Foot fetishes have long been stigmatized as taboo. But thanks in part to pop culture — ahem, Kesha offering feet pics on her Feeld profile [1] — the foot fetish has become mainstream enough that it's now considered "vanilla" in most kink communities.
Not all foot fetish portrayals are created equal, however. (Cough, cough, that "House of the Dragon" foot scene [2].) But there's no doubt that foot play is widely beloved. "Incorporating foot play in your sexual intimacy can be really fun," says sensual intimacy coach Oli Lipski. "Just think of [feet] as additional hands! The best part is that using the feet can make us much more mindful and present to the experience as we indulge in new pleasure zones."
To dip our toes in the world of foot fetishes, we spoke to several sex therapists and intimacy coaches who explained everything from the origins of a foot fetish to best practices in incorporating foot play into sex. With this expert advice in tow, you can unlock your inner foot diva, too — whether you're a beginner looking to understand more about the fetish, or you're an experienced foot-loving pro.
Experts Featured in This Article
Oli Lipski [3] aka The Queer Sensualist [4] is a sensual intimacy coach, sex educator, and writer.
Heather Shannon [5] is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and host of the "Ask a Sex Therapist" [6] podcast.
Melissa Cook [7] is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and has an advisory role on the board of FunwithFeet, a foot fetish blog.
Angelica Jackson [8], MA, LPC, CHST, is the founder and owner of Denver Couples & Sex Therapy [9].
Rebecca Blanton [10] is a kink educator, writer, performer, and co-host of "Fat Chicks on Top [11]," a podcast about "body liberation."
What Is a Foot Fetish?
At its most basic definition, a foot fetish, or podophilia, is an attraction to feet. "You can think of it as perceiving feet as we'd typically perceive breasts, butts, or genitals," says sex therapist Heather Shannon. "Often, someone with a foot fetish thinks feet are even sexier than these traditionally [sexualized] body parts. For example, seeing naked, pedicured feet can be a huge turn-on for someone with a foot fetish."
Due to the inherently private nature of foot fetishes, there isn't a lot of research on the particular topic. However, every sex expert we spoke with confirmed it's one of the most common fetishes. "It is one of the more prevalent fetishes relating to the body," says sex therapist Melissa Cook. "It might involve the desire to caress, touch, or lick feet, or be about the aesthetics of feet, such as their size, toe shape, or footwear."
Why Do People Have Foot Fetishes?
It's tempting to want to unravel our fetishes and make them make sense. But what someone finds arousing doesn't always have a simple answer. Sex therapist Angelica Jackson tells Popsugar that some people "may associate feet with domination or submission or find particular aesthetic features attractive, such as the shape, size, or even the smell of feet."
People develop arousal stimuli in a myriad of ways. "A lot of kinks and fetish play is based on power exchange and the psychological impact of playing with taboos," says kink educator Rebecca Blanton. "Feet, in general, are seen as lowly or dirty. For some people, being consensually forced to kiss, lick, touch, or be stepped on by a foot puts them in a submissive position." For others, giving or receiving pedicures can be seen as an act of service and a form of a love language.
For example, Blanton is submissive and enjoys acts of service. "My partner has diabetes and must take good care of his feet," they say. "To make this whole pedicure process seem less medical, I provide sexy pedicures (wearing lingerie or nothing, kneeling at his feet). We both enjoy the power exchange, the intimate act of grooming (pedicure, massage), and it meets a medical need."
For Lipski, foot play began as something playful. "I remember giving my [boyfriend] a foot job when I was a teen," she says. "And as I've grown up, I've not shied away from incorporating feet into my intimacy. I think feet are such rich pleasure zones."
And although she clarifies she has a "foot kink" and not a foot fetish, she enjoys foot stimulation during sex. "I love giving foot massages, I've used feet to stimulate my vulva, and in my solo play, I sometimes think about the sensations in my feet to keep me present."
How to Incorporate Foot Play Into Your Sex Life
If you're interested in exploring foot play, first communicate with your partner that you want to bring feet into the mix. "Ask if they feel comfortable having their feet touched or if they'd rather it just be your feet," Lipski says. "Some people's feet are incredibly sensitive, and some [people] are just not into feet. Hygiene might also be a factor, so cleanliness is key."
Like with many other kinks and fetishes, it may also be helpful to discuss the use of a safe word (something random like "red" or "pineapple"). Once consent and safe words are established, experiment with the options below to incorporate foot play into your sex life:
- Touch them yourself. Connect to the sensations in your feet by playing with temperature and textures like feathers or ice cubes. "We spend so much of our lives on our feet, putting a world of pressure on them, so acknowledging them with touch can be incredibly pleasurable and gratifying," Lipski says. Some examples: rub ice cubes around your feet, spend an extra-long time in the shower washing and caressing them, lotion your feet before you go to bed, give yourself a foot massage, etc. Learn what feels good so you can share what you enjoyed with your partner.
- Get a pedicure. Whether you're giving or receiving the pedicure, it has the potential to be very sensual, and that sense of pampering can definitely get someone in the mood.
- Give or receive a foot massage. Similar to a pedicure, a foot massage is a good starting point. Whether their feet are sore or not, offer to massage your partner's feet with some lotion. (And maybe ask them to return the favor after.)
- Try toe sucking. Start by gently licking and sucking each other's toes. "You can also try licking between the toes," Shannon says, "or going for other parts of the foot to experiment with what feels best." Remember, hygiene is a must, so this type of act would be best immediately following a shower or bath. And don't forget to use your safe word if you begin to not enjoy the sensations.
- Give a foot job. Instead of fingering or giving a hand job, try a foot job. "Obviously, your feet aren't as coordinated as your hands, but you can still use them to create friction on a penis or to stimulate a clitoris or vaginal opening as well," Shannon says. Simply place your feet together and put them around the base of a penis so they're moving back and forth, similarly to how your hands would with a hand job.
Melanie Whyte [13] was a contributing staff writer for PS. Based in NYC, she writes about LGBTQ identity, sex and relationships, pop culture hot takes, mental health, and home improvement. Her work has been featured by Refinery29, Real Simple, Apartment Therapy, Southern Living, Coveteur, NPR, and more.