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Dad's Rant About Kids' Christmas Gifts in 2018

Dad Finds a Reason to Hate Everything on His Kids’ Wishlists This Year, and His Observations Are LOL-Worthy

Clint Edwards, a father of three and author, isn't afraid to be candid about what it's really like shopping for your kids' Christmas gifts in 2018. In a hilarious Facebook post, he explained the pure hell that is mulling over your children's lists for Santa and deciding what exactly you can afford to buy them. In an effort to make Christmas shopping fun, Clint brought along his wife and framed it as a sort of date night, and we're still laughing out loud.

"After spending $13 on low-brow tacos my wife and I went Christmas shopping for our kids," he wrote. "This was our date for the month. This is parenthood. Sexy... I know. Here are a few thoughts, observations, and exaggerations on shopping for toys in 2018."

"My son asked for a shirt with a cat in space shooting lightning from its paws while eating a pizza and I actually scratched a hole in my head trying to understand," he said. "A surprising amount of toys this year have to do with poop and farts. What a time to be alive. Thanks YouTube for making everything come in a magic egg."

While the current toy "trends" are often bad enough, the stress of holiday shopping is how much stuff kids really ask for and what goes down when — and if! — they really get it.

"A surprising amount of toys this year have to do with poop and farts. What a time to be alive."
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"Our son's wish list added up to just over $5,000 and I've never wanted to make someone live on the streets until now," Clint said. "Play-Doh was on everyone's list and we won't be getting any of it because I'd rather slam my head in a car door. Our daughters asked for a Barbie dream house to share so they can fight over a pretend house inside our real house. I didn't think my 11-year-old could possibly get lazier and then boom! He asked for a hover board."

He admitted that although the concept of a hover board is utterly ridiculous to him, his daughters had far more over-the-top requests.

"As if having real pets wasn't enough my daughter's asked for a stuffed dog that licks and twerks along with a walking unicorn who declares her love," he said. "Christmas morning's going to be like Narnia meets Miley Cyrus. $60? Seriously? Not today, L.O.L. Surprise! Our middle daughter asked for a bath bomb maker, a child sized foot-massager, and a children's press on nail kit. Turns out, I'm raising Paris Hilton."

At the end of the day, Clint and his wife narrowed down their kiddos' list to a few items they'll use, and they're already bracing themselves for their children's reactions: "We finally wilted down their lists to something they need, want, and can read. Bring on the tears."

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