We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, YourTango. Is your relationship in trouble? Read on to find out!
We humans long for stability in a world where everything is in flux. Despite our wishes, the only certainty in life is constant change. Nothing will be exactly the same tomorrow as it is today.
Rivers erode one bank while causing accretion on another. Just when we think we've settled into a safe existence, we lose a job, someone gets sick, a child is born, a parent dies. Some change is rapid and perceptible like technological innovation or a Summer storm. Other changes take eons like the creation of mountains or the smoothing of jagged rock.
Your relationship is also always changing in perceptible and imperceptible ways. Even the most rock solid union is in a state of flux. Like nature, relationships have seasons and rhythms. During each "season," you build a stronger union or drift apart. Your thoughts, words, attitudes, and behaviors dictate the direction in which change moves. Are you headed toward more intimacy and closeness or away toward isolation and alienation?
We have listed 13 specific danger markers to help you assess whether your relationship is headed in the wrong direction.
- Secrets are a cancer to relationships. They gnaw at trust and closeness and create barriers between people.
- Infidelity can undermine the best of relationships. Even relationships that survive the exposure are often irreparably scarred the experience. Emotional infidelity can be as damaging as physical infidelity.
- Lack of balance in decision-making power is usually a sign of a lack of cooperation and mutuality.
- An overall feeling that you are superior to your partner is a prescription for dissatisfaction for both parties.
- Reluctance to bring your partner to business or social gatherings can be a sign of shame, which is unwelcome in a healthy relationship.
- Resentment in sharing in your partner's success or accomplishments reflects competitiveness and a lack of recognition that partners are on the same team.
For seven more signs, head over to YourTango: 13 Signs Your Relationship Is in Trouble
Check out more great stories from YourTango:
- Three Tips to Fix Your Relationship
- A New Twist on the 80/20 Rule For Relationships
- Why Men Are More Distant Than Women in Relationships