At this point, we're feeling pretty numbed by the hoards of absurd Halloween costumes [1] that debut year after year, so we were hardly surprised to learn that a sexy fidget spinner costume [2] exists out there in this strange, strange world. It's safe to say those are four words I honestly never thought I'd type in succession during my writing career . . . but hey, this is 2017 we're talkin' about here, so I guess anything is possible.
Fidget spinners may have started as a means for children to soothe their jitters, but, for whatever unknown reason, they quickly took over the entire planet this year [3], undeniably becoming 2017's hottest handheld gadget. In an attempt to "sexify" the trendy toy, online retail company Dolls Kill created a skimpy Halloween costume inspired by it [4]. The $38 iridescent silver bodysuit costume features prominent cutouts in both the front and back and black fidget spinners oh-so-conveniently situated over the breasts. The product description suggests, "Complete your look with some black thigh-high boots and they won't be able to get enough of ya!", referencing the addictive nature of using a fidget spinner.
Honestly, the first thing that came to mind the first time I saw this hilariously preposterous outfit was the fembots from the Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery movie — except instead of intimidating others with bullet-shooting boobs, this fidget spinner costume would likely encourage people to touch your chest unannounced so they can give the toys a spin. Blegh.
Image Source: Warner Bros. [6]
Quite predictably, people have a LOT of passionate feelings about this "sexy" costume — most of which are borderline horrified. If you're in need of a good ol' laugh, read on to see what the rest of the internet has to say about the fidget spinner costume, and if you simply can't resist the ever-present temptation to emulate the popular gadget this Halloween, we have a supereasy way to DIY the costume [7] sans tacky rayon material.
I'm done. Just saw a "sexy fidget spinner" costume. Halloween is cancelled y'all
— Ariel Bayatfar (@ABayBayy_) October 14, 2017 [8]
Whenever you're feeling down in the dumps, just remember there's an actual sexy fidget spinner costume that exists. #motivational [9] #halloween [10]
— crippling saltiness (@saltysmartass) October 14, 2017 [11]
I JUST SAW A SEXY FIDGET SPINNER COSTUME WITH FIDGET SPINNERS ON THE BOOBS THAT AND IT'S CALLED "FIDGET ME" I"M SOBBING
— Angie~🌷 (@angiefuwafuwa) October 18, 2017 [12]
Just saw an ad for a sexy fidget spinner Halloween costume and I want to smash my phone
— Ronnie (@ronnieladu17) October 19, 2017 [13]
millennials:
companies: here's a sexy fidget spinner costume!!!!!!!— emily 🦇 (@ketchupdotcom) October 5, 2017 [14]