Kelsey Tells Us There Were Things About Chris She "Couldn't Gel With"

Kelsey Poe — one of two widows on The Bachelor — has been one of the most controversial contestants of Chris Soules's season, and she took some major heat during Monday's "Women Tell All" episode. She's been accused of being condescending toward the other women, some of who think she used her husband's death to her advantage, even faking a panic attack to get attention. I spoke with Kelsey the night of the "Women Tell All" airing, and she opened up about how you have to take the gossip with a "grain of salt," what she found "annoying" about herself watching the show, and what about Chris she "couldn't gel with." Get the interview below.

POPSUGAR: How do you feel about "Women Tell All"?

Kelsey Poe: This "Women Tell All" was a highly anticipated event, and I'm relieved it's over, and I'm glad I was able to voice some things and clarify some things. I'm still feeling anxious, but I think that's just the nerves of coming back into the Bachelor world after being gone for a while.

PS: Did watching the show change how you felt about the other women?

KP: Not about the interpersonal relationships, because despite what the girls have said about me and the confrontation at the very end, they were always so nice to me in person. So I was under the impression that we were developing healthy relationships, and so I can't resent them or have hard feelings toward them because I see them in the light of what I experienced when we were living together in the house.

PS: Was it hard to watch?

KP: It was hard, and I think everyone on the show can agree with that to some regard, because we don't realize the gossip that goes on until we watch it air. And with that in mind, I think we all have to take it with a grain of salt and remember that we're talking a lot, and so words are going to be said, and hopefully we can all forgive each other.

PS: Do you think it's possible to make friends with people who are sharing a boyfriend?

KP: It's very possible. In the beginning, everyone's friends because we're all in this new environment and we're feeling very raw and a little scared, so we cling to each other because we all have this same commonality. But as the weeks progress, and as the hearts start to develop feelings toward Chris and as tensions get high, you start to feel a lack of confidence in your ability to stay, then that's when I think the claws come out. I think people who are the most insecure are the ones who tend to attack the most.

PS: Being so isolated during filming, how did you stay sane and true to yourself?

KP: It's very important to me to be grounded, and I say that because after Sanderson passed away, I felt completely untethered from this world, because I didn't have a home base and I would get lost in my mind. So I developed strategies to help protect myself from going off into la-la land. I'm a spiritual person, so I did daily devotionals and read the Bible and journaled and just tried to focus on my interpersonal growth. I even promised myself that every day I'm on this show, if I'm not growing or learning something new in some way, then it's time wasted. So I wanted to make sure that I was using this time valuably, not just to see if there was something between me and Chris, but to also grow as a person.

PS: Was there anything about yourself that you found annoying when you watched the show?

KP: My laugh. Yes, my laugh is annoying. I feel like I need to go to voice training lessons or something to get it worked on. I'm super-self-conscious now.

PS: What was it like returning home from the show?

KP: I came home really broken, so it wasn't like I was excited to be home. The experience was so difficult for all the girls, to an extent, for me just because the roller coaster, the drama people might call it, that I needed time to heal. To be perfectly honest, I'm still healing from this experience, because it was not what I would have expected, like the outcome is not what I would have expected. We've been watching the shows, and especially episodes five and six and the last two episodes, I was witnessing another person on TV. I was just in shock; I was devastated.

PS: Was there anything that you learned from this experience that will change your relationships moving forward?

KP: I think that I've learned more about the type of man I want to be with, just in comparison to Chris, really. That's not to say that I want to be with someone the opposite of him or someone just like him; it's just that he had attributes and a character that I really admired, and then there were some things I couldn't gel with.

PS: Like what?

KP: He's not as articulate. If you saw that Jimmy Kimmel episode with the chalkboard, that annoyed me — a lot. It's hard to develop a relationship, and I'm a very intellectual person and I like to bond by talking, and so it was difficult to have that all the time.