Why Your Ideal Weight Isn't What You Think It Is

When a woman is looking to lose some weight, it's often the last 5 pounds that can be the most problematic. For some, that weight is accepted but for others it can become a bit of an obsession. Our friends at Sakara discuss why women are so focused on shedding those last couple of pounds that will put them at their goal weight and why that expectation isn't really realistic for everyone.

For many women, food, exercise, and weight are on the mind . . . a lot. We're constantly reading about and experimenting with food, exercise, sleep, water, herbs, breathwork, and anything else we can get our hands on in order to find out what works best for US in OUR bodies.

I think about this quest a lot for me personally, the industry I work in, and the people in my life. I'm a lucky lady to be surrounded by so many amazing, beautiful, strong women. Yet I often hear things such as . . .

Oh my god I ate so much this weekend, I need to juice this week.

Ugh I can't stop snacking, help.

I haven't been to the gym in 3 days, I feel AWFUL.

I think that many women who find themselves dancing with these thoughts — myself included — are here because we find it difficult to maintain our ideal weight. Staying at the weight we want to be at is a battle — anything but effortless like the health magazines tote around. And while there is nothing wrong with diving into the world of healthy living and experimenting with your body (hello, have you heard of The Experience?), this constant doubting, controlling, manipulating, etc. is harmful, stressful, and a complete waste of our energies (not to mention it decreases metabolism and increases fat storage, not helping the cause!).

But I think the real problem here is that so many women find themselves in this daily, if not hourly, fight because they are aiming to maintain a weight that is 5-10 pounds lower than where their bodies actually want to be (again, myself included). We're struggling to maintain a weight that, although we've convinced ourselves is where our bodies naturally land, is actually determined by the images of the ideal female body we see everywhere we look – billboards, commercials, social media, etc. To be honest, I think this obsession with keeping our bodies just 5-10 pounds lighter than they should be is actually one of the least drastic/harmful reactions to these photoshopped ideals of absolute beauty – but I also think living in this space is also torture. Those 5-10 pounds we are fighting everyday to keep off are like that one that got away: that thing that we're compulsively obsessed with, fixated on, need to have. That thing that you know will make everything in your life perfect if you can just catch it.

But deep down, somewhere buried in the very depths of your all-brilliant, all-shining, all-wise gut, you know that's not true. And I'm here to tell you that that actually could not be further from the truth.

Those extra 5-10 pounds, that place where your body naturally wants to be – that's your life. That's your late night pizza with your man, that Sunday morning bottomless brunch, your favorite cupcake in the whole entire world because you wanted to treat yourself. Those 5-10 pounds are your favorite memories, your unforgettable trips, your celebrations of life.

Those extra 5-10 pounds are your spontaneity, your freedom, your love.

In honor of Love + Sex + Companionship month, I encourage you to give up the struggle — even if just for the time being — and re-focus your energy on focusing on the love, sex, companionship, and all other juicy moments in your life, and nothing else. Allow your body to exist effortlessly in it's actual ideal weight, and rejoice in the peacefulness you deserve.