"Go to sleep." "I'm so tired." "Please don't cry." These are things every new parent says at one point or another . . . sometimes several dozen times over the course of a single crib-side powwow at 2:45 a.m. But there are some statements guaranteed never to enter the lexicon of a first-time mom.

Source: Flickr user Gatanass [1]

"That's not as expensive as I thought."

"I slept so well last night."

"Running errands is really a lot easier now."

"We have plenty of diapers."

"This book was a real page-turner."

"Well, that was easy."

"I'm concerned the baby isn't crying enough."

"I have so much energy."

"Wouldn't it have been cool if we had twins?"

"Hey, we never got a bill for that."

"Can't you play that any louder?"

"Ugh, these jeans are too loose on me."

"You're not that cute."