After spending $13 on low brow tacos my wife and I went Christmas shopping for our kids. This was our date for the...
Posted by No Idea What I'm Doing: A Daddy Blog [1] on Sunday, November 18, 2018 [2]
Clint Edwards, a father of three and author [3], isn't afraid to be candid about what it's really like shopping for your kids' Christmas gifts in 2018. In a hilarious Facebook post [4], he explained the pure hell that is mulling over your children's lists for Santa [5] and deciding what exactly you can afford to buy them. In an effort to make Christmas shopping fun [6], Clint brought along his wife and framed it as a sort of date night, and we're still laughing out loud.
"After spending $13 on low-brow tacos my wife and I went Christmas shopping for our kids [7]," he wrote. "This was our date for the month. This is parenthood. Sexy... I know. Here are a few thoughts, observations, and exaggerations on shopping for toys in 2018."
"My son asked for a shirt with a cat in space shooting lightning from its paws while eating a pizza and I actually scratched a hole in my head trying to understand," he said. "A surprising amount of toys this year have to do with poop and farts. What a time to be alive. Thanks YouTube for making everything come in a magic egg."
While the current toy "trends" are often bad enough, the stress of holiday shopping is how much stuff kids really ask for and what goes down when — and if! — they really get it.
"A surprising amount of toys this year have to do with poop and farts. What a time to be alive."
"Our son's wish list added up to just over $5,000 and I've never wanted to make someone live on the streets until now," Clint said. "Play-Doh was on everyone's list and we won't be getting any of it because I'd rather slam my head in a car door. Our daughters asked for a Barbie dream house to share so they can fight over a pretend house inside our real house. I didn't think my 11-year-old [9] could possibly get lazier and then boom! He asked for a hover board."
He admitted that although the concept of a hover board is utterly ridiculous to him, his daughters had far more over-the-top requests.
"As if having real pets wasn't enough my daughter's asked for a stuffed dog that licks and twerks along with a walking unicorn who declares her love," he said. "Christmas morning's going to be like Narnia meets Miley Cyrus. $60? Seriously? Not today, L.O.L. Surprise! Our middle daughter asked for a bath bomb maker, a child sized foot-massager, and a children's press on nail kit. Turns out, I'm raising Paris Hilton."
At the end of the day, Clint and his wife narrowed down their kiddos' list to a few items they'll use, and they're already bracing themselves for their children's reactions: "We finally wilted down their lists to something they need, want, and can read. Bring on the tears."