How to Get Dressed in 14 Easy Steps, According to a Toddler

Updated on Oct 30, 2015 at 9:21 AM

Whether it's time for school, play group, to run errands, or, let's face it, you and your child have been in pajamas for days (because reality), it's probably time to get dressed. The concept of dressing oneself is entirely different when inside the mind of a toddler — as are most things — so while your idea of getting dressed may be pulling a shirt over your head and tying the knot on your favorite pair of sweatpants, to a toddler, it's probably going to go a little something like this . . .

Open every drawer in your room, declaring all of the things you would like to not wear today. That Batman shirt was so last week, and even though you've been wearing leggings every day for the last year, you're over them now.
Deny Mom's request to wear something she just bought you and thinks will "look so cute." No way, that's too easy and you're a toddler, you're far from agreeable — stay strong.
Take off you pajamas and run around the house naked for several minutes. Screaming optional.

Throw a tantrum and wiggle around on the floor once you've been caught. Getting dressed is so lame!
Allow your mom to put your shirt over your head, then promptly run away and take the shirt off. Bonus points for hiding it somewhere clever, like the toilet.
Return to your room after the ever-frightening "countdown." Phew, she almost got to three that time!

Declare that you'd like to pick a new outfit. After running around in your Birthday Suit, you've decided you may want to go in another direction with your fashion choices today.
Go into your parent's closet and select something ill-fitting to parade around in. While Mom asks you to "please cooperate because she has a lot to do today."

Take the directive from Mom and visit the dress-up bin instead. That's what she meant by "cooperate," right?
When you don't find anything you like, repeat step one. Every. Single. Drawer.
Finally admit defeat and put on the shirt Mom has selected, but take off your underwear — and run. Have an in-depth discussion with the family dog about your private parts while you're at it.

Grab items from around the house to compliment your shirt-only outfit. Great choices include Mom's sunglasses, the pasta strainer, and rolls of duct tape.
Play cat and mouse with Mom for the rest of the morning. She'll tire out soon enough.
Run into the living room, where Mom is likely sitting defeated on the couch, and announce that you're dressing as Spiderman for the day. And ultimately win the war, because at least being Spiderman means you're "dressed."