Finding the right guy can be tough, especially in this day and age. The one type of dude everyone wants to avoid though is a douche bag. Check out this article from Total Frat Move [1] in case you need a quick refresher on what actually makes a guy one.
Hardly an original concept, but if this information is common knowledge, why do I keep seeing so many douche bags? We've made some progress with fedoras, sunglasses at night, popped collars, and cargo shorts. But in the interests of staying vigilant, here's a quick refresher on how to spot a douche.
He Takes Bathroom Selfies
He Name Drops ALL. THE. TIME.
He Documents Every Trip to the Gym on Social Media
He Gives Unsolicited Advice
Especially when it's to someone who's WAY more accomplished than he is.
He's Still Quoting Old School and/or Impersonating Borat
You've Seen a Picture of Him Throwing Up a Middle Finger or Sideways Peace Sign at Some Point
He Forces the Hand-Shake-Hug on People He Doesn’t Know Well
He's a Shitty Tipper
DO. BETTER.
He Boasts About Having a Black AmEx Card
Rappers quit rapping about that, like, 10 years ago.
He Texts During Your Dinner Date
Eye rolls all around.
He Wears Too Much Cologne
Can you smell him five feet away or five minutes after he left the room? Yeah, not good.
He Lives Vicariously Through a Sports Team
Ugh.
He Thinks His Dad Bod Is Supersexy
Just, no.
He Often Brags That He “Has a Friend” With a Beach House, Ferrari, Boat, etc.
Mmkay.
He's a Serial Cheater
Relationships are optional, and bottle service chicks are cheaper. BYE, FELICIA.
He Often Shows Up Late and/or Breaks Plans With You
REALLY?
He Wears Sunglasses and a Hat After Sunset
We're looking at you, Justin.
His Friends Also Seem to Be Douche Bags
They're even worse when they all get together.
He Still Uses a Bluetooth Headset
Bluetooth is the original d-bag tag.
He Parks Like an *sshole
He Sniffs the Cork After Your Waiter Opens a Bottle of Wine
Saying He's a “Connoisseur” of Anything
Sure, buddy.
He Tends to Overdo It on Facebook
No more, please.
He Addresses Service Staff While Still Talking on the Phone
You tell him, Tina!
He Tells Vegas Pool Party Stories on the Regular
John LeFevre is the creator of the @GSElevator [2] Twitter feed and the author of Straight to Hell: True Tales of Deviance, Debauchery, and Billion-Dollar Deals [3] which will hit shelves on July 14th.