Eva Mendes Opens Up For the First Time About the Struggles of Motherhood

Updated on 11/26/2014 at 8:29 AM

Eva Mendes opened up about her life as a new mom for the first time for a special interview for Violet Grey's digital publication, The Violet Files. The notoriously private actress — who kept her recent pregnancy under wraps for months — revealed not only the meaning behind her daughter Esmeralda's name but also the struggles she and partner Ryan Gosling have been having since Eva gave birth back in September. Keep reading for more from Eva's Violet Files interview. Source: Emma Summerton / Violet Grey

On raising Esmeralda: "Everything is a struggle for her. For instance, I haven't thrown up since the '90s and she's thrown up twice since we started this interview. Motherhood is cake compared to what it's like to be a baby."
On how her life has changed since having a baby: "I thought my wild nights were over but these are some of the wildest nights I've ever had."
On raising Esmeralda without a nanny: "But as far as a nanny or a night nurse, for me that part of being a mother at this early stage is the struggle of not being able to sleep and not knowing what I'm doing and really going through it with her and battling out those nights."

Source: Emma Summerton / Violet Grey

On reading parenting blogs: "I try not to Google too many things because it is frightening. But I do go to babycenter.com and read the comment sections from other mothers because I find so much solace in that. Just knowing that I'm not alone out there and that other moms have gone through the same thing can at least get me through the night."
On Esmeralda's name: "Ryan and I both love the Esmeralda character from the Victor Hugo novel, The Hunchback of Notre Dame and just think it's a beautiful name. Amada was my grandmother's name. It means 'beloved' in Spanish."
On her under-the-radar pregnancy: "Whether we like it or not, privacy is going to be very difficult for Esmeralda. I think it's unfair but that's our reality. So Ryan and I decided early on to give her as much privacy as we could. And my pregnancy was the first opportunity to give her that."

Source: Emma Summerton / Violet Grey

Source: Emma Summerton / Violet Grey