing about dating Luke.

Rory: Date Al from Pancake World, his food stinks.

Rory: Hey, my mom's not wearing any underwear!

Rory: No men. Just lots and lots of Chinese food.

Lorelai: If you're gonna throw your life away, he'd better have a motorcycle!

Lorelai: Don't study so much that you get brilliant, go mad, grow a big bald egghead, and try to take over the world, OK? 'Cause I want to go shoe shopping this weekend.

Rory: Promise. I will not go mad until we get you some boots.

Lorelai: Yes, I left behind a glass slipper and a business card . . . just in case the prince is really dumb.

Emily: Now take me through this step by step. You see a man, you walk up to him, and you say?

Lorelai: "Hello."

Emily: Is that too forward?

Lorelai: No, it's the appropriate way to indicate you're open to a social engagement. Unless, however, you are approaching a weasel. Then I believe the proper signal is just to offer him your hindquarters.

Lorelai: It's all any of us wants, to find a nice person to hang with 'til we drop dead. Not a lot to ask!

Rory: One of them, a married man, had a long conversation with — how shall I put this delicately? — a woman of less-than-reputable nature.

Lorelai: Do hookers charge to let you talk to them?

Rory: Depends on what they're doing when they're talking to you.

Lorelai: I'm attracted to pie. It doesn't mean I feel the need to date pie.

Rory: I just don't want to do or say anything else that's going to be completely moronic.

Lorelai: I'm afraid once your heart is involved, it all comes out in moron.

Rory: You're happy.

Lorelai: Yeah.

Rory: . . . Did you do something slutty?

Lorelai: I'm not that happy.

Rory: I don't want to be that kind of girl. The kind of girl who just falls apart because she doesn't have a boyfriend.

Rory: Now I'm supposed to look pretty and girly which is completely impossible because I'm gross and I have nothing to wear.

Rory: You just want to hold a grudge.

Lorelai: Yes. Burns more calories.

Rory: That's not true.

Lorelai: Yes, it is. How do you think your grandma got those legs of hers? She's not exactly a StairMaster gal.

Rory: I'm going to have to quit drinking coffee, and I love coffee!

Lorelai: If it was physically possible to make love to a hot beverage, this would be the one.

Lorelai: I can't believe you're going to a therapist. You know, they're totally going to ask you about me.

Rory: What?

Lorelai: They always want to ask about your mother. It's OK. Say whatever you want. But make sure you start with "my mother's very hot."

Rory: Yes, that won't seem at all disturbing to the doctor.