6 Things You Can Do to Make Sure Your Daughter Never Says "I'm Bad at Math"

Growing up, and even into adulthood, I've always admitted to being "bad at math" and "not a science person." That is, until I spoke with Danica McKellar — the actress who came to fame as Winnie Cooper in The Wonder Years and, after getting a degree in mathematics and writing a series of groundbreaking books aimed to teach kids that being smart is cool, now stars in the hit Netflix original tween series Project Mc².

She asked me what grades I got in high school. "Straight As," I admitted. "Even in calculus."

That's when Winnie Cooper scolded me. "If you got an A in calculus, you're definitely not bad at math!" But what frustrated her most was finding out I was the mom to a little girl. She begged me never to use the phrase "bad at math" again.

And there's a good reason why. "Up until a certain age, all kids — girls and boys — approach math and the sciences the same, but then at a pivotal time, usually around ages 7 to 12, girls start to wonder who they are and what they're going to be," McKellar told us. "They're more and more aware of stereotypes. The feeling of belonging is so important for young girls. They want boys to like them and they want to be popular, so they say, 'I don't want to be nerdy,' and they dumb themselves down."

What happens next is disheartening. McKellar said: "As their self-confidence starts crumbling, they start believing their own act. 'Maybe I am really bad at math.' Girls will self-identify as bad at math and science when they really aren't."

Thanks to her upbringing at an all-girls school and one "transformative" teacher, McKellar managed to avoid much of the social pressure that surrounds impressionable tweens, but she's adamant that it hasn't gotten much better since she came of age — or even when her most famous character did in the late '60s.

So, what can parents — especially those of young girls — do to make sure we don't continue this "bad at math" cycle? McKellar offered up six incredibly straightforward tips.

1. Acknowledge that there are differences between boys and girls.
McKellar's own son once asked, "Boys are taller and stronger than girls, so are they better?" Her response was honest: "I said: 'Good question. It's true that boys are often faster at running and can get bigger muscles, but girls also do things boys can't. They can grow a baby inside their tummy. Some things boys and girls do equally well, and even though some skills are different, one is not better than the other.'"

2. Try not to tell her she's adorable.
"Try your hardest not to go on and on about how cute your daughter is" or how gorgeous her eyes are, McKellar advised us. Focus on other character traits, like problem-solving abilities and strength.

3. Talk about math out loud, everywhere you go.
"Counting and comparing numbers out loud is beneficial to kids, no matter their age," she said. "When you go to the grocery store and you want to buy three pounds of ground chicken, say the numbers aloud. 'Here's how much it costs per pound, so this is how much it will cost in total.' Show that math never has a chance to seem like a foreign subject, and they'll grow up understanding that math has an application."

4. Apply math to her daily life.
Show the unexpected ways math comes into play. One of McKellar's favorite examples for social-media-savvy tween girls is with a simple equation: "If you share this kitten video with five of your friends, and they share it with five of their friends, and so on, how long will it take to get to a million views?"

5. Hide your own math insecurities.
When moms say that they're terrible at math, it will discourage their kids and set the bar lower. "If you were discouraged in math, please do not tell your daughter," she said. "Make it the one thing you aren't truthful about." And what if you honestly don't feel capable of helping with math homework? Improvise. "Say, 'This is different from how we did it. Let's get some help.'"

6. Show her how math can actually be entertaining.
"If you look around, you can see there's more and more reality TV heralding women who are not aspirational," McKellar said. That's where her show, which was just renewed for two new seasons on Netflix today, comes in. Project Mc² follows four smart and science-skilled girls as they join a spy organization, NOV8 (pronounced "innovate"), led by McKellar's character, The Quail. "The show is exactly in line with my main goal in life — to help girls who want to be smart," she told us of the series, which includes a line of dolls with experiment sets that will help keep girls interested in science even after the season is over. "It proves you can be smart and fun and fashionable. And being smart makes everything else better."